Should I Drink?

December 20, 2005 4:39 PM

Should I Drink?

I am an 18 year old college student, living in the dorms at a large state university. I've never had more than a swallow of alcohol, and it was the obligatory "taste of Dad's beer at Christmas" offering. I have no real aversion to alcohol or people who drink socially, there is no history of alcoholism in my family, and I don't abstain from booze for any religious or moral reasons in particular. It's just never really been something I've been interested in, and the fact that I'm still not of drinking age (21 in this state) has made it not much of an issue until now.

Now I'm entering the second quarter of my freshman year at a big state school and loving it -- but the alcohol thing is coming up again. Even if I don't go to a frat party (which I have little inclination to do), there are social situations where alcohol can be present, and I end up usually opting out (for instance, over Thanksgiving I was planning on meeting up with a good high school friend but when I realized that he was going to have some beers around, I chickened out).

Is this rational? I realize that it sounds an awful lot like I'm asking, "should I cave in to peer pressure?", but I don't think that I am.

(Also, FWIW, I'd never drink in a situation where I'd have to drive shortly thereafter; all hypothetical alcohol consumption would be in the dorms, or at a house where I'd be for long enough to sleep off any effects).

posted by anonymous to human relations (65 comments total)

Use your judgement. A number of college students are still in the "drink to pass out" phase, as opposed to having a nip or two and being content with that. Following along just to be sociable could leave you unsatisfied.
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:56 PM on December 20, 2005

Yes.
posted by u2604ab at 4:57 PM on December 20, 2005

You shouldn't avoid activites just because everyone else will be drinking. It's my understanding that people will not stop in the middle of party to expose you as a teetotaler. If you don't make an issue of it, no one else will.
posted by phrontist at 4:57 PM on December 20, 2005

I totally understand your situation, Anonymous- I didn't drink all throughout high school and college. And it was weird when I finally started- it's not just the act that's weird, it's the doing it front of people who already know you don't drink. If you want to start, I say go ahead- I waited until I was 21, and was always so nervous about it, and in retrospect, why did I worry so much over nothing? You can start small- in fact, you probably should, because your tolerance is probably pretty low (I'm a lightweight).
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:58 PM on December 20, 2005 [2 favorites]

If you don't want to drink, don't drink. Recreational drugs of all kinds can be fun, can lead to other experiences, and can loosen your inhibitions to make you more comfortable. They can also be addictive in various ways, and have other negative consequences. People have had their lives ruined from substance abuse, but not everyone who does them, and maybe you will ruin yours and maybe you won't.

That doesn't sound like much of an answer, I'm sure, but if you don't see the point, don't bother. There's nothing wrong with not drinking, but be aware that you may be missing out on some things you wouldn't otherwise do, and be aware that those things may be either positive or negative and you have no way to know until you try.
posted by Caviar at 4:59 PM on December 20, 2005

(Oh, and as a stipulation of my Belgian citizenship, I must, at this juncture, point out that you are better off drinking carbonated bilgewater and rubbing alchohol than that unspeakably vile filth that passes as "beer" in the USA.)
posted by phrontist at 4:59 PM on December 20, 2005

I wouldn't not go to things just because there is alcohol around - you can go and not drink, and anyone who pressures or ridicules/harasses you about it is being a bit of a jerk.

That said, having a few drinks is not a big deal - Just set your own pace, and don't try to "keep up" with anyone else. If you are mixing drinks, avoid free-pouring - use a shot glass so you can actually keep track of how much you're drinking.
posted by davey_darling at 5:00 PM on December 20, 2005

My boyfriend had his first drink when he was 23. He abstained for the same reasons as you -- no history of alcoholism or moral/religious reasons...just wasn't interested. When he finally did drink, he found a) a love for beer and b) that being drunk wasn't everything he had built it up to be. I think if you want to drink, drink. You don't have to get smashingly drunk when you do, but if you feel like having a beer or a cocktail or whatever, then go ahead. You can at least have a drink or two to see what the fuss is about, and then decide from there whether you want to continue or not.

On the other hand, certainly don't drink if it doesn't interest you. It was always annoying for my boyfriend to have people give him the, "WHAT! YOU DON'T WANT A DRINK? WHY?" speech, especially in school where people are more apt to pressure you. But if you handle it casually, and just tell people you're not interested, they'll get used to it.

