Am I acting like a child or do I have a legitimate complaint?
May 1, 2016 8:04 PM Subscribe
I just lost out on the chance to pick up some responsibilities at work that I really wanted and thought I was promised. Now, instead of enjoying my job like I used to, I am mostly am just upset. Are my feelings justified? Should I cut my losses and leave?
A few months ago I switched from teapot design to teapot manufacturing. I was already dabbling in teapot manufacturing, so everyone thought it was going to be a positive switch. It wasn't. As it turns out I'm pretty bad at teapot manufacturing.
After several conversations with my manager, he acknowledged that my transfer to teapot manufacturing was a bad choice for everyone. He proposed that I switch to doing half teapot manufacturing and picking up the much needed teapot sales responsibilities for the other half of my time. I had already been doing some teapot sales for fun on the side, and started picking up more to prepare. I ended up spending an a lot of my free time outside of work to get better at teapot sales (I didn't have time at work because I didn't want to get behind on teapot manufacturing) and am now my company's resident teapot sales expert. Everything teapot sales related seemed to be moving in a positive direction, and a few weeks ago it was finally announced to my immediate team members that I would be picking up teapot sales.
One morning last week my manager and I had a meeting to define exactly what the teapot sales position looked like. Immediately after the meeting some members of the teapot design team announced that they were working on a teapot sales solution very similar to the one my manager and I had just finished discussing. My manager pulled me aside to let me know that because of the work of the teapot design team, my position doing teapot sales was no longer needed. So now I'm back to doing just teapot manufacturing, which everyone has agreed I'm pretty useless at.
According to my manager, despite the announcement to my team about the role change, nothing about my teapot sales role was set in stone, and sometimes people take risks that don't work out. I academically understand what he is saying. I understand that the world is not a fair and just place, and that sometimes what is best for the company is not what is best for the individual. I also agree that his choice to allow the teapot designers to handle this is what's best for the company. Even with that academic understanding it is very hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that my manager, who I like and respect, has treated me unjustly but the injustice is still best for the group. I find this concept very upsetting.
Since the reversal my manager has been making an effort to help me get better at teapot manufacturing, going so far as to set me up with a mentor and providing me with a list of side projects he thinks would develop my skills. But I don't really want to do teapot manufacturing, I want to do teapot sales. And every time I hear about the designers doing teapot sales or am asked for help with teapot sales I just want to yell at them. My manager has also suggested that he could see me taking the teapot sales management position 5 or 6 years from now. I'm pretty young, so 5 or 6 more years before management isn't unreasonable, but the idea of 5 or 6 years more of teapot manufacturing makes me want to yell at him. Plus, in the teapot industry most people don't even stay in one job for 5 years without substantial career growth, so the suggestion is also fundamentally unrealistic.
At this point I'm very depressed and very angry (which is an unfamiliar emotion for me) with everyone around me at work. I acknowledge that these emotions are a little bit childish, but I'm starting to feel trapped and dreading a job I used to love despite not being good at it. I'm trying to gain a perspective that will at least allow me to make it through the work day without depression or anger, but every time I seem to gain stable footing something pushes me back over the edge. I don't want to give up a good job at a company I love because of some stupid circumstances, but at the same time I am starting to feel like it's time to cut my losses.
So the questions - am I just being childish or am I justified in my anger? Should I walk away from a job at a company I love just because foresee no huge career growth for the next 5 years?
A few months ago I switched from teapot design to teapot manufacturing. I was already dabbling in teapot manufacturing, so everyone thought it was going to be a positive switch. It wasn't. As it turns out I'm pretty bad at teapot manufacturing.
After several conversations with my manager, he acknowledged that my transfer to teapot manufacturing was a bad choice for everyone. He proposed that I switch to doing half teapot manufacturing and picking up the much needed teapot sales responsibilities for the other half of my time. I had already been doing some teapot sales for fun on the side, and started picking up more to prepare. I ended up spending an a lot of my free time outside of work to get better at teapot sales (I didn't have time at work because I didn't want to get behind on teapot manufacturing) and am now my company's resident teapot sales expert. Everything teapot sales related seemed to be moving in a positive direction, and a few weeks ago it was finally announced to my immediate team members that I would be picking up teapot sales.
