How to feel good while financially uncertain and living in poverty?
April 7, 2016 11:59 AM Subscribe
About a month ago I graduated my college program in software development. Despite having an impeccable resume and cover letter, I'm never asked for an interview, while financially I have thousands and thousands of dollars in student loan debt and debt accumulated from trying to survive for the last year and a half in school.
Everyday, all day, I see all these bills, debt, etc. in my mind with this ticking clock that eventually they have to be paid back. My fiancee is supporting us both through whatever contract positions she is able to find, but even so we barely break even paying back debt and living as cheaply as we can.
Since my dad killed himself when I was in high school my mother and I have struggled with poverty, however I've never been THIS much in debt and so unable to find any work! I thought that going to college to study an 'in demand field' would benefit me, not worsen everything for me.
The advice my college's career services has given me is to send this gift boxes to potential employers to help them notice me. How can I possibly afford that?!
Overall I spend a lot of my day crying and applying to jobs. Seeing as how I will be dirt poor for the foreseeable future, how do I keep some sense of sanity through all this?
Everyday, all day, I see all these bills, debt, etc. in my mind with this ticking clock that eventually they have to be paid back. My fiancee is supporting us both through whatever contract positions she is able to find, but even so we barely break even paying back debt and living as cheaply as we can.
Since my dad killed himself when I was in high school my mother and I have struggled with poverty, however I've never been THIS much in debt and so unable to find any work! I thought that going to college to study an 'in demand field' would benefit me, not worsen everything for me.
The advice my college's career services has given me is to send this gift boxes to potential employers to help them notice me. How can I possibly afford that?!
Overall I spend a lot of my day crying and applying to jobs. Seeing as how I will be dirt poor for the foreseeable future, how do I keep some sense of sanity through all this?
This doesn't answer your question directly about dealing with not having money, but as far as actually getting interviews goes: sending gift boxes is, just, a stunningly bad idea for so many reasons. Coming from a career services center that's bordering on malpractice. Don't worry about not being able to afford it, I can barely wrap my head around how bad an idea it is
I highly recommend reading the Ask A Manager blog's material on cover letters, resumes, and job-hunting in general. It's great stuff from someone who actually knows the field.
Also, I'm a software engineer; if you're interested in some feedback and workshopping from someone in the field (though not a hiring manager) you're welcome to memail me your resume.
posted by Itaxpica at 12:11 PM on April 7, 2016 [46 favorites]
I highly recommend reading the Ask A Manager blog's material on cover letters, resumes, and job-hunting in general. It's great stuff from someone who actually knows the field.
Also, I'm a software engineer; if you're interested in some feedback and workshopping from someone in the field (though not a hiring manager) you're welcome to memail me your resume.
posted by Itaxpica at 12:11 PM on April 7, 2016 [46 favorites]
I temped between the:end of my last class and getting a regular job; I agree this is the best course of action.
The gift box thing is insane; I'd be deeply concerned about working for an employer who liked getting gifts from potential recruits.
posted by SMPA at 12:13 PM on April 7, 2016 [10 favorites]
The gift box thing is insane; I'd be deeply concerned about working for an employer who liked getting gifts from potential recruits.
posted by SMPA at 12:13 PM on April 7, 2016 [10 favorites]
Ok, you career office is giving you TERRIBLE advice. Sending gift boxes is completely crazy. Are you doing in-person networking? This could mean in-person hackathons and project nights, volunteering, whatever. The benefits are threefold: you get out of the house, you're taking action to better your life, and often you get free food as well. You can also do project work and put your code up on github and work on open source projects. I am a software engineer and I have seen people get jobs this way.
Also, have someone who isn't that career office go over your resume, because if they're telling you one crazy thing they might be telling you more crazy things.
Finally, what kinds of skills are companies in your area looking for? If you don't have them, can you get them? Build a project using whatever framework or language your target company is using.
You can do this.
posted by mskyle at 12:17 PM on April 7, 2016 [17 favorites]
Also, have someone who isn't that career office go over your resume, because if they're telling you one crazy thing they might be telling you more crazy things.
Finally, what kinds of skills are companies in your area looking for? If you don't have them, can you get them? Build a project using whatever framework or language your target company is using.
You can do this.
posted by mskyle at 12:17 PM on April 7, 2016 [17 favorites]
I'm not sure where you are, but have you considered looking for internships (or did you have internships during school)? Lots of tech companies pay their interns very well, and it's easier to get hired as an intern than a full-time employee. Plus it gives you real on-the job experience. Depending on the companies you're applying to, you may be competing with other new graduates who have several internships under their belts. I'm not sure of the details on eligibility for someone who has already graduated, but I think I've heard of companies hiring interns in that situation.
posted by primethyme at 12:22 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by primethyme at 12:22 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
In a lot of companies, there are actually ethics codes against accepting gifts from anyone, for any reason. If you send someone a gift box you could be putting them into a very uncomfortable position, and you don't want them to think of you as "that jerk who got me in trouble with compliance" if you want them to hire you.
Don't do the gift box. Go with the temp agency. (That's how I got the job I'm in now.) Good luck.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:33 PM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
Don't do the gift box. Go with the temp agency. (That's how I got the job I'm in now.) Good luck.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:33 PM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
With the gift-box advice, I'm genuinely worried about your school and whether you got what you paid for. Is it a for-profit school?
