YANMD, YANMT: Where do I start as an anxious, sober alcoholic manchild?
March 11, 2016 12:48 PM Subscribe
Paralyzed with fear, dealing with depression, motivated to change: I need to get my act together with professional help and am not sure where to go, being uninsured, employed part-time in the US. Snowflakes inside.
I considered making a throwaway because embarrassment, but realized I need help more than I need to keep my pride. TL;DR: I've been too panicked and/or drunk and careless for the past 2 years to even edit my résumé and end up pacing around the house, obsessing over what to do. I'm in KY, my income for the past year is <$6,000. I have a car to pay off, crashing at my mom's and not currently a student (still a community college drop-out) or a veteran. Thankfully, I'm not in any legal trouble. The obvious thing for me to do is apply to jobs and seek help, but I feel too mentally paralyzed, my thoughts are super scattered and I'm not sure where to turn, and scared to put myself out there. Help.
Back in 2014 I quit a full-time restaurant management job (due to stress/lack of sleep/drinking too much) without a back-up plan and pretty much drank my time and money away since then. I've been totally fiscally negligent, having been fired from my GP back in 2013 after neglecting to pay bills (which went to collections and have been paid off.), having my credit card cancelled due to me not caring (paid off).
Seeing my W-2's and realizing i'm not happy and haven't been for a long, long, long time is prompting me to ask you guys for direction. I've been mostly sober for the past month, save for a hiccup this past weekend. I'm super done with drinking. It's not helping. I'm checking out SMART Recovery classes online, but am looking for more resources or help, preferrably in the Louisville area.
I feel really anxious, uncomfortable, negative and alone with my thoughts, but somehow am able to be presentable around others. What is going on? What can I do?
I considered making a throwaway because embarrassment, but realized I need help more than I need to keep my pride. TL;DR: I've been too panicked and/or drunk and careless for the past 2 years to even edit my résumé and end up pacing around the house, obsessing over what to do. I'm in KY, my income for the past year is <$6,000. I have a car to pay off, crashing at my mom's and not currently a student (still a community college drop-out) or a veteran. Thankfully, I'm not in any legal trouble. The obvious thing for me to do is apply to jobs and seek help, but I feel too mentally paralyzed, my thoughts are super scattered and I'm not sure where to turn, and scared to put myself out there. Help.
Back in 2014 I quit a full-time restaurant management job (due to stress/lack of sleep/drinking too much) without a back-up plan and pretty much drank my time and money away since then. I've been totally fiscally negligent, having been fired from my GP back in 2013 after neglecting to pay bills (which went to collections and have been paid off.), having my credit card cancelled due to me not caring (paid off).
Seeing my W-2's and realizing i'm not happy and haven't been for a long, long, long time is prompting me to ask you guys for direction. I've been mostly sober for the past month, save for a hiccup this past weekend. I'm super done with drinking. It's not helping. I'm checking out SMART Recovery classes online, but am looking for more resources or help, preferrably in the Louisville area.
I feel really anxious, uncomfortable, negative and alone with my thoughts, but somehow am able to be presentable around others. What is going on? What can I do?
Have you tried contacting Seven Counties yet?
posted by dilettante at 1:12 PM on March 11, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by dilettante at 1:12 PM on March 11, 2016 [2 favorites]
Best answer: If you can scrape together cash for an office fee or there's a city/county low-cost/free clinic (it doesn't matter if STDs and methadone are its primary lines of business, they've got doctors inside), go to the cheapest doctor you can find with a copy of the $4 prescription list from Target (under Antidepressants) or Walmart (under Mental Health) whichever's more accessible to you, and get on an antidepressant. Citalopram (Celexa) is on those lists and is a very common effective entry-level ad. Buspirone is on both those lists too, and might be something the doctor wants to try to start with.
Any GP or nurse practitioner can do this. Any GP has done this, has seen this list in a patient's hand, many times over. This is not the fun or profitable kind of drug-seeking, nobody's going to throw you out for doing this. You may get asked a few questions, like are you thinking about hurting yourself, and that's okay. Don't be too scared to do this.