One morning last week my manager and I had a meeting to define exactly what the teapot sales position looked like. Immediately after the meeting some members of the teapot design team announced that they were working on a teapot sales solution very similar to the one my manager and I had just finished discussing. My manager pulled me aside to let me know that because of the work of the teapot design team, my position doing teapot sales was no longer needed. So now I'm back to doing just teapot manufacturing, which everyone has agreed I'm pretty useless at.
According to my manager, despite the announcement to my team about the role change, nothing about my teapot sales role was set in stone, and sometimes people take risks that don't work out. I academically understand what he is saying. I understand that the world is not a fair and just place, and that sometimes what is best for the company is not what is best for the individual. I also agree that his choice to allow the teapot designers to handle this is what's best for the company. Even with that academic understanding it is very hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that my manager, who I like and respect, has treated me unjustly but the injustice is still best for the group. I find this concept very upsetting.
Since the reversal my manager has been making an effort to help me get better at teapot manufacturing, going so far as to set me up with a mentor and providing me with a list of side projects he thinks would develop my skills. But I don't really want to do teapot manufacturing, I want to do teapot sales. And every time I hear about the designers doing teapot sales or am asked for help with teapot sales I just want to yell at them. My manager has also suggested that he could see me taking the teapot sales management position 5 or 6 years from now. I'm pretty young, so 5 or 6 more years before management isn't unreasonable, but the idea of 5 or 6 years more of teapot manufacturing makes me want to yell at him. Plus, in the teapot industry most people don't even stay in one job for 5 years without substantial career growth, so the suggestion is also fundamentally unrealistic.
At this point I'm very depressed and very angry (which is an unfamiliar emotion for me) with everyone around me at work. I acknowledge that these emotions are a little bit childish, but I'm starting to feel trapped and dreading a job I used to love despite not being good at it. I'm trying to gain a perspective that will at least allow me to make it through the work day without depression or anger, but every time I seem to gain stable footing something pushes me back over the edge. I don't want to give up a good job at a company I love because of some stupid circumstances, but at the same time I am starting to feel like it's time to cut my losses.
So the questions - am I just being childish or am I justified in my anger? Should I walk away from a job at a company I love just because foresee no huge career growth for the next 5 years?
Response by poster: To clarify, I'm rather outstanding at teapots in general. I did well in teapot design (unfortunately my CEO will not let me go back to that department because he hates position changes in general), and I did such a good job with teapot sales that I apparently was able to get others interested in the work and teach them how to do it. Teapot manufacturing is just one area that I am neither good at nor enjoy. If my company were doing poorly I would be concerned, but they're not, and they are really benefiting from my teapot generalist skills.
posted by Krop Tor at 8:22 PM on May 1, 2016
posted by Krop Tor at 8:22 PM on May 1, 2016
They are using you and there are politics at play you do not understand. They expect you to look for a new job. Do this ASAP.
posted by jbenben at 8:31 PM on May 1, 2016 [36 favorites]
posted by jbenben at 8:31 PM on May 1, 2016 [36 favorites]
Best answer: Should I walk away from a job at a company I love just because foresee no huge career growth for the next 5 years?
I would frame this question in a different manner, but it will get at the same question. Think of yourself as a mini-company. You know what your good at, and you collect the experiences that you want for future positions.
It sounds like 1) you are (were) good at the design aspects, 2) you know your industry (even if you are not great at manufacturing, you understand all of the intricacies from design to manufacturing) and 3) you have a desire to do this (sales).
I would normally suggest talking to a manager first for an opportunity to do what you want (sales) and give them a timeline in your head, but you already did that and they already changed course.
