Was I right to end relationship with no sex
May 28, 2016 12:48 PM Subscribe
I ended relationship because of lack of sex and intimacy and I feel guilt about it.
Am I being unreasonable?
I firstly have to accept I will likely get flamed on this thread as I have posted before about this relationship and naturally people will assume I ignored the advice I received.
It's been an on/off relationship for 6 years and she's ended it more times then I care to remember.
However this time I have ended it. We've been back together about 4 months and in that period we've only had sex once and I don't think she enjoyed it.
She's blamed the menopause and I accept that, but the lack of intimacy coupled with all that's happened before has made it even harder for me to be happy in the relationship.
We see each other once a week to go for a country walk. She has an adult son with a disability and he comes with us. She drops me home and that's about it.
Thing is when he goes to his respite care ( one weekend a month) she seems to find excuses not to see me. I think it's because she doesn't want to be intimate.
I suspect that this is what happened again this weekend as there was a late cancellation of this weekend's walk. I reacted to that by telling her it's not working for me anymore for the reasons we've discussed ( we've talked about this stuff before)
I feel bad about it though I don't know how hurt she will feel as it seems she mainly sees me as a friend. She has it tough as the sole carer for her adult son and her life is limited by it. She hasn't always been very kind to me and has ended it a few times herself but that doesn't mean I want to hurt her.
Do you think it's acceptable to end a relationship in these circumstances? I haven't heard a word from her. I admit I texted it to her and not proud of that but that's because we've spoken face to face about it already and she doesn't really like confrontation and I was also disppointed in her cancelling planned date.
I firstly have to accept I will likely get flamed on this thread as I have posted before about this relationship and naturally people will assume I ignored the advice I received.
It's been an on/off relationship for 6 years and she's ended it more times then I care to remember.
However this time I have ended it. We've been back together about 4 months and in that period we've only had sex once and I don't think she enjoyed it.
She's blamed the menopause and I accept that, but the lack of intimacy coupled with all that's happened before has made it even harder for me to be happy in the relationship.
We see each other once a week to go for a country walk. She has an adult son with a disability and he comes with us. She drops me home and that's about it.
Thing is when he goes to his respite care ( one weekend a month) she seems to find excuses not to see me. I think it's because she doesn't want to be intimate.
I suspect that this is what happened again this weekend as there was a late cancellation of this weekend's walk. I reacted to that by telling her it's not working for me anymore for the reasons we've discussed ( we've talked about this stuff before)
I feel bad about it though I don't know how hurt she will feel as it seems she mainly sees me as a friend. She has it tough as the sole carer for her adult son and her life is limited by it. She hasn't always been very kind to me and has ended it a few times herself but that doesn't mean I want to hurt her.
Do you think it's acceptable to end a relationship in these circumstances? I haven't heard a word from her. I admit I texted it to her and not proud of that but that's because we've spoken face to face about it already and she doesn't really like confrontation and I was also disppointed in her cancelling planned date.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Hey there, I'm sorry you're still feeling conflicted about this, but we've talked about this a number of times, and you can no longer post about this relationship here. -- LobsterMitten
Best answer: You want to share more time and intimacy than this woman is willing to give you. It's not just sex it sounds like. You are not wrong. Find someone who wants to spend more time with you!
posted by Kalmya at 12:58 PM on May 28, 2016
posted by Kalmya at 12:58 PM on May 28, 2016
Best answer: You were right to end this relationship. This time, make it stick!
posted by J. Wilson at 1:00 PM on May 28, 2016
posted by J. Wilson at 1:00 PM on May 28, 2016
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posted by Bella Donna at 12:58 PM on May 28, 2016 [1 favorite]