What Should I Know About Living Alone?
February 26, 2016 6:01 PM Subscribe
Tell me things I need to know about living alone for the first time as an adult!
I will be moving into an apartment without roommates for the first time on May 1, 2016. I am 26, female, living in downtown Toronto, and will be starting a year of articling. Much like I have never not been in school, I have never not had roommates. I am fairly introverted but have been living with my best friend for three years and am sad for that situation to end (amicably but inevitably). My questions are mostly as follows:
1. What is different about living alone instead of living with roommates that I will not be prepared for or not expect?
2. How do I make sure I am not a total hermit, now that I will have the option to do so, a pretty demanding job, and my worst instincts are often pretty hermit-esque?
3. What can I do now to prepare for this situation/setting up the apartment that will make it easier? I get actual possession on April 1 but don't have to leave my current place until May 1.
4. Any advice for living alone: tips, best practices, horror stories, waxing rhapsodic, etc.
Thank you!
I will be moving into an apartment without roommates for the first time on May 1, 2016. I am 26, female, living in downtown Toronto, and will be starting a year of articling. Much like I have never not been in school, I have never not had roommates. I am fairly introverted but have been living with my best friend for three years and am sad for that situation to end (amicably but inevitably). My questions are mostly as follows:
1. What is different about living alone instead of living with roommates that I will not be prepared for or not expect?
2. How do I make sure I am not a total hermit, now that I will have the option to do so, a pretty demanding job, and my worst instincts are often pretty hermit-esque?
3. What can I do now to prepare for this situation/setting up the apartment that will make it easier? I get actual possession on April 1 but don't have to leave my current place until May 1.
4. Any advice for living alone: tips, best practices, horror stories, waxing rhapsodic, etc.
Thank you!
Set up all your bills on autopay and get something like YNAB to track your dollars.
Go to Canadian Tire and spend the 70 dollars on this
To stay non hermity go through this and add 3-4 months worth of events to a google calendar. You aren't committing to going to anything, but if you're find yourself bored and antsy you can just check the calendar and see if there's an option for you.
If you're doing coin op laundry - pick up some nice knickknacky container from a thrift store and populate it with 30.00 worth of change to start you off.
posted by asockpuppet at 6:15 PM on February 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Go to Canadian Tire and spend the 70 dollars on this
To stay non hermity go through this and add 3-4 months worth of events to a google calendar. You aren't committing to going to anything, but if you're find yourself bored and antsy you can just check the calendar and see if there's an option for you.
If you're doing coin op laundry - pick up some nice knickknacky container from a thrift store and populate it with 30.00 worth of change to start you off.
posted by asockpuppet at 6:15 PM on February 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Also, if you aren't actually moving in until May, spend a night in your new apartment in a sleeping bag. It's completely empty and you'll get a good idea of what the noise level from surrounding apartments is like. You can then gauge if you'll need a lot of soft pillowy sound absorbing furniture, rugs, or white noise machines.
posted by asockpuppet at 6:18 PM on February 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by asockpuppet at 6:18 PM on February 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
I like living alone. Get a cat! I agree, walking around naked is great. And you can cook whenever you want, have the lights on whenever, watch tv whenever, etc. My parents live in the same city, and they have a key, which was important the time I locked myself out. With my kitten. I do keep my phone on at night, by my bed, which I never did when I lived with roommates, but I also don't have a landline. Also, with the month cushion, check if there are restrictions on when you can move out and in. [Some places only let you move during the week, etc]
posted by the twistinside at 6:23 PM on February 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by the twistinside at 6:23 PM on February 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
I had roommates all through my undergrad and enjoyed it, but I really, REALLY enjoyed living alone during grad school and a few years beyond. It did take me about a week to really settle into it. It suited me very well: I'm an introvert, though a friendly one (I need a decent amount of time alone to recharge, but I like getting together with people singly or in small groups). The next person I moved in with was a romantic partner; I've never had a "roommate" again which is fine with me.
1. I wasn't expecting to feel so nervous about the possibility of a break-in or intruder. I dealt with that by having my phone in bed with me so I could call 911 quickly if I needed to.
