How do I dispose of my father's estate?

December 28, 2005 12:44 PM

I need information and suggestions on dealing with the aftermath of a parent's death, specifically the disposal of house and possessions.

My father died Monday morning (my mother's been dead since '92); I'm the executor of the will but am living across the country, my younger brother has been living with my father in Santa Barbara and is dealing with the immediate problems (mortuary, obit, and so on). I can do a lot via phone and mail, but at some point I'm going to have to fly out there and deal with disposing of the big stuff. Besides the house (a fairly old ranch house not in great condition), there's a 1983 Nissan Sentra and—this is the most difficult part—a houseful of stuff accumulated over decades in the foreign service: Imari ware plates, an old Korean table (incredibly heavy), paintings, etc. etc. Is there any way to convert all that into cash without either getting ripped off or spending more time and energy than any of us has trying to sell individual pieces on eBay? There must be businesses that specialize in this, but it's hard to search when "estate" brings up a million hits about real estate (this is also a problem searching MeFi, so apologies if this has been asked before). Any general advice about things we may not have thought of are also welcome (I just realized I'd better contact Social Security), and if you happen to know a reliable Santa Barbara realtor, that would be great too.
Thanks in advance for your kind thoughts; my dad was 90 and had been going downhill fast since he fell and broke his hip, so the death was both expected and merciful, but death is never easy to deal with.

posted by languagehat to work & money (26 comments total)

an estate lawyer took car of some of this stuff for my family when we had to deal with this
posted by yeahyeahyeahwhoo at 12:49 PM on December 28, 2005

First and foremost, I'm really sorry about your loss.

My suggestion would be that you ask your lawyer about this sort of thing. While a lawyer will not end up being the person that helps you, he/she will probably have a good deal of experience in this area, since wills often need to travel through the legal system.

If you don't have a lawyer, perhaps a family member does?
posted by twiggy at 12:49 PM on December 28, 2005

Here's the Santa Barbara Association of Realtors.
posted by JanetLand at 12:52 PM on December 28, 2005

My condolences. Try adding "probate" to your google searches; I was able to come up with this place as an example (I have no idea whether they are trustworthy or not). Also, when you hire a probate attorney, s/he should be able to point you in the direction of a firm that organizes and conducts estate sales.
posted by malocchio at 12:56 PM on December 28, 2005

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, languagehat.

I don't have any direct advice, since I'm in the other corner of the country, but unless you want to spend scads of time going through your dad's stuff, a service that does disposals would be the way to go. You might want to ask the funeral director if he can give you a lead on somebody who deals with disposing of estate goods. On second thought, you might check around for a trusted auction house in the area. They can also take care of the whole thing, for a percentage of course.
posted by SteveInMaine at 12:59 PM on December 28, 2005

Condolences, languagehat. Well we had a death in the family recently, and other family members nearer the scene took care of things, including a house full of stuff. Consensus was, there was an inverse relationship between convenience and value realised; basically, the more that other people (e.g. dealers) sorted things out, the bigger the cut they took; so you're paying for the convenience.

Some stuff was donated to institutions, for a healthy one-time tax write-off - that may be worth it for the art.

Sorting through other peoples' stuff is always a pain, and doubly so when it's a relative.
posted by carter at 1:00 PM on December 28, 2005

Selling a house long-distance is fairly simple. When we needed to sell my Parent's condo in Florida after my father died we went through a local realtor. Since they're paid as a percentage of the sale price, there's usually no reason to doubt that they won't work to get the most they can as quickly as possible. All documents were processed via fax or fedex.

A local auctioneer or antiques dealer can help you appraise the value of what you have and help you sell it.

If the property was simply willed to the two of you, you'll want a local lawyer to get everything through Probate. My parents, however, had transferred everything they owned into a trust before their death, which my sister an I became trustees of automatically upon their death. That move made the time and expense of probate unnecessary.
posted by dchase at 1:07 PM on December 28, 2005

A local auction house will clear the house, advise on the value of the items, and sell them for you. So try searching to see if you have one close by.
posted by fire&wings at 1:14 PM on December 28, 2005

Here's one:
Liberty's Auction House
1107 and 1113 State Sts.
Santa Barbara, CA 93101
805-568-1929
posted by JanetLand at 1:23 PM on December 28, 2005

Languagehat, I'm truly sorry.

I wanted to quickly point something out that you may ealready know: because of limited growth policies in the city, even delapidated properties are generally highly valuable for their land. I also think, given what a wealthy area it is, you might do well to have a local auction house handle the sale of your father's more valuable items, while donating the rest for a write-off.

I really think a local estate lawyer (meaning local to Santa Barbara) is the way to go -- he or she will contacts you don't, will think of things you won't, and can coordinate matters for you at a distance, so that you don't end up underselling because you run out of time or resources to handle things yourself. He or she can also recommend things you can do to offset the taxes generated by the sales of these items, which will become important for next year's taxes (if you're accustomed to doing them yourself, I'd take them to a professional next year). I hope someone in the area with experience can connect you with someone skilled.