In the end, if you don't have a history of alcoholism and don't feel like you're becoming an alcoholic, drinking's no big deal. It can be a chance to relax a little and discover new beverages, but otherwise, just take it as it comes.
posted by Zosia Blue at 5:00 PM on December 20, 2005

Do what feels right, but don't be afraid of alcohol. Perhaps a few nights with friends in front of a DVD would be the setting to have some drinks and see how it goes. I would advise against drinking alcohol at any type of party if you have never had it before - 1 will soon turn into 20 and it will not end well.
posted by fire&wings at 5:00 PM on December 20, 2005

I didn't drink in college until I was 22 and then only once. I didn't really enjoy the feeling or the inclination to idiocy, although it was instructive to me to learn that my moral compass worked just fine while drunk. I always found drunk people tiresome, but didn't mind parties too much if there was dancing. It didn't hurt my social life at all, IMHO, and it's not a bad thing if there's a sober person or two around while everyone else is knackered.

I did get used to being surrounded by alcohol very quickly though, and didn't have any trouble firmly declining anything pressed upon me. This was not really an issue at all though.
posted by ursus_comiter at 5:01 PM on December 20, 2005

Just do it. If you like, do it alone or only with people you really like. It's not like getting wasted once is going to hurt you at all, and after you've done it once, you won't have to be asking the goddamn internet for advice on whether or not to do it again.
posted by rxrfrx at 5:01 PM on December 20, 2005

I say if you don't want to, don't. I could have saved TONS of cash over the years if I'd never indulged in the first place.

For me this question is similar to the "should I smoke?" question that comes up for me at least once a year. I've never smoked cigarettes or otherwise. Every once in a blue moon something comes up and I wonder if maybe I should try it. I've gotten along these 35 years without, why start now?

But you shouldn't avoid parties and the like just because there's booze there. Heck, you might wind up being quite popular with your Designated Driver status. Of course that could get old really quick for you.
posted by FlamingBore at 5:02 PM on December 20, 2005

I have never had a drink. I was brought up religious and had huge moral qualms about any alcohol period. It took me a long time to even accept my friends' drinking, but that's another story.

I mostly don't drink now (as a college senior) because there seems no reason to. Every once in a while when I'm at a party or a bar with friends I think, I could just go ahead and order a drink, but why would I? I have no objections to it (moral or otherwise) but any given night I ask myself: sure, I could start drinking, but why start tonight?

There is no shame in hanging out with people who are drinking and not having a drink of your own. (You don't really elaborate on why you don't hang out with your high school friend — if he's a decent sort of guy he won't think twice about you not having a beer yourself.) Once you and your friends hit 21, your abstinence will actually become an asset: everyone's looking for a designated driver, and — once in a blue moon — you'll even find a bar that gives soda way for free to encourage this.

But, if you want to try out drinking, there's no reason not to do it, either. Do what you like. It's really not that big a deal.
posted by rafter at 5:03 PM on December 20, 2005

First off, as you go thru the University, its going to be everywhere. So whether you drink or not, you'll need to get used to it.

I grew up in a very alcohol-oriented family, we generally drink after work, when two or more of us gather together, when we call each other on the phone, etc. I have never seen it get abusive or nasty, but I can see from experience just how one could lose control of alcohol.

Most people your age are drinking because it immobilizes inhibitions and, quite frankly, makes you feel pretty darn good (until the next morning -- hangovers are *awful*). So the question I would ask myself if I were in your shoes, knowing what I know now would be:

"Do I want to feel funky and fun? Do I need a chemical to allow me to get past my inhibitions? and What does a tongue made of cotton within a head being pounded with a jackhammer taste like when I wake up the next morning?"
posted by iurodivii at 5:03 PM on December 20, 2005

I didn't drink until I was almost 30. If you can, I recommend you avoid it while you're young, but I have no real reason to reccommend it except that I think it builds character to deny yourself it, especially if you're surrounded by the stuff (as one often is in college), while simultaneously observing those who indulge and asking yourself why you're avoiding it. Others will cry bullocks. (No, really, they'll do it later in the thread.)
posted by dobbs at 5:03 PM on December 20, 2005

I was exactly the same when I started college, to the point where I was skipping cast parties and such because I heard there was going to be a keg - horrors! - and chickened out. It wasn't til a year or so later that I finally got over myself and realized what I'd missed out on. And don't get discouraged if you find you can't stomach Natty Light; there are much better beers (and cocktails, and wines, and spirits...) on the horizon. Just don't let it be an excuse to hide in your dorm room.
posted by web-goddess at 5:03 PM on December 20, 2005

Is it possible for you to drink something non-alcoholic when in these situations? Or to claim a bad drug interaction with a prescription?
posted by QIbHom at 5:04 PM on December 20, 2005

