grad school coping mechanisms
December 28, 2015 9:34 PM Subscribe
I'm halfway done with an intense 1 yr biology MS intended to get people into med/dental school. There are less than 20 people in the program, making me feel like I'm existing in some bizarre microcosm where everything I do (particularly grades/academics-wise) is under scrutiny. My classmates are competitive in a way that I'm not used to and don't like. I'm dreading my second semester. Help me make it through successfully.
My roommate is nice and has similar career goals as me. I consider her a good friend. I find that it's been helpful to have someone to commiserate with, but she definitely stresses out a lot and can amplify my anxieties at times. If I try to cultivate a positive attitude, she'll often counter my comments with something negative. She went to a top university for undergrad and studied science, whereas I went to a big, fun state school and studied humanities. Because of my background, I feel inferior to my classmates academically, because a lot of the coursework seems to come easier to them. Additionally, my friends from HS and college are not focused on academics so they've never been competitive about that stuff. I feel like I went from being the smart one in my social circles to the weak link.
I've been smoking pot at night and that helps some. I think it's counterproductive in some ways, and am going to try to focus on exercise and meditation more as outlets for stress. I got a C in a class during fall semester which is not OK in grad school, and everyone is always asking/talking about/comparing themselves re: grades which becomes truly exhausting. I get so sick of talking about school all the time. I am required to take an extra class in the spring to make up for the C. Part of me thinks I can fix how I feel by throwing myself into my studies 110%, but I'm scared of falling into a depression if I deprive myself of social connections. I don't really go out on weekends, mostly because I feel guilty doing anything non-school related. I volunteer a few hours a week as part of the program, and that definitely makes me feel good and useful.
Over the summer I took the DAT (dental school entrance exam) and did really well after studying my ass off. I embarked on my grad school journey feeling confident in my intelligence and capabilities and was in a really good place mentally. By the end of fall semester, I felt drained, lonely, anxious, sad, and had lost my confidence. I gained 10 pounds. Coming home for the holidays made everything worse, and now I feel like I'm in a deep rut. I don't want to start off the semester like this.
I guess the two biggest things I'm looking to combat are the feelings of inferiority and the deep loneliness. I'm an outgoing introvert, so I enjoy alone time but I am very friendly with everyone in the program. I still feel like I need to have some separation though. I have a couple of non-school acquaintances that I was thinking of making more of an effort to hang out with.
Please help me restore the balance in my life. I want/need to get excellent grades, but I also want to be healthier physically, have meaningful friendships, and maintain my sanity.
Thanks in advance.
My roommate is nice and has similar career goals as me. I consider her a good friend. I find that it's been helpful to have someone to commiserate with, but she definitely stresses out a lot and can amplify my anxieties at times. If I try to cultivate a positive attitude, she'll often counter my comments with something negative. She went to a top university for undergrad and studied science, whereas I went to a big, fun state school and studied humanities. Because of my background, I feel inferior to my classmates academically, because a lot of the coursework seems to come easier to them. Additionally, my friends from HS and college are not focused on academics so they've never been competitive about that stuff. I feel like I went from being the smart one in my social circles to the weak link.
I've been smoking pot at night and that helps some. I think it's counterproductive in some ways, and am going to try to focus on exercise and meditation more as outlets for stress. I got a C in a class during fall semester which is not OK in grad school, and everyone is always asking/talking about/comparing themselves re: grades which becomes truly exhausting. I get so sick of talking about school all the time. I am required to take an extra class in the spring to make up for the C. Part of me thinks I can fix how I feel by throwing myself into my studies 110%, but I'm scared of falling into a depression if I deprive myself of social connections. I don't really go out on weekends, mostly because I feel guilty doing anything non-school related. I volunteer a few hours a week as part of the program, and that definitely makes me feel good and useful.
Over the summer I took the DAT (dental school entrance exam) and did really well after studying my ass off. I embarked on my grad school journey feeling confident in my intelligence and capabilities and was in a really good place mentally. By the end of fall semester, I felt drained, lonely, anxious, sad, and had lost my confidence. I gained 10 pounds. Coming home for the holidays made everything worse, and now I feel like I'm in a deep rut. I don't want to start off the semester like this.
I guess the two biggest things I'm looking to combat are the feelings of inferiority and the deep loneliness. I'm an outgoing introvert, so I enjoy alone time but I am very friendly with everyone in the program. I still feel like I need to have some separation though. I have a couple of non-school acquaintances that I was thinking of making more of an effort to hang out with.