2. I always had plans with friends at least once or twice a week. If everyone was away and I felt lonely, I knew where I could go to be with other people--a local cafe (where I often would meet people I knew who would invite me to sit with them), the public library.
3. I loved having cats when I lived alone. They were great company. Obviously don't do this if you don't like/want cats, but if you've been considering it, I'd say now is the perfect time.
4. This habit has persisted even though I don't live alone anymore--luckily mr. hgg has the same habit: I leave the radio on CBC Radio One almost all the time. It's on when I leave the house so that it's not quiet when I come home; it's on when I am home so there are comforting voices and I don't feel alone (I guess comforting is in the ear of the beholder--depends if you like your CBC radio hosts!). It also covers up the "WHAT WAS THAT CREAK" noises that all places have, so I am not constantly freaking out about every little unidentified sound.
Anyway, my years of living alone were some of the ones I look back on most fondly. I hope you enjoy it too!
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 6:25 PM on February 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
1. I wasn't expecting to feel so nervous about the possibility of a break-in or intruder. I dealt with that by having my phone in bed with me so I could call 911 quickly if I needed to.
2. I always had plans with friends at least once or twice a week. If everyone was away and I felt lonely, I knew where I could go to be with other people--a local cafe (where I often would meet people I knew who would invite me to sit with them), the public library.
3. I loved having cats when I lived alone. They were great company. Obviously don't do this if you don't like/want cats, but if you've been considering it, I'd say now is the perfect time.
4. This habit has persisted even though I don't live alone anymore--luckily mr. hgg has the same habit: I leave the radio on CBC Radio One almost all the time. It's on when I leave the house so that it's not quiet when I come home; it's on when I am home so there are comforting voices and I don't feel alone (I guess comforting is in the ear of the beholder--depends if you like your CBC radio hosts!). It also covers up the "WHAT WAS THAT CREAK" noises that all places have, so I am not constantly freaking out about every little unidentified sound.
Anyway, my years of living alone were some of the ones I look back on most fondly. I hope you enjoy it too!
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 6:25 PM on February 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
It can be very difficult, if you are a person who is generally fairly diligent about housekeeping because of the presence of other people, to not collapse into entropy shockingly fast. Pencil in a schedule for tending to things, obviously tweak it as you go to make the plan better, but go in with those things kind of tacked to your mental sidebar or all the sudden you've been there 6 months and haven't cleaned your toilet.
Have people over at least monthly. Will prevent you from hermitting too badly, and keep your place more or less company-ready.
Learn to cook for multiple meals and freeze some. The whole fridge/freezer is yours!!!!
Don't buy a ton of stuff you think you need. Set yourself up an Amazon wish list to keep track of things you think you'll want, but sit on them a bit unless they are critical to functioning (like a shower curtain). Plan to play it by ear for a month or two or three. Anything you buy, ask yourself if you want to live with it/move it.
On that note: if you put a nice tablecloth on it, a 4' or 6' plastic folding table is a perfectly nice, functional, cheap, and move-able piece of furniture.
Don't get an impulse cat. Even a cat is a pretty serious lifestyle constraint for 10-15 years. I wish there were not so many cats that need homes, but when you're having to make living-arrangement, travel, work, financial, and relationship decisions for a decade or longer because of a 9lb shit and vomit machine, don't go into that lightly. (Fostering, though? Absolutely. Or volunteer.)
posted by Lyn Never at 6:31 PM on February 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
Have people over at least monthly. Will prevent you from hermitting too badly, and keep your place more or less company-ready.
Learn to cook for multiple meals and freeze some. The whole fridge/freezer is yours!!!!
Don't buy a ton of stuff you think you need. Set yourself up an Amazon wish list to keep track of things you think you'll want, but sit on them a bit unless they are critical to functioning (like a shower curtain). Plan to play it by ear for a month or two or three. Anything you buy, ask yourself if you want to live with it/move it.
On that note: if you put a nice tablecloth on it, a 4' or 6' plastic folding table is a perfectly nice, functional, cheap, and move-able piece of furniture.
