Love vs. The Bomb: Should I become a Nuclear Missileer?
December 22, 2015 11:03 AM   Subscribe

I've been selected for USAF Officer Training School, as a Nuclear and Missile Operations Officer. Should I accept the opportunity?

“If I had more time I would have written you a shorter letter.”

I'm 33, with a 'useless' B.A. degree (sound engineering/media). I'm relatively smart and can be extremely disciplined when motivated, but have never been very ambitious. I've been working entry-level jobs my whole life, and need a positive change to build a real career. I want to establish myself, pay off my huge student loans, maybe show people I'm smart by earning an advanced degree in 'something', and make >$75k someday soon. I want love in my life, a good bit of fun and travel, and respect as a specialist in my work as a [insert career field here].

I really enjoyed working in media (audio post production), but the pay was not sustainable. I left that world to teach English in rural Japan, which I also enjoyed. While there, I did a lot of soul searching about my future career but nothing really stood out as my life's vocation. I decided to return to the U.S. and apply to OTS. I think I may have been romanticizing military life a bit, but I felt the challenge would help me grow as a person and could give my life some direction. Plus the years overseas was making me feel patriotic, and I had the urge to serve, working on something bigger than myself toward a better world. I was hoping for a Public Affairs job, as it seemed to be the best fit for my talents, interests, and values. I studied hard and scored high on the AFOQT test and put together a strong package.

I was confident I would get in, and got severely deflated when I didn't get accepted. I needed money so took an entry-level job in logistics with the intent of applying again. I volunteered more, polished up my package, and gave it another go but was rejected again. I didn't like the logistics work I was doing, but I toughed it out. Over the past 3 years, I've applied 4 times.

I decided that my most recent application would be my last shot, as I was close to aging out and I needed to move on with my life. My heart wasn't really in it anymore, maybe because I'd been rejected too many times, maybe because I was getting older, maybe because I was making progress in my career. I started soul searching again. I took a new job at a Fortune 500 doing logistics work (and I still don't really like the industry, it pays OK but nowhere near my target yet, but they're about to promote me). I met a girl, fell in love, and started seriously considering our future. I started looking into new careers. ...and then I got accepted into OTS.

So... I would be a Nuclear and Missile Operations Officer. I'm not ethically opposed to nuclear weapons as a deterrent, and with MAD I don't think I would ever actually have to push the 'end of world' button. But nukes sure seems like the suck, even with the recent 'force improvement program' initiatives. 24 hour alerts? Working underground? Bases in the middle of nowhere? Ugh. Although, I would probably learn some interesting stuff, could go home the day after 'deploying', and would fulfill the desire to serve.

Additionally, things are going really well with my girlfriend. She just got a great new job (she is very established in her career) which requires a relocation. We want to stay together. We decided that if I go to OTS we'd stay in a long distance relationship, and if not I'd find work and move in with her. I'm OK with moving if I can find a decent job in the new city. We've only been together for 6 months, but this is the healthiest relationship I've ever been in and it feels like the love is sustainable.

If I accept the opportunity to serve, I'm concerned about how this will affect my future. Sure, it might launch me into a great career down the road (right?) but maybe it's a dead-end experience and I'd be back to entry-level jobs in the civilian world after my stint. I'm in my thirties so I really need to get a move on. While adaptability is one of my strengths, I'm not sure how compatible I am with the lifestyle: I don't do well on less than 8 hours of sleep a night, I often resent authority figures if they're dumb (punk rock!), I'm artistically creative, and I like to do things my way. Also, I doubt the LDR would survive and this would be heart-breaking for me.

If I don't accept the opportunity to serve, I'm concerned that I'll harbor some serious resentment and I'll start ruminating. I don't want to feel any regret. I've been trying to get in for so long that it seems silly to pass it up. I also don't know what else I would do with myself. I am having a difficult time choosing a different career, and feel stuck with analysis paralysis. I've been doing lots of assessments and worked through a few books (What Color is Your Parachute, The Pathfinder, etc) but haven't found any other career paths to get fired up about. GF will be going from making less than me to making more than twice as much as me, and I anticipate some some new challenges as we adjust. If things don't work out with the GF, I'd still have a job (won't move without one), but I'd be alone in a city not as cool as my own.