If you don't want to drink - DON'T. Particularly since it is still illegal for you to do so at this time. As far as being around others who are drinking: be careful. There are many Bad Things that happen as a direct result of alcohol, and being present during same can make you uncomfortable, disgusted, or even (worst case) witness to a crime. I'm not trying to bring back Prohibition...but the single biggest problems I've seen among people 18-24 years old (roughly) are usually alcohol-related. IMO, it's always better to decline offers to drink alcohol, and be very alert and careful when you are around people are drinking more than casually. Good luck.
posted by davidmsc at 5:05 PM on December 20, 2005

a) don't waste your college years drinking. b) don't waste your college years avoiding social settings where there may be alcohol just because you don't drink. c) it's ok to avoid frat parties.
posted by 3.2.3 at 5:16 PM on December 20, 2005

Drinking, as with all things, is best done in moderation. Should you decide to have that first drink then please:

- Do it in the presence of trusted friends.
- Make it something good. Real good. Not cheap beer and not anything too strong.
- Have a witty toast prepared in advance to impress everyone.
- Stop after the first drink as your tolerance will be incredibly low.
- Stop drinking altogether if it isn't something you like. Then you can always say you did it and didn't enjoy it.

Life goes on either way. Do what you want.
posted by quadog at 5:20 PM on December 20, 2005

Just do it, and do it responsibly. Alcohol isn't a big deal when it's not abused, and the idea of trying to isolate yourself from parties involving alcohol is silly; you're only hurting your own social life, at a point in your life where you have opportunities like never before (and never will again) to try out various social niches and see where you fit in.

As long as you stay aware of your limits, and don't fall into the binge drinking traditions of some college kids, alcohol is harmless, and the 'drinking responsibly' thing lets you keep any moral high ground you're trying to keep without completely denying yourself of a social life.
posted by sirion at 5:26 PM on December 20, 2005

College drinkers are, as a rule, the very definition of irresponsible consumption. So you should definitely not base your decision on the social landscape around you.

The purpose of drinking alcohol is to lose control over actions and emotions to some degree. Some people believe that alcohol can also absolve them of responsibility for their actions, but really nothing could be further from the truth.

I personally didn't drink until I was 21, and didn't have any problems with it in my social life. People don't ask you any questions if you're holding a plastic cup at a party, and if the subject ever comes up, non-jerks will respect you for abstaining.
posted by breath at 5:28 PM on December 20, 2005

Simply, drink only if you feel like it. You should not feel under pressure to drink just because there will be alcohol there.

I drink quite regularly (although as phrontist said none of that USian bilgewater!) but can still enjoy going out and abstaining from alcohol. Someone might ask if i want a drink, but a simple "no, not tonight" is enough for them.

Don't stress out over it, it's up to you. I would say don't yield to peer pressure, but decide on your own.
posted by knapah at 5:31 PM on December 20, 2005

I'll differ with the people that say don't start drinking when you're young. If you want to drink and think you can be responsible, drink while you're in college, when you don't necessarily have to be up early in the morning and when the hangovers will be relatively painless. Drinking at parties when you're out of school just isn't the same. Yeah, a lot of stupid things happen at college parties, but if you're with friends and people you trust, a lot of great stories will come out of the social situations you mentioned avoiding. (Not to say you have to drink to have those great stories.)
posted by Zosia Blue at 5:32 PM on December 20, 2005

Is there any history of alcohol abuse in your family? There may be a genetic predisposition to alcohol addiction, and if it is evident in your family history, you might weigh that factor.
posted by Triode at 5:33 PM on December 20, 2005

I would suggest ice cold St. Pauli Girl, at home with pleasant company, when nobody has to drive. Maybe you'll enjoy the beer, maybe you won't, but at least you will know whether you enjoy good beer or not. Nobody else can tell you that.
posted by FredsinPa at 5:33 PM on December 20, 2005

The fact that you're willing to think about it rather than just do it because other people are is good. This is an attitude that will serve you well.

Drink, or don't. It's okay if you don't. Having an occasional drink at 18 is not going to doom you to a life of fortified wine in a paper bag, either - in other places, teenagers are allowed to drink and it's socially acceptable, and some of them go through their idiot period with it, and some don't.

There was another thread recently about being a non-drinker at a boozy party, and the consensus was that really, people don't care. That may not apply with your peer group, as the shine probably hasn't worn off the Bud can yet, but it's not going to hurt them to be exposed to a "no, thank you" now and then.

