Obsessing over Instagram is really bad for your health.

February 24, 2016 7:52 AM

I care too much about social media, particularly Instagram. Help me change my attitude!

I have two Instagram accounts, one personal and one for my art / Etsy shop. I notice myself becoming really invested in my accounts: spending lots of time editing my photos, trying not to post too much for fear of annoying people, routinely looking up ex boyfriends (who I don't follow), women that my current romantic interest was once interested in (who I don't follow), and other accounts which are bound to make me feel bad.

I pay attention to how many "likes" I'm getting, and how many followers I'm gaining or losing. I noticed that I lost 5 follows on my art account recently, and it bummed me out, MUCH more than a healthy level of bummed-out-ness for such a thing.

Someone close to me knows that I put a lot of stock into my internet persona, and says that those likes, follows, unfollows, and everything else shouldn't effect my mood one way or the other. I agree with that, but I don't know how to let it be a neutral thing. I see these art accounts with thousands of followers and I think, OMG, what if that was me?! But in reality, it's just a bunch of people double tapping a photo that they "like" for whatever reason. Deep down, I can understand its lack of meaning.

I also find myself to be a "checker" when it comes to the internet (and other things): opening apps regularly, checking my email, checking my bank account, checking the regular mail, checking checking checking. I check my phone first thing when I wake up in the morning. I think it's mainly a symptom of having constant smartphone access, as we do in our current world. Even right now, while I'm typing this, I find myself reaching over to my phone to see how many "likes" I'm getting on an Instagram photo.

It seems that the main point of Instagram is creating boosts of positive chemicals in peoples' brains. I did take a 2 week break from Instagram over the holidays, which was much-needed, but I actually felt a bit lonely. Ideally, I would post 1-2 times a week on Instagram, and not focus so much on likes and followers.

This likely has its roots in a self-esteem deficit, which is troubling, but I'm working on it. Aside from that deeper issue, can you help me put less emphasis on Instagram? How can I let it become a neutral thing?

I feel like a teenager in a popularity contest. I'm too old for this!

posted by sucre to Human Relations (6 answers total)

Best answer: I would suggest deleting the app from your phone. Once or twice a week, if you need to post something for your work account, re-download, log in, and post your photo. It's not THAT much extra work to do 1-2 times per week, but it will stop the constant checking throughout the day.

Another thing you might try to do is institute both morning and bedtime routines that DON'T involve checking your phone. I personally am really bad at this, but I have friends who swear by it, so I think it's worth a try to see if it could work for you. Basically the idea is to come up with a plan for mornings like "Ok, when my alarm goes off, I will get up and wash my face and take a shower and do a bit of yoga BEFORE I'm allowed to check my phone." (Or whatever morning things make sense for you.) And same thing in the evening, the phone gets turned off and tucked away 15 or 30 minutes before bedtime. Again, I personally don't do this and I don't think it works for everyone, but it seems to be good for enough people that I think it is worth at least experimenting!

Finally, another idea is to turn off notifications on your phone. I cannot tell you how much my life has improved since I turned off Facebook and Instagram notifications! Of course I can still go into the app and see what is new. But there's not that big red circle with a number pinging my brain that I have an unfinished task. And, I have to actually unlock the phone and choose to open the app, rather than seeing that notification that I should check facebook on my lock screen. For me, this has really calmed the compulsion to constantly be thinking about the app because there aren't the constant push notifications. Personally I have left the email notifications on because of the nature of my job, but you could consider whether it is possible/good for you to turn those off too.
posted by rainbowbrite at 8:00 AM on February 24, 2016

Best answer: If you don't want to delete the app then, yes, turn off notifications, and also put Instagram in its own folder and put that folder on its own "page" on your phone (the last page).

Also don't keep your phone in your bedroom, or at least don't keep it within reach of your bed.

Checking instagram is a habit, but there are a lot of little barriers you can create that will slow you down from checking it.
posted by mskyle at 8:28 AM on February 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Oh hey! Also, a post on just this topic popped up on my feedly, so you might check it out and see if any of her ideas resonate...
posted by rainbowbrite at 8:41 AM on February 24, 2016

Best answer: I would set goals for your business and then adhere to those rather than just "up is good, down is bad."

So...when you set up these accounts what was your goal? For Etsy, are you selling more or less than you had hoped? Is this something that money invested (Facebook/Instagram ads, Google ads) would be more effective at than trying to create an organic audience? If you just thought "no way would I spend $200 on ads" then consider that you are spending way more than that in life energy.

If you're selling enough, let it go. If no, come up with a real marketing strategy and do that rather than making it about your emotional investment. _Care_ about your work, _engage intellect_ about marketing. Have a schedule, post to schedule, tweak it based on results.

For your personal stuff probably other strategies will work better but I kind of suggest that keeping yourself a the primary audience would help.

I know this goes against every Amanda Palmer advice but I have built brands' social media and watched many people burn out and while there are people who can make personal work for business and art all together, I suspect they are both rare and lucky in when they found their audiences. If it's bothering you, treating it more like a business might help.
posted by warriorqueen at 9:48 AM on February 24, 2016 [2 favorites]

Best answer: This likely has its roots in a self-esteem deficit

Years ago, studies showed a correlation between working long, hard jobs and watching lots of TV in the evening. In other words, people who were too tired to go out watched more TV than folks not too tired to do other things. I think obsessively checking likes, followers, etc is the new "I watch TV because I am too tired to do other things." At least, it sure as hell works that way for me: Posting to certain kinds of social media is low hanging fruit and if it gets liked/faved/upvoted/retweeted/whatever, I get a small buzz and I feel alive for a second, when, in reality, I am basically brain dead and drooling on myself.

It has helped me to look for substitutes with similar dynamics in terms of input that do not have the same potential real world impact on social fabric. This may be why certain kinds of Facebook games are"addictive": You get the same thrill of "Oh, I did a thing and some number went up!" Or whatever, without any real world impact.

So, look for lazy press and click alternatives to scratch that itch, but do what warriorqueen advised with your social media accounts and use them in a goal oriented way -- and, yes, for your personal one, just do what floats your boat and stop caring what other people think. If they like it, bonus! If they don't, so what?

Also, you sound lonely. Checking ex boyfriend's accounts, etc is the kind of thing I do when I am incredibly lonely. Social media is the potato chips of socializing: you can't eat just one, yet, no matter how much you consume, you do not feel sated. Find some other avenue to get more of your emotional needs met. Instagram cannot fill that need.

Best of luck.
posted by Michele in California at 12:24 PM on February 24, 2016 [4 favorites]

Response by poster: You all are THE BEST. This is all wonderful advice. I have indeed made a habit of turning off notifications and logging out of/removing Instagram at times, which definitely helps as it sometimes "blocks" that checking habit enough to stop it, for awhile anyway. It almost feels obsessive compulsive sometimes (which I've had experience with since childhood). It really feeds into that need. Ugh.

Thanks for all the thoughtful, helpful, and personal advice!
posted by sucre at 8:55 PM on March 11, 2016