Should I accept this opportunity, despite the job not being exactly what I want? Or should I give up the dream and follow love, and try to find something new to pursue?

tl;dr: I have the opportunity to become an Air Force officer, but I don't know if being a nuclear missileer is a good gig, plus I'm in love and I want to stay with my GF. What should I do?
posted by mannermode to Work & Money (25 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
I would take it, but that's just my gut reaction--I don't have any direct military experience so take that for what it's worth. Mostly I would encourage you to ask for specific feedback about over at https://www.reddit.com/r/AirForce/. You are likely to get more detailed answers about the role and what that life is like than you will here just because of the sheer number of participants.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 11:15 AM on December 22, 2015 [3 favorites]


Think about the skills you're going to get from the USAF with this kind of gig: you'll be supervising small crews in tight quarters; you'll be a trustee of high tech, ultra-high-confidence machinery and knowledge; you'll have some local autonomy as you cover your duties when the higher-ups are not around, and at some point could rise to where the only higher ups are at a distant AFB or inside a distant mountain somewhere.

Like a lot of military jobs, when you're on duty you'll have long stretches of boredom punctuated by brief moments of terror, and your stretches will probably run longer than most since, drills aside, we all benefit from you not having your job's climactic terror moment. In those stretches, you can develop yourself a bit. Study up on something you'd like to study in grad school, or refresh some of your education that's fading, like calculus with an acoustics concentration; something more useful to future-you than just watching "Wargames" over and over (rewarding though that is at the time).

I don't see that you have a career plan that goes along with the move-with-gf plan. If you go that route, you'll pretty much be dependent on her (which is great resentment-fodder, both ways) until you're able to get employed wherever she goes. You do have a sustain-relationship plan with the Air Force job, so that's good. For that reason, I'd say TURN YOUR KEY, SIR! The relationship will be difficult, but everyone in your job will be in the same boat with their relationships, and you'll learn the ropes of the LDR pretty quickly. Hopefully she can do the same.
posted by Sunburnt at 11:23 AM on December 22, 2015 [4 favorites]


Best answer: To start with my credentials: I am a military officer. My father was a military officer. In my time as a military officer, I have been in recruiting units, ROTC units, and (briefly) worked at the U.S. Military Academy. Most of my closest friends are or have been military officers. And I use the sum total of my experience in these matters to tell you this:

If you are not certain whether you want to become a military officer, Do not do it. Whether it's because of a significant other, family, ethical concerns, money issues... if there is a single reason that is big enough for you to seriously ponder whether this is a thing you want to do, walk away. You will be in this job for four years at minimum. That is a long time to wait after you realize that you hate it.
posted by Etrigan at 11:27 AM on December 22, 2015 [19 favorites]


What kind of certainty is there these days about the job you'll have after OTS? I've heard horror stories (perhaps urban legends?) about people who are promised one thing by the military and end up doing something completely different. Unless that can be guaranteed I'd be wary of the bait and switch.

If I'm way off base (heh), someone please correct me.
posted by ElDiabloConQueso at 11:32 AM on December 22, 2015


What Etrigan said! Your only guarantee it you're in for at least 4 years. Looks like thinks are heating up, how will a long distance relationship from the Middle East work?
posted by sammyo at 11:51 AM on December 22, 2015


Keep in mind that your job will severely limit where you can live. There are only a small number of installations that support your job, and many aren't in places most people want to live.
posted by answergrape at 12:18 PM on December 22, 2015 [4 favorites]


As I was reading through your description of yourself in the first half of this section, I was struck by the fact that you basically like who you are, and you value your non-standard life experiences - you've traveled, you've taught, you've done semi-artsy jobs with audio and media, and it sounds like part of your current frustration with your job/career path is that it's kind of cog-in-the-machine unfulfilling. As a non-military person who has only really interacted with enlisted, not officers, I don't have a strong impression of what OTS is like; however my impression of enlisted-service military is that you are encouraged to be proud of your current military performance and your unit and your country, but not encouraged to take pride in any of the kinds of things that you've done before, or any of the kinds of things that make you who you are. You have self-respect in a way that may not take well to being in a school situation where cadets get no respect at all.