As someone who drank badly and also casually in her late teens (my first exposure to sharing a beer with dinner came at 16, in one of those more permissive societies), I say do it if you want, but be a beer snob and enjoy an occasional beer (or nice glass of wine), and skip the "split a case of Beast and puke in the bushes" phase. Except maybe once, but save it until you're 21.
posted by Lyn Never at 5:33 PM on December 20, 2005

It's not that a big deal. Some people seem to take great pride for not drinking, but you'll get that from anyone. Just pick a weekend and do it, buy a light beer and drink at a pace your comfortable with. I would recommend against doing it in a competitive drinking setting. Your judgement will be off the first time you do it (think loud jerk kind of way), your friends will find it endearing and strangers will not -- do it with friends. People get really shitfaced so they don't have to be responsible for their actions and because it feels good. If you're asking this question you don't have this kind of mentality. It's just another pleasure that life has to offer that yes can be abused, but I find it silly when people refuse to drink because "Why would I want to become an idiot?" Geeze how misanthropic. It's not a life transcending experience.
posted by geoff. at 5:39 PM on December 20, 2005

Wow, well don't let all my typos and poorly constructed sentences drive your decision.
posted by geoff. at 5:39 PM on December 20, 2005

I'm 30, and only felt the effects of alcohol on my brain for the first time within the last year. I recommend light drinking. Alcohol has become a smaller part of my life since I started drinking it than it was when I didn't. Like you, it doesn't interest me much, so this is a beneficial change. :D

If one of your friends says "I didn't think you drank" you should rip off Weird Al's "Yeah, but I've been meaning to start" line from UHF.
posted by aubilenon at 5:40 PM on December 20, 2005

College is where folks can experiment with drinking. If you drink more than a drink or two at one sitting, you will discover that alcohol has certain effects on your central nervous system. It produces a relaxed, pleasant feeling that most folks experience as mildly euphoric; it impairs your good judgment; it makes you pee; and in greater amounts it causes you to slur your words, fall down, and black out.

Some folks, myself included, will tell you that beer and wine taste good and complement certain kinds of food; other folks will rave about hard liquor, which is a taste I never acquired.

It is completely acceptable never to drink any alcohol at all, and it is impolite for others to find fault with that decision. Good arguments against alcohol include that it is a habit forming substance that is frequently abused, it is toxic to most organs, and it causes terrible medical problems including depression, certain cancers, epilepsy, heart disease and stroke if you are immoderate.

However, if you are of a mind to experiment and learn how your body deals with it, college is a good time. It is almost inconceivable that, as a college freshman, you would not have made one or two friends who are already experienced with alcohol. If you are indeed of a mind to experiment, ask your friends, if they wouldn't mind spending an evening with you, doing a little drinking, and guiding you through the process of learning about what is good to drink and what happens afterwards.

If you experiment with drinking immoderately, put a liter of water under your pillow and another by your bedside, where you WILL NOT forget to drink it before falling asleep.
posted by ikkyu2 at 5:43 PM on December 20, 2005

i am in your exact same situation, anonymous (except i'm a sophomore :) ). i don't really care about it on any sort of moral ground... i just don't really feel like i need to drink.

most of my high-school friends drink these days and i find i can interact with them perfectly fine without being intoxicated too. for the most part, anyway. i think that i should be able to have just as good a time without any sort of outside stimulus.

a lot of the purpose of alcohol is, like breath said, "to lose control over actions and emotions to some degree"... why?
if it is something stupid-fun, do it even if not drunk. really, do it.
if it is something stupid-stupid, you shouldn't do it anyway. just use your best, non-clouded judgement. (but remember, stupid things can be fun, that's what drunk people "understand" and sober people tend to frown upon)
posted by tysiva at 5:44 PM on December 20, 2005

I've found learning to properly drink takes some skill and time. Unfortunately, in college no one just drinks, they usually binge. I highly recommend just starting slow and learning to feel a good beer buzz coming on and then drinking enough to maintain it. Avoiding drinking games helps a ton and once you know how to keep a good buzz going you won't ever have to worry about being hungover, throwing up, etc. End the night with a tall glass of water and people will wonder how the hell you're able to go drinking every night.
posted by skallas at 6:01 PM on December 20, 2005

there is no history of alcoholism in my family

Well that's good. You have somewhat less to fear from alcohol.

You have three choices:

1) participate in social life where there is often greater-than-zero alcohol consumption going on, don't drink yourself, and be cool with that.