Please help me restore the balance in my life. I want/need to get excellent grades, but I also want to be healthier physically, have meaningful friendships, and maintain my sanity.
Thanks in advance.
Captain Awkward is a great resource for dealing with school + social life. She has some great "scripts" to help redirect negative conversations, as well as amazing advice on self care.
I highly recommend reading through some of her Q+As, you will find much that you can no doubt relate to.
Good luck!
posted by TenaciousB at 9:43 PM on December 28, 2015
I highly recommend reading through some of her Q+As, you will find much that you can no doubt relate to.
Good luck!
posted by TenaciousB at 9:43 PM on December 28, 2015
That sounds tough. I'd just tell people, hey I'm already stressed about school and trying to stay positive, let's talk about something else. Most people in your program can probably relate, even if they're hiding it.
Reaching out to friends not in your program sounds like a great idea. Especially if you know some people who are in grad school but in a different program, post-bacc or otherwise. I found they understood the stress, the weird social dynamics, and how all-encompassing it was better than my friends in the working world, who thought I was lucky I could still run errands in the middle of the day.
Good luck, you can totally do this.
posted by matildatakesovertheworld at 9:52 PM on December 28, 2015
Reaching out to friends not in your program sounds like a great idea. Especially if you know some people who are in grad school but in a different program, post-bacc or otherwise. I found they understood the stress, the weird social dynamics, and how all-encompassing it was better than my friends in the working world, who thought I was lucky I could still run errands in the middle of the day.
Good luck, you can totally do this.
posted by matildatakesovertheworld at 9:52 PM on December 28, 2015
I don't really go out on weekends, mostly because I feel guilty doing anything non-school related.
I have done this - it's an awful, awful kind of self-flagellation that is hugely counterproductive (unless you really have to stay in to finish a specific thing) - winds up making everything feel intolerable, and is ultimately demotivating. Go out on a Friday so you have Saturday for work, and/or do a little Saturday thing, just for a bit. See a movie. Hang out with people not in your program on weekends, yes. Plan around it.
These people are there for one reason only (grades, not connections), and they're incredibly anxious about it. Don't compare yourself to them. They may have an advantage if they studied sciences, but if they were all that, they wouldn't be doing, essentially, a post-bacc (and maybe that's where some of the anxiety's coming from). You're a humanities person, so of course it's going to be new to you. Focus on your own progress. Four months, that's all it is. You have what's needed, per that DAT.
posted by cotton dress sock at 10:10 PM on December 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
I have done this - it's an awful, awful kind of self-flagellation that is hugely counterproductive (unless you really have to stay in to finish a specific thing) - winds up making everything feel intolerable, and is ultimately demotivating. Go out on a Friday so you have Saturday for work, and/or do a little Saturday thing, just for a bit. See a movie. Hang out with people not in your program on weekends, yes. Plan around it.
These people are there for one reason only (grades, not connections), and they're incredibly anxious about it. Don't compare yourself to them. They may have an advantage if they studied sciences, but if they were all that, they wouldn't be doing, essentially, a post-bacc (and maybe that's where some of the anxiety's coming from). You're a humanities person, so of course it's going to be new to you. Focus on your own progress. Four months, that's all it is. You have what's needed, per that DAT.
posted by cotton dress sock at 10:10 PM on December 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
I’m currently in the middle of a very intense two-year Master’s, in a different field but a very similar environment. Here’s what’s worked for me:
- Not falling into the negativity trap. I know it can be very tempting to commiserate with each other over how terrible you have it. It feels good in the short term, but long term it just drags you down and makes life harder. Try and dissociate from your roommate when she starts off on her negative spiral; I’ve started to do that and it’s done wonders for my sanity.
- DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHER PEOPLE. Seriously. You know that saying, ‘Comparison is the thief of joy?’ It is absolutely true, and nothing will fuck with your head faster than comparing yourself to other people. Here’s how I deal when that particular set of weasels starts eating my brain:
a) Remind myself that my only competition is myself. As long as I’m doing well, what does it matter what other people do? Focusing on your own performance rather than worrying about other people is the best way to stay sane in grad school.
b) I remind myself that what I’m seeing is not the complete picture, that my friends who are doing better than me may have problems that I don’t know about. I’m speaking from experience; during one of the worst times in my life, nobody on the outside knew I was falling apart, because I was so good at maintaining the facade. Another very good friend of mine has battled depression and suicidal tendencies while maintaining a 4.0 GPA.