Or maybe I'm incorrect about what the OTS vibe is like or how you'd respond emotionally to that environment - but it's something to think about.
posted by aimedwander at 12:19 PM on December 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


I often resent authority figures if they're dumb

Don't take the job.
posted by frantumaglia at 12:32 PM on December 22, 2015 [16 favorites]


I think this is worth repeating:
----------
I often resent authority figures if they're dumb
Don't take the job.
posted by frantumaglia at 3:32 PM on December 2
2
----------
I think it's worth repeating in CAPS:

I OFTEN RESENT AUTHORITY FIGURES IF THEY'RE DUMB >>> DON'T TAKE THE JOB !!!
posted by Corvid at 1:00 PM on December 22, 2015 [4 favorites]


Recruiters say all kinds of things. I ran into mine after I'd been in for a bit and he was happy to see me and I slapped him in a restaurant in front of his extended brunch family and called him scum. He got a bonus for what the Army did to me. Outranked him by then, so I got away with my moment of rage. I don't often handle things like that. Not as advertised.

Plus the years overseas was making me feel patriotic, and I had the urge to serve, working on something bigger than myself toward a better world.

If I don't accept the opportunity to serve, I'm concerned that I'll harbor some serious resentment and I'll start ruminating. I don't want to feel any regret. I've been trying to get in for so long that it seems silly to pass it up. I also don't know what else I would do with myself.

Repeat these words to yourself, out loud in front of a mirror. See if you can maintain eye contact. People do this because they think housing and food and utilities are taken care of and they get a deposit every month. Seems so easy until you have to do what you are told.

Etrigan and Corvid make some good points above.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 1:10 PM on December 22, 2015 [2 favorites]


Best answer: Of course you should decline a commission if you do not know for sure that you want it.

I believe that on reflection you should decide that you want it very much indeed.

You are clearly smart and thoughtful (not always the same thing!) and yet you're 33 and dream of making $75k ... clearly, for whatever reason you have never been able to present that combination of qualities that reads as "leader", "creator" or "analyst" (the three basic flavors of well paid professional jobs).

Serving as a USAF officer will solve that problem forever. Every commissioned job is either leader or analyst, and most are both. There is literally no job in which a junior person can bear more responsibility or trust than being at the pointy end of the nuclear spear. In other words, it is existentially impossible for it to be a dead end for you, assuming you perform your duties well enough to be honorably discharged. It's about as sure a thing as possible that after you leave service you will be able to "graduate" into reasonably-well-paid, challenging career path.

I appreciate your challenges with your girlfriend but a six-month-old relationship is NOT a reason to discard what could be your last chance to truly transform the next 30+ years of your life for the better. And if it is meant to be, you are going to do a lot better pursuing from the stance of someone who has taken charge of his financial and professional future rather than someone who moves across the country to be the live-in / supported-by boyfriend of someone making twice what he is.
posted by MattD at 3:06 PM on December 22, 2015 [6 favorites]


Also, much of what people talk about as the possible downside of military service -- boring, repetitive work, lying recruiters, oppressive obedience to stupid supervisors -- are exaggerations or dramatizations of bad stuff that can happen to enlisted people. A non-flying Air Force officer is at the polar opposite of that risk. Of course you can always have a bad boss or questionable duties, but you need to think "Dilbert" not "first act of Full Metal Jacket."
posted by MattD at 3:11 PM on December 22, 2015 [2 favorites]


About a year ago, there were a number of near-simultaneous scandals that hit the AF's ICBM units, involving large-scale cheating on proficiency exams and, IIRC, drug abuse. If you haven't already, you should read into the investigative reporting that came out around that time - missileer units seemed to have particularly broken leadership and extremely low morale.
posted by kickingtheground at 3:17 PM on December 22, 2015 [9 favorites]


Kickingtheground really hits the target here (sorry). ICBM units are notorious for poor unit quality and stress due to being located in less-than-ideal parts of the country, high stress (because you're in charge of nuclear missiles) and the fact that unless things get really really bad, you're never actually going to do anything beyond pretty routine drills and other monotonous activities.