Plan to apply for whatever income-driven federal student loan repayment plan you qualify for, starting at https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/repay-loans/understand/plans/income-driven. You won't need to do so until you're out of your loans' grace period, if they have one. If you're unmarried and have no income, you may well not have to pay anything at all on your federal loans (this doesn't affect any private loans) until your situation improves. (By the way, googling for information on this may lead to companies that claim to provide "debt relief." Do not engage with them. You can apply for a repayment plan online and for free at the Dept of Education website. You do not need to pay anyone any money to do so, nor should you.)
posted by praemunire at 12:35 PM on April 7, 2016 [10 favorites]
Plan to apply for whatever income-driven federal student loan repayment plan you qualify for, starting at https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/repay-loans/understand/plans/income-driven. You won't need to do so until you're out of your loans' grace period, if they have one. If you're unmarried and have no income, you may well not have to pay anything at all on your federal loans (this doesn't affect any private loans) until your situation improves. (By the way, googling for information on this may lead to companies that claim to provide "debt relief." Do not engage with them. You can apply for a repayment plan online and for free at the Dept of Education website. You do not need to pay anyone any money to do so, nor should you.)
posted by praemunire at 12:35 PM on April 7, 2016 [10 favorites]
Here are my ideas:
1. Have one of us review your resume. I do it for a lot of mefites, hit me up on memail if you want my address and you can send me your resume and cover letter.
2. Tell us the kinds of jobs you're targeting and the area you want to be in. Is it programming, networking...?
3. Get any old job for now. It's summer so get a typical summer job. Anything to get up, out and bringing some money in. Serving and bartending are great because it leaves your days free to interview.
4. If you're not working make sure your house is spotless and a healthy dinner is on the table when your fiancée gets home. When I was supporting Husbunny in school, that was our deal. It's a self-esteem thing and resentment protection. Basically, if you can't contribute financially, you do the heavy lifting on the chores. This can get re-balanced once you're on the way to working regularly.
5. Stop going to your career center, if that's the caliber of advice they are giving you, they are actually harming your chances of getting a job.
I have a fantastic resume and I had to put out about 100 of them before I got my current job. That's just the way it is. If you've sent out 6, yeah, zero answers is about right.
But seriously, I'll review your resume and re-write it if you need it.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 12:39 PM on April 7, 2016 [18 favorites]
1. Have one of us review your resume. I do it for a lot of mefites, hit me up on memail if you want my address and you can send me your resume and cover letter.
2. Tell us the kinds of jobs you're targeting and the area you want to be in. Is it programming, networking...?
3. Get any old job for now. It's summer so get a typical summer job. Anything to get up, out and bringing some money in. Serving and bartending are great because it leaves your days free to interview.
4. If you're not working make sure your house is spotless and a healthy dinner is on the table when your fiancée gets home. When I was supporting Husbunny in school, that was our deal. It's a self-esteem thing and resentment protection. Basically, if you can't contribute financially, you do the heavy lifting on the chores. This can get re-balanced once you're on the way to working regularly.
5. Stop going to your career center, if that's the caliber of advice they are giving you, they are actually harming your chances of getting a job.
I have a fantastic resume and I had to put out about 100 of them before I got my current job. That's just the way it is. If you've sent out 6, yeah, zero answers is about right.
But seriously, I'll review your resume and re-write it if you need it.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 12:39 PM on April 7, 2016 [18 favorites]
What geographic area are you looking in? What type of jobs have you been applying for?
The advice my college's career services has given me is to send this gift boxes to potential employers to help them notice me.
That would be really awkward IMO.
Despite having an impeccable resume
This will sound harsh - it's not said to be mean, just to give you an employer's perspective. You don't have an impeccable resume, you have one year of classes from what I'm guessing is a for-profit school (based on the amount of debt) and some experience in an unrelated field. The for-profits are very good about overexaggerating the employment prospects of their students. You're competing against people with four year degrees for entry level jobs in many cases - you're not going to stick out in a good way against them. This is not to say that all is lost.
You need to establish additional forms of credibility. Do you have a personal GitHub? Build a CRUD website and put the code for it on GitHub. Find open source projects that need help and write code and documentation for them. To get a job, you have to demonstrate that you can do the work (or that you're teachable) - right now your resume doesn't do that.
Is the a local LUG? Go to it, meet people, network, help with people's projects. There's other similar technical meetups in most cities - find ones you're interested in and go to them. Knowing people will help get you interviews and jobs. Go to local conferences. Make sure you've got a good LinkedIn profile set up and connect with people.
Find recruiting firms that specialize in placing technical people and sign up with them. They'll have fairly meager offerings with your current skill level but they can also open doors that you might not even be aware exist. Sign up with temp agencies. Look for computer support positions that will give you the opportunity to work your way up. You've said in the past that you've written professionally - look for tech writing positions.
And get your resume looked at - if you're still trying to be unique with it (per a prior Ask), don't. Most employers are just scanning them (if they're not getting them in electronic format anyway) at this point, so if they are out of the ordinary, that's enough to get them tossed.
posted by Candleman at 12:42 PM on April 7, 2016 [13 favorites]
The advice my college's career services has given me is to send this gift boxes to potential employers to help them notice me.