- You are not your grades. I’m going to say that again. YOU ARE NOT YOUR GRADES. I know it can feel like it, in a hyper-competitive pressure-cooker environment like this, and especially when you’re not doing well, but your grades don’t define you, and a failing grade doesn’t mean you’re a failure at life. So you got a C in that one class. Big fucking deal. You know where you went wrong, take a deep breath and let it go. Focus on what’s ahead of you.
- Please, please do not labour under the mistaken impression that you need to study all the time and not do anything else in order to succeed. In fact, that’s the worst thing you can do, not give your brain and body time to recover. Some advice:
a) Quit the pot. No, seriously, stop destroying the braincells you need for grad school.
b) Set up a schedule - one that incorporates a decent amount of sleep as well as breaks for food, exercise, and fun stuff - reading a book, watching a movie, whatever. Treat grad school like a job - you wouldn’t work 100-hour weeks and expect to stay sane, would you?
c) Seconding the advice to reach out to friends who aren’t in your program. I actually make it a point to take a class outside my department every semester (usually audited) just so that I don’t wind up seeing the same dozen people day in and day out. If an academic class seems like too much work, try an extracurricular of some sort, or just set up regular coffee dates - I literally have a list of people in my planner so that I don’t fall too far into an academic black hole.
… and that turned out to be quite a diatribe. TL;DR: Take a deep breath, stop obsessing so much, and remember to take breaks. You’ll be fine. Feel free to MeMail me if you want to chat with someone who gets it.
posted by Tamanna at 12:28 AM on December 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
- Not falling into the negativity trap. I know it can be very tempting to commiserate with each other over how terrible you have it. It feels good in the short term, but long term it just drags you down and makes life harder. Try and dissociate from your roommate when she starts off on her negative spiral; I’ve started to do that and it’s done wonders for my sanity.
- DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHER PEOPLE. Seriously. You know that saying, ‘Comparison is the thief of joy?’ It is absolutely true, and nothing will fuck with your head faster than comparing yourself to other people. Here’s how I deal when that particular set of weasels starts eating my brain:
a) Remind myself that my only competition is myself. As long as I’m doing well, what does it matter what other people do? Focusing on your own performance rather than worrying about other people is the best way to stay sane in grad school.
b) I remind myself that what I’m seeing is not the complete picture, that my friends who are doing better than me may have problems that I don’t know about. I’m speaking from experience; during one of the worst times in my life, nobody on the outside knew I was falling apart, because I was so good at maintaining the facade. Another very good friend of mine has battled depression and suicidal tendencies while maintaining a 4.0 GPA.
- You are not your grades. I’m going to say that again. YOU ARE NOT YOUR GRADES. I know it can feel like it, in a hyper-competitive pressure-cooker environment like this, and especially when you’re not doing well, but your grades don’t define you, and a failing grade doesn’t mean you’re a failure at life. So you got a C in that one class. Big fucking deal. You know where you went wrong, take a deep breath and let it go. Focus on what’s ahead of you.
- Please, please do not labour under the mistaken impression that you need to study all the time and not do anything else in order to succeed. In fact, that’s the worst thing you can do, not give your brain and body time to recover. Some advice:
a) Quit the pot. No, seriously, stop destroying the braincells you need for grad school.
b) Set up a schedule - one that incorporates a decent amount of sleep as well as breaks for food, exercise, and fun stuff - reading a book, watching a movie, whatever. Treat grad school like a job - you wouldn’t work 100-hour weeks and expect to stay sane, would you?
c) Seconding the advice to reach out to friends who aren’t in your program. I actually make it a point to take a class outside my department every semester (usually audited) just so that I don’t wind up seeing the same dozen people day in and day out. If an academic class seems like too much work, try an extracurricular of some sort, or just set up regular coffee dates - I literally have a list of people in my planner so that I don’t fall too far into an academic black hole.
… and that turned out to be quite a diatribe. TL;DR: Take a deep breath, stop obsessing so much, and remember to take breaks. You’ll be fine. Feel free to MeMail me if you want to chat with someone who gets it.
posted by Tamanna at 12:28 AM on December 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
You sound like me, one year ago. Right now, I am still recovering from a burnout and/or stress/work-related depression. Don't be me! The good thing is, you are realising now that the way you deal with school is unhealthy and you need coping mechanisms, so good for you! Here are some things that helped me:
- Realise you are not the only one. There are probably people in your program who feel the same way. There is nothing wrong with you. Sometimes I think these struggles are a natural consequence of being in an academic environment..