So in your shoes, I would absolutely look for another job. Specifically, look for a job in your same industry (selling teapots) because you come with background and a strong will to do it and prove yourself. This probably sounds horrible to some people, but I would look up competitor tea companies and approach them, even if there is a job not listed (just drop off a resume and state at the top - desired sales position).
I would also consider looking for sales positions in other industries because the skills will translate (ie, go learn sales in cars, pharm, whatever). But you are making the move because your minicompany is not going the direction that you want and need it to.
If you can, take emotion out of this. Be pleasant at work, don't give a hint at you are thinking. When you leave, it should not be a HAHAHHA I will go into sales, but you made the best decision for you.
Good luck.
I've done exactly what I'm advocating, changed jobs when after first talking to a manager and the plan to change roles did not happen in x months - and it worked out (ie, I got the experience I wanted). You can do it; go for it.
posted by Wolfster at 8:50 PM on May 1, 2016 [11 favorites]
I would frame this question in a different manner, but it will get at the same question. Think of yourself as a mini-company. You know what your good at, and you collect the experiences that you want for future positions.
It sounds like 1) you are (were) good at the design aspects, 2) you know your industry (even if you are not great at manufacturing, you understand all of the intricacies from design to manufacturing) and 3) you have a desire to do this (sales).
I would normally suggest talking to a manager first for an opportunity to do what you want (sales) and give them a timeline in your head, but you already did that and they already changed course.
So in your shoes, I would absolutely look for another job. Specifically, look for a job in your same industry (selling teapots) because you come with background and a strong will to do it and prove yourself. This probably sounds horrible to some people, but I would look up competitor tea companies and approach them, even if there is a job not listed (just drop off a resume and state at the top - desired sales position).
I would also consider looking for sales positions in other industries because the skills will translate (ie, go learn sales in cars, pharm, whatever). But you are making the move because your minicompany is not going the direction that you want and need it to.
If you can, take emotion out of this. Be pleasant at work, don't give a hint at you are thinking. When you leave, it should not be a HAHAHHA I will go into sales, but you made the best decision for you.
Good luck.
I've done exactly what I'm advocating, changed jobs when after first talking to a manager and the plan to change roles did not happen in x months - and it worked out (ie, I got the experience I wanted). You can do it; go for it.
posted by Wolfster at 8:50 PM on May 1, 2016 [11 favorites]
Best answer: It sounds like you'd be happier in another job. It also sounds like you're at some point going to have a manager telling you "I think you'd be happier in another job." This is not good, because they won't mean in sales.
I occasionally assign people to projects they don't love. I understand that, not everyone loves everything. Unfortunately, I can't always match people's desires 1:1 with what they would love.
Your strategy right now is to fucking GET good at manufacturing. Stop acting like manufacturing is a skill you unfortunately weren't born with and do your best to learn it with a good attitude. That's what will get you poached by another group eventually. Nobody likes the defeatist attitude, and I bet you that's how your sales opportunity got derailed behind the scenes.
posted by ctmf at 9:31 PM on May 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
I occasionally assign people to projects they don't love. I understand that, not everyone loves everything. Unfortunately, I can't always match people's desires 1:1 with what they would love.
Your strategy right now is to fucking GET good at manufacturing. Stop acting like manufacturing is a skill you unfortunately weren't born with and do your best to learn it with a good attitude. That's what will get you poached by another group eventually. Nobody likes the defeatist attitude, and I bet you that's how your sales opportunity got derailed behind the scenes.
posted by ctmf at 9:31 PM on May 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
I would be looking for another job, honestly. A couple of reasons:
One:
The mentor thing could be a good thing, but it also could be part of an informal PIP, particularly if it is a small company. ("I gave Krop Tor every possible chance to improve.")
Two:
5-6 years is not a reasonable career timeframe to be discussing. I am not in teapots, but I would always discuss my employees next career steps in terms of 2-3 year increments. 5-6 years is so far away in a career planning horizon that you might as well just say "someday". If he didn't offer you interim steps, something is wrong.
