How can I help my partner get a job?
January 26, 2016 11:40 PM Subscribe
My partner lost their job at the end of last year and is in the process of looking for new employment. So far it is proving to be an overly difficult process. I want to help, however I can, but I'm a bit out of my depth.
This is in the USA however I am not an American (whereas partner is), which makes many of my suggestions less useful. I have only a few local connections and the jobs they cover have requirements that my parter cannot meet (e.g. degree, experience).
Their experience mostly consists of customer service jobs, with some food handling. They have previously worked in a supervisory position in a retail store, but have no formal qualifications. I know they are incredibly capable and will succeed in almost any position they are given, if only it were possible to get a foot in the door.
They have been applying to everywhere -- retail, quick service, temping places, etc. -- with no takers so far. It has been incredibly frustrating, and their financial situation is worsening. What can I do to help the job search?
(Needless to say I am providing whatever emotional support I can, driving them around when I am available, some financial support where appropriate, etc.).
This is in the USA however I am not an American (whereas partner is), which makes many of my suggestions less useful. I have only a few local connections and the jobs they cover have requirements that my parter cannot meet (e.g. degree, experience).
Their experience mostly consists of customer service jobs, with some food handling. They have previously worked in a supervisory position in a retail store, but have no formal qualifications. I know they are incredibly capable and will succeed in almost any position they are given, if only it were possible to get a foot in the door.
They have been applying to everywhere -- retail, quick service, temping places, etc. -- with no takers so far. It has been incredibly frustrating, and their financial situation is worsening. What can I do to help the job search?
(Needless to say I am providing whatever emotional support I can, driving them around when I am available, some financial support where appropriate, etc.).
And,
3. "at the end of last year" was just a month ago. Aside from bouncing from one minimum wage job to another, a fast transition is quite rare.
posted by yesster at 12:54 AM on January 27, 2016
3. "at the end of last year" was just a month ago. Aside from bouncing from one minimum wage job to another, a fast transition is quite rare.
posted by yesster at 12:54 AM on January 27, 2016
My apologies.
"bouncing from one minimum wage job to another" is inherently insensitive in ways I didn't realize until I tried to fall asleep.
posted by yesster at 2:25 AM on January 27, 2016 [3 favorites]
"bouncing from one minimum wage job to another" is inherently insensitive in ways I didn't realize until I tried to fall asleep.
posted by yesster at 2:25 AM on January 27, 2016 [3 favorites]
What does the future look like here? Is there a plan in place to gain more marketable job skills? Does it makes sense for your partner to return to school? Not university, but some kind of vocational program offered through your local Community College. Nursing, Emergency Medical Technology, auto mechanics, Business. Doing entry-level jobs, with no plan to gain education needed to progress means that your partner will forever be at the mercy of a volatile job market with low pay and poor or non-existent benefits.
It sucks but having specific skills, and maintaining and refining the throughout your working life is the way to get a job, and to thrive in it.
I started in customer service with the phone company. I learned new skills and took classes and moved into sales, then Sales Engineering. I had a fantastic career right up until 2008 when I took a buy out after a merger. Then I had to get new skills and start a new career.
Keep applying at all and sundry jobs. This would be via the computer, with a resume. Going into fill out paper applications....no. Apply to actual job openings.
Other than helping put together a resume, there's not a lot you should do for your partner. It's up to them to get up, look for work on-line and submit on-line applications. Looking for a job IS their job. Just as you wouldn't go to a place of employment and coach them there, other than offering support and assistance, leave this to them.
Why did your partner lose their last job? Is there something to learn from that experience? Were they fired, or laid off? Sometimes we need to sit down and really think about what it is that we want, what we don't want and what we need to get what we want.
Good Luck.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:07 AM on January 27, 2016
It sucks but having specific skills, and maintaining and refining the throughout your working life is the way to get a job, and to thrive in it.
I started in customer service with the phone company. I learned new skills and took classes and moved into sales, then Sales Engineering. I had a fantastic career right up until 2008 when I took a buy out after a merger. Then I had to get new skills and start a new career.
Keep applying at all and sundry jobs. This would be via the computer, with a resume. Going into fill out paper applications....no. Apply to actual job openings.
Other than helping put together a resume, there's not a lot you should do for your partner. It's up to them to get up, look for work on-line and submit on-line applications. Looking for a job IS their job. Just as you wouldn't go to a place of employment and coach them there, other than offering support and assistance, leave this to them.
Why did your partner lose their last job? Is there something to learn from that experience? Were they fired, or laid off? Sometimes we need to sit down and really think about what it is that we want, what we don't want and what we need to get what we want.