2) try some level of drinking and see if that is more comfortable than avoiding drink

3) seek a social setting where there is zero alcohol consumption, and enjoy that

Each choice has some problems. But right now you are in a limbo where your social life is suffering, you are feeling pressure, you are not drinking but you're not really that happy with not drinking. Shit or get off the pot.
posted by scarabic at 6:03 PM on December 20, 2005

If you do decide to drink:

Drinking is not an innate talent for many people but an acquired skill. Parties are the worst place to acquire that skill. It's too easy to get swept up in the festivities and lose track of time and how much you're drinking. So if you do decide to take up drinking, practice first in comfortable, familiar, safe surroundings with people you can trust. Pay attention to what you're doing and keep track of how much you're drinking and what effect it's having on you. Getting completely shit-faced drunk may have its merits but only when it's a state you've reached intentionally.
posted by TimeFactor at 6:24 PM on December 20, 2005

Go out for pizza with friends, and try a glass of beer or red wine with the food. People in many countries use alcohol in this way and studies even show that a glass with dinner is a healthy thing. You may decide that a little chianti makes a good pizza better, or you may decide you don't like it, but it's an interesting thing to know, and it's not a high-tension environment.
posted by zadcat at 6:31 PM on December 20, 2005

My vote: Drink, or don't drink, but don't avoid social occasions simply because alcohol might be present. For example, a high school friend having beers around over college break sounds like it could be a nice low key evening, whether or not you have anything to drink yourself. On the other hand, it could be a completely unpleasant drunken binge. You won't really know until you go. If it sucks, leave. If not, enjoy yourself. In time you'll probably get a sense for which parties/events will turn into serious no-fun for you based on the people involved and the particular circumstances; nothing wrong with avoiding those.

Oh, phrontist, there is plenty of good/great domestically produced beer in the the US, if you haven't found it, maybe you are looking in the wrong places, or worse.
posted by Good Brain at 6:38 PM on December 20, 2005

Just another data point, I went to plenty of parties when I was in college, everything from frat parties to theatre parties to lan parties, and no one really cared after a couple of seconds that I didn't drink. Although I will tell you, "frat parties" (meaning the obnoxious everyone gets trashed kind, which certainly aren't limited to frats) get pretty damn boring if you aren't drinking though, holy fuck those people need better things to do with their lives.

But yeah, if you don't drink you always have the option to leave. And hell, the opportunities you get to fuck with people...
posted by KirTakat at 6:43 PM on December 20, 2005

KirTakat : ". And hell, the opportunities you get to fuck with people..."

Inquiring minds would like to follow this clue into the mysterious ways of the American frat boy mind: As opposed to fuck with what exactly?

As for drinking, please, waste yourself. At least a little. While you're young. So, when you get old and boring and your own daughter gets home wasted, you will know what is happening and what to do besides freaking out and grounding her for life.
posted by nkyad at 7:05 PM on December 20, 2005

Be aware that many states have special DUI provisions for persons under 21 years old. In California, drivers under 21 will receive a 1 year license suspension for a blood alcohol level of 0.01%. Additional criminal penalties kick in at 0.05%. These limits are much stricter than the usual DUI threshold of 0.08%. A single beer could put you over 0.01%.

Keep in mind that DUI laws are highly politicized in the US. And since you're at "a big state school", expect particularly strong enforcement. Also, a DUI might trigger disciplinary action from the school.

Personally, I don't agree with many of these laws. The one year license suspension for 0.01% is particularly unjust.

Given these harsh penalties, perhaps you should stick to pot until you're old enough to drink?
posted by ryanrs at 7:06 PM on December 20, 2005

ryanrs, wouldn't it be a bit simpler and saner just not driving after drinking?
posted by nkyad at 7:20 PM on December 20, 2005

Of the answers so far, skallas' is the one I identify with most. I think what I generally identify as "drunk" would likely qualify as "maintaining a good buzz." It feels great while you've got it, and the next day you continue to feel great 'cause you don't have a hangover like everyone else. This is the way to go.

Personally, I didn't start drinking until several months after I turned 21. I'd spent the first 2.5 years of college resenting drinkers and generally being altogether too judgmental towards the entire drinking endeavor, partially because I was engaged to a guy who was hugely against it and was very proud of that fact.

As it turned out, I had my first real drink at a celebration at a local bar/grill, and ended up standing around nursing the same [complimentary] Guinness for several hours 'cause I didn't know what effect drinking a bit more would have on me. (When I started actually drinking about a month later, I realized how foolish I'd been—my tolerance turned out to be a good bit higher than I'd imagined right off the bat.)