Three:
Announcing a position to others and then taking it away again is unprofessional and weird. This alone would make me run, not walk away. I had something similar happen to me at a much more senior level and it was a result of really really nasty politics between regional/local parts of my organisation. I stayed because I understood what had happened and why, but it sounds as though you don't know the cause. It seriously undermines you with the people around you, and (again) sounds as though you're being set up for a PIP.
Four:
"my CEO will not let me go back to that department because he hates position changes in general"
This is stuff and nonsense. It makes literally no sense at all, and sounds like an excuse. Or a really inexperienced and dangerously inflexible CEO. Both cases are bad.
No, you are not being childish-- I know it sucks, but it really sounds to me as though it is time to hit the road.
posted by frumiousb at 10:14 PM on May 1, 2016 [14 favorites]
One:
The mentor thing could be a good thing, but it also could be part of an informal PIP, particularly if it is a small company. ("I gave Krop Tor every possible chance to improve.")
Two:
5-6 years is not a reasonable career timeframe to be discussing. I am not in teapots, but I would always discuss my employees next career steps in terms of 2-3 year increments. 5-6 years is so far away in a career planning horizon that you might as well just say "someday". If he didn't offer you interim steps, something is wrong.
Three:
Announcing a position to others and then taking it away again is unprofessional and weird. This alone would make me run, not walk away. I had something similar happen to me at a much more senior level and it was a result of really really nasty politics between regional/local parts of my organisation. I stayed because I understood what had happened and why, but it sounds as though you don't know the cause. It seriously undermines you with the people around you, and (again) sounds as though you're being set up for a PIP.
Four:
"my CEO will not let me go back to that department because he hates position changes in general"
This is stuff and nonsense. It makes literally no sense at all, and sounds like an excuse. Or a really inexperienced and dangerously inflexible CEO. Both cases are bad.
No, you are not being childish-- I know it sucks, but it really sounds to me as though it is time to hit the road.
posted by frumiousb at 10:14 PM on May 1, 2016 [14 favorites]
Best answer: You're done at your company. You need to move on.
Basically you are stuck in Teapot Manufacturing and there's no way but out for you at this company. Talking about a theoretical job 6 years in the future....that's not real. OMG, that's not a thing. WHO would say that?
This particular job has tanked. If they really valued your contribution you'd be the one directing the Teapot Sales Team, not working with a mentor to better learn a job you're not very good at and that you don't enjoy.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 4:27 AM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
Basically you are stuck in Teapot Manufacturing and there's no way but out for you at this company. Talking about a theoretical job 6 years in the future....that's not real. OMG, that's not a thing. WHO would say that?
This particular job has tanked. If they really valued your contribution you'd be the one directing the Teapot Sales Team, not working with a mentor to better learn a job you're not very good at and that you don't enjoy.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 4:27 AM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
my CEO will not let me go back to that department because he hates position changes in general
The same CEO who presumably signed off on a design team preparing and implementing a sales solution? I agree that there are internal politics happening that are opaque to you.
Being angry is not itself childish. But indulging your anger would be childish in that it might make you feel better in the short term but can only hurt long term.
Look for a new job not because you are angry, but because the organization may not be a perfect fit for your teapot generalist-sales skillset. Worth finding out if another org looks better.
posted by solotoro at 4:30 AM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
The same CEO who presumably signed off on a design team preparing and implementing a sales solution? I agree that there are internal politics happening that are opaque to you.
Being angry is not itself childish. But indulging your anger would be childish in that it might make you feel better in the short term but can only hurt long term.
Look for a new job not because you are angry, but because the organization may not be a perfect fit for your teapot generalist-sales skillset. Worth finding out if another org looks better.
posted by solotoro at 4:30 AM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
Best answer: Nthing everything frumiousb said. Especially this:
"my CEO will not let me go back to that department because he hates position changes in general"
This is stuff and nonsense. It makes literally no sense at all, and sounds like an excuse. Or a really inexperienced and dangerously inflexible CEO. Both cases are bad.