That would be really awkward IMO.
Despite having an impeccable resume
This will sound harsh - it's not said to be mean, just to give you an employer's perspective. You don't have an impeccable resume, you have one year of classes from what I'm guessing is a for-profit school (based on the amount of debt) and some experience in an unrelated field. The for-profits are very good about overexaggerating the employment prospects of their students. You're competing against people with four year degrees for entry level jobs in many cases - you're not going to stick out in a good way against them. This is not to say that all is lost.
You need to establish additional forms of credibility. Do you have a personal GitHub? Build a CRUD website and put the code for it on GitHub. Find open source projects that need help and write code and documentation for them. To get a job, you have to demonstrate that you can do the work (or that you're teachable) - right now your resume doesn't do that.
Is the a local LUG? Go to it, meet people, network, help with people's projects. There's other similar technical meetups in most cities - find ones you're interested in and go to them. Knowing people will help get you interviews and jobs. Go to local conferences. Make sure you've got a good LinkedIn profile set up and connect with people.
Find recruiting firms that specialize in placing technical people and sign up with them. They'll have fairly meager offerings with your current skill level but they can also open doors that you might not even be aware exist. Sign up with temp agencies. Look for computer support positions that will give you the opportunity to work your way up. You've said in the past that you've written professionally - look for tech writing positions.
And get your resume looked at - if you're still trying to be unique with it (per a prior Ask), don't. Most employers are just scanning them (if they're not getting them in electronic format anyway) at this point, so if they are out of the ordinary, that's enough to get them tossed.
posted by Candleman at 12:42 PM on April 7, 2016 [13 favorites]
You are in a tough spot. I have some idea what it is like. I graduated into a recession, I found a job and we moved to a new, more expensive city. The city was more expensive than we'd estimated, and my then girlfriend had trouble finding a job, and started sinking into depression. Meanwhile, my father was in the final years of drinking himself to death. I felt pretty helpless and hopeless.
I hung on though, and eventually, things started getting better. I've had other dark times though.
This may sound stupid, but I've found that when I don't know what to do that could possibly matter, the best thing is to just do something new, anything (well, anything that isn't self-destructive). Then do something else new. Keep doing it. In my experience, eventually I start seeing things I can and should do that I feel confident will improve my situation. It works because each new thing incrementally changes your perspective, until you can see things you were't seeing before.
You've already made some steps. You talked to your career office. Their advice didn't sound very good to you (or to me), so you did something else, and posted your ask here.
What kind of work experience, of any sort, do you have?
Were you able to do any industry internships?
Did you do any group projects?
Do you have connections, however tenuous, to any classmates? Where are they working?
Where do you live now? What, if anything, stands in the way of relocating.
Network like your life depends on it. Almost everyone needs to make a living, there is no shame in pursuing that goal. If someone is put off by you contacting them, there will be dozens of others who understand. Just understand, your driving goal in networking isn't to find a job, it is to meet the person who points you to your next job and to keep an eye out for anything you can to help the people you've talked to out along the way. So, when you talk to someone, don't ask them about jobs, ask them who else you can talk to, or where else you should look for the kind of job you are looking for, and be sure to ask if you, as you talk to people, can keep an ear out for anything they need (new employee, business contact, new job, dog groomer, etc).
There are a lot of mediocre computer science programs in the country. You may have gone to one, but that doesn't really matter. There are probably more good programming jobs than there are graduates from good computer science programs. There are certainly more mediocre programming jobs than there are graduates of good computer science programs. At this point, a mediocre programming job will be a HUGE improvement from where you are now and can be a sound step towards getting better jobs in the future.
You'll get there, it just sounds like you need to adjust your approach.
One last thing: Find some way to get therapy/counseling. Even something as simple as a support group. Everyone has emotional shit to deal with. Some can deal with it on their own. Some can get by not dealing with it for a while. You've been handed more than your fair share, so the sooner you start dealing with it, the better you'll be able to deal with it and the less likely you are to pick up more of it. If not for yourself, then for your girlfriend. You are already depending on her for a lot, anything you can do to remove emotional burdens from her and deal with them elsewhere will be good for both of you.
posted by Good Brain at 12:53 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
I hung on though, and eventually, things started getting better. I've had other dark times though.
This may sound stupid, but I've found that when I don't know what to do that could possibly matter, the best thing is to just do something new, anything (well, anything that isn't self-destructive). Then do something else new. Keep doing it. In my experience, eventually I start seeing things I can and should do that I feel confident will improve my situation. It works because each new thing incrementally changes your perspective, until you can see things you were't seeing before.
You've already made some steps. You talked to your career office. Their advice didn't sound very good to you (or to me), so you did something else, and posted your ask here.
What kind of work experience, of any sort, do you have?
Were you able to do any industry internships?
Did you do any group projects?
Do you have connections, however tenuous, to any classmates? Where are they working?
Where do you live now? What, if anything, stands in the way of relocating.
Network like your life depends on it. Almost everyone needs to make a living, there is no shame in pursuing that goal. If someone is put off by you contacting them, there will be dozens of others who understand. Just understand, your driving goal in networking isn't to find a job, it is to meet the person who points you to your next job and to keep an eye out for anything you can to help the people you've talked to out along the way. So, when you talk to someone, don't ask them about jobs, ask them who else you can talk to, or where else you should look for the kind of job you are looking for, and be sure to ask if you, as you talk to people, can keep an ear out for anything they need (new employee, business contact, new job, dog groomer, etc).