Looking back on that experience, I wish I'd tried drinking before it came up in a context where I was a guest of honor and drinking a glass or two was expected of me. Sure, there are college students who make the whole endeavor look like a terrible ordeal (many in the Greek system, for instance), but drinking can be very enjoyable when done right!
posted by limeonaire at 8:14 PM on December 20, 2005

I didn't drink during college (until the very end). Whenever I complain about not having sex during college, I'm told that drinking would have solved my problem. There is very nearly consensus on this question (among my friends). I don't know if this is an issue for you, but if it is, I'm telling you now what I wish I had been told then.
posted by jewzilla at 8:25 PM on December 20, 2005

Saying you "chickened out" implies you might be a little afraid of the drink. I know the feeling; I had this big fear that as soon as I touched alcohol, I'd become a raging alcoholic. It never happened; I'm still here today, and I think my liver's even in okay shape. So if you're worried about that sort of thing, know that it's at least not a fear you hold alone, and that chances are you're not going to become an alcoholic.

Aside from that, do what you feel like. If you drink, find your limit and try to stay under it (see, this is why the "drink 'till you puke" behavior at college can actually be helpful; you'll find that limit really quickly). If you don't drink, don't be an arrogant prick about it (it doesn't sound like you would be). Either way, don't go out of your way to avoid events; everyone will understand.
posted by chrominance at 8:29 PM on December 20, 2005

I think you should, but remember, moderation at first!

And don't tell people that you're a booze virgin. That will make them want to booze you up even more, and as you get drunker you'll be less able to say no to the drinks they're pushing on you.

That was one of only two situations that caused me to throw up from drinking (in the other case I only drank a small moderate amount, but I drank it quickly and hadn't eaten all day)
posted by delmoi at 8:48 PM on December 20, 2005

(Oh, and as a stipulation of my Belgian citizenship, I must, at this juncture, point out that you are better off drinking carbonated bilgewater and rubbing alchohol than that unspeakably vile filth that passes as "beer" in the USA.)

Unlike rubbing alcohol, Bud Lite is not poisonous. The only alcohol you want to ingest ethyl alcohol (ethanol) of course. Not isopropyl and definitely not methyl alcohol (methanol) which will get you both drunk and permanently blind.
posted by delmoi at 8:52 PM on December 20, 2005

Drinking nine pints of mediocre beer and passing out on your buddies couch once in a while doesn't really hurt you. Neither does never touching the stuff. The problem comes with alcohol becomes a big deal.

There are two ways to make a "big deal" out of booze. Most of the posters have touched on them.

The first is to be the irresponsible frat boy worshipping a case of crappy beer every other day.
The second is to be the proselytizing teetotaler, lecturing people on the evils of booze.

The truth is that with a sense of responsibility, a bit of a laid-back attitude and a good head on your shoulders, just about any attitude between those two extremes is perfectly healthy and socially acceptable.

Like most of life's pleasures, alcohol can be abused and terrible. It can also be a wonderful thing to indulge in. Just don't worry about a bit of casual drinking as a life-changing or momentous event. It's not. Making a big deal out of it is what makes it worry-inducing or problematic.

(Unless it's a really smooth bottle of chianti. That's like liquid sex, and CAN change lives!)
posted by generichuman at 8:52 PM on December 20, 2005

do what you want ... as a person who was often fairly loaded during his 20s, i can tell you that moderation is probably your best bet ... and that it can be very hard to tell when too much is too much ... (you find out the next morning ... or sooner)

i don't wish that on anyone

i can also tell you that as someone who often wasn't moderate, that around 35 i had one of those awful mornings that lasted all day ... and made up my mind that it would never happen again

i'm 48 now and typically drink 2 to 3 beers every once in awhile ... and never more than 5 or 6

and for god's sake, don't drink light beer ... drink something decent ... something that is brewed in the english or german tradition, not anything you see advertised on tv or radio unless its canadian

of course way back when, the big question was if i should drop that hit of acid ...
posted by pyramid termite at 9:36 PM on December 20, 2005

Yes. Even if you don't drink to the point of intoxication, you're missing out on a world of flavors, some of which you're bound to enjoy.
posted by I Love Tacos at 9:37 PM on December 20, 2005

I'm still underage also, but I had a, um, friend... yeah... a friend who could have asked a very similar question to yours just last year. His decision ended up being to go with the flow, so to speak. He's not an alcoholic, and couldn't stand the taste of liquor for a long time (still can't, actually), but after trying it, he's becoming a really big fan. There are so many different mixers to try, so many different ways to drink, and so many surroundings that drinking will enhance. And being drunk, for a lot of people anyway, is a lot of fun. May not be for you... but it's worth a shot. (Or 2, or 3...)