Also nthing politics. I'm very good at testing teapots, with excellent teapot testing strategy skills and also people skills that are hard to find, which has led to me being put on some of the most high-stakes teapot testing projects in our large consulting company. Boy-oh let me tell you, after nearly a decade in these contexts? Please let me impart some hard-won wisdom: as soon as decisions start making little sense, and you feel like it might be all your fault, and people are giving you "rare" opportunities to improve while removing actual responsibilities? Politics are at play. You sound like a smart, conscientious person who genuinely wants to do their job well. Another bit of very hard-won wisdom: the most politicized of politickers absolutely love to play politics with employees like you, because they know full well that you'll ask "is it me?" before realizing "it's them". Not a judgement. Not a judgement at all, I'm one of those people who works towards politickers realizing that conscientious employees are their strongest assets and to knock off treating them like you're being treated.
Find somewhere that appreciates conscientious employees. Do a lot of reading up on businesses, soul-searching on how you're being treated here and in what ways it's bad business, and you will come to your own strategies for filtering the good from the bad.
posted by fraula at 4:49 AM on May 2, 2016 [18 favorites]
"my CEO will not let me go back to that department because he hates position changes in general"
This is stuff and nonsense. It makes literally no sense at all, and sounds like an excuse. Or a really inexperienced and dangerously inflexible CEO. Both cases are bad.
Also nthing politics. I'm very good at testing teapots, with excellent teapot testing strategy skills and also people skills that are hard to find, which has led to me being put on some of the most high-stakes teapot testing projects in our large consulting company. Boy-oh let me tell you, after nearly a decade in these contexts? Please let me impart some hard-won wisdom: as soon as decisions start making little sense, and you feel like it might be all your fault, and people are giving you "rare" opportunities to improve while removing actual responsibilities? Politics are at play. You sound like a smart, conscientious person who genuinely wants to do their job well. Another bit of very hard-won wisdom: the most politicized of politickers absolutely love to play politics with employees like you, because they know full well that you'll ask "is it me?" before realizing "it's them". Not a judgement. Not a judgement at all, I'm one of those people who works towards politickers realizing that conscientious employees are their strongest assets and to knock off treating them like you're being treated.
Find somewhere that appreciates conscientious employees. Do a lot of reading up on businesses, soul-searching on how you're being treated here and in what ways it's bad business, and you will come to your own strategies for filtering the good from the bad.
posted by fraula at 4:49 AM on May 2, 2016 [18 favorites]
Let me get this straight: you spent enough of your free time to become a recognized sales expert, but they won't consider you for a sales position until 2022? That's as big of a "fuck you" as I've ever heard in the corporate world.
Please explain why you "love" this company; it sounds unlovable to me. You don't have to get another job (you probably should at least look around), but at the very least, you should reevaluate your relationship, because they are taking advantage of you.
posted by kevinbelt at 5:13 AM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
Please explain why you "love" this company; it sounds unlovable to me. You don't have to get another job (you probably should at least look around), but at the very least, you should reevaluate your relationship, because they are taking advantage of you.
posted by kevinbelt at 5:13 AM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]
Unless your story is missing important details, your manager was either incompetent (failed to realise the teapot design team was doing work that made your teapot sales job redundant), was blindsided by politics himself (so not someone you can rely on to get you a promotion), or he deliberately deceived and took advantage of you. Not a place you want to be at.
You're totally justified to be angry, but please keep being professional at work and be the best teapot manufacturer you can be while you spend your free time looking for another job.
posted by pianissimo at 6:06 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
You're totally justified to be angry, but please keep being professional at work and be the best teapot manufacturer you can be while you spend your free time looking for another job.
posted by pianissimo at 6:06 AM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]
So if people in the teapot industry rarely stay longer than five years at a company, why are you planning for 5-6 years to management at this company? Perhaps this kind of thing is why there's so much turnover.