I'm probably going to be one of the few voices in this thread that thinks that AA is a snake-oil public health menace as a treatment methodology, but it is mostly better than a poke in the eye, at least, as a support group. Meeting systems vary with regard to how helpful they are about much of anything else (if there's a city/county free clinic, that's probably the best resource), but just go there and sit and know that other people are struggling too if nothing else.
It may be time to apply for food stamps and get into the system, too, so you can actually take advantage of any treatment options reserved for documented low-income patients.
You can totally do this. You feel awful right now, but you will not always feel this awful. It happens to people all the time, and they're all around you, and you don't know it because they got some help.
posted by Lyn Never at 1:17 PM on March 11, 2016 [21 favorites]
Any GP or nurse practitioner can do this. Any GP has done this, has seen this list in a patient's hand, many times over. This is not the fun or profitable kind of drug-seeking, nobody's going to throw you out for doing this. You may get asked a few questions, like are you thinking about hurting yourself, and that's okay. Don't be too scared to do this.
I'm probably going to be one of the few voices in this thread that thinks that AA is a snake-oil public health menace as a treatment methodology, but it is mostly better than a poke in the eye, at least, as a support group. Meeting systems vary with regard to how helpful they are about much of anything else (if there's a city/county free clinic, that's probably the best resource), but just go there and sit and know that other people are struggling too if nothing else.
It may be time to apply for food stamps and get into the system, too, so you can actually take advantage of any treatment options reserved for documented low-income patients.
You can totally do this. You feel awful right now, but you will not always feel this awful. It happens to people all the time, and they're all around you, and you don't know it because they got some help.
posted by Lyn Never at 1:17 PM on March 11, 2016 [21 favorites]
SMART Recovery can be a great resource - if there's not an in person meeting near you, there are 24/7 chat rooms and online forums. My partner finds that for assorted personal reasons it's a much better fit than AA for him, and said if you have any questions/concerns about SMART related stuff I could put you in touch with him, so MeMail me if that's something that would be helpful for you.
posted by Stacey at 1:19 PM on March 11, 2016
posted by Stacey at 1:19 PM on March 11, 2016
I feel really anxious, uncomfortable, negative and alone with my thoughts, but somehow am able to be presentable around others. What is going on? What can I do?
You're stressed out and depressed, and maybe also physically don't feel great from the drinking. Don't worry, a rough patch doesn't mean you're doomed. I've been there, too, and gotten out of it.
If I were you, I would put every restaurant job you've had on your resume, print out a bunch of copies, and spend a day going to a bunch of restaurants in town to fill out applications/drop off resumes in person. Try to get something FOH because it'll pay better and the hours are shorter. You'll probably have a full-time job within a week or two, and cash-in-hand immediately after you start. That will probably ease a large amount of your stress (it did for me!). You're in luck, because March is the perfect time of year to do this!
Your control over your sobriety needs to be on point if you're working in a bar/restaurant, because you will be pressured to drink (as I'm sure you know!), so let them know ahead of time that you're sober, don't hang out with the other employees outside of work, and keep going to AA meetings religiously (or going to whatever other sobriety support group you have -- and you need to have one).
Once you've got the safety net of more money and you've got more work to occupy your thoughts/time, you'll be in a better position to tackle the rest.
Also, I know it's trite, but you should also try to go outside and work out every day, keep your living space clean, and keep a regular sleeping/eating routine -- all of that will help minimize your stress and anxiety immensely.
Again, don't worry and don't be too hard on yourself. It sounds like you don't really have any kind of external structure to your life (no full time job, etc), and it's REALLY easy to get thrown off-track when that's the case. So if I were you, my #1 priority would be to get some good structure in place.
posted by rue72 at 1:35 PM on March 11, 2016 [1 favorite]
You're stressed out and depressed, and maybe also physically don't feel great from the drinking. Don't worry, a rough patch doesn't mean you're doomed. I've been there, too, and gotten out of it.
