Machiavelli Filter
December 27, 2015 1:16 AM Subscribe
I've been in the service industry for about six years now. I'm very knowledgeable and skilled, but not always the best at positioning myself well. TLDR: What do I do about an arrogant twit?
Right now, I've found myself in a job where I'm waiting tables with bartenders who I consider significantly less skilled (as bartenders) than myself. Most of them, I can work with. I do my job well; they do theirs without stepping on my toes. No sweat. One bartender, however, is very arrogant and also very bad - slow, awkward in his service, poor timing. He's more aggressive than me, as well, which means he tells me what to do, is short with me, etc. Meanwhile, I watch him spend fifteen minutes crafting a mediocre Old Fashioned cocktail, biting my nails and cringing. My question is this: I've never been one to complain about other people to management and higher ups. I feel like, usually, I'm only shooting myself in the foot when I complain. But 1) I'm not sure this strategy has served me well and may have put me at a disadvantage in the past and 2) this guy is really going to be a problem for me. Should I jump the gun and complain about him, perhaps even cost him his job (in an industry with insanely high turnover)? Or should I grin and bear it and deal with this schmuck and let him shoot himself in the foot?
Right now, I've found myself in a job where I'm waiting tables with bartenders who I consider significantly less skilled (as bartenders) than myself. Most of them, I can work with. I do my job well; they do theirs without stepping on my toes. No sweat. One bartender, however, is very arrogant and also very bad - slow, awkward in his service, poor timing. He's more aggressive than me, as well, which means he tells me what to do, is short with me, etc. Meanwhile, I watch him spend fifteen minutes crafting a mediocre Old Fashioned cocktail, biting my nails and cringing. My question is this: I've never been one to complain about other people to management and higher ups. I feel like, usually, I'm only shooting myself in the foot when I complain. But 1) I'm not sure this strategy has served me well and may have put me at a disadvantage in the past and 2) this guy is really going to be a problem for me. Should I jump the gun and complain about him, perhaps even cost him his job (in an industry with insanely high turnover)? Or should I grin and bear it and deal with this schmuck and let him shoot himself in the foot?
He's more aggressive than me, as well, which means he tells me what to do, is short with me, etc.
Make sure that management doesn't mistake his aggressiveness as management potential and make sure that he doesn't have authority over you. Politely decline his requests in order to do your own work, let him fail or get better.
posted by Candleman at 1:39 AM on December 27, 2015 [10 favorites]
Make sure that management doesn't mistake his aggressiveness as management potential and make sure that he doesn't have authority over you. Politely decline his requests in order to do your own work, let him fail or get better.
posted by Candleman at 1:39 AM on December 27, 2015 [10 favorites]
How is it you feel you don't position yourself well? I ask, because as a manager I don't usually think it improves anyone's positions to point out the flaws of others, especially if they are complaining about a new hire.
If you do decide to complain, make sure the complaint is grounded in fact and not emotional and that it is about points which directly relate to you. "Dave keeps asking me to refill his garnish jars. This has never been part of my task before. I don't mind helping him out when it's busy, of course, but is this part of my responsibilities?" or "Dave has shouted at me several times in front of customers during the past week. I know things have been rushed and he is quite new, but I don't feel I should be spoken to in that way. I have also communicated this clearly to him. Until now, we haven't had that kind of relationship between the bar team and the wait staff, and I would hate to see it develop."
Are there other bartenders on shift at the same time? I ask this because management will listen to concerns from them more quickly than from you? Do you know any of them well enough to bounce your concerns off him/her?
posted by frumiousb at 1:58 AM on December 27, 2015 [15 favorites]
If you do decide to complain, make sure the complaint is grounded in fact and not emotional and that it is about points which directly relate to you. "Dave keeps asking me to refill his garnish jars. This has never been part of my task before. I don't mind helping him out when it's busy, of course, but is this part of my responsibilities?" or "Dave has shouted at me several times in front of customers during the past week. I know things have been rushed and he is quite new, but I don't feel I should be spoken to in that way. I have also communicated this clearly to him. Until now, we haven't had that kind of relationship between the bar team and the wait staff, and I would hate to see it develop."
