How to sign off a card to an elder in French

July 7, 2016 2:50 PM

I'm writing a birthday card to my grandmother in French (this is in Canada). In English I would just sign it "Love, sea change", but I'm not sure what the appropriate sign-off is in French--something that's loving and not too formal/distant, but also respectful enough for a 90 year old woman.

Google isn't really helping -- I can directly translate 'bisous' or 'cordialement' or whatever, but I am not fluent enough to gauge whether those are appropriate for this situation.

Thanks!

posted by sea change to Writing & Language (6 answers total)

Best answer: I usually sign (cards to my French grandmother) with "gros bisous"
posted by gin and biscuits at 2:58 PM on July 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

Here's a list that might be helpful.
posted by eisforcool at 8:37 PM on July 7, 2016

Best answer: We sign cards with "gros bisous" for our older French friends, who are grandmas and grandpas (65-70+). They seem to like it (and it's also how they sign cards to us).
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:40 AM on July 8, 2016 [2 favorites]

Best answer: We say "grosses bises," it's just a teensy touch more formal than "bisous." Think a hug with someone you love but you know doesn't like huge enveloping embraces, preferring a warm firm hug.

"Cordialement" is businesslike :) it's what we sign off with by default. Equivalent to "Best regards."

The actual French for written farewells is formules de politesse btw, this will help search for them. The French word-a-day linked above is kind of off; it's more someone's impression of what works and is used, than what is actually used and what they really mean to French people. For instance it's not "tchao", it's "ciao." I say "ciao" all the time because hey, what makes more sense than an American using an Italian greeting in France? More seriously. It is actually the Italian that's been adopted in France; very much more common in the southeast (bordering Italy) but it's migrated northwards. Just using it as an example of perception vs. actual usage. If you write "tchao" people will raise an eyebrow and probably not correct you because it would be impolite for something well-intended. This is like Reason Number One around the world for people holding tweaked perceptions of language usage.

I would say "grosses bises" to a grandmother I love and respect-in-a-somewhat-formal-way. Which I grok because I had a grandfather-in-law who had an impressive life, et on se vouvoyait pendant toutes les années qu'on se connaissait. I said "grandes bises" to him. Which is another touch more formal, using "grandes" rather than "grosses," due to the slight additional distance of him being in-law as opposed to direct family.
posted by fraula at 3:06 AM on July 8, 2016 [2 favorites]

also don't use "grandes bises" because it was also kind of a joke between us, no one really says that, more "grands bisous." The whole family always laughed at how we vouvoyions one another, but both of us got it.
posted by fraula at 3:12 AM on July 8, 2016

Note that if your grandmother is from Québec, you may want to use Québécois French rather than metropolitan French. "Bisou" is "Bec" in Québécois so "Grosses bises" is translated as "Gros becs" (Big beaks!). Québécois are rather less formal about stuff like this than the French, but you may need a native Québécois speaker to confirm this (I only have Québécois relatives) (also, Tchao is perfectly fine in colloquial French, not for use with grandmothers though)
posted by elgilito at 9:59 PM on July 9, 2016