Good Luck.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:07 AM on January 27, 2016
The US economy appears quite "bifurcated" (someone else's word) at the moment. There's strong economic activity, however, the employment market remains tight outside specific growth categories like coding etc.
Most companies appear to be reserved in hiring staff outright. The "shortcut" if possible is often contract work > hire. Get on with a company part-time or on a contract basis.
That has two outcomes. The first is that it allows the company to assess the fit before committing to full employment. The second is that it's always easier to get a job when you have a job. Thus, the thinking can be 1) from no employment to some employment, and then 2) from some employment to preferred employment.
Finally, the last nuance is attitude. Companies want to hire someone who's confident and forthright – someone who values themselves and will produce work of standard. It's not always easy to project that confidence when the reality is that the wolf sits at the door, but if one can pull off that confidence, the problem resolves more quickly.
One tip to do that in adverse situations is to absolutely believe the present situation is temporary and to depersonalise it. Being out of work is hard, but a lot of people are out of work. Especially in America, people are coached to believe that they are their work, and that being out of work represents a dent in the value of a person. Internalised, that can lead to feelings of helplessness and weakness – directly the opposite of what employers generally look for.
Thus, your partner would do well to separate themselves from any negative emotions around this event, and own it. "Yes, my last position was eliminated and now I'm looking for a new one." It happens. Most people have bene out of work at some point in their lives.
Once its been depersonalised, the next step is to visualise the security that one feels when in full time employment, being part of a team, and spending time in an economically-productive capacity. By visualising that, one begins to locate the feelings of desperation, and can mitigate them when on the job search.
That's the final perspective. When searching, there can often be the belief that any time not spent job searching as wasted. Thus, people can begin applying for jobs continually, even for positions that do not suit them. The rejection from those positions hits them, and discouragement increases.
The way to break that cycle is to recognise that one is ultimately not entirely in control of the process. There is a limit to how many jobs are available, and how many fit. We must accept that and work with it, rather than against it. That looks like taking what can be an emotional situation, and turning it into a rational one. A person only needs 1 job, and so work backward from there. Most companies use 100 candidates :: 10 interviews : 1 hire. Focus on 100 candidacies rather than 10,000 jobs out there.
So three things:
1) Sequence the job search by moving from no income to some income. Then from some income to preferred income.
2) Change the emotional state to confidence. "Here's my value and what I'm looking for. This is what I can do for you."
3) Recognise that one is operating within a system, and there's a small number of opportunities. Time is best spent cultivating those opportunities, rather than looking at 10,000 job listings and thinking "I just need one of these..."
posted by nickrussell at 5:19 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
Most companies appear to be reserved in hiring staff outright. The "shortcut" if possible is often contract work > hire. Get on with a company part-time or on a contract basis.
That has two outcomes. The first is that it allows the company to assess the fit before committing to full employment. The second is that it's always easier to get a job when you have a job. Thus, the thinking can be 1) from no employment to some employment, and then 2) from some employment to preferred employment.
Finally, the last nuance is attitude. Companies want to hire someone who's confident and forthright – someone who values themselves and will produce work of standard. It's not always easy to project that confidence when the reality is that the wolf sits at the door, but if one can pull off that confidence, the problem resolves more quickly.
One tip to do that in adverse situations is to absolutely believe the present situation is temporary and to depersonalise it. Being out of work is hard, but a lot of people are out of work. Especially in America, people are coached to believe that they are their work, and that being out of work represents a dent in the value of a person. Internalised, that can lead to feelings of helplessness and weakness – directly the opposite of what employers generally look for.
Thus, your partner would do well to separate themselves from any negative emotions around this event, and own it. "Yes, my last position was eliminated and now I'm looking for a new one." It happens. Most people have bene out of work at some point in their lives.
Once its been depersonalised, the next step is to visualise the security that one feels when in full time employment, being part of a team, and spending time in an economically-productive capacity. By visualising that, one begins to locate the feelings of desperation, and can mitigate them when on the job search.
That's the final perspective. When searching, there can often be the belief that any time not spent job searching as wasted. Thus, people can begin applying for jobs continually, even for positions that do not suit them. The rejection from those positions hits them, and discouragement increases.
The way to break that cycle is to recognise that one is ultimately not entirely in control of the process. There is a limit to how many jobs are available, and how many fit. We must accept that and work with it, rather than against it. That looks like taking what can be an emotional situation, and turning it into a rational one. A person only needs 1 job, and so work backward from there. Most companies use 100 candidates :: 10 interviews : 1 hire. Focus on 100 candidacies rather than 10,000 jobs out there.