Are there other bartenders on shift at the same time? I ask this because management will listen to concerns from them more quickly than from you? Do you know any of them well enough to bounce your concerns off him/her?
posted by frumiousb at 1:58 AM on December 27, 2015 [15 favorites]
I agree with the advice above: keep it professional and polite, but not overly polite. If you feel like he is downloading stuff on you, calmly "clarify" with management whether there has been a change in responsibilities. If he really bugs you, avoid him as much as possible, changing shifts if necessary.
One thing I have learned the hard way is that the person who points out a problem can end up being associated with it in the boss's mind. This guy will hang himself eventually. You don't want any of it attached to you.
posted by rpfields at 2:43 AM on December 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
One thing I have learned the hard way is that the person who points out a problem can end up being associated with it in the boss's mind. This guy will hang himself eventually. You don't want any of it attached to you.
posted by rpfields at 2:43 AM on December 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
If it's taking this guy 15 minutes to make a mediocre cocktail, surely customers have been complaining? When they do, encourage them to fill out comment cards if you have them. Then you can mention to the manager that you've had numerous customer complaints about the speed and quality of the service they're getting from this bartender. Basically, the manager is more likely to listen to complaints from customers than complaints from you.
posted by hazyjane at 4:28 AM on December 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by hazyjane at 4:28 AM on December 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
You're right not to bitch about this guy to your manager. That's not to say that the consequences of his ineptitude shouldn't be felt. I might be inclined to say, "Paul, I'd like to comp table 6 their first round, it took 15 minutes for Carl to get the drinks out" This requires that your supervisor decide either to lose money or to take a hit on customer service. Trust me, that will make an impression. If that doesn't get results, say to your customers, "I'm so sorry it's taking so long to get your drinks, we're a bit backed up at the bar, let me get the manager for you." Then let THEM complain. A couple of those and dude will be under scrutiny.
If he asks you to do something for him, simply say, "Dude, I with I could help you, but I'm slammed. By the way, we're still waiting for the drinks at table 6, what's the ETA on those, they're getting ugly."
If he gets shirty and nasty with you just say, "You seem stressed, if you're using that tone with me, perhaps this isn't the right job for you." Just climb right into his head and rent space in there.
The idea is that you're always cool, professional and helpful--to a point, but you're not to be walked upon.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:14 AM on December 27, 2015 [22 favorites]
If he asks you to do something for him, simply say, "Dude, I with I could help you, but I'm slammed. By the way, we're still waiting for the drinks at table 6, what's the ETA on those, they're getting ugly."
If he gets shirty and nasty with you just say, "You seem stressed, if you're using that tone with me, perhaps this isn't the right job for you." Just climb right into his head and rent space in there.
The idea is that you're always cool, professional and helpful--to a point, but you're not to be walked upon.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:14 AM on December 27, 2015 [22 favorites]
WRT people bossing you around who aren't you boss, I've found it can be effective to say "Ok" when they tell you to do something, and then just not do it. Most non-psycopaths will drop the issue and/or find someone else to bother. Unfortunately the service industry attracts a disproportionate number of psychopaths...
posted by STFUDonnie at 8:32 AM on December 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by STFUDonnie at 8:32 AM on December 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
Generally people with social jobs aren't ignorant of other people's social skills and shortcomings. But the politics in play are important to consider. Innocent enquiries are better than outright complaints, to feel out the situation.
Ask around (without saying anything negative) as to how long he's been there and how long people have known him. Also being selective about when you ask this, a minor remark that he's not very fast at making drinks may be met with someone else's "Yeah, we know, but (insert reason we keep him around here)" or some other comment.
If you're unclear about this guy's level of authority at all, it's also something to ask innocently about, to someone you like and trust better if your boss isn't available - "Is he supposed to be someone who gives me orders? I'm just curious". They will tell you. There's showing someone the ropes, and then there's bossing the new hires around because they don't know any better and you can get away with it.