There are a lot of mediocre computer science programs in the country. You may have gone to one, but that doesn't really matter. There are probably more good programming jobs than there are graduates from good computer science programs. There are certainly more mediocre programming jobs than there are graduates of good computer science programs. At this point, a mediocre programming job will be a HUGE improvement from where you are now and can be a sound step towards getting better jobs in the future.
You'll get there, it just sounds like you need to adjust your approach.
One last thing: Find some way to get therapy/counseling. Even something as simple as a support group. Everyone has emotional shit to deal with. Some can deal with it on their own. Some can get by not dealing with it for a while. You've been handed more than your fair share, so the sooner you start dealing with it, the better you'll be able to deal with it and the less likely you are to pick up more of it. If not for yourself, then for your girlfriend. You are already depending on her for a lot, anything you can do to remove emotional burdens from her and deal with them elsewhere will be good for both of you.
posted by Good Brain at 12:53 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
I hate to say this but searching for a job for a month is not a long time at all. Being able to cope with uncertainty is a life skill. A lot of people struggle with it, myself included. I don't have a good answer as to how you deal with it specifically besides trying to change the things that you can, accept the things that you can't change and try to stay healthy in the process.
Spending your day alternating between crying and applying for jobs is not healthy. If you're not getting exercise and eating and sleeping relatively well, you should be. Applying for jobs is hard. You need to take care of yourself to do it well. And frankly, if you're unemployed, I'm guessing you have a decent amount of free time, in which case you don't really have an excuse for not getting an appropriate amount of sleep and exercise and eating well. Gyms are expensive but YouTube workout videos are free. Walks outside are free. Volunteering is free and good for your soul.
The gift boxes idea is terrible. I agree that you should check out Ask A Manager. I don't know what kind of jobs you're looking for but try paid internships too. When I was getting started, I worked a paid internship part time and a retail gig part time until I got a full time job in my field.
posted by kat518 at 1:03 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
Spending your day alternating between crying and applying for jobs is not healthy. If you're not getting exercise and eating and sleeping relatively well, you should be. Applying for jobs is hard. You need to take care of yourself to do it well. And frankly, if you're unemployed, I'm guessing you have a decent amount of free time, in which case you don't really have an excuse for not getting an appropriate amount of sleep and exercise and eating well. Gyms are expensive but YouTube workout videos are free. Walks outside are free. Volunteering is free and good for your soul.
The gift boxes idea is terrible. I agree that you should check out Ask A Manager. I don't know what kind of jobs you're looking for but try paid internships too. When I was getting started, I worked a paid internship part time and a retail gig part time until I got a full time job in my field.
posted by kat518 at 1:03 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
I laboured under the misapprehension that resumes and blind applications got you jobs for about six months after I graduated. It's a lie. People you know, particularly people you know from school who can vouch for you, and get your resume seen, get you jobs.
By all means, get people to review your resume, and continue to apply cold. Definitely build sites/contribute to OSS project/etc.
But work every employed contact you have like a rented mule.
posted by Kreiger at 1:12 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
By all means, get people to review your resume, and continue to apply cold. Definitely build sites/contribute to OSS project/etc.
But work every employed contact you have like a rented mule.
posted by Kreiger at 1:12 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
Based on my own experience, I don't know that you will particularly feel good while you are looking for work and worrying about money. I know when I graduated from college and worked a miserable-ass low-paying job for 6 1/2 years in the recession before I got the job I have now, I didn't feel good.
What I did do was apply and apply and apply for jobs until I thought I was going to die. I was rejected over and over again for years. But I just kept going because I had to. I was finally hired into a position that is a good fit for me.
The thing is I had to keep putting one foot in front of the other, one day after another. Perseverance saved my sanity.
Something else that may be helpful is to find someone around you who is having a hard time that you can help. When I have done this in the past, it has reminded me of how fortunate I really am, that I will be okay, and it puts my life into perspective. Just a thought.
You'll make it through this, just maybe not as quickly as you would like. Good luck.
posted by strelitzia at 1:31 PM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
What I did do was apply and apply and apply for jobs until I thought I was going to die. I was rejected over and over again for years. But I just kept going because I had to. I was finally hired into a position that is a good fit for me.
The thing is I had to keep putting one foot in front of the other, one day after another. Perseverance saved my sanity.
Something else that may be helpful is to find someone around you who is having a hard time that you can help. When I have done this in the past, it has reminded me of how fortunate I really am, that I will be okay, and it puts my life into perspective. Just a thought.
You'll make it through this, just maybe not as quickly as you would like. Good luck.
posted by strelitzia at 1:31 PM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
I want to underline Kreiger's advice: network, network, network. Trying to get a job without an in somewhere is really, really hard. Most of the jobs I've gotten after my first one in my career came because people had worked with me already elsewhere. So find some local meet-ups, professional associations, hackathons, and the like.