If I were you, I would put every restaurant job you've had on your resume, print out a bunch of copies, and spend a day going to a bunch of restaurants in town to fill out applications/drop off resumes in person. Try to get something FOH because it'll pay better and the hours are shorter. You'll probably have a full-time job within a week or two, and cash-in-hand immediately after you start. That will probably ease a large amount of your stress (it did for me!). You're in luck, because March is the perfect time of year to do this!
Your control over your sobriety needs to be on point if you're working in a bar/restaurant, because you will be pressured to drink (as I'm sure you know!), so let them know ahead of time that you're sober, don't hang out with the other employees outside of work, and keep going to AA meetings religiously (or going to whatever other sobriety support group you have -- and you need to have one).
Once you've got the safety net of more money and you've got more work to occupy your thoughts/time, you'll be in a better position to tackle the rest.
Also, I know it's trite, but you should also try to go outside and work out every day, keep your living space clean, and keep a regular sleeping/eating routine -- all of that will help minimize your stress and anxiety immensely.
Again, don't worry and don't be too hard on yourself. It sounds like you don't really have any kind of external structure to your life (no full time job, etc), and it's REALLY easy to get thrown off-track when that's the case. So if I were you, my #1 priority would be to get some good structure in place.
posted by rue72 at 1:35 PM on March 11, 2016 [1 favorite]
Best answer: As an alternative to restaurant work, try grocery stores - especially whatever fancy organic type is in your area. Low stress, employee discount, daytime hours, and coworkers are more likely to be health nuts than anything. All this is good for you. Set yourself up to succeed. Otherwise I'd look into coffee shops (look around for fancy barista training?) and stay away from the "restaurant scene".
Nthing a daily routine, times a million. My husband has generalised anxiety and loves a routine. Write it out and post it on a wall so you can wake up and go straight on auto pilot!
Look at You Need A Budget - watch the videos and lessons so that once you have some money coming in you have a plan for it.
Public libraries often have a resume review service - check their website.
Sign up for one community college class - just something fun. It's a place to go and something to do on a schedule. They likely have counsellors, career office, student gym, etc.
posted by jrobin276 at 2:55 PM on March 11, 2016 [5 favorites]
Nthing a daily routine, times a million. My husband has generalised anxiety and loves a routine. Write it out and post it on a wall so you can wake up and go straight on auto pilot!
Look at You Need A Budget - watch the videos and lessons so that once you have some money coming in you have a plan for it.
Public libraries often have a resume review service - check their website.
Sign up for one community college class - just something fun. It's a place to go and something to do on a schedule. They likely have counsellors, career office, student gym, etc.
posted by jrobin276 at 2:55 PM on March 11, 2016 [5 favorites]
Whatever else you do, I think you would benefit from adding some things like running and yoga to your regular day. I also think that you might spend some of your time on a special project that you can throw yourself into, something like learning a language on duolingo, reading all of the modern library's top 100 novels, or teaching yourself to knit using online tutorials. Also, volunteer; if you can, also find a way to volunteer in exchange for something that will be good for you, like cleaning a yoga studio in exchange for unlimited classes.
To my mind you need restful, healthful ways to fill your free time, and a structure and schedule for your day that gets you up early and leaves you reasonably tired at the end of the day. That should help the anxiety - and remember that drinking is often self-medicating for anxiety, though that anxiety is not necessarily chronic, so your skills are bad with that right now and over time they will most likely improve. Helping smooth out the anxiety will help you focus on the more-employment thing.
posted by vunder at 3:07 PM on March 11, 2016
To my mind you need restful, healthful ways to fill your free time, and a structure and schedule for your day that gets you up early and leaves you reasonably tired at the end of the day. That should help the anxiety - and remember that drinking is often self-medicating for anxiety, though that anxiety is not necessarily chronic, so your skills are bad with that right now and over time they will most likely improve. Helping smooth out the anxiety will help you focus on the more-employment thing.
posted by vunder at 3:07 PM on March 11, 2016
Best answer: As a recovering alcoholic of many years, I have some good news for you. You don't need to seek "professional" help to get sober. Nor do you need to worry about insurance.
