I'm drifting......how do I regain direction?

July 14, 2016 10:01 AM

I've just turned 52 and I feel like I am currently drifting along in life with no clear goals and a lack of focus and direction. How can I get a plan and regain direction?

I seem to be just drifting along at the moment and sometimes feel I'm just going through the motions. Having said that I've got quite a full life. I work full time, Keep fit, have just bought a property for the first time and have two grown up sons and lots of friends and interests.
And yet...
....I just feel like I'm not really in the moment. My attention span is poor and I put that down to a smartphone habit I've developed which almost seems to be a compulsion. I'm always checking Facebook, Tinder and generally anything else that might pop into my head at any given moment. This, I think, comes at a cost as I find it hard to focus and concentrate on other things such as reading, watching films etc.
Also I feel like my brain can be a bit jumbled and my ideas and thoughts flit around like butterflies.
I will say at this point that I'm not suffering from depression or anything like that. I just seem really whimsical (if that's the right word) all the time. What I'd really like to do is learn to focus and concentrate on things a bit more. I'm a part time freelance cartoonist and at the moment I'm just going through the motions with it where I should be spending more time honing my skills and generating new markets for myself. I just find I can't be bothered even though I know I'll regret not doing this sooner or later as it's been a good earner for me in the past.
Can anyone provide me with a plan of action to refocus my brain?

posted by blokefromipanema to Human Relations (5 answers total)

I would see if you could partner up with a creative partner in some way to work on a really strong, difficult, time-consuming and creativity-consuming project. If you're able to do everything a little bit too easily, I think stretching and challenging yourself might push you into something new might reset your brain a bit.
posted by xingcat at 10:11 AM on July 14, 2016 [3 favorites]

You say you work full-time and then you say you are a part-time freelance cartoonist and it sounds like you want to grow that job and hone your skills. That's a lot to fit into a day and still expect to be able to focus on reading/films on top of that. Nobody can be "on" all the time. I would suggest scaling back on the full-time work if at all possible, to free up your brain for freelance skills development and leisure.
posted by headnsouth at 10:31 AM on July 14, 2016

Best answer: I am 51. My concentration has improved with better nutrition and exercise.

I'm always checking Facebook, Tinder and generally anything else that might pop into my head at any given moment.

I do that sort of thing when I am just plain tired. Look to your health and your sleep hygiene.

have just bought a property for the first time

I think part of what you are going through is that your life recently changed and you are struggling to reorient yourself. If buying property was on your radar a long time, if that was your big goal, well, you have removed a big goal. So, um, now what? I think that is totally normal.

Give yourself time to adjust mentally to your new reality, say six months, and during that time, work on upping your physical stamina. Pick a date six months in the future to reassess, set new goals, etc.
posted by Michele in California at 11:02 AM on July 14, 2016 [3 favorites]

There is, reportedly, a cost to at least some individuals who spent a lot of time on social media. I'm training myself to mostly stay off of my usual haunts because I tend to visit a lot when I feel lonely. Only doing that usually makes me feel worse, not better. I live alone and have discovered that watching limited TV before bed and doing the social media thing once a week is way better for my mental health than when I was checking FB and other social several times a day. I found it both addictive and unsatisfying. YMMV.
posted by Bella Donna at 11:37 AM on July 14, 2016 [5 favorites]

2nd Bella Donna. The less time I spend online, the better I feel, and the more efficient I am at focusing.

Also, can you rent a studio space with someone? Then go, and leave your electronic devices at home.
posted by cotton dress sock at 12:10 PM on July 14, 2016