Starting out is SO. HARD. Don't underestimate the challenge of getting yourself established--it will never be harder than it is now. Be kind to yourself, but also stay disciplined. Attend x networking events a week, spend x hrs looking online, x hrs developing portfolio/demo projects, etc. My dad gave me some great advice when I was laid off a few years ago, speaking from his own experience: treat looking for a job AS your job until you find one. It helped my own mind frame while I was looking.
posted by smirkette at 1:40 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Starting out is SO. HARD. Don't underestimate the challenge of getting yourself established--it will never be harder than it is now. Be kind to yourself, but also stay disciplined. Attend x networking events a week, spend x hrs looking online, x hrs developing portfolio/demo projects, etc. My dad gave me some great advice when I was laid off a few years ago, speaking from his own experience: treat looking for a job AS your job until you find one. It helped my own mind frame while I was looking.
posted by smirkette at 1:40 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Try to get a job as a restaurant server. You will meet tons of people, a lot of them will ask you if you're going to school or something along those lines, and you of course will tell them that you've graduated and are trying to find a job.
Working in a restaurant is the best way I know of to network if you don't have any contacts. People love to help servers rise out of (what they perceive to be) crappy jobs. Try to get a job in a hipster restaurant, as that's where you'll probably find the most tech people, but even Denny's will offer opportunities. People will say things like, "oh, I'm in marketing, but you should try my company, I think we need tech people", and then they will tell you to mention their name.
posted by MexicanYenta at 1:41 PM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
Working in a restaurant is the best way I know of to network if you don't have any contacts. People love to help servers rise out of (what they perceive to be) crappy jobs. Try to get a job in a hipster restaurant, as that's where you'll probably find the most tech people, but even Denny's will offer opportunities. People will say things like, "oh, I'm in marketing, but you should try my company, I think we need tech people", and then they will tell you to mention their name.
posted by MexicanYenta at 1:41 PM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
Please, please do not send gift boxes. Where I work, we can't even accept minimal gifts. This is excruciatingly terrible advice from your school. It makes me sad to read that someone is giving that advice to people who deserve much better guidance.
I don't want to harp on this, but did you go to a for-profit school, a community college or a non-profit? I'm not asking to beat you up, but to determine if there is alumni network that you might be able to tap into for mentoring. Another option is to join a professional association in your field and see if there is a mentoring program for people starting in the field. Ask if there is a student or unemployed membership rate or if you can do service for the organization (checking in members at meetings, printing the agenda, boring crap that needs to be done.)
Job hunting takes time and you need to adjust your mental timeline. Six to 12 months is not unreasonable. I'm sorry because I know that's unwelcome news, but it's true.
Right now, here are some action steps.
1. Have other people read your resume and cover letter. Your school gives crap advice. Get your resume feedback from people who hire. I'm happy to do it, Ruthless Bunny offered too.
2. Accept that job hunting requires face to face and phone interaction. Jobs are very, very rarely filled through online applications alone. You need to interact.
3. Get on LinkedIn and find anyone you know at your target companies. Send them a note and your resume.
4. Find a mentor/coach - school, professional association, someone to serve as your sounding board.
posted by 26.2 at 1:47 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
I don't want to harp on this, but did you go to a for-profit school, a community college or a non-profit? I'm not asking to beat you up, but to determine if there is alumni network that you might be able to tap into for mentoring. Another option is to join a professional association in your field and see if there is a mentoring program for people starting in the field. Ask if there is a student or unemployed membership rate or if you can do service for the organization (checking in members at meetings, printing the agenda, boring crap that needs to be done.)
Job hunting takes time and you need to adjust your mental timeline. Six to 12 months is not unreasonable. I'm sorry because I know that's unwelcome news, but it's true.
Right now, here are some action steps.
1. Have other people read your resume and cover letter. Your school gives crap advice. Get your resume feedback from people who hire. I'm happy to do it, Ruthless Bunny offered too.
2. Accept that job hunting requires face to face and phone interaction. Jobs are very, very rarely filled through online applications alone. You need to interact.
3. Get on LinkedIn and find anyone you know at your target companies. Send them a note and your resume.
4. Find a mentor/coach - school, professional association, someone to serve as your sounding board.
posted by 26.2 at 1:47 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
Re-reading my earlier comment, it comes off a bit drill sergeant-y.
Unemployment after the socially-correct Path To Success of a tech education is a fucked up place to be in. I wasn't a lot of fun to be around while I was looking for jobs. Staying positive isn't really a thing I do, and the daily grind of applications is a big bag of dicks. Don't feel bad for feeling bad about it.
posted by Kreiger at 2:13 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Unemployment after the socially-correct Path To Success of a tech education is a fucked up place to be in. I wasn't a lot of fun to be around while I was looking for jobs. Staying positive isn't really a thing I do, and the daily grind of applications is a big bag of dicks. Don't feel bad for feeling bad about it.
posted by Kreiger at 2:13 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
It's only been a month. You have a great degree. You are going to have a great career, and you are going to pay off your debt. Just relax.
Where do you live? Are there tech companies in your town? Create a list and start calling them up. Ask for the software development manager.
Cold calling is the way to go, not responding to ads. If you say you can't call people up, then just remember your loans. You can do it!
posted by My Dad at 2:28 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Where do you live? Are there tech companies in your town? Create a list and start calling them up. Ask for the software development manager.