Whether or not this is what you would like to hear, probably the best course of action to get started is to find an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in your area. Show up to the meeting and tell the folks there that you are new and that you want to stop drinking. They will likely talk about their experiences with drinking and getting sober, and give you a telephone list of people to call outside of the meeting that would be happy to help you stay sober too. Ask for a temporary sponsor and one of the men there can volunteer to guide you through how to stay sober 24 hours at a time.
The reason I mention AA is because it has worked for millions of people for a lot of years and even myself for a long time, and also because it gives an alcoholic other alcoholics to talk to in person. It's really important when you're trying to get sober to have someone to talk with that has been down the same road. And it's even more important to show up in person because it's harder to bullshit someone else when you're face-to-face. No one can stay sober alone.
Try not to worry so much about your job or money right now. If you're drinking all the time, you may not have the job much longer anyway. IME, things have a way of working themselves out once an alcoholic decides to make a valiant effort towards sobriety.
If you start staying sober for a while, you may very well find that your depression abates and you feel better. Not to minimize your pain, but as a datapoint, it is quite common for alcoholics to experience depression especially during periods of heavy drinking and even months into early sobriety. Some of us need medication after a period of sobriety, but that is best determined by a psychiatrist that is very experienced in treating folks with mood disorders and substance dependence issues. It's normal to feel like shit when you've been away from alcohol for a few days. Very, very normal. Everyone feels that way at the beginning. Alcohol is a depressant and after long-term chronic use, you wonder if you can ever feel okay again. It takes time, but you can and will feel like a productive and valuable human being.
If you're an alcoholic like me, recovery from alcoholism is the greatest gift you can ever give to yourself. Memail me if you'd like some support. Hugs. :)
posted by strelitzia at 3:08 PM on March 11, 2016 [6 favorites]
Whether or not this is what you would like to hear, probably the best course of action to get started is to find an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in your area. Show up to the meeting and tell the folks there that you are new and that you want to stop drinking. They will likely talk about their experiences with drinking and getting sober, and give you a telephone list of people to call outside of the meeting that would be happy to help you stay sober too. Ask for a temporary sponsor and one of the men there can volunteer to guide you through how to stay sober 24 hours at a time.
The reason I mention AA is because it has worked for millions of people for a lot of years and even myself for a long time, and also because it gives an alcoholic other alcoholics to talk to in person. It's really important when you're trying to get sober to have someone to talk with that has been down the same road. And it's even more important to show up in person because it's harder to bullshit someone else when you're face-to-face. No one can stay sober alone.
Try not to worry so much about your job or money right now. If you're drinking all the time, you may not have the job much longer anyway. IME, things have a way of working themselves out once an alcoholic decides to make a valiant effort towards sobriety.
If you start staying sober for a while, you may very well find that your depression abates and you feel better. Not to minimize your pain, but as a datapoint, it is quite common for alcoholics to experience depression especially during periods of heavy drinking and even months into early sobriety. Some of us need medication after a period of sobriety, but that is best determined by a psychiatrist that is very experienced in treating folks with mood disorders and substance dependence issues. It's normal to feel like shit when you've been away from alcohol for a few days. Very, very normal. Everyone feels that way at the beginning. Alcohol is a depressant and after long-term chronic use, you wonder if you can ever feel okay again. It takes time, but you can and will feel like a productive and valuable human being.
If you're an alcoholic like me, recovery from alcoholism is the greatest gift you can ever give to yourself. Memail me if you'd like some support. Hugs. :)
posted by strelitzia at 3:08 PM on March 11, 2016 [6 favorites]
You sound overwhelmed, so I am going to recommend one simple first step: see a doctor.