- Take the time to relax and recharge. I too felt guilty when I did anything other than studying. I found out that this is actually really counterproductive. By relaxing I can gain new energy that I can spend more effectively on studying.
- Do something non-school-related! I got a job offer for parttime work and I am so grateful I took it! My self-worth increased immensely because I didn't need to value myself purely by academic standards. I'm not saying you need to find a job, a new hobby or volunteering would work equally as well I think. Doing and being good at someting non-school-related really helped me feeling more confident.
- Another thing that has helped immensely and I hear has helped other people in similar situations is cultivating your creativity. I am now an avid knitter. I don't know why or how it works, but being creative brings me a certain calmness and confidence.
- Find positive people to surround yourself with. As you recognize yourself, it can be exhausting to have the people around you resonate the anxiety you already feel. Also, it's okay to tell people you don't want to talk about something other than school.
- Stop letting your self-worth being defined by your grades and stop comparing yourself to your classmates. This is so so so hard and I find myself still struggling with this and it is hard not to, when you find yourself in an academic environment where this seems to be stimulated. But you, your mental and physical health and your happiness, are more important than your grades!
- Lastly, my therapist has also been a main reason I'm doing better now. Of course, I was way more stuck than you sound right now in this question. Therapy gave me more insight in my thought patterns and the way I deal with stress and helped me develop new and better coping mechanisms. Might be something to consider. Probably your university offers free counseling for students and yours is a problem they probably encounter very often. Even a few sessions may help.
You will get through this :) And if you want to talk, feel free to memail :)
posted by leopard-skin pill-box hat at 2:46 AM on December 29, 2015
- Realise you are not the only one. There are probably people in your program who feel the same way. There is nothing wrong with you. Sometimes I think these struggles are a natural consequence of being in an academic environment..
- Take the time to relax and recharge. I too felt guilty when I did anything other than studying. I found out that this is actually really counterproductive. By relaxing I can gain new energy that I can spend more effectively on studying.
- Do something non-school-related! I got a job offer for parttime work and I am so grateful I took it! My self-worth increased immensely because I didn't need to value myself purely by academic standards. I'm not saying you need to find a job, a new hobby or volunteering would work equally as well I think. Doing and being good at someting non-school-related really helped me feeling more confident.
- Another thing that has helped immensely and I hear has helped other people in similar situations is cultivating your creativity. I am now an avid knitter. I don't know why or how it works, but being creative brings me a certain calmness and confidence.
- Find positive people to surround yourself with. As you recognize yourself, it can be exhausting to have the people around you resonate the anxiety you already feel. Also, it's okay to tell people you don't want to talk about something other than school.
- Stop letting your self-worth being defined by your grades and stop comparing yourself to your classmates. This is so so so hard and I find myself still struggling with this and it is hard not to, when you find yourself in an academic environment where this seems to be stimulated. But you, your mental and physical health and your happiness, are more important than your grades!
- Lastly, my therapist has also been a main reason I'm doing better now. Of course, I was way more stuck than you sound right now in this question. Therapy gave me more insight in my thought patterns and the way I deal with stress and helped me develop new and better coping mechanisms. Might be something to consider. Probably your university offers free counseling for students and yours is a problem they probably encounter very often. Even a few sessions may help.
You will get through this :) And if you want to talk, feel free to memail :)
posted by leopard-skin pill-box hat at 2:46 AM on December 29, 2015
Sign up for a class or club of some sort that ISN'T at school (and maybe is exercise related?). I took Irish step dance all through law school because as much as I loved my friends, I needed some time the fuck away from that fucking hot house, with normal people with normal priorities. Plan on the same thing in dental school ... A hiking club or a ballet class or a birdwatching meetup or something where you can forge relationships with grown-ass adults who aren't all living in the hot house.
If you need nightly help to relax for sleep, see a doctor; a sleep aid or anxiety med is probably better than self-medicating, which is a trap a lot of people fall in to during professional school. Like, A LOT. Some of your intense, grade-obsessed friends are right now secretly developing substance abuse problems they will battle for years.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:49 AM on December 29, 2015
If you need nightly help to relax for sleep, see a doctor; a sleep aid or anxiety med is probably better than self-medicating, which is a trap a lot of people fall in to during professional school. Like, A LOT. Some of your intense, grade-obsessed friends are right now secretly developing substance abuse problems they will battle for years.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:49 AM on December 29, 2015
Med students are very grade conscious and competitive. Part of it is wanting to get into the best possible school. Do you know where you'll be applying and what the admission criteria is? Figure out what you need to do to go where you want and focus on that, not on the other students if you can.
posted by betsybetsy at 6:04 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by betsybetsy at 6:04 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
I did a similar program in one year to get into med school (where I'm a student now). A few thoughts from the other side:
1. She went to a top university for undergrad and studied science, whereas I went to a big, fun state school and studied humanities. Because of my background, I feel inferior to my classmates academically.