If you don't get what you're expecting at work, you either learn to love it or leave it. You owe them good work while you're on the clock and nothing more. Use your anger to make a careful plan to get what you want through a move elsewhere.
posted by blnkfrnk at 6:16 AM on May 2, 2016
If you don't get what you're expecting at work, you either learn to love it or leave it. You owe them good work while you're on the clock and nothing more. Use your anger to make a careful plan to get what you want through a move elsewhere.
posted by blnkfrnk at 6:16 AM on May 2, 2016
This question really bothered me, so much so that even after answering above, it's been on my mind all morning. I'm trying to see this from your company's perspective. Three scenarios come to mind. (These are not mutually exclusive, and there may be other possibilities.)
1. You are actually incredibly valuable to find manufacturing team. Maybe you're the only experienced manufacturer, or the workload is such that losing one team member would set back production. In this case, you have a lot of leverage, but you have to be willing to walk away to use it. Start interviewing elsewhere. If you get offered a position, go back to your boss and say "I got this other offer, but I'd really prefer to stay here, if I can do some sales work on the side".
2. Someone on the design team really doesn't like you. I find it interesting that the same team that's now handling sales is the same team blocking your return to your old position. You say the CEO doesn't like position changes, but he had no problem changing you from sales back to manufacturing. There's someone who wants to keep you in a manufacturing ghetto, and as long as that person is at the company, your options will be limited. (Also note, if your CEO really does oppose position changes, your company will have a hard time filling positions with the best people, and that will probably restrict the company's ability to be successful long term. So it might be smart to get out now.)
3. You're not actually very good at sales. Could it be that you were the sales expert by default, because no one else had ever bothered to think about sales? And then, once you were announced in the sales position, other people scrambled to find a different solution because they knew you wouldn't succeed? That said, even if you're terrible, you still deserve to be treated with respect. It's not ok to treat you like that, regardless of your competence. Start looking elsewhere.
I've been thinking about this for two hours of my life now, and every scenario I can think of ends in "you're being mistreated and should look for a new job". Get out of there, man.
Having said that, while you're still there, take full advantage of the mentoring they're offering. I have a client who just lost their best employee because they suggested that he find a mentor, and the mentor offered him a job.
posted by kevinbelt at 6:46 AM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
1. You are actually incredibly valuable to find manufacturing team. Maybe you're the only experienced manufacturer, or the workload is such that losing one team member would set back production. In this case, you have a lot of leverage, but you have to be willing to walk away to use it. Start interviewing elsewhere. If you get offered a position, go back to your boss and say "I got this other offer, but I'd really prefer to stay here, if I can do some sales work on the side".
2. Someone on the design team really doesn't like you. I find it interesting that the same team that's now handling sales is the same team blocking your return to your old position. You say the CEO doesn't like position changes, but he had no problem changing you from sales back to manufacturing. There's someone who wants to keep you in a manufacturing ghetto, and as long as that person is at the company, your options will be limited. (Also note, if your CEO really does oppose position changes, your company will have a hard time filling positions with the best people, and that will probably restrict the company's ability to be successful long term. So it might be smart to get out now.)
3. You're not actually very good at sales. Could it be that you were the sales expert by default, because no one else had ever bothered to think about sales? And then, once you were announced in the sales position, other people scrambled to find a different solution because they knew you wouldn't succeed? That said, even if you're terrible, you still deserve to be treated with respect. It's not ok to treat you like that, regardless of your competence. Start looking elsewhere.
I've been thinking about this for two hours of my life now, and every scenario I can think of ends in "you're being mistreated and should look for a new job". Get out of there, man.
Having said that, while you're still there, take full advantage of the mentoring they're offering. I have a client who just lost their best employee because they suggested that he find a mentor, and the mentor offered him a job.
posted by kevinbelt at 6:46 AM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
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If that's the case, you probably should be looking for a new job anyway, because you and your company have agreed you're not great in your current role.
I'm not sure I'd use the term childish, but hoping your company will resolve this for you seems misguided. I think you may want to get out there and get a great teapot sales-related offer ASAP.
posted by warriorqueen at 8:14 PM on May 1, 2016 [8 favorites]