Thank you for a generous boss

March 25, 2016 8:51 PM

My boss gave me a very (very) generous gift. What is an appropriate way to thank him? Buying him things seems a little gauche as his price range is so far above mine. I was thinking a card but that seems like not enough for what the gift was. Hope me?
posted by platypus of the universe to Human Relations (12 answers total)

Buying things for people with much more money is always tricky and awkward. They know they have more money than you. If you get them a nice gift then they may worry that they’ve pressured you into it, and many times rich people will avoid gifts because even though the money is trivial to them it may cause so many awkward feelings for the recipient. There’s also the fact that they can usually buy what they want.

If there’s something really simple but unique to their interests that they may not know about that can work. But usually a card or a thank you is a perfectly good response.
posted by bongo_x at 9:06 PM on March 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think a card will be just fine. Include a heartfelt, handwritten message thanking him, and telling him what the gift means to you / how you're going to use it. And also take that opportunity to tell him why you enjoy working for him!
posted by finding.perdita at 9:11 PM on March 25, 2016 [11 favorites]

Bake something? Can you make cookies or muffins or something else nice and classy? Do you know what he likes to eat, allergies, etc.?
posted by andoatnp at 9:18 PM on March 25, 2016

Send a handwritten card. Make it personal. If the gift was a "thing," you can send an email with a picture of where you have placed this thing in your home. Reciprocal gifts are not necessary.
posted by blurker at 9:19 PM on March 25, 2016 [4 favorites]

Best answer: As a boss, it is not wanted or expected to be given gifts by ones employees, regardless of the price. A card, on the other hand, is a lovely gesture. This is nearly universal etiquette.
posted by mikek at 9:22 PM on March 25, 2016 [18 favorites]

A general rule of business etiquette is that gifts should not flow up the chain of command, so other than something very inexpensive like home baked cookies, a gift would be inappropriate. A letter of thanks, in which you express your sincere appreciation for what he's done, how he's always been so thoughtful and generous, etc, would be appropriate.
posted by jacquilynne at 9:22 PM on March 25, 2016 [3 favorites]

My coworkers, over the years, have given me cookies (just now, when my cat died), and small funny gifts from their travels (chopsticks, luggage tag, candy), or other small personal thoughtful things. One lovely woman gave me dried fruit she'd dried herself. I would stick to something small and very inexpensive, but which is clearly personal to them-- (does he/she drink whisky? one very nice chocolate with a whisky filling would be great-- a bottle of whisky would be awkward)
posted by frumiousb at 9:29 PM on March 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

The best thing you can give is a thoughtfully written thank-you. Few people take the trouble any more, and it will make clear how much you valued the gift.
posted by languagehat at 6:44 AM on March 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

nthing a handwritten note. Employees should not be getting gifts for their bosses above the level of token. And I'm not just saying that in an economic or moral kind of way; this is also the etiquette & could even be awkward.

Meanwhile, a well-written thank you note is probably the best thing you could give in return. The handwritten thank-you note is a bit of a lost art these days, such that when I mailed one off to an older gentleman who had led a training session for a volunteer organization to which we belong, he was genuinely touched and wrote that in 15 years of leading those sessions he had never received a single thank you letter until mine. Your boss probably (hopefully?) expects nothing in return, so a well written thank you note would be welcome and appreciated. Consider drafting it in Word first to make sure you're happy with what you want to say before writing it out.
posted by slkinsey at 7:29 AM on March 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

Best answer: Handwritten note, short, no gushing, no heartfelt promises to make the gift a worthwhile investment, etc. "Boss, thank you very much for this gift. It means a lot to me and I really appreciate it. Best, Platypus."

(I received a huge gift from a potential employer once and blew it by being too heartfelt and maudlin about it. Don't do that.)
posted by Hermione Granger at 9:01 AM on March 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

Was the gift intended as a thank you gift to you, for all your hard work, or something? If so, a gift in return wouldn't be appropriate even if this person weren't your boss. A thank you gift is just that and should not be construed as initiating a gift exchange.

I agree with others; a nice note is best. Thank you, Hermione Granger, for cautioning against "maudlin" tone-- that's a great point; maudlin will work against you in this dynamic.
posted by kapers at 4:30 PM on March 26, 2016

Response by poster: Thanks all! I sent an email after the show about how great it was (it was tickets to Hamilton + trip to see it so you can see how I'm sort of overwhelmed). I'll send a card when I get home.
posted by platypus of the universe at 12:19 PM on March 28, 2016 [1 favorite]