So three things:
1) Sequence the job search by moving from no income to some income. Then from some income to preferred income.
2) Change the emotional state to confidence. "Here's my value and what I'm looking for. This is what I can do for you."
3) Recognise that one is operating within a system, and there's a small number of opportunities. Time is best spent cultivating those opportunities, rather than looking at 10,000 job listings and thinking "I just need one of these..."
posted by nickrussell at 5:19 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
What can you do for him? Really, nothing. There are great suggestions above for what he can do, but you can't find a job for him. But searching for a job is super-difficult, and it can help him to have someone on his side acknowledging that. Listen to his frustrations. Thank him for working so hard on applications. Tell him he's awesome even if they never call him back.
Then, you can ask what you can do to help. Ask if he wants you to proofread his cover letters, if he needs any help organizing his job search (see below), if he wants to run practice interviews, if you should look for articles about how to interview or leave him alone, etc.
re: organization - for me, there's a spreadsheet with dates of when I first saw the ad, when I did anything about it, any dates mentioned (when it was posted, when the position is open until), when I heard back from them, etc.; then each app gets a folder with the ad, the letter, the version of the resume, etc. I'm sure this isn't relevant to all types of job searches, it kind of grew out of the way my field works, but there's probably some kind of note-keeping that would help. It's not that I'm so likely to forget that I applied someplace, but that having dates written down helps when I feel like I haven't heard back (and it's only been 2 weeks) and it helps to see that huge list when I'm feeling like a slacker (look how much I've done!) and it helps to go over the list and see that there were really only 3 of those I was super-excited about (so it's not the end of the world that nobody's contacted me yet).
posted by aimedwander at 7:32 AM on January 27, 2016 [2 favorites]
Then, you can ask what you can do to help. Ask if he wants you to proofread his cover letters, if he needs any help organizing his job search (see below), if he wants to run practice interviews, if you should look for articles about how to interview or leave him alone, etc.
re: organization - for me, there's a spreadsheet with dates of when I first saw the ad, when I did anything about it, any dates mentioned (when it was posted, when the position is open until), when I heard back from them, etc.; then each app gets a folder with the ad, the letter, the version of the resume, etc. I'm sure this isn't relevant to all types of job searches, it kind of grew out of the way my field works, but there's probably some kind of note-keeping that would help. It's not that I'm so likely to forget that I applied someplace, but that having dates written down helps when I feel like I haven't heard back (and it's only been 2 weeks) and it helps to see that huge list when I'm feeling like a slacker (look how much I've done!) and it helps to go over the list and see that there were really only 3 of those I was super-excited about (so it's not the end of the world that nobody's contacted me yet).
posted by aimedwander at 7:32 AM on January 27, 2016 [2 favorites]
Make sure your partner's resume has been reviewed by someone who has hired recently. And get them to read Ask a Manager regularly (it's an AskMe favorite, and has such great advice.
Encourage your partner to keep a regular schedule of submitting applications, but also understand that he needs downtime and can't apply 24/7. When I was unemployed, I spent "work hours" (usually about 10-4) applying for jobs, but let myself do regular fun stuff evenings and weekends. It's really easy to get sucked into feeling guilty for not spending every single waking minute working on your job search.
posted by radioamy at 11:28 AM on January 27, 2016
Encourage your partner to keep a regular schedule of submitting applications, but also understand that he needs downtime and can't apply 24/7. When I was unemployed, I spent "work hours" (usually about 10-4) applying for jobs, but let myself do regular fun stuff evenings and weekends. It's really easy to get sucked into feeling guilty for not spending every single waking minute working on your job search.
posted by radioamy at 11:28 AM on January 27, 2016
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Job searching is emotionally draining.
I can only suggest two things on top of what you've mentioned.
1. Employers these days never respond to applicants. They just don't. It sucks, it hurts, it's the most demoralizing part of the process. As an applicant, I put in all this effort, jump through hoops, upload my resume, fill in their forms, spend sometimes hours. Only to hear nothing. This is the new normal. And it is horrible. There's no words to describe how painful it is to hear nothing.
2. Sometimes you might think that there's a perfect job for your partner. And they really should go for it. And you wonder why they don't pursue it, or pursue it in the way you think they should. Please just accept that your partner has reasons. You don't need to know those reasons. Please reserve judgment of your partner for not pursuing those opportunities.
Good luck.
posted by yesster at 12:08 AM on January 27, 2016 [5 favorites]