Don't get an impulse cat. Even a cat is a pretty serious lifestyle constraint for 10-15 years. I wish there were not so many cats that need homes, but when you're having to make living-arrangement, travel, work, financial, and relationship decisions for a decade or longer because of a 9lb shit and vomit machine, don't go into that lightly. (Fostering, though? Absolutely. Or volunteer.)
posted by Lyn Never at 6:31 PM on February 26, 2016 [8 favorites]
Eat out occasionally. Cooking for one is tricky, and it'll prevent you from being a hermit.
posted by kevinbelt at 6:43 PM on February 26, 2016
posted by kevinbelt at 6:43 PM on February 26, 2016
Invite friends over regularly to make dinner together, or for crafting/mending nights, or to sit on the stoop and smoke cigarettes and make up tap dances to bad songs from the eighties. Having people over keeps you from sliding into hermity seclusion while the dishes moulder in the sink, and it helps your house feel less solitary.
posted by tapir-whorf at 6:55 PM on February 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by tapir-whorf at 6:55 PM on February 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
Like hurdy gurdy girl, I liked having CBC Radio or podcasts on all the time when I lived alone. Soothing, and you learn stuff!
Invite friends from away to couch surf now and then - that'll remind you how much you like living alone. :)
posted by stray at 7:08 PM on February 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Invite friends from away to couch surf now and then - that'll remind you how much you like living alone. :)
posted by stray at 7:08 PM on February 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
If you don't want a cat, consider a pair of parakeet/budgies. It is really nice to have a living being around who notices when you come in and go out. If you spend time with them, they can be very social.
posted by metahawk at 7:11 PM on February 26, 2016
posted by metahawk at 7:11 PM on February 26, 2016
I loved living alone. I'm an introvert and I did get kind of hermity and it was awesome. It was the first (and probably only) time in my life when I could fully participate in work and my planned social activities, because I wasn't also having to be social at home. I ate a lot of bagged cereal while watching whatever it was that existed before Netflix, and just reveled in it.
But some advice:
Stock up on stuff you'll need when you're too sick to go anywhere and don't have roommates to bring it to you: pepto, cold medicine, ginger ale and saltines. Just enough to get through the first couple hours of food poisoning or a bad cold, until someone can bring you more stuff.
Say hello to your neighbors - you might need them in a way you never needed neighbors when you lived with roommates.
Definitely keep a key somewhere outside of your apartment.
Decorate your place, even though no one but you will see it. Don't feel that this kind of situation, since it's probably meant to be temporary, doesn't deserve to be home.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 7:18 PM on February 26, 2016 [10 favorites]
But some advice:
Stock up on stuff you'll need when you're too sick to go anywhere and don't have roommates to bring it to you: pepto, cold medicine, ginger ale and saltines. Just enough to get through the first couple hours of food poisoning or a bad cold, until someone can bring you more stuff.
Say hello to your neighbors - you might need them in a way you never needed neighbors when you lived with roommates.
Definitely keep a key somewhere outside of your apartment.
Decorate your place, even though no one but you will see it. Don't feel that this kind of situation, since it's probably meant to be temporary, doesn't deserve to be home.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 7:18 PM on February 26, 2016 [10 favorites]
Become a regular. Local bar, diner, coffee shop, pizza place, deli, corner store, etc.. A place where they know your name, and will wonder about you if you don't show up or order for a while. When you've got the flu and need some soup, your regular carry-out will deliver.
I used to get my mail at a local bar. I met blind dates there, I went there for coffee and sympathy, I went there when it was too cold at my small apt.
posted by Ideefixe at 7:22 PM on February 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
I used to get my mail at a local bar. I met blind dates there, I went there for coffee and sympathy, I went there when it was too cold at my small apt.
posted by Ideefixe at 7:22 PM on February 26, 2016 [6 favorites]
Ohhh yeah. peanut mcgillicuty has a good point about making sure you're provided for in case you get sick. Good to have at least one person you can feel comfortable calling to help you in case of emergency, illness or otherwise.
I remember a question on here a few years ago by someone who lived alone and was having day surgery. It's not a good idea to be alone after anaesthetic, so have a plan in case that happens. (One particularly memorable comment warning her against it was from a guy who had thought he was just fine, but had woken up the next morning in his backyard, encircled by his dog and a few neighbourhood dogs lying patiently and protectively around him.)