There are clinics across the country devoted to caring for people with low incomes. You can find a place to get low cost or free care in this database of federal health centers. You will find several options in the Louisville area. One disadvantage of these centers to be aware of is that they sometimes have long wait times because of great demand. Fortunately, it sounds like you have some spare time at the moment. While you're there you may also be able to meet with a social worker who can connect you with Medicaid and other benefits.
This is why I recommend starting by getting medical care:
AA is all well and good (in many cases), but alcoholism (formally called alcohol use disorder) is a medical as well as a psychological disorder. Experts on addiction and substance use have discovered and invented ways to reduce a person's risk of relapse, including medication and behavioral therapies. Your health care provider may be able to prescribe you a low cost generic drug or refer you to a sliding scale therapist or mental health clinic. To prepare for your visit, you might want to read this article about medical approaches to alcohol use disorder. Since you are generally feeling poorly, it is also worthwhile checking out whether any medical illnesses (like thyroid disease) or psychiatric illnesses (like depression) might be affecting your outlook and motivation.
Of course that's just my humble suggestion. There are many paths open to you. I hold out hope.
Whatever you do, take care of yourself, OK? Once you are feeling better, everything else will be easier.
posted by reren at 3:15 PM on March 11, 2016 [3 favorites]
There are clinics across the country devoted to caring for people with low incomes. You can find a place to get low cost or free care in this database of federal health centers. You will find several options in the Louisville area. One disadvantage of these centers to be aware of is that they sometimes have long wait times because of great demand. Fortunately, it sounds like you have some spare time at the moment. While you're there you may also be able to meet with a social worker who can connect you with Medicaid and other benefits.
This is why I recommend starting by getting medical care:
AA is all well and good (in many cases), but alcoholism (formally called alcohol use disorder) is a medical as well as a psychological disorder. Experts on addiction and substance use have discovered and invented ways to reduce a person's risk of relapse, including medication and behavioral therapies. Your health care provider may be able to prescribe you a low cost generic drug or refer you to a sliding scale therapist or mental health clinic. To prepare for your visit, you might want to read this article about medical approaches to alcohol use disorder. Since you are generally feeling poorly, it is also worthwhile checking out whether any medical illnesses (like thyroid disease) or psychiatric illnesses (like depression) might be affecting your outlook and motivation.
Of course that's just my humble suggestion. There are many paths open to you. I hold out hope.
Whatever you do, take care of yourself, OK? Once you are feeling better, everything else will be easier.
posted by reren at 3:15 PM on March 11, 2016 [3 favorites]
When I needed to get my self together, I took a fairly physical job with very defined tasks. Load truck at warehouse, unload truck at event, set up event, take down event, load truck at event, unload truck at warehouse.
It was just physical enough to keep me moving around and tired at the end of the day. The people were a healthy mix of college aged part timers, warehouse rats, middle-aged slackers (me) and creative types who designed, did floral, that sort of thing.
The point of all of this is that simply having a goal that was kind of cool, like doing someone's wedding, doing a corporate party, etc. was enough to get me out of the house, and the satisfaction was real. I'm still kind of proud of some of the stuff I worked on, even though it was a low-skill job.
Summing up: See if you can find work that is moderately active, has very defined duties and outcomes that you can see every day. Then you won't feel like so much of a loser, and you can build on that satisfaction with yourself when you are ready for more demanding work. Or you may discover that you love the physical job and make a career.
You won't get rich, probably something like 10-15$ an hour, but it's better than pacing around the house.
posted by Ecgtheow at 3:16 PM on March 11, 2016 [1 favorite]
It was just physical enough to keep me moving around and tired at the end of the day. The people were a healthy mix of college aged part timers, warehouse rats, middle-aged slackers (me) and creative types who designed, did floral, that sort of thing.