It's best to limit yourself to mild comments about his slow-ness and his lack of social skills to figure out the politics around this guy, and otherwise you should do your best to entirely disregard him if he's not interfering with your work. But his bossing you around is something to actually get sorted out.
posted by lizbunny at 10:50 AM on December 27, 2015
Ask around (without saying anything negative) as to how long he's been there and how long people have known him. Also being selective about when you ask this, a minor remark that he's not very fast at making drinks may be met with someone else's "Yeah, we know, but (insert reason we keep him around here)" or some other comment.
If you're unclear about this guy's level of authority at all, it's also something to ask innocently about, to someone you like and trust better if your boss isn't available - "Is he supposed to be someone who gives me orders? I'm just curious". They will tell you. There's showing someone the ropes, and then there's bossing the new hires around because they don't know any better and you can get away with it.
It's best to limit yourself to mild comments about his slow-ness and his lack of social skills to figure out the politics around this guy, and otherwise you should do your best to entirely disregard him if he's not interfering with your work. But his bossing you around is something to actually get sorted out.
posted by lizbunny at 10:50 AM on December 27, 2015
Ok, so there are two separate things here: skills, and attitude. Skills is a tricky one - he's new, so you look like an ass if you just complain about him without giving him a chance to learn, mentor him, work as a team, etc. At the same time, you want management to know that he is, in fact, weak and to checkpoint that periodically to see if he's making an effort to improve there and get up to the high-performance standard management likes to believe they stand for. I wouldn't actually 'complain' in my role as a fellow employee. What I would do is shift into informal 'old-timer who cares' grizzly sergeant Clint-Eastwood giving the young lieutenant advice mode. I'd take advantage of a moment with the manager alone sometime and be more like "Hey M, do you think B is working out? I'm doing my best to play Assistant Bartender for him but I can't do that forever. He's driving the customers and the wait staff nuts. If he's not getting better, we might be better off cutting him loose. What do you think?" And then accept that he's not going to get fired on the spot, but the seed is planted. Ideally, he gets better over the next few weeks and this complaint goes away.
For the attitude, that's something you can attack more directly. If he crosses the line to unprofessional or disrespectful, that's something you can report to your boss immediately and factually. For the just snarky stuff, retaliation usually works. "Hey, can you pick it up a little? You're the slowest one working here and it's costing me money." "I'm a server, not a bar-back. Are you asking me for a favor? Then you need to act like it."
posted by ctmf at 11:32 AM on December 27, 2015
For the attitude, that's something you can attack more directly. If he crosses the line to unprofessional or disrespectful, that's something you can report to your boss immediately and factually. For the just snarky stuff, retaliation usually works. "Hey, can you pick it up a little? You're the slowest one working here and it's costing me money." "I'm a server, not a bar-back. Are you asking me for a favor? Then you need to act like it."
posted by ctmf at 11:32 AM on December 27, 2015
Also I'd throw some stuff into that manager conversation that implied that I want the guy to work out. They've made an investment by hiring him, they're not going to want to throw it away lightly. "Do you want me to maybe coach him, show him how to be more efficient behind the bar? What can I do to help?"
This kind of puts you as "same team" mentally to the manager, so if you end up later in a petty dispute of some sort, you have a pre-existing benefit of the doubt as trying to make it work and being about the restaurant, not yourself. Also if the guy has powerful friends, you're not out to get him, you just want him to succeed.
posted by ctmf at 11:40 AM on December 27, 2015
This kind of puts you as "same team" mentally to the manager, so if you end up later in a petty dispute of some sort, you have a pre-existing benefit of the doubt as trying to make it work and being about the restaurant, not yourself. Also if the guy has powerful friends, you're not out to get him, you just want him to succeed.
posted by ctmf at 11:40 AM on December 27, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
Two things are going to happen. (A) schmuck keeps his job because he's someone important's son/nephew/friend/friend of a friend/etc., or (B) he'll get fired shortly for being slow + aggressive or belligerent with the wrong person.
Keep your job. Say nothing. Keep it professional. Don't be rude or too friendly. It's not worth it either way.
He may improve. That could happen. Stay out of it.
posted by jbenben at 1:31 AM on December 27, 2015 [16 favorites]