As long as you're responsible, which it sounds like you are, it's all in good fun. I had a few friends who drunk themselves into losing scholarships or spending a semester at home, and it isn't worth that. Also, people who drink and drive are scum... or at least their behavior is. But my friend above keeps weekday drinks to a minimum and has kept very solid grades and other aspects of life. So just be careful. I, personally, wouldn't drink in a dorm, at least if the enforcement is worth a damn. If it's not, or if you can go off state property... have a blast.
posted by SuperNova at 10:06 PM on December 20, 2005

I'm always surprised by these questions. Me and friends drink socially often, except for the ones who don't. I have friedns who are Mormon and don't drink, friends who are diabetic, one friend who is allergic to alcohol etc. We still hang out, got to bars and parties together and no-one is judging anyone for their choices. Drinking does not make you into another person. It honestly isn't that big of a deal.
posted by fshgrl at 10:43 PM on December 20, 2005

nkyad wrote: ryanrs, wouldn't it be a bit simpler and saner just not driving after drinking?

Anonymous might believe he's clear to drive after drinking a single beer over an hour ago. In California, that is not the case. A BAC over 0.01% will result in a 1 year license suspension. This suspension is an administrative Dept. of Motor Vehicles procedure--not a court trial. Good luck with that.

I ended my post by suggesting Anonymous would be safer smoking marijuana than drinking alcohol. In California, this is absolutely true. Mind you, I'm not talking of impaired driving. A driver under 21 with a BAC of 0.01% is not impaired but will still receive an automatic 1 year suspension. A marijuana DUI, on the other hand, has a much higher burden of proof. First of all, the cop will have to call the paramedics to take a blood sample. Then the state will have to go to a real court--not a DMV hearing--and show actual impairment.

I should mention that a conviction for simple marijuana possession (ie., not a DUI) will also trigger a 1 year license suspension for drivers under 21. But unlike a 0.01% BAC, possession is an actual crime--a misdemeanor. This means that the case can be routed through a Penal Code 1000 drug diversion program instead of the courts. Upon successful completion of the program, the marijuana possession charges will be dismissed. And since the 1 year suspension is contingent on a conviction, it gets thrown out as well.

Just to be clear, I do not think Anonymous should start smoking weed. I simply wanted to point out that driving after drinking a single beer carries harsher penalties than driving with an ounce of weed under the seat.
(in California, if you're under 21, YMMV, IANAL, etc.)

Anonymous: drink, or don't. A couple of beers won't make you cool and abstaining won't make you virtuous. It only seems important because you've never done it before.
posted by ryanrs at 12:45 AM on December 21, 2005

By all means try alcohol but don't go to any great efforts to get into drink. It's really not that amazing.

Alcohol is the hardest drug I've ever tried - and I've tried most narcotics. I only had my first drink of booze two years ago and since then, not for want of trying, my drinking experiences have been largely disappointing.

Booze makes me feel worse, physically, than any other drug I've tried. And unlike some other drugs, booze takes a lot of getting used to: you need to drink a great deal before you start to even bear the taste, let alone enjoy it.

Finally, in my opinion, alcohol is a lot more addictive than many other drugs, and its effects on people are a lot less positive than some other drugs. You're not going to become a boozehound overnight but its easy availability means that most people (at least here in the UK) drink with a regularity which makes it mundane. Shame.
posted by skylar at 2:09 AM on December 21, 2005

By all means try alcohol but don't go to any great efforts to get into drink. It's really not that amazing.

That is subjective and YOUR view point.

I love to drink.. maybe too much.. but I love drinking and some of the best times I have ever had have been with my friends having a good session.
posted by Frasermoo at 4:30 AM on December 21, 2005

... but damn have I paid for it the next day.....
posted by Frasermoo at 4:31 AM on December 21, 2005

It seems like you're expending a lot of effort just avoiding alcohol in general, which is weird to me. Even if you don't want to try it, why would you avoid hanging out with friends or having fun just because alcohol MIGHT be around? To me, that's like a vegan ignoring friends because there MIGHT be beef jerky in the house, and they might actually eat some - crazy.
posted by sluggo at 5:29 AM on December 21, 2005

Don't drink because of peer pressure. In fact, don't do anything because of peer pressure. Don't drink unless you have your own curiosity to try it.

I still find it incredible that the legal drinking age is 21 in many states. That's ridiculously high. I started drinking just before I was 18 (which is the legal age in the UK) and I'd probably have started earlier had I not looked such a young little thing and so been unable to get away with it. I started drinking because I was curious. I carried on drinking because I liked it, a lot. I liked the taste of beer and I loved the feeling of intoxication. We hear far too much about the negative aspects of alcohol and not nearly enough about the positive ones. Alcohol made (and makes) me happy. It made (and makes) my tensions, my nervousness, my shyness and my tendency towards depresson recede. It encourages sociability and fun. It is my balm and my elixir. Probably.