The point of all of this is that simply having a goal that was kind of cool, like doing someone's wedding, doing a corporate party, etc. was enough to get me out of the house, and the satisfaction was real. I'm still kind of proud of some of the stuff I worked on, even though it was a low-skill job.
Summing up: See if you can find work that is moderately active, has very defined duties and outcomes that you can see every day. Then you won't feel like so much of a loser, and you can build on that satisfaction with yourself when you are ready for more demanding work. Or you may discover that you love the physical job and make a career.
You won't get rich, probably something like 10-15$ an hour, but it's better than pacing around the house.
posted by Ecgtheow at 3:16 PM on March 11, 2016 [1 favorite]
Pretty much everyone thinks AA is not right for them. Pretty much everyone is too smart or special for AA. The truth is there is no "AA is like X". It’s different everywhere. If you don’t like a meeting go to another one. Keep going to different ones.
It’s not for everyone, but people who are in need of it may not have the best perspective.
posted by bongo_x at 3:48 PM on March 11, 2016
It’s not for everyone, but people who are in need of it may not have the best perspective.
posted by bongo_x at 3:48 PM on March 11, 2016
If you don't think AA is for you/think it's too cultish, go to a meeting at 7am or noon in a part of town with lot of 9 to 5ers. Seeing a room full of people on their way to their stable source of income to support their families really takes the wind out of, "those weak-minded soberzombies, I am so much smarter than them." And they will care about you. They will ask you your name and ask you how you are and remember your name next week. Simple shit, but it meant to much to me in the beginning, a room full of people who genuinely wanted me to be sane for no other reason than because they have been where I was too.
posted by good lorneing at 7:21 PM on March 11, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by good lorneing at 7:21 PM on March 11, 2016 [1 favorite]
What the hell are you doing? Now we're both in the hole!
posted by good lorneing at 7:22 PM on March 11, 2016
posted by good lorneing at 7:22 PM on March 11, 2016
AA doesn't work very well for most people, despite the fact that it's so heavily recommended. There was a great article in The Atlantic a while back (Google "The Irrationality of Alcoholics Anonymous") that discusses this, and offers other ideas. Naltrexone is the recommendation I remember.
posted by mysterious_stranger at 10:38 PM on March 11, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by mysterious_stranger at 10:38 PM on March 11, 2016 [1 favorite]
The MeFi Wiki ThereIsHelp page has sections on Finding a Therapist, which includes links to referral resources, such as The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264), which offers information, referrals and support for people living with a mental health condition. The NAMI online directory can be searched for local NAMI organizations.
The ThereIsHelp page also includes sections with links to directories of low-cost and no-cost sources of medication and health care, as well as sections on Depression and Alcoholism.
You may also qualify for fast-track SSDI benefits, at least on a temporary basis, which could allow you to work part-time and focus on your recovery. More information is available at the MeFi Wiki Get a lawyer page in the free or low-cost avenues for legal assistance section.
Information about how to find free health care and health insurance in Kentucky is available from the Kentucky Department of Insurance.
posted by Little Dawn at 7:42 AM on March 12, 2016
The ThereIsHelp page also includes sections with links to directories of low-cost and no-cost sources of medication and health care, as well as sections on Depression and Alcoholism.
You may also qualify for fast-track SSDI benefits, at least on a temporary basis, which could allow you to work part-time and focus on your recovery. More information is available at the MeFi Wiki Get a lawyer page in the free or low-cost avenues for legal assistance section.
Information about how to find free health care and health insurance in Kentucky is available from the Kentucky Department of Insurance.
posted by Little Dawn at 7:42 AM on March 12, 2016
Best answer: AA doesn't work very well for most people, despite the fact that it's so heavily recommended.
You know, OP, I'm not here to argue with other posters or anyone else for that matter, but this kind of assertion (especially with no evidence to back it up) is the kind of rhetoric that can discourage alcoholics from seeking the kind of life-saving treatment they really need.