Cold calling is the way to go, not responding to ads. If you say you can't call people up, then just remember your loans. You can do it!
posted by My Dad at 2:28 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Exercise (YouTube videos, or a bodyweight book from the library); go out into daylight fairly early every morning; sleep on a regular schedule; floss; keep your space orderly; eat sensible food (lentils and rice and vegetables were my cheap standby); be nice to your fiancee. These are all ways to still feel good during this very hard period of life.
posted by clew at 2:48 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by clew at 2:48 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
On a less career-focused note than my previous response, I have had two more-than-a-month-or-two stretches of unemployment in my life. The first was horrible, mostly because I felt like a failure, and I basically sat around feeling sorry for myself, playing video games, and applying for jobs.
The second was only a couple years later but was actually kind of great, mostly because I felt more hopeful overall (I wasn't really much more financially secure) but also I made it a point to get out and do things (not sure what was cause and what was effect):
- I went to five different Ben & Jerry's on Free Cone Day (I walked, so this is not quite as disgusting as it sounds, although yes it is pretty disgusting)
- I went to free concerts, free days at museums, etc. I went to the library a lot.
- I would bring a blanket and a snack to the park and read a library book.
- I was already volunteering, but I picked up extra shifts (and this actually ended up turning into a fun part-time job that I kept when I was employed again)
- I spent a ton of time outside, mostly just walking around the city (your location may have worse/better/different options)
And this was before I knew about tech networking events and their delicious free foods and beers!
You sound really unhappy, though. If lifestyle stuff like getting outside and getting some exercise doesn't help, consider pursuing therapy or at least working through something like the Feeling Good Handbook.
posted by mskyle at 3:17 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
The second was only a couple years later but was actually kind of great, mostly because I felt more hopeful overall (I wasn't really much more financially secure) but also I made it a point to get out and do things (not sure what was cause and what was effect):
- I went to five different Ben & Jerry's on Free Cone Day (I walked, so this is not quite as disgusting as it sounds, although yes it is pretty disgusting)
- I went to free concerts, free days at museums, etc. I went to the library a lot.
- I would bring a blanket and a snack to the park and read a library book.
- I was already volunteering, but I picked up extra shifts (and this actually ended up turning into a fun part-time job that I kept when I was employed again)
- I spent a ton of time outside, mostly just walking around the city (your location may have worse/better/different options)
And this was before I knew about tech networking events and their delicious free foods and beers!
You sound really unhappy, though. If lifestyle stuff like getting outside and getting some exercise doesn't help, consider pursuing therapy or at least working through something like the Feeling Good Handbook.
posted by mskyle at 3:17 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
Great suggestions above about your job search, so I won't add to that.
However, you sound like you're having a lot of anxiety. Which is TOTALLY normal given your situation. My stomach hurts just thinking about my last period of unemployment. Have you thought about talking to a therapist? There is probably a sliding-scale counseling center in your city. You'd probably feel so much better talking to a professional!
One thing I'll mention - I disagree with My Dad's suggestion to call places. Please don't. It's disruptive and makes you look out of touch with norms. Here's an Ask a Manager about it.
posted by radioamy at 4:51 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
However, you sound like you're having a lot of anxiety. Which is TOTALLY normal given your situation. My stomach hurts just thinking about my last period of unemployment. Have you thought about talking to a therapist? There is probably a sliding-scale counseling center in your city. You'd probably feel so much better talking to a professional!
One thing I'll mention - I disagree with My Dad's suggestion to call places. Please don't. It's disruptive and makes you look out of touch with norms. Here's an Ask a Manager about it.
posted by radioamy at 4:51 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
Also - take Ruthless Bunny up on her offer to review your resume. She always gives great job advice.
posted by radioamy at 4:52 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by radioamy at 4:52 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
I looked at your older posts and I have two additional pieces of advice:
You need a mentor in your field, ideally one who is willing to devote a lot of effort into actually explaining things and who is far more socially adept than you are. This means you need to be going to trade group meetings, professional association meet-and-greets, Wikipedia hackathons, etc. Focus on learning names in the field (personal names, company names, etc.) and introducing yourself to anyone who seems interested in talking with people. Aim for the people who run the meetings and the people who give presentations. Volunteer to help put events on. You want to be known as "capable," "reliable," and "generally nice enough."
I also do not believe you have enough networking/interpersonal skills; you should try devoting a bit of time every day on just learning the "do" and "do not" stuff of acting like a socially competent professional. The good news is that the rules are pretty easy to follow once you know them. It is much easier to "pass" in business than it is in school or romantic relationships, and there is plenty of written material to study from. Dale Carnegie is as good a place to start as any; there are several AskMe questions on the subject of "what should I read to be good at business etiquette" and such.
By the time you have a good mentor and know the rules, you will probably have a "permanent" job. However, you are in an industry that is defined by instability, so it's important to keep expanding and strengthening your network. Again, try for "competent" and "dependable" and "basically nice enough."
You don't need to be exceptional to make this work.
posted by SMPA at 4:57 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
You need a mentor in your field, ideally one who is willing to devote a lot of effort into actually explaining things and who is far more socially adept than you are. This means you need to be going to trade group meetings, professional association meet-and-greets, Wikipedia hackathons, etc. Focus on learning names in the field (personal names, company names, etc.) and introducing yourself to anyone who seems interested in talking with people. Aim for the people who run the meetings and the people who give presentations. Volunteer to help put events on. You want to be known as "capable," "reliable," and "generally nice enough."
