my tongue defines grime

December 21, 2005 3:35 PM

As Withnail said in "Withnail & I"; "Look at my tongue. A grey yellow sock."

The tip of my tongue is allright, but the rest of it is, in fact, a grey yellow sock nowadays. I have no idea how it happened, but I do know that it sucks. I want my healthy, pink tongue back and I want it now! How can I achieve my goal?

A few disclaimers. I Live in Sweden, so I may not have access to the same remedies you have in the US and in Great Britain, for instance. Tongue scrapers are right out as they make me gag, please don't tell me to get used to them. Basically, what I'm looking for is a brew that I can cook up in the comfort of my own home, one that will make my tongue french kissable again in no time.

Can it be done? My love life is in your hands! :)

posted by soundofsuburbia to health & fitness (13 comments total)

You need to brush it or scrape it. Sorry.

If it goes down your throat, it could be thrush (i.e. upper GI yeast infection). In which case your doctor will give you some drugs for it.
posted by kindall at 3:41 PM on December 21, 2005

What is this tounge scraper you speak of? Is this something I should be doing to my tounge, which is probably less pink than it should be?
posted by dpx.mfx at 4:07 PM on December 21, 2005

I'd like to see a photo.

Just kidding.

Tongue Scrapers can be helpful. Have you thought about going to the dentist? But it sounds like you may have something wrong - like a thrush infection.
posted by k8t at 4:12 PM on December 21, 2005

I am in fact going to see a dentist in a month or so, but I was hoping I could take care of this problem myself as I feel uncomfortable at the dentist's as it is.

Another disclaimer: The dentist is not my love life. ;)
posted by soundofsuburbia at 4:19 PM on December 21, 2005

do you smoke heaps? regular brushing and mouhtwash would help, but you'd still need to scrape a layer of gunk off anyways.

dpx.mfx: a soup spoon would suffice as a tongue scraper, or you could just brush your tongue after you brush your teeth.
posted by Tixylix at 4:26 PM on December 21, 2005

Probably just a bunch of nasty plaque buildup which, unfortunately, really would benefit most from a tongue scraper. But could possibly be oral candida so it is good you are going to the dentist. He should be able to tell at a glance.
posted by Justinian at 4:28 PM on December 21, 2005

What is this tounge scraper you speak of?

They are instruments for scraping your tongue.

Here is one with a low-profile scraper that claims to avoid gagging.
posted by kindall at 4:29 PM on December 21, 2005

My girlfriend Brushes her tounge with a toothbrush. He mouth is ALWAYS kissable.
posted by gergtreble at 4:32 PM on December 21, 2005

Thank you all for your advice. It sure looks like I'm going to have to overcome my fear of tongue scrapers, somehow.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 4:38 PM on December 21, 2005

Since you live in a civilized country with universal healthcare, have you tried consulting a physician?
posted by TedW at 6:20 PM on December 21, 2005

Brush your tongue after you're done with your teeth. Go as far back as you can, just to the point of gagging. Then do it again.
posted by notsnot at 7:58 PM on December 21, 2005

Brushing your tongue will help but will probably not be enough. If you absolutely refuse to use a tongue scraper, you might try the antibacterial rinse-n-spit Peridex (chlorhexidine), which in the US requires a prescription.
posted by neuron at 8:56 PM on December 21, 2005

Warning: I had to use Peridex when I had infected wisdom teeth, before I had them out - it's NASTY. Worse than Listerine... much, much worse.
posted by IndigoRain at 5:06 PM on December 22, 2005