As other posters have mentioned, no alcoholic likes AA when they first come to a meeting. They (the alcoholic) think they're too smart, too educated, too young, too white, too black, too whatever to be a drunk. And of course, no one wants to hear the word "God". I know I didn't. But in order to get a start on sobriety, all anyone needs is a desire to stop drinking.
When I first came to an AA meeting, the bottom line was that the people there had something I didn't. They had learned how to live sober. And that was a hell of a lot more than I knew at the time. I thought their slogans were bullshit too. But they had what I wanted. A life without alcohol. And I was dying from booze at the time, so I was willing to do whatever I had to do to get my life back.
AA is not in the business to recruit members. AA will get along just fine whether you go to a meeting or not. But we stay sober by helping other drunks. That's how it works for us. If you want to try another method of getting and staying sober, by all means do so. We're not here to convince you that AA is the only successful treatment for alcoholism. But Alcoholics Anonymous is available to help if you want it. There is a saying in AA that goes, "If you want to drink, that's your business. But if you want to stop, that's ours." No obligations.
Whatever you decide to do, OP, I wish you the best.
posted by strelitzia at 8:12 AM on March 12, 2016 [6 favorites]
You know, OP, I'm not here to argue with other posters or anyone else for that matter, but this kind of assertion (especially with no evidence to back it up) is the kind of rhetoric that can discourage alcoholics from seeking the kind of life-saving treatment they really need.
As other posters have mentioned, no alcoholic likes AA when they first come to a meeting. They (the alcoholic) think they're too smart, too educated, too young, too white, too black, too whatever to be a drunk. And of course, no one wants to hear the word "God". I know I didn't. But in order to get a start on sobriety, all anyone needs is a desire to stop drinking.
When I first came to an AA meeting, the bottom line was that the people there had something I didn't. They had learned how to live sober. And that was a hell of a lot more than I knew at the time. I thought their slogans were bullshit too. But they had what I wanted. A life without alcohol. And I was dying from booze at the time, so I was willing to do whatever I had to do to get my life back.
AA is not in the business to recruit members. AA will get along just fine whether you go to a meeting or not. But we stay sober by helping other drunks. That's how it works for us. If you want to try another method of getting and staying sober, by all means do so. We're not here to convince you that AA is the only successful treatment for alcoholism. But Alcoholics Anonymous is available to help if you want it. There is a saying in AA that goes, "If you want to drink, that's your business. But if you want to stop, that's ours." No obligations.
Whatever you decide to do, OP, I wish you the best.
posted by strelitzia at 8:12 AM on March 12, 2016 [6 favorites]
AA doesn't work very well for most people, despite the fact that it's so heavily recommended.
Nothing works for most people, that’s the problem.
posted by bongo_x at 2:16 PM on March 12, 2016
Nothing works for most people, that’s the problem.
posted by bongo_x at 2:16 PM on March 12, 2016
You need to know about post-acute withdrawal. Look it up. You don't stop drinking and suddenly X days later you are all back to normal. It takes a while for your mind to re-wire itself. I was a wreck when I quit after probably 5 to 10 years of active alcoholism, not sure when I stopped being a cucumber and turned into a pickle. It took months and months to approach normal. - Note - everybody's recovery is different.
You just need to know you are moving in the right direction, keep at it, and things will continue to get better.
Personally, AA did it for me, I haven't had a drink since my first meeting over 8 years ago. One thing you might consider is that AA is big on sponsorship - you pair up with someone with some time who has been down the path you are on, and can tell you about what lies ahead.
posted by rudd135 at 5:35 PM on March 12, 2016
You just need to know you are moving in the right direction, keep at it, and things will continue to get better.
Personally, AA did it for me, I haven't had a drink since my first meeting over 8 years ago. One thing you might consider is that AA is big on sponsorship - you pair up with someone with some time who has been down the path you are on, and can tell you about what lies ahead.
posted by rudd135 at 5:35 PM on March 12, 2016
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posted by xingcat at 12:53 PM on March 11, 2016 [4 favorites]