I also do not believe you have enough networking/interpersonal skills; you should try devoting a bit of time every day on just learning the "do" and "do not" stuff of acting like a socially competent professional. The good news is that the rules are pretty easy to follow once you know them. It is much easier to "pass" in business than it is in school or romantic relationships, and there is plenty of written material to study from. Dale Carnegie is as good a place to start as any; there are several AskMe questions on the subject of "what should I read to be good at business etiquette" and such.
By the time you have a good mentor and know the rules, you will probably have a "permanent" job. However, you are in an industry that is defined by instability, so it's important to keep expanding and strengthening your network. Again, try for "competent" and "dependable" and "basically nice enough."
You don't need to be exceptional to make this work.
posted by SMPA at 4:57 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
Just nthing the fact that you are most likely to get a foot in the door and an eventual job if you network, terrifying and exhausting though it can be. Showing people who do the job what you can add to their work environments, and winning them over so that they think of you when there are opportunities is vastly more efficient than pestering hiring managers with cold calls or, gah, bribes. SMPA is right on.
posted by gingerest at 6:03 PM on April 7, 2016
posted by gingerest at 6:03 PM on April 7, 2016
My husband is a network engineer, not a software developer, so things are different, but when he was moving up the ladder from an entry-level position (despite having a lot of experience at another company), nothing really happened for him until he got industry-standard certifications. For him, that meant Cisco stuff like a CCNA. I swear, he was plugging away at interviews for months, but once he got his CCNA his supervisor called him over and gave him a promotion. He has sort of alternated certifications and promotions ever since.
You can take certification courses as part of college classes (yes, I know you've got debt), or often through boot camps sponsored by an employer (again, this isn't super helpful to someone who doesn't HAVE a job yet). But you can also easily study for them at home with study guides that are easy to find.
My suggestion, given our experience, is to find an entry-level position at a company that may help you do those things, then work on moving up the ladder. If you don't mind off hours for shift work (if there are opportunities for that), that can give you a good pay differential.
Good luck!
posted by St. Hubbins at 6:34 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
You can take certification courses as part of college classes (yes, I know you've got debt), or often through boot camps sponsored by an employer (again, this isn't super helpful to someone who doesn't HAVE a job yet). But you can also easily study for them at home with study guides that are easy to find.
My suggestion, given our experience, is to find an entry-level position at a company that may help you do those things, then work on moving up the ladder. If you don't mind off hours for shift work (if there are opportunities for that), that can give you a good pay differential.
Good luck!
posted by St. Hubbins at 6:34 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Wait, you graduated a month ago? With an impeccable resume, which implies an impeccable college transcript? Talk to your professors, tell them you need a job! I'm in a much less in-demand field and just doing okay in my classes and making sure that the instructors know me by name resulted in job opportunities (I didn't end up going for them as meanwhile I got my dream job... through networking).
People LOVE to help other people when possible. Take advantage of that.
posted by halogen at 9:04 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
People LOVE to help other people when possible. Take advantage of that.
posted by halogen at 9:04 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
SMPA's advice is important here. The social rules of the workplace are important. They're not some conformist bullshit imposed by the Man...they're there to help hugely different people work effectively together.
To an extent, all of us are faking it at the office. Self-regulating, projecting stability, and staying calm are real skills, and there is likely a sliding-scale therapist near you who can help with those, as others have mentioned.
posted by Kreiger at 9:10 AM on April 8, 2016 [2 favorites]
To an extent, all of us are faking it at the office. Self-regulating, projecting stability, and staying calm are real skills, and there is likely a sliding-scale therapist near you who can help with those, as others have mentioned.
posted by Kreiger at 9:10 AM on April 8, 2016 [2 favorites]
My husband is a network engineer, not a software developer, so things are different, but when he was moving up the ladder from an entry-level position (despite having a lot of experience at another company), nothing really happened for him until he got industry-standard certifications. For him, that meant Cisco stuff like a CCNA.
This varies wildly by field, and so will depend on what it is you want to do. Certifications are super important for network engineering (like St. Hubbins says) and fairly importing for sysadmin/IT-type work, but in software engineering they're generally considered to be not worth the paper they're printed on. If you decide to go the certificate route, you should be sure to have a pretty good idea of what kind of work you want to do and research how important certificates are in that field.
posted by Itaxpica at 9:18 AM on April 8, 2016 [2 favorites]
This varies wildly by field, and so will depend on what it is you want to do. Certifications are super important for network engineering (like St. Hubbins says) and fairly importing for sysadmin/IT-type work, but in software engineering they're generally considered to be not worth the paper they're printed on. If you decide to go the certificate route, you should be sure to have a pretty good idea of what kind of work you want to do and research how important certificates are in that field.
posted by Itaxpica at 9:18 AM on April 8, 2016 [2 favorites]
Do what praemunire says. I did income-based repayment, and my first couple of years out of school, my payments were $0. It's really easy- you can even upload your tax return to the site. You do have to have it re-evaluated every year, so that when you start making more money, your payments will increase. I believe the interest continues to accrue, but it's better than the alternative.
