Answering the questions of a preschool scientist

January 7, 2016 6:30 PM

I take care of a 3-year old boy who is extremely curious about just about everything. Sometimes, I'm utterly stumped. Help us learn together!

I spend 6 hours per day answering "Why?" in response to everything you can think of! Sometimes, the whys seem like more of a reflexive response, but oftentimes he asks more detailed questions, such as:

"Are germs wet or dry?"
"Why are walkie-talkies crackly?"
"Why is wool itchy?"
"What shape are mysteries?" (my favorite)

Other times he'll make comments like:

"That's because of gravity!"
"I'm curious about… " (seeing if a cardboard tube works as a ramp, for example)

A typical conversation might go:

Me: washing the dishes
Kiddo: "Why are you washing the dishes?"
Me: "Because they're dirty!"
Kiddo: "Why?"
Me: "When we eat, we get germs on the dishes, and we want to wash away the germs and the old food."
Kiddo: "Why?"
Me: "Because germs can make us sick."
Kiddo: "Why?"

and so on.

Can you suggest resources that might help us learn together? He really enjoys books that describe how things work (he'll happily listen to a description of how to fix a faucet leak, and ask follow-up questions). I want to find ways to explain things to him clearly and simply. Or, maybe there are websites/books I can get more of a background on things I'm clueless about (like, exactly why ARE walkie-talkies crackly?!) and be better equipped to answer some of his questions, and have a more educated discussion on my part.

I previously taught preschool special ed, so I have lots of kid experience, but never with a sweet question-asking child like him! Sometimes I call him the Why Guy.

Thanks!

posted by sucre to Education (16 answers total)

I bet he would love David Macaulay's The Way Things Work books and any of the learning books illustrated by Stephen Biesty. They have information you'll be able to easily relay to him, and absolutely gorgeous, engaging, detailed illustrations for him to devour on his own.
posted by phunniemee at 6:49 PM on January 7, 2016 [3 favorites]

Thing Explainer maybe.
posted by Grumpy old geek at 6:50 PM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]

Best answer: I don't have resources to share but I do have two responses in my pocket that seem to work pretty well with Why kids as an interim solution:

1. Well, you tell me. Why might _____?
2. I don't know! Let's go find out. Meet me at the computer/my phone/the bookcase.

The first response works well with most kids because it prompts them to think for themselves and start articulating their own opinions. Usually these opinions are pretty amazing and I like interviewing little kids with my phone so I can capture their delightful ideas.

The second response shows the kid that you are not the only resource in the room that he can use when he wants to know something. It also shows that it's okay to admit when you don't know something and modeling how to be positive and proactive about knowledge is always a good thing for young learners.

PS: Little dude sounds like a treasure. Thank you for wanting to help him learn more about the world.
posted by Hermione Granger at 6:51 PM on January 7, 2016 [13 favorites]

Oh, and if you have a Siri enabled Apple device, that could be a fun thing to teach him how to use with your supervision.
posted by Hermione Granger at 6:52 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I read somewhere that kids at that why stage are really craving input. So if my kid went down the why path I tried to stay on the main topic but not answer the exact question. (Because some questions really just can't be answered)

Why do you like flowers?

Because looking at them makes me happy.

Why?

The interesting colors and thinking of how good they smell make me happy.

Why?

Did you know bees (long story about bees and flowers) ......

Oh.


Now- this kid is asking some good questions and you may have to blow his mind with a 1 or 2 minute lecture on germs and antibodies and white blood cells to get yourself a break.

He clearly is very curious about the world and has some deep thinking he wants to do. The kid should see this.com is a complication of terrific short videos about everything. Plankton, dominos falling, origami, art, etc. I would say a couple videos a day (they are normally pretty short) might give him something to silently ponder.
posted by ReluctantViking at 7:09 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

"Are germs wet or dry?" They're wet. They're made mostly of water.

"Why are walkie-talkies crackly?" Because they use AM, which picks up any kind of interference like lightning strikes, motors turning on and off, and suchlike. (But a 3 year old wouldn't understand that answer.)

"Why is wool itchy?" The fibers are stiff and stick out, pushing against your skin.

"What shape are mysteries?" A shape you didn't expect. That's why they're mysterious!
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 7:13 PM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

He really enjoys books that describe how things work

Seconding Thing Explainer. As a bonus (in my experience) people familiar with more than ten hundred words will be entertained (as well as illuminated).

More generally, listen to Hermoine Granger - can you guide him to learning about learning?
posted by pompomtom at 7:29 PM on January 7, 2016

There are quite a few weird facts and Why books for kids available from National Geographic.
posted by jillithd at 7:38 PM on January 7, 2016

Best answer: I have one of those. It helps I've found to clarify now with "Do you want a short answer or do you want me to find the long answer?" and if it's the long answer, then we go and look up the answers on the computer or in her books- I google for some related videos and pictures, or sometimes we have a book on the subject already. About 30% of the time, she just wants the short answer. It has also helped to say "I think that is a great question but I don't have the time to find the long answer now. Can you ask me again in half an hour?" if I'm busy at the time - teaches her to patience too.

thekidshouldseethis.com is a great site, and googleimages with safety turned on is super helpful. Also wikipedia in simple english. Mine has several deep interests that we have big books on (anatomy, death, animals, paintings) and for the rest, we go to the library and get a bunch of single subject books at one go, so I know most of the questions this week will be bird-related for example.