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 8:22 PM on February 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
I remember a question on here a few years ago by someone who lived alone and was having day surgery. It's not a good idea to be alone after anaesthetic, so have a plan in case that happens. (One particularly memorable comment warning her against it was from a guy who had thought he was just fine, but had woken up the next morning in his backyard, encircled by his dog and a few neighbourhood dogs lying patiently and protectively around him.)
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 8:22 PM on February 26, 2016 [4 favorites]
I so much LOVE living alone. And I dreaded it so much before I did it -- until a few years ago I had always had roommates or my now ex-husband, and I wasn't even sure I could really know I was alive unless there was another human being nearby, felt really self-conscious alone somehow. But I was wrong. I work in a kind of service industry and after people-pleasing all day, there is nothing so lovely as coming home to be yourself in your own space. I have never felt more "at home" than I do now -- even in adolescence, I had a sense of parental judgement about how I was decorating, that the space wasn't really mine. In contrast to some commenters above, I am actually much neater now than I used to be, since I am more invested, and it matters to me more how things look. and yes I do dance in lingerie, and drink milk from the bottle sometimes, and leave the door open when I go to pee, but these aren't the nicest things about living alone. really being yourself in your own space is the nicest thing.
posted by half life at 4:47 AM on February 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by half life at 4:47 AM on February 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
One thing that's really worthwhile if you live alone is setting yourself regular de-cluttering sessions from the very beginning. It's great to have room for all your things, but de-cluttering really takes much more mental energy for a single person than for a couple or a group of housemates. If someone else comes along and says "Okay to bin this?" it's fairly easy to say "Sure!" or "Hang on, I still need that!" but working by yourself can end up as a whole series of "Will I, won't I?" decisions which can be quite stressful.
Speaking from the experience of having a whole house to myself for more than 25 years and having accumulated far too much stuff. Ending up as a full-scale hoarder is more of a danger if you're living alone.
posted by Azara at 9:25 AM on February 27, 2016
Speaking from the experience of having a whole house to myself for more than 25 years and having accumulated far too much stuff. Ending up as a full-scale hoarder is more of a danger if you're living alone.
posted by Azara at 9:25 AM on February 27, 2016
Lived in a 1BR for 18 months, now live with two roommates. Living alone was great in most respects, but it was expensive and it taught me that I'm a lot less introverted than I thought I was.
1. What is different about living alone instead of living with roommates that I will not be prepared for or not expect?
Stuff doesn't get done if you don't do it, so quickly learn the tasks you have trouble getting done and make a plan to make them happen. I'm a neat freak, so everything in my house was always spotless, but on the other hand, recycling would pile up because I hate taking it out, and almost all my walls were bare because I don't have a natural drive to decorate. Reminders or alarms to get this stuff done would have been really helpful.
2. How do I make sure I am not a total hermit, now that I will have the option to do so, a pretty demanding job, and my worst instincts are often pretty hermit-esque?
Well, this is a large part of why I moved, so I can only offer you semi-confident advice. What I'll say is that regular, recurring events with some kind of commitment helped me a lot. Join some kind of team, take a class, audition for a play, whatever suits you, but make yourself accountable to someone or something other than your whims.
3. What can I do now to prepare for this situation/setting up the apartment that will make it easier? I get actual possession on April 1 but don't have to leave my current place until May 1.
Make sure you have furniture/TV, kitchen/bathroom/cleaning supplies, utilities/cable/internet all lined up before the end of April. The more of that stuff you can do before you move in, the better your first few days in the new place will be. Since you have a whole month of pre-move-in access, there's no reason not to get furniture etc. delivered directly to your new place. You can start decorating now and make it feel like home. I found curtains are one of the most instantly gratifying things you can put in.
4. Any advice for living alone: tips, best practices, horror stories, waxing rhapsodic, etc.
Maybe this wouldn't bother you, but: the thing that freaked me out the most was the idea that if I died in my apartment, no one would know for days, maybe even a week when I was at my most hermit-like. And then someone would have to discover my decomposing body and be wracked with guilt about how if they'd only checked in... I recently learned there are services that you can check in with every day by phone, email, or a mobile app to confirm you're still alive. I would have been much happier with one of these.