Nthing temp while you continue to look for jobs. Don't work in a restaurant. It'll drain you and you won't have time to look for anything. Hopefully you can find something where you'll be using a computer and can browse job sites when you're between tasks, or at lunch.
Also, sell the textbooks you don't want to keep for reference. That'll give you a little relief, too. Websites like Amazon or half.com give better rates than selling back to the bookstores.
Good luck!
posted by serenity_now at 10:23 AM on April 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
Nthing temp while you continue to look for jobs. Don't work in a restaurant. It'll drain you and you won't have time to look for anything. Hopefully you can find something where you'll be using a computer and can browse job sites when you're between tasks, or at lunch.
Also, sell the textbooks you don't want to keep for reference. That'll give you a little relief, too. Websites like Amazon or half.com give better rates than selling back to the bookstores.
Good luck!
posted by serenity_now at 10:23 AM on April 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
Don't let anyone minimize how hard this is. The financial stress combined with the existential terror & guilt of being unemployed can be about as bad as it gets, even for people who've already been through other things that are about as bad as it gets (which it sounds like you have). Your situation SUCKS. Don't beat yourself up on top of that for crying. Maybe you need to cry now. Maybe it's helping you with stress relief. You're still applying and still looking and still trying, that's the important thing.
One thing I try to keep in mind, that I'm sure I read somewhere, is the idea that it doesn't matter how fast or slow you are moving, and in some ways even if you are moving backwards, as long as you're facing the right direction.
Try to be very deliberate about a couple of things you do every day that are in line with your hopes and values, and let yourself feel good that day when you do them, even if everything is still terrible in so many ways.
Don't feel guilty for not keeping the house impeccable and the meals perfect 'just because' you're unemployed. That works for some people and cleaning and taking care of your space can be acts of self-care that also help improve your mood and state of being. But it may make more sense to aim for something much less ambitious.
Some days there may be nothing to do but keep telling yourself, "This, too, shall pass," whether or not you can bring yourself to believe it. That's okay. This too shall pass.
Is it possible to feel good while going through this? I don't know. I think maybe for some people it is and for some people it isn't. That's okay too. For me some things that helped were having friends and peers that were in the same boat as I was (as opposed to some wonderful people who didn't deserve to feel like a thorn in my side just because it felt like they were inhabiting a completely different world). Misery loves company is often said as a bad thing, but a shared plight can be a lot easier to bear than a lonely one, and can ease some of the stigma/status-anxiety side effects of unemployment/poverty.
Sending you good thoughts {}.
posted by Salamandrous at 4:44 PM on April 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
One thing I try to keep in mind, that I'm sure I read somewhere, is the idea that it doesn't matter how fast or slow you are moving, and in some ways even if you are moving backwards, as long as you're facing the right direction.
Try to be very deliberate about a couple of things you do every day that are in line with your hopes and values, and let yourself feel good that day when you do them, even if everything is still terrible in so many ways.
Don't feel guilty for not keeping the house impeccable and the meals perfect 'just because' you're unemployed. That works for some people and cleaning and taking care of your space can be acts of self-care that also help improve your mood and state of being. But it may make more sense to aim for something much less ambitious.
Some days there may be nothing to do but keep telling yourself, "This, too, shall pass," whether or not you can bring yourself to believe it. That's okay. This too shall pass.
Is it possible to feel good while going through this? I don't know. I think maybe for some people it is and for some people it isn't. That's okay too. For me some things that helped were having friends and peers that were in the same boat as I was (as opposed to some wonderful people who didn't deserve to feel like a thorn in my side just because it felt like they were inhabiting a completely different world). Misery loves company is often said as a bad thing, but a shared plight can be a lot easier to bear than a lonely one, and can ease some of the stigma/status-anxiety side effects of unemployment/poverty.
Sending you good thoughts {}.
posted by Salamandrous at 4:44 PM on April 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
You may have to do what a lot of people are doing right now- humbling themselves and working whatever jobs are available to them. I have a friend with a masters who's working on an assembly line in a factory while they wait for a job in their field to present itself. The way they put it, at least they're putting food on the table and they're making a living. $25 an hour in a factory is good enough when you're unemployed and all the pressure is on your partner to provide. Get a job, any job, and keep applying for and interviewing for the job you want. Do what you have to do to survive. Personally I would not stay with a partner who preferred to sulk at home instead of taking a job somewhere that they thought was beneath them. As for your student loan re-payments, there are options. You can apply for a deferment, which will postpone your payments for a matter of months to a year, or various options mentioned above. Your situation isn't hopeless, but it's time to get moving. Any job will do while you wait and apply for your desired position.
posted by Avosunspin at 12:55 AM on April 10, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Avosunspin at 12:55 AM on April 10, 2016 [1 favorite]
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Send them your resume, write a super friendly little blurb in your email about how excited you are about working with them.
Give them 24 hours to respond to your email.
Then call them and follow up.
Do not quit until someone is talking to you.
Search for a "real job" while you temp, and tell your temp agency that you're interested in temp-to-perm arrangements should they arise.
Job hunting fucking blows; I really like going through temp agencies because it gives you someone working on your side--they get paid when you get paid.
Good luck!
posted by phunniemee at 12:07 PM on April 7, 2016 [9 favorites]