Should I give a LinkedIn reference to someone I don't rate?

January 6, 2016 3:31 PM

I was head hunted by a recruitment agent through LinkedIn about 6 months ago, which has resulted in me starting a job I LOVE this week. Today the agent called me up and asked me to give her a LinkedIn reference . I felt a little on the spot so I said yes.

The thing is, I have actually been considering giving this agent the feedback (privately) that I found her communication style to be incredibly pushy and essentially disinterested in what I wanted (to be fair, this something true of most recruitment agents I have come across). She also seemed to be approaching the issue of pay with the company in mind, rather than me. i.e. I told her my price and she started telling me how I should be happy with less, it was more than what I was on, it would still be a good increase to take 5-10K less. I told her that I wouldn't move for less, and luckily my new company met my asking price. There were points throughout the recruitment process where I considered withdrawing my application for the role, purely because of how difficult I found working with her.

Anyway, to be honest I would be fine to say that she worked hard and got me a great job (which is true) and I don't think I need to elaborate. However, I'm a little worried about having my professional online presence forever tied to someone who I think is kind of an idiot.

I really don't know much about LinkedIn so I could well be completely off base, but I know I will be expected to be more active professionally on social media in my new role, and I don't want to mess it up!

So my questions are:
1. Could publicly praising someone who is, in fact, an idiot, reflect badly on me? (ie. would it show bad judgement)
2. If you were a potential client or supplier, would seeing a (very brief) recommendation of any head hunter raise any concerns for you? Would it imply you weren't trustworthy? That sounds a little silly now I type it out but let me know your thoughts!
3. BONUS If I do make the recommendation, what should I write ? Or if I don't make the recommendation, what should I tell her?

Sorry if these are silly questions, I'm quite a private person (particularly online) so I'm not sure if my discomfort is legit or if I'm just being paranoid.

Thank you so much, happy New Year!!!

posted by Dwardles to Work & Money (17 answers total)

I don't understand why you can't go back on this reference agreement (its' not like it was a contract you signed) and privately message them with what you have said here and say "with this in mind, I hope you understand that I don't feel like I can give a public endorsement as it wouldn't be entirely honest and I'm not comfortable doing that".

You are under no obligation to write this reference. You are absolutely not under any obligation to write anything untrue (or not how you feel) as a reference. If you don't want to write it, just don't. If you want to, you can explain to them, but you are under no obligation to explain yourself either.
posted by Brockles at 3:44 PM on January 6, 2016 [2 favorites]

People endorse total strangers on Linked In, people rarely give it a thought or dig deep into who is recommending who. To me, she doesn't sound like an idiot at all, but like someone who was hired by that company (and not by you). I've gotten and discounted much advice from agents because I know it's all about their commission. It is what it is.

If "she worked hard and got me a great job" then just elaborate on that. Head hunters are not perfect people who have only your interests at heart- and most people already know that. No need to rail against the system, especially when it did get you what you wanted. Any other expectations seem, to me, to be a bit naive. Why alienate someone who did a good job?
posted by TenaciousB at 3:48 PM on January 6, 2016 [13 favorites]

Best answer: I would not want to do this either. In your shoes, I would hold off if only because you are a private person online and might not have the right instincts about what is fine/what looks tacky in your industry.

The recruiter sounds like a bullying type, so I wouldn't want to be bullied into this, either.
posted by easter queen at 3:55 PM on January 6, 2016 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Personally, I'd take advantage of the format of LinkedIn and endorse them for a skill, but not actually recommend.
posted by corb at 3:57 PM on January 6, 2016 [8 favorites]

Best answer: I agree with the idea of endorsing for a specific skill rather than writing an actual recommendation.
posted by rainbowbrite at 4:03 PM on January 6, 2016 [1 favorite]

