I want to screw without pain.

December 14, 2005 8:43 PM

I'm a guy who has really bad, stitch-like cramps during sex.

I'm a heterosexual 26-year-old who's been with his girlfriend for over four years now. In the past year, I started getting awful, painful cramps in my abdomen during sex. I get regular, vigorous exercise (though I am a smoker), eat well and enjoy a nice mix of hard and gentle sex.

I thought it might be due to eating or drinking alcohol beforehand, but as I've payed attention, this is not the only time it happens. We don't have much time together lately and it's really impacting my enjoyment of it, even if it's not every time. Therefore it affects her enjoyment of it because she knows it's going on and worries about me being in pain. I often worry it will start, which is distracting.

After about ten minutes it starts in and while there are positions which alleviate it, they don't do much for her and switching often hasn't been satisfying for both of us. The positions lessening the pain and switching to and from them don't seem to do much for us. We want more variety!

Why does this happen and how can I make it stop so I can fuck my girlfriend like we both enjoy?

posted by anonymous to human relations (12 comments total)

Are you remembering to breathe? People often hold their breath while engaging in any vigorous activity, and that can affect the muscles.

Various WebMD articles also say side stitches may be caused by various vitamin deficiencies (calcium and magnesium in particular). Do you take a multivitamin?
posted by occhiblu at 9:08 PM on December 14, 2005

Hmm. I've had the same problem, but the only thing your uber-healthy lifestyle has in common with mine is the coffin nails. Considering the affect that smoking has on blood circulation, it could be the problem.
Pretty flaky reasoning, I know.
It could also be that your abs aren't getting enough exercise in your regimen, or that the specific area that is cramping up only gets used during your currently infrequent lovin'.
Maybe yoga would help, or specifically targeting that area when you work out.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:10 PM on December 14, 2005

Enough salt (or meat for other minerals) in your diet?

Try chugging a gatorade an hour or two before vigourous delicto flagrante. If you don't get stitches, it's probably that you're electrolyte lite.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 9:31 PM on December 14, 2005

Are these really cramps, or pains? If the pain occurs when you are in positions that put some strain on your ab muscles, I would definitely get yourself checked for hernias.
posted by folara at 9:43 PM on December 14, 2005

Folara's question is a good one. Also, where precisely is the pain? "Abdomen" is a pretty big area containing all kinds of organs and muscles.
posted by Justinian at 10:13 PM on December 14, 2005

There's a weird Zen thing to relaxing during sex; I've had to learn it because the bottom of one of my feet sometimes gets clamped up.

What's helped me is just to say to my girlfriend "hold on a second", and slow things down. Makes it all last longer, and the foot cramp goes away after a couple of seconds.

Sex is relaxing in the same way that alcohol is a stimulant—which is to say that it's not, but it also is. If you express to your partner that you're having a cramp, there's no reason that it should ruin the sex; more likely, you can just "slow things down" for a second and relax. This often has the effect of making the sex even hotter. Sex is all about expectation and release.

This can also make sex even more tender, in my experience.
posted by interrobang at 10:23 PM on December 14, 2005

Your description of the symptoms could fit any number of causes, but I was in a similar situation recently that was found by ultrasound to be caused by a minor tear of an abdominal muscle. The solution: complete inactivity for a couple of months to allow the tissue to heal, which is very difficult for someone like me who is into all sorts of sports (and sex). If it's really serious, you should see a doctor.
posted by randomstriker at 10:44 PM on December 14, 2005

Breath. Breath deeply. Use your diaphragm.
posted by caddis at 11:09 PM on December 14, 2005

even better yet, breathe
posted by caddis at 11:09 PM on December 14, 2005

Water can help too, as dehydration can cause cramps. I sometimes get charlie horses, and a glass of water seems to prevent them.

And, of course, you shouldn't swim for half an hour after eating.
posted by klangklangston at 12:27 AM on December 15, 2005

Get potassium to alleviate the cramping. Eat bananas. If you are bi or if your gf is into guy-on-guy porn, eat bananas suggestively for her during sex.
posted by matildaben at 7:46 AM on December 15, 2005

Definitely seems doctor-worthy to me.
posted by abcde at 9:43 PM on December 15, 2005