For every tedious, whining alcoholic screw-up I could show you maybe ten or twenty regular drinkers who are perfectly well-balanced, in control of their lives and fun to be around. But that sort of story doesn't go over so well in the papers or on TV, of course.

Is this relevant to your question? I think so, because your question makes it sound like you're sort of afraid of drinking as well as being worried about peer pressure. Man, you shouldn't be letting the possibility of the mere presence of alcohol stop you meeting a good friend. Anyway, I describe my happy experience with alcohol only to try to illustrate that it isn't some big thing you need to agonise about. Give it a try, see how you like it. Try some beers, try some wines, try some spirits. Don't go nuts with it and drink too much all at once, just sample the taste and the effect. If you don't like it, don't do it and don't worry about what others might say. You won't be the only teetotaller in the world.
posted by Decani at 6:37 AM on December 21, 2005

If you do drink, be careful. Everyone I knew drank excessively in college (including myself). It led to some really not good situations: ER Trips, date rape, drunk driving, you name it. College kids as a rule drink way too much . . . so drink or don't drink , it's your choice, but just make sure you don't drink to the point of doing really stupid things. You'll avoid the wicked hangovers, too!
posted by bananafish at 6:47 AM on December 21, 2005

Consider that you might be making too much of this. Alcohol is not some mystical force that is hovering about you, waiting for you to slip up so it can strike and ruin your life. It's just beer/wine/spirits etc. Since the dawn of time humans have enjoyed it and they'll go on enjoying it until the end of time. Millions of people drink it everyday for various reasons. It is really no big deal at all. Stop trying to make your first drink into a "big step." It's not. It's a very tiny step that you'll forget almost as quickly as it happens.

Yes, you should drink, even though you're underage. You should become comfortable with alcohol now rather than later. A college freshman who's never had a drink is understandable. A college senior who's never had a drink is a freak who'll rightfully be shunned and ridiculed. You should always be open to try new things even if the new things don't seem enjoyable. And, who knows, you may find yourself really enjoying it.
posted by nixerman at 7:11 AM on December 21, 2005

Do it, or don't. Make your choice and if people can't accept you for it then you don't need them. Don't avoid situations where alcohol is, just be yourself and be able to say no (or yes). You sound relatively responsible compared to the average college freshman, so you'll probably be fine should you choose to start.

That said, a little social drinking won't hurt.

Also, what jewzilla said.
posted by dead_ at 7:44 AM on December 21, 2005

Drinking is somewhat bad for your health. Light drinking, not so much, but there is always the possibilty of addiction, and even heavy but not addicted drinking is not good for you. If you don't want to, don't. Spend some time figuring out why you avoid situations where there may be alcohol.
posted by theora55 at 8:06 AM on December 21, 2005

This question has been asked here a few times before. I never drank and now in my mid-40's I regret not doing so, but don't want to start now. I regret it because I skipped social events through college and my 20's and I think that harmed me. And when I do try to be more active now, people still ask now why I'm not drinking or draw attention to the fact that I'm not. Alcohol is so much part of the culture. I think if you can learn to drink moderately it will have less impact on you than not drinking at all.

On the other hand, these threads always show that lots more people don't drink then you'd think. It's just that those who do - especially those who do so excessively - are so loud about it. So don't become someone who wears beer logos on all your clothing.
posted by TimTypeZed at 10:35 AM on December 21, 2005

Don't do it if you don't feel like it - but don't avoid parties either. If people are looking at you funny b/c you're not drinking alcohol, that's just because they are still young and a beer still seems like a big deal to them. No real grownup cares whether someone else is drinking or not.
posted by selfmedicating at 10:37 AM on December 21, 2005

Doesn't matter either way, just be careful with company and take some precautions. As in, don't drink in the hallway or stumble around in view of any sort of campus security on duty, make sure you're smart enough to be quiet in the residence halls after hours, and don't ever be afraid to call someone who's guaranteed to be sober if you do end up in a weird situation.

You're being rational, and probably stuck in the trap of wondering whether you're avoiding peer pressure or just strongly believing that peer pressure is even an issue. There's no shame in being the sober guy, although it can get really boring or annoying at times when you have to deal with drunk people.
posted by mikeh at 12:22 PM on December 21, 2005

I've never had a drink, really, and I'm 30 years old. After about 10 years of telling people I wasn't interested, they generally take the hint. It's no big deal, you save a lot of money over time, you will never find yourself saying "gee, i wish i had just had something to drink that night", and all it costs is a lot of polite declining of offered drinks.
posted by anildash at 10:54 PM on December 21, 2005