Oh, and I started eating really poorly when I lived by myself because no one was going to judge me for it. So that's another thing to be on the lookout for.
posted by capricorn at 12:02 PM on February 27, 2016
1. What is different about living alone instead of living with roommates that I will not be prepared for or not expect?
Stuff doesn't get done if you don't do it, so quickly learn the tasks you have trouble getting done and make a plan to make them happen. I'm a neat freak, so everything in my house was always spotless, but on the other hand, recycling would pile up because I hate taking it out, and almost all my walls were bare because I don't have a natural drive to decorate. Reminders or alarms to get this stuff done would have been really helpful.
2. How do I make sure I am not a total hermit, now that I will have the option to do so, a pretty demanding job, and my worst instincts are often pretty hermit-esque?
Well, this is a large part of why I moved, so I can only offer you semi-confident advice. What I'll say is that regular, recurring events with some kind of commitment helped me a lot. Join some kind of team, take a class, audition for a play, whatever suits you, but make yourself accountable to someone or something other than your whims.
3. What can I do now to prepare for this situation/setting up the apartment that will make it easier? I get actual possession on April 1 but don't have to leave my current place until May 1.
Make sure you have furniture/TV, kitchen/bathroom/cleaning supplies, utilities/cable/internet all lined up before the end of April. The more of that stuff you can do before you move in, the better your first few days in the new place will be. Since you have a whole month of pre-move-in access, there's no reason not to get furniture etc. delivered directly to your new place. You can start decorating now and make it feel like home. I found curtains are one of the most instantly gratifying things you can put in.
4. Any advice for living alone: tips, best practices, horror stories, waxing rhapsodic, etc.
Maybe this wouldn't bother you, but: the thing that freaked me out the most was the idea that if I died in my apartment, no one would know for days, maybe even a week when I was at my most hermit-like. And then someone would have to discover my decomposing body and be wracked with guilt about how if they'd only checked in... I recently learned there are services that you can check in with every day by phone, email, or a mobile app to confirm you're still alive. I would have been much happier with one of these.
Oh, and I started eating really poorly when I lived by myself because no one was going to judge me for it. So that's another thing to be on the lookout for.
posted by capricorn at 12:02 PM on February 27, 2016
Oh yeah, and if you do have to have some kind of surgery done or anything else involving a protracted recovery period, go do it in your parents' town and let them take care of you, assuming you have a good relationship with them*. My parents are local, but that's what all my transplant friends/colleagues do. (I'm also in my mid-twenties, so I think it's pretty normal to lean on family at this age.)
*I was going to say "and if your insurance lets you get procedures done out of town" but...Canada.
posted by capricorn at 12:17 PM on February 27, 2016
*I was going to say "and if your insurance lets you get procedures done out of town" but...Canada.
posted by capricorn at 12:17 PM on February 27, 2016
1. What is different about living alone instead of living with roommates that I will not be prepared for or not expect?
Even if you're a neat-freak, you will often give in to the temptation to let clutter lie around or skip cleaning.
2. How do I make sure I am not a total hermit, now that I will have the option to do so, a pretty demanding job, and my worst instincts are often pretty hermit-esque?
It's much easier to have friends over and hold impromptu gatherings when you live alone. Take advantage of it, and be pro-active about inviting people. Depending on your apartment setup, get to know some of your neighbors.
My first time living alone, I got really lucky in that I had the sweetest woman, semi-retired, living next door who I could rely on to chat when I got lonely, or even help out in small ways.
Honestly, I resisted living alone for the longest time even after I could afford it because I was afraid of becoming a hermit, but it ended up being fine.
3. What can I do now to prepare for this situation/setting up the apartment that will make it easier? I get actual possession on April 1 but don't have to leave my current place until May 1.
What's your furniture situation? Get the minimum furniture you need (bed, a chair, kitchen utensils), but I would hold off on buying a couch or dining table or decorative items till you move in and feel out the space. It's a good idea to keep a watch out and bookmark potential pieces on furniture store websites, and it's fun to read through apartmenttherapy and the like if you're into decor.