The big things is to acknowledge that it's an interesting question and verbalise out loud how you think of answering it - either you know the answer directly, or to demonstrate how you find the answer - by going "Oh hmm, maybe I can find out in this book here about the Moon. I will look in the back at the index. M is for Moon. Hmm. The Moon is on page 96, so let's read what they say on page 96 about the Moon during the day. Yes, it is still there and it doesn't have any water on it. Do you want to see the photograph they took of the moon with a satellite?" That teaches him how to find an answer eventually on his own and that his curiosity and questions are welcome and interesting.

And give him experiments to do. Mine can do kitchen science experiments for an hour easily - any kind of science type kit will keep her calm and involved for a long period.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 8:29 PM on January 7, 2016 [11 favorites]

The Usborne lift the flap books might hit that sweet spot of variety, colour and fun information. The Space one seems to be the most popular at our library.
posted by eisforcool at 9:48 PM on January 7, 2016

This is a common "affliction" in kids in my family. Of course there are tons of resources for gaining answers to the constant whys, but the other technique is to say "I don't know. Why do you think it's that way?" This should be deployed when you can actually listen to kid rambling because you want to validate their curiosity, not belittle it, but goodness it can be entertaining, too.

It's also important that an inquisitive kid gets an early start to understanding that people who they think are smart and deserve respect don't always know things, and it's okay not to know things. Kids with a bad case of the whys, in my family at least, often grow into perfectionists who use a lack of detailed knowledge to rationalize not taking action. (Ask me how I know!) So make sure they know it's okay to say "I don't know".

You can also start showing him how to find his own answers to his questions. It will be much easier when he's reading, but right now you can definitely teach him basic experimental processes. You can even make a specific space for doing experiments. His cardboard tube ramp curiosity is a perfect setup for this. Or if he has questions about sensory things that are safe, like "why do you toast bread?" you could do an "experiment" where he tries various stages of toasted and untoasted bread and help him record his opinions and come to his own conclusions. With my 3 year old cousin this works well because he is always very good about vocalizing his opinions of things but lacks age-appropriate introspection so his opinions fly all over the place and affect his mood. When he gets to methodically experience something and then is asked his opinions throughout, it helps him form a structure for listening to himself and then expressing it. Which also cuts down on the whys.
posted by Mizu at 3:00 AM on January 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

Two really important things in my mind.

1) Please take the time to give them the "real" answer - kids hear too many people (including teachers unfortunately) just make things up. If you don't know let them know you don't know (they need to know this is ok) and work to find the answer together.

2) Make them work a bit - you don't teach a young scientist anything by telling them the answer...what you really need to do is teach them to think and reason things out themselves. Clearly at 3 this is early, but don't give them the whole answer - give them the important pieces to the puzzle and help them work out the answer themselves. They will soon start to not only ask you questions, they will give you trial answers...and as a benefit you build confidence in them when they can figure it out themselves.
posted by NoDef at 5:19 AM on January 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

Best answer: My 3-year-old is right in the thick of the WHYYYY??? phase right now and it is driving me around the bend. I did a little reading and consensus is that kids this age aren't really asking why so much as they're asking to talk about a certain topic with you, using the only language they have. So they may not really be asking "why are the dishes dirty?" so much as "can we please talk about the process of doing the dishes, and perhaps also the general notion of being a helper around the house?"

I've been responding more to my son's why questions with just general statements about the topic rather than answering the specific why question (which, as you note, is often nonsensical) and then inviting him to tell me what he thinks or how he feels about the topic, with specific queries.
posted by soren_lorensen at 6:03 AM on January 8, 2016 [3 favorites]

Best answer: One important thing to note is that "why?" is an incredibly powerful way for the child to get you, the adult, to KEEP TALKING. 3 year olds are at a phase of language acquisition where they are word sponges, and they need you to use all your words in as many different contexts as possible so they can, uh, learn them all. Seriously, they put on like 200 words a week, vocabulary wise. It is, of course, general curiosity as well - but as others have noted,
posted by Fraxas at 7:23 AM on January 8, 2016 [3 favorites]

We got a computer when my youngest was 2. We had some preschool oriented software and we bookmarked some parent approved kid friendly informational sites that the kids were allowed to go to on their own. He gained computer autonomy when, on his own, he figured out that flipping the mouse upside down in his lap and using his thumb to manipulate the exposed roller ball got the same navigational results on a physical scale he could cope with. Prior to that, the need to move his entire arm to maneuver the mouse was both exhausting and too imprecise, resulting in a lot of misclicks and frustration.

If you can arrange limited computer access of some sort -- say, a cheap kid's tablet that you download educational videos to -- and a smidgeon of adult support for accessing it, this can really reduce the burden on the adult. Audio books also go over well with some tykes who are information sponges but can't yet read.
posted by Michele in California at 1:05 PM on January 8, 2016

Response by poster: A late thank-you to everyone who has answered here! Many lovely ideas which are much appreciated for future mutual learning and good conversations.
posted by sucre at 7:05 PM on January 31, 2016 [1 favorite]