Without being a total asshole about this, and recognizing that this advice is not the most mature attitude in the world: you're in this program because you were a humanities student who changed gears. It sounds like your classmates are in this program because they have already tried to be science students and done poorly. You should not feel inferior. Frankly... you should feel superior, because you are the one who isn't trying to clean up a mess. People who study science in undergrad and do well don't need to do a MS in biology in order to get into professional school, although I would absolutely believe that your classmates have told you buckets of lies about why they're in this program that have nothing to do with having been mediocre undergraduates.
2. got a C in a class during fall semester which is not OK in grad school, and everyone is always asking/talking about/comparing themselves re: grades which becomes truly exhausting. I get so sick of talking about school all the time.
Nope, nope, nope nope nope. Nope the fuck out of this. You are better than this and probably most of your classmates are too. It only takes a few grade comparing apples to spoil an entire social group through peer pressure and terrible attitudes. Opt out of any and all grade comparing discussions. Comparing grades is something children do. In my program, which was admittedly dysfunctional in its own ways, there was absolutely no culture of grade comparing and people who suggested or hinted at it were shut down pretty quickly. Grade comparing is good for literally no one and massively unproductive. If you want to compare grades, do it privately by comparing your grades against the GPA statistics for schools where you want to go. That's it.
3. I have a couple of non-school acquaintances that I was thinking of making more of an effort to hang out with.
Do this. Do this times 1000. Even if your classmates were wonderful, awesome, supportive people (and frankly they sound like wanks), it would be hugely beneficial to you to cultivate relationships outside of school. You need to spend time when school is not at the top of your mind and you need to spend time with people who remind you that getting into dental school is not actually the entire world. It will make you feel better, I guarantee that.
4. I guess the two biggest things I'm looking to combat are the feelings of inferiority and the deep loneliness.
Dig in, because these feelings usually get worse in medical school (and I can only assume in dental school). It's great that you're acknowledging them and actively looking for coping methods now, because you will need them even more later.
Finally, I don't know how old you are, but you sound young. There's no law that says that you have to go to dental school as soon as possible. There are tons of people in their 30s in my school and I personally know some med students in their 40s. It's OK to take some time to figure things out, especially if you do it while working a job that could be a potential career. A lot of the feelings you're dealing with now are going to follow you throughout your entire career if you stay on this path. It is 100% OK to take the time you need to make sure you are healthy and happy before you move on. It's better to pursue your goals and be two years older but happy and confident in your choices than to do everything immediately while struggling so much. I have a lot of older classmates, but I also have a lot of 22 year old classmates who "went from being the smart one in my social circles to the weak link" and are struggling with those feelings at the same time as they try to excel in a ridiculously difficult courseload. You want to start school ready to kick ass and it is absolutely OK if getting to that point means taking extra time.
posted by telegraph at 7:24 AM on December 29, 2015 [6 favorites]
1. She went to a top university for undergrad and studied science, whereas I went to a big, fun state school and studied humanities. Because of my background, I feel inferior to my classmates academically.
Without being a total asshole about this, and recognizing that this advice is not the most mature attitude in the world: you're in this program because you were a humanities student who changed gears. It sounds like your classmates are in this program because they have already tried to be science students and done poorly. You should not feel inferior. Frankly... you should feel superior, because you are the one who isn't trying to clean up a mess. People who study science in undergrad and do well don't need to do a MS in biology in order to get into professional school, although I would absolutely believe that your classmates have told you buckets of lies about why they're in this program that have nothing to do with having been mediocre undergraduates.
2. got a C in a class during fall semester which is not OK in grad school, and everyone is always asking/talking about/comparing themselves re: grades which becomes truly exhausting. I get so sick of talking about school all the time.
Nope, nope, nope nope nope. Nope the fuck out of this. You are better than this and probably most of your classmates are too. It only takes a few grade comparing apples to spoil an entire social group through peer pressure and terrible attitudes. Opt out of any and all grade comparing discussions. Comparing grades is something children do. In my program, which was admittedly dysfunctional in its own ways, there was absolutely no culture of grade comparing and people who suggested or hinted at it were shut down pretty quickly. Grade comparing is good for literally no one and massively unproductive. If you want to compare grades, do it privately by comparing your grades against the GPA statistics for schools where you want to go. That's it.