Also, consider how long you'll stay in the apartment, how long you plan to live alone, etc. when deciding how much to spend.
posted by redlines at 12:31 PM on February 27, 2016
Even if you're a neat-freak, you will often give in to the temptation to let clutter lie around or skip cleaning.
2. How do I make sure I am not a total hermit, now that I will have the option to do so, a pretty demanding job, and my worst instincts are often pretty hermit-esque?
It's much easier to have friends over and hold impromptu gatherings when you live alone. Take advantage of it, and be pro-active about inviting people. Depending on your apartment setup, get to know some of your neighbors.
My first time living alone, I got really lucky in that I had the sweetest woman, semi-retired, living next door who I could rely on to chat when I got lonely, or even help out in small ways.
Honestly, I resisted living alone for the longest time even after I could afford it because I was afraid of becoming a hermit, but it ended up being fine.
3. What can I do now to prepare for this situation/setting up the apartment that will make it easier? I get actual possession on April 1 but don't have to leave my current place until May 1.
What's your furniture situation? Get the minimum furniture you need (bed, a chair, kitchen utensils), but I would hold off on buying a couch or dining table or decorative items till you move in and feel out the space. It's a good idea to keep a watch out and bookmark potential pieces on furniture store websites, and it's fun to read through apartmenttherapy and the like if you're into decor.
Also, consider how long you'll stay in the apartment, how long you plan to live alone, etc. when deciding how much to spend.
posted by redlines at 12:31 PM on February 27, 2016
It's fantastic.
1. The house is as clean as you want it. If you don't care, it's messy, if you do, it's tidy. No resentment either way because there's no one to be resentful.
2. You eat exactly what you like. Cereal for dinner. Go nuts.
3. You only have your stuff. It's as pretty as you want.
4. If you mess something up, it's not someone's heirloom whatsit.
5. Schedule some place to be a couple nights a week, then hermit as much as you like.
Congrats!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:50 PM on February 27, 2016
1. The house is as clean as you want it. If you don't care, it's messy, if you do, it's tidy. No resentment either way because there's no one to be resentful.
2. You eat exactly what you like. Cereal for dinner. Go nuts.
3. You only have your stuff. It's as pretty as you want.
4. If you mess something up, it's not someone's heirloom whatsit.
5. Schedule some place to be a couple nights a week, then hermit as much as you like.
Congrats!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:50 PM on February 27, 2016
I love living alone. ~6mo in, one thing I'd do differently is 1. not wait so long to decorate and 2. set myself up to have people over. By that second one, I mean getting some furniture that's not just for me (if budget allows, but I really just mean like, a sofa and a table multiple people can sit around), and trying to do a better job keeping things a relatively short distance from "presentable and comfortable" in case I decide I want to have friends over (or a gentleman caller, tbh).
posted by en forme de poire at 5:42 AM on February 28, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by en forme de poire at 5:42 AM on February 28, 2016 [2 favorites]
Tips for moving in:
1. Having a month to move in is a wonderful luxury. Move as much as your stuff in before you move yourself in, because if you are coming from a roommate situation you liked, you might feel a little lonely and out of sorts at first, but having your stuff in place will help with that.
2. That said, if you've been living with someone else, you might not have a ton of furniture of your own. Think about what you feel like you really need to be comfortable and start there. Don't buy a bunch of stuff that you don't really like just to fill the place up. I just moved cross-country and left all my furniture in my old city, so I just went through this. I realized what I really needed to start was something to sleep on, something to sit on, and someplace to put stuff on while I was sitting. So I got a bed, a couch, and a side table. Eventually I will need more stuff like a dining table/chairs, but I can wait until I find ones I really like.
3. The same actually goes for other household goods like kitchenware and bathroom stuff. Buy the basics now (stuff to cook and eat with, a shower curtain) and then buy other things as you need them.
Tips for living alone:
1. A lot of people who live alone find themselves watching TV more than they used to because it can get quiet. If you'd rather not have that situation, set yourself up well to listen to music, or podcasts, or even audio books.
