How do I best navigate being edged out of a professional opportunity?
March 25, 2016 2:24 PM Subscribe
Non-profit: I found a grant and brought in two colleagues in my department to choose what we would propose for the grant, to write it and implement it. One of these colleagues who previous to this I would have described as a friend also has completely taken it over and basically pushed me out of the process. How do I get involved again? Or should I just say hindsight is 20/20 and let go of it all?
I approached this coworker about his behavior, he denied any malicious intentions- but he continues to keep me out of the loop and in effect has prevented me from having any role in the project. I have spoken to friends and other coworkers, but still have no idea of how to proceed as far as reinserting myself into the process at this point. He is more senior, more experienced and more capable, but I found the grant, did the leg work and had hoped it would be a great opportunity for me to develop myself professionally. I have tried to let it go, but still have so many negative feelings and really want to participate in this exciting project. This coworker/friend continues to invite me to socialize despite my having told him that I feel he doesn't respect me professionally and is actively undermining me at work.
I now know that I misread the situation and should have never invited this particular coworker to be involved in the grant given my goals to gain experience writing grants and to enhance my role in the institution. But how do I proceed now? Is anything salvageable?
I approached this coworker about his behavior, he denied any malicious intentions- but he continues to keep me out of the loop and in effect has prevented me from having any role in the project. I have spoken to friends and other coworkers, but still have no idea of how to proceed as far as reinserting myself into the process at this point. He is more senior, more experienced and more capable, but I found the grant, did the leg work and had hoped it would be a great opportunity for me to develop myself professionally. I have tried to let it go, but still have so many negative feelings and really want to participate in this exciting project. This coworker/friend continues to invite me to socialize despite my having told him that I feel he doesn't respect me professionally and is actively undermining me at work.
I now know that I misread the situation and should have never invited this particular coworker to be involved in the grant given my goals to gain experience writing grants and to enhance my role in the institution. But how do I proceed now? Is anything salvageable?
Best answer: Agree with the advice above, it is probably best to let this one go, and just keep what you've learned about your colleague in mind from now on. I'd also suggest having a frank talk with your supervisor about your desire for professional development, and how to go about getting the kinds of opportunities you are looking for.
posted by rpfields at 2:40 PM on March 25, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by rpfields at 2:40 PM on March 25, 2016 [10 favorites]
hmm if you want a tactic to try to get back in, here's one to try: start working on a new grant. Ask this person if they want in. Negotiate their involvement in that grant at the same time as renegotiating your involvement in this grant. If they don't include you in current project then no progress will be made in including them in the next one.
posted by cacao at 3:15 PM on March 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by cacao at 3:15 PM on March 25, 2016 [1 favorite]
Likely it would continue as it's begun, which sounds damn demoralizing to me. I'm really sorry; that blows :(
posted by spindrifter at 6:40 PM on March 25, 2016
posted by spindrifter at 6:40 PM on March 25, 2016
Best answer: By you found the grant do you mean you found a funding opportunity on the internet and said "here's some money, we should apply for that for something but I dunno what exactly" or you prepared a detailed project description and proposed that or that you actually acquired the money? The former is of almost no real value, although you may feel ownership over it, people think "hey we should apply for that" all the time.
In future before you talk to anyone about a potential grant do all the research you can on the organization and the grant. This means reading everything they publish about it, reading any referenced materials so you have a very, very good understanding of the purpose of the grant and what they want to fund and the mechanics of getting the money (this is key). It means calling and talking to them about your proposed project and also talking to other applicants if possible successful and failed. Then mock up a project description/ scope of work and a budget with some options and bring it to your boss. If they think it's a good idea and you need help, ask them to bring someone in to help you write it up. Give that person your draft and work with them. That way it's clear it's your draft and they are helping you.
Also if you're not going to be managing this grant or doing the work, for the love of god talk to the person who will be first thing and see if they're even interested.
Without a written project description and proposed budget you have essentially nothing but a vague idea. Not to be harsh but that is of zero value, really. Did you do anything I outlined above? Did you propose word for word the proposal they are submitting? If not, it's not your proposal they have come up with their own and, yes cut you out. Lame but it happens if you let it happen.
posted by fshgrl at 8:42 PM on March 25, 2016
In future before you talk to anyone about a potential grant do all the research you can on the organization and the grant. This means reading everything they publish about it, reading any referenced materials so you have a very, very good understanding of the purpose of the grant and what they want to fund and the mechanics of getting the money (this is key). It means calling and talking to them about your proposed project and also talking to other applicants if possible successful and failed. Then mock up a project description/ scope of work and a budget with some options and bring it to your boss. If they think it's a good idea and you need help, ask them to bring someone in to help you write it up. Give that person your draft and work with them. That way it's clear it's your draft and they are helping you.
Also if you're not going to be managing this grant or doing the work, for the love of god talk to the person who will be first thing and see if they're even interested.
Without a written project description and proposed budget you have essentially nothing but a vague idea. Not to be harsh but that is of zero value, really. Did you do anything I outlined above? Did you propose word for word the proposal they are submitting? If not, it's not your proposal they have come up with their own and, yes cut you out. Lame but it happens if you let it happen.
posted by fshgrl at 8:42 PM on March 25, 2016
To me, this question can't be answered without knowing more about your roles at the nonprofit. I can definitely envision a set of circumstances under which this might be reasonable. And as fshgrl said, people think "oh, we could apply for that money" all the time.
posted by salvia at 1:06 AM on March 26, 2016
posted by salvia at 1:06 AM on March 26, 2016
Response by poster: Thanks for the feedback!
I guess my situation is inbetween, this grant was one our organization had previously received but had botched the final report about a decade ago so we were barred from applying. Through conversations with the grant admins and our Director and COO, I was instrumental in our being able to apply at all.
So slightly more than here's some money but clearly no where near a full project description etc. as described above.
Our organization is mismanaged and disorganized. I never brought any of it to our boss at all. I just chose two coworkers that I thought would be good to work with- I now see my mistake, but at the time I thought three heads are better than one and, naively, that we would work collaboratively.
posted by abirdinthehand at 9:56 AM on March 26, 2016
I guess my situation is inbetween, this grant was one our organization had previously received but had botched the final report about a decade ago so we were barred from applying. Through conversations with the grant admins and our Director and COO, I was instrumental in our being able to apply at all.
So slightly more than here's some money but clearly no where near a full project description etc. as described above.
Our organization is mismanaged and disorganized. I never brought any of it to our boss at all. I just chose two coworkers that I thought would be good to work with- I now see my mistake, but at the time I thought three heads are better than one and, naively, that we would work collaboratively.
posted by abirdinthehand at 9:56 AM on March 26, 2016
Response by poster: Oh and maybe I am making more of this because I thought this person was a friend. People always say it's dangerous to get too friendly with coworkers. This is something else for me to take note of and work on.
posted by abirdinthehand at 10:20 AM on March 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by abirdinthehand at 10:20 AM on March 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by mumimor at 2:26 PM on March 25, 2016 [2 favorites]