3. I have a couple of non-school acquaintances that I was thinking of making more of an effort to hang out with.
Do this. Do this times 1000. Even if your classmates were wonderful, awesome, supportive people (and frankly they sound like wanks), it would be hugely beneficial to you to cultivate relationships outside of school. You need to spend time when school is not at the top of your mind and you need to spend time with people who remind you that getting into dental school is not actually the entire world. It will make you feel better, I guarantee that.
4. I guess the two biggest things I'm looking to combat are the feelings of inferiority and the deep loneliness.
Dig in, because these feelings usually get worse in medical school (and I can only assume in dental school). It's great that you're acknowledging them and actively looking for coping methods now, because you will need them even more later.
Finally, I don't know how old you are, but you sound young. There's no law that says that you have to go to dental school as soon as possible. There are tons of people in their 30s in my school and I personally know some med students in their 40s. It's OK to take some time to figure things out, especially if you do it while working a job that could be a potential career. A lot of the feelings you're dealing with now are going to follow you throughout your entire career if you stay on this path. It is 100% OK to take the time you need to make sure you are healthy and happy before you move on. It's better to pursue your goals and be two years older but happy and confident in your choices than to do everything immediately while struggling so much. I have a lot of older classmates, but I also have a lot of 22 year old classmates who "went from being the smart one in my social circles to the weak link" and are struggling with those feelings at the same time as they try to excel in a ridiculously difficult courseload. You want to start school ready to kick ass and it is absolutely OK if getting to that point means taking extra time.
posted by telegraph at 7:24 AM on December 29, 2015 [6 favorites]
Forgive me for being blunt and perhaps even harsh in my assessment of your classmates. And those of you who were/are/will be pre-med students, forgive me if you're just not like this.
Pre-med students are pretty well known for being assholes. As someone who had the great joy of taking almost all of her classes with pre-med students during undergrad, I developed a healthy dislike for them for exactly the same features of this population that are making you unhappy right now. As a population, they tend not to be interested in biology/science/learning anything that isn't on an MCATs or will apply directly to their grades. Students, faculty and administration in the biosciences/chemistry/physics don't enjoy interacting with them.
Quite frankly they kind of suck the joy out of any classroom/teaching lab/research setting they wander into.
Don't worry too much about comparing yourself to them. You don't want to be a member of their club. Try hanging out with people who aren't pre-med but are interested in the sciences.
posted by sciencegeek at 10:06 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
Pre-med students are pretty well known for being assholes. As someone who had the great joy of taking almost all of her classes with pre-med students during undergrad, I developed a healthy dislike for them for exactly the same features of this population that are making you unhappy right now. As a population, they tend not to be interested in biology/science/learning anything that isn't on an MCATs or will apply directly to their grades. Students, faculty and administration in the biosciences/chemistry/physics don't enjoy interacting with them.
Quite frankly they kind of suck the joy out of any classroom/teaching lab/research setting they wander into.
Don't worry too much about comparing yourself to them. You don't want to be a member of their club. Try hanging out with people who aren't pre-med but are interested in the sciences.
posted by sciencegeek at 10:06 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
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1) Don't deny yourself the ability to recharge and define yourself by things other than academic performance. Know what your goal is-- if you need to keep your GPA above a certain number, for instance, and go hard to get there-- but don't work hard for the sake of working hard in the mistaken belief that you can work your way from where you are now to confidently-better-than-the-majority by cutting yourself off from life. Plus, if you do that and don't have a great semester, you will be in for a world of sadness.
2) Also acknowledge that you are coming at this from a humanities background and probably WILL struggle more than people who were steeped in this stuff for four years. Forgive yourself the C, try to identify what you could do better, and do that. Don't beat yourself up overly much. If it's important to get top grades, then strategise to make that happen (or change course if it's unrealistic).
3) Yeah, pot is probably bad for you now. Exercise, good sleep, eating well, and staying hydrated will probably be better.
I'm assuming that with the med school factor, top grades are probably super important. Be gentle with yourself, but also try making a calendar of your day from wake-up to sleep in 15-minute intervals. See what you can do that you're not doing now, so that you can work and play and feel like you're not going insane. Try to be disciplined about meeting study goals, and also about giving yourself breaks to do structured or unstructured destressing activities.
That's my best advice for getting through this!
posted by easter queen at 9:42 PM on December 28, 2015 [8 favorites]