2. Definitely be proactive about socializing. I am an extrovert, and one of the things I actually like about living alone is that it forces this proactivity, because otherwise I'm going to get a little stir-crazy without regular social interaction. If you're an introvert, you might need to force yourself to do this.
3. Give yourself some time to find your best "living alone style." when I first lived alone, I read Apartment Therapy a lot and felt guilty I wasn't doing DIY decor projects every weekend, but honestly, I'm not much of a homemaker. What I really like is to have an active life outside my apartment and then feel comfortable and relaxed when I'm at home. If you're more of a homebody, you may enjoy home projects more and want to throw yourself into them. It's your home! You get to do what you want.
4. Soooooo nthing what people say about cleanliness. It's so easy to descend into dishes and laundry chaos when you live alone. Find a cleaning rhythm that works for you. The upside is that if you're living alone in a small apartment, it doesn't take much time to clean. You also get to decide your standards. For instance, I really hate to have a sink full of dirty dishes, so that's a priority for me. OTOH, I don't really care about having a sparkling clean bathtub at all times, so I probably only wash that a few times a year. You get to decide!
posted by lunasol at 12:25 PM on February 29, 2016 [1 favorite]
1. Having a month to move in is a wonderful luxury. Move as much as your stuff in before you move yourself in, because if you are coming from a roommate situation you liked, you might feel a little lonely and out of sorts at first, but having your stuff in place will help with that.
2. That said, if you've been living with someone else, you might not have a ton of furniture of your own. Think about what you feel like you really need to be comfortable and start there. Don't buy a bunch of stuff that you don't really like just to fill the place up. I just moved cross-country and left all my furniture in my old city, so I just went through this. I realized what I really needed to start was something to sleep on, something to sit on, and someplace to put stuff on while I was sitting. So I got a bed, a couch, and a side table. Eventually I will need more stuff like a dining table/chairs, but I can wait until I find ones I really like.
3. The same actually goes for other household goods like kitchenware and bathroom stuff. Buy the basics now (stuff to cook and eat with, a shower curtain) and then buy other things as you need them.
Tips for living alone:
1. A lot of people who live alone find themselves watching TV more than they used to because it can get quiet. If you'd rather not have that situation, set yourself up well to listen to music, or podcasts, or even audio books.
2. Definitely be proactive about socializing. I am an extrovert, and one of the things I actually like about living alone is that it forces this proactivity, because otherwise I'm going to get a little stir-crazy without regular social interaction. If you're an introvert, you might need to force yourself to do this.
3. Give yourself some time to find your best "living alone style." when I first lived alone, I read Apartment Therapy a lot and felt guilty I wasn't doing DIY decor projects every weekend, but honestly, I'm not much of a homemaker. What I really like is to have an active life outside my apartment and then feel comfortable and relaxed when I'm at home. If you're more of a homebody, you may enjoy home projects more and want to throw yourself into them. It's your home! You get to do what you want.
4. Soooooo nthing what people say about cleanliness. It's so easy to descend into dishes and laundry chaos when you live alone. Find a cleaning rhythm that works for you. The upside is that if you're living alone in a small apartment, it doesn't take much time to clean. You also get to decide your standards. For instance, I really hate to have a sink full of dirty dishes, so that's a priority for me. OTOH, I don't really care about having a sparkling clean bathtub at all times, so I probably only wash that a few times a year. You get to decide!
posted by lunasol at 12:25 PM on February 29, 2016 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
My worst hermiting impulses do get the better of me sometimes. The way I have found to avoid this is to schedule things (exercise, language class, work social events). Even better is if you can have a strong support group- is your best friend still living in the area? Can they be sure to get you some human contact on a regular basis?
Make sure you give a key to a neighbor. Getting locked out is worse when no one else can come save you.
If you used to cook collectively, your food habits will probably have to change, because cooking for one is a different beast. It's nice to have something you can make and freeze so you only thaw an individual portion; or if you don't mind having the same thing all week, you can cook a big meal or two on the weekend and then have food for a whole week.
Also, walk around naked. It's the best part of living alone.
posted by nat at 6:11 PM on February 26, 2016 [9 favorites]