I agree with the "endorse but do not review" approach - usually I would say "I only write specific reviews for people who have been my close co-workers for a significant enough time period that I have a good idea of the range of their skills and work style". On the other hand, endorsing for a skill can be done with a single click so it's not a big commitment, and hopefully it will get the recruiter off your back, while at the same time everyone in your industry will know that it's totally meaningless.
posted by matildaben at 4:13 PM on January 6, 2016 [5 favorites]

She did what headhunters do, and it sounds like she did it competently. Unless I missed something she didn't lie to you, or screw up your negotiation, or misrepresent the job. And you say you're happy with the results. So I don't see why you shouldn't endorse her just the way you described it above "she worked hard and got me a great job". People will take it for what it is.
posted by mr vino at 4:13 PM on January 6, 2016 [9 favorites]

Just procrastinate and never get around to doing it. If you wouldn't recommend them, then don't. They sound awful.

I don't think it needs some elaborate explanation. Keep putting it off til they stop asking you.
posted by KMoney at 4:25 PM on January 6, 2016 [5 favorites]

I know nothing about LinkedIn, or the etiquette or how personal recommendations tend to be, but maybe you could say something vague, like "our styles were a bit different, but she worked hard to get me a great job." Or even more direct like "I found her a bit difficult personally, but she worked hard etc.".

Like I said, I don't know the etiquette here, but I think it is important that however off-putting you found her, she DID get you the job.
posted by catatethebird at 5:06 PM on January 6, 2016

One way to think about whether to give a recommendation is to picture what you would tell a professional acquaintance about the person, especially if they come across your name while looking at the recruiter's profile and ask you about it. Would you give a positive verbal reference that reiterates a written one without hesitation or would your frustration with the recruiter's pushiness end up coming out?
posted by A hidden well at 5:54 PM on January 6, 2016

Endorse her with a simple, she got me a job a love." I don't think many people take LI references seriously anyway, so it's really not worth stressing about either way.
posted by COD at 7:03 PM on January 6, 2016 [3 favorites]

As someone who has done letters of recommendation before (and read a lot of them too), she shouldn't want a tepid review, which you would give her. I know I can see through that kind of thing. I tell people who ask for recommendations if I can't give them a fully positive one or if I can only speak to certain things.

If she is as awful as you say, I'd just let it go. Either give her the feedback to her email or just forget to do the recommendation. Your word is important, and what you write about her is on your LinkedIn page as well as hers. You don't want someone you know going to this person based on your opinion.
posted by mulkey at 7:21 PM on January 6, 2016

Personally, I'd forget to do the review, and forget to respond to her emails, and never answer her calls.
posted by AppleTurnover at 8:37 PM on January 6, 2016

If you don't really like her and wouldn't want someone going to her because of your word, then I wouldn't write it.
posted by salvia at 10:46 PM on January 6, 2016

Something like 80% of my endorsements on LinkedIn are from people I have never met nor have contact with. I guess it's a tactic that headhunters use to try to get a "quid pro quo" out of me. Like, they endorse me for "Java" or whatever, and I don't delete their cold call email (which I do every time anyway).

Anyway, the point being, I doubt anyone is going to judge your reputation based on having given this guy a recommendation.
posted by sideshow at 10:35 AM on January 7, 2016

Life is really short. Do what you said you would do for someone who was critical, if not perfect, in your achieving a valuable goal. "X persuaded me to apply for a great job and was an important part of how I got it."
posted by MattD at 4:02 PM on January 8, 2016

Response by poster: Thanks for your responses, they helped me look at this in ways I wouldn't have considered, and being a LinkedIn novice using the endorsement feature hadn't occurred to me.

Thought you might be interested in an update. I mentioned the request to a partner at my new company, who told me they had just given the recruitment company in question notice, because they weren't representing the company well to candidates. She said she wouldn't even talk to the recruiter I worked with, because she was completely awful, and- I quote- a numpty. She recommended I do what some of you have suggested- put it off indefinitely.

As my new company doesn't want to be associated with this person or the company she works for, I'm leaning towards following that advice.
posted by Dwardles at 5:34 AM on January 9, 2016