I'm also sorry that the first comment in this thread was idiotic and boorish, and I've flagged it for what I hope will be rapid deletion.
posted by melissa may at 1:27 PM on December 28, 2005

Seconding or thirding the suggestion that you call a local auction house. You could try calling the local art museum for a recommendation (when I worked at an art museum it was a common question and we kept a list); Sotheby's also often has local representatives. I'm sorry to hear of your loss.
posted by mygothlaundry at 1:28 PM on December 28, 2005

Probate lawyers in Santa Barbara.
posted by JanetLand at 1:34 PM on December 28, 2005

There is such a thing as estate sales-there are companies that specialize in holding what I would call a glorified yard sale in which literally everything in the house has a price. They are not uncommon here in North Carolina.

Perhaps the funeral home would have some leads on such?
posted by konolia at 1:39 PM on December 28, 2005

I am the executor of my dad's estate; my mom is also dead. I have told my sister that what I plan to do when he dies is to break up his worldly goods into lots, worth roughly $1,000 each by my surmisal. She gets first pick, and we alternate. Since we're both EBay gurus, this gives us both the opportunity to take what we like and sell the rest.

The car and house get sold, and I get my 5% executor fee off the top.

So, were I you, I'd use my plan to split stuff up with your brother, unless you don't have a good eye for value, in which case you can hire an appraiser (from a local auction house) to split the stuff up into lots for you. Liquidating it all ahead of time prevents either of you from grabbing particular items of sentimental interest. For example, my 'first pick' would be of all of my dad's military service commendations, trophies and souvenirs, whereas my sister would want his collection of pig-related tchotchkes.
posted by solid-one-love at 1:57 PM on December 28, 2005

Having recently gone through this myself, let me add my thoughts -

Be sure there's nothing in the house that anyone else would like to have. If it's something of potentially great financial value, have it appraised or see what the going rate for the item is on eBay. While checking eBay may not give you the actual value of the item, it will tell you what the general public is willing to pay for the item.

Go through everything. As tedious as this may be, you never know where you might find hidden treasures.

Don't be in a hurry to sell the house. Dispersing and disposing of a lifetime of possessions takes time.

Listing everything on eBay is not even an option unless you have nothing to do for the next year. It's a time consuming process, and there are better options.

An estate sale is a good remedy for what remains. After that give 1800gotjunk a call for the 'disposables' and Goodwill or Salv. Army for the donatables.

I'm sorry for your loss.
posted by SoftSummerBreeze at 1:59 PM on December 28, 2005

estate agents or an auction house will come by and appraise and take care of everything--simple. Just go thru everything first your self to take what you want, if you can.

(I'm so sorry for your loss)
posted by amberglow at 2:00 PM on December 28, 2005

I went through the same thing last year when my father died (my mom died in 1981). My aunt was named executor and she did not live in the state where my father lived. My wife and I did much of the hard work of cleaning my packrat father's house, contacting a company to handle the estate sale, transfering title of the car, etc. My aunt and my father's lawyer dealt with all the paperwork, etc, which I am very thankful for as there was property in 3 states and lots of legal things to handle.

languagehat, feel free to contact me via my profile info. I will be happy to speak with you on the phone about my experiences too, if that is easier.

Either way, my condolences on your loss.
posted by terrapin at 2:35 PM on December 28, 2005

.
posted by staggernation at 6:03 PM on December 28, 2005

Contact an auctioneer. They regularly do estate sales.
posted by megatherium at 6:29 PM on December 28, 2005

sorry to hear this, languagehat. I will sixth or seventh the auction route - such circumstances are a backbone of many auction businesses. Selling on consignment or to a dealer is likely to net you less than your net from an auction. And there are many scales of auctions. I recently helped a young woman dispose of her father's miscellaneous and quite junky stuff. A pickup truck of the worst of it netted over 500 bucks at the auction, such things as 10 dollars for a bucket of old copper pipes, 10 dollars for a box with three broken bedside lamps, 75 dollars for a decrepit but parts-rich airbrush set. It added up! She really needed the money, and all we had to do was crudely sort and put into boxes, load into a truck, and take to auction.

Mind you, she is still disposing of the 11 portable massage tables he made in his spare time as a home business.

Being able to deal with little stuff in this manner vs. taking to Sally Ann would probably pay for your flight, and, as noted, you may find hidden gems -- nostalgic or sentimental, not only financial.
posted by Rumple at 6:31 PM on December 28, 2005

I know I'm breaking the AskMe rules by not offering an answer to LH's question (I wish I could help). But I just wanted to offer my condolences to Mr. Hat. Sorry for your loss, sir.
posted by Devils Slide at 11:23 PM on December 28, 2005

Condolences, languagehat. Do be sure to take out the sentimental value things before you dispose of the rest. You will always be glad that you did.
posted by Cranberry at 11:50 PM on December 28, 2005

Please accept my condolences, LH.
posted by Lynsey at 12:11 AM on December 29, 2005

My condolences, languagehat. I am sorry to hear this.
posted by halonine at 12:31 AM on December 29, 2005

Thanks very much for all your advice and kind words. The auction route sounds like a good idea, but I'll have to investigate the various possibilities that have been suggested; I guess I'll hold off on marking best answers until I've decided on a course of action, because otherwise I'd be marking almost all of them. AskMe is truly a great resource.
posted by languagehat at 6:45 AM on December 29, 2005

languagehat: I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I asked the kind people over at Somerset Estate Sales/Chicago Antiques Guide to post some info about choosing someone to handle these types of sales. I hope it is helpful to you. Take good care.
posted by jeanmari at 11:07 AM on December 30, 2005