I'd really encourage you to look into the life of the average ICBM officer and see if that's something that you want to devote four years of your life towards.
posted by Fister Roboto at 3:40 PM on December 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


Best answer: I with MattD. What you're going to get out of the military is some technical experience, much of which is going to be hyper-specialized and not immediately useful later. But you're also going to get a generalized management experience that comes in super handy in the private sector later. You won't likely be back to minimum-wage jobs after being an officer in the Air Force.

I say likely, because that depends on you. My reservation with saying wholeheartedly to join the Air Force is that in some cases, that's not true. If you can't be behind the mission of the US Military, mission of the Air Force, and Air Force core values, instead only interested in how much you get paid, living in the middle of nowhere, or getting to 75k/yr, it might not be for you. Lots of people spend their whole time in the military focusing on what sucks about it, and plenty of things do. Unless you can feel like you're putting up with the part that sucks because you're doing something important, you're going to resent your commanders, be in trouble a lot, and miss all kinds of opportunities to learn that natural every-day leadership veterans are known for.

I guess what I'm saying is, the girlfriend thing is irrelevant. Do you want to be a military professional or not?
posted by ctmf at 3:52 PM on December 22, 2015 [3 favorites]


Most likely you will be living in either North Dakota or Wyoming.

I wouldn't do it.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:08 PM on December 22, 2015


I think in addition to reading about the ICBM teams that kickingtheground mentioned, you should also read Eric Schlosser's book Command and Control.
posted by Lycaste at 6:09 PM on December 22, 2015 [4 favorites]


As a naval officer 12 years in, I would say go for it! Beyond repeating all the good advice above, I would point out after a few years in your career, you are very much open to apply to other jobs - aviation, diplomacy/FAO, medical, etc. Literally the world is open.

You'll never get google-rich, but for me these thought of retiring at 43 on a base middle-class check until I die is worth a ton. I have a few friends doing it now and while it's not super sexy, I see tons of FB pics with skiing, hunting, and outdoor activities. Email me is you have questions
posted by aggienfo at 8:47 PM on December 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


Nthing what corvid said - my dad was a missile man in the USAF for 26 years and I got an ROTC scholarship to engineering school. I hated almost everything about ROTC - I've never called anyone "sir" and I hated the hierarchy, where you're automatically treated as inferior if you're of a lower rank. Speaking as a fellow punk rocker, though the bennies and the travel and the opportunities (whatever) look good on paper, it's probably going to make you feel like the man is keeping you down even more.

My dad was able to suppress his real feelings and toe the party line for most of his life, but it takes a special dedication (or obligation to a new family) to be able to do that.

You have been warned.

If you want to Memail me I can give you more insights about day to day, pulling alerts and stuff like that.
posted by bendy at 12:01 AM on December 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Retired Air Force officer (not missile) chiming in here.

If you sign up as a missile officer, your initial tour of duty will be in Great Falls, Montana; Minot, North Dakota; Cheyenne, Wyoming; or Santa Barbara-area (CA).

As an officer, you will learn leadership, management, public-speaking and communication, discipline, and a host of other (some intangible) skills that will serve you well in any future endeavors.

Taking orders from senior officers isn't ALL bad -- after all, they are at least as educated (formally and via military) as you are. The enlisted support troops are pretty much awesome in every way.

But missile duty is...not exciting. There have been a lot of recent improvements to "quality of life" issues in the missile world, but nothing can change the fact that a lot of the duty is literally sitting underground for many hours at a stretch for a few years.

Beyond that, if the missile world isn't to your liking after your initial tour, the Air Force does indeed offer re-training into other career fields -- services, security and intel, medical, finance, etc.

And the benefits of military life are considerable -- good pay, 30 days of vacation, paid medical, travel, camaraderie, tuition assistance/GI Bill, etc.

Hope this helps.
posted by davidmsc at 8:57 AM on December 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


My brother was a missile officer in the USAF and left over 10 years ago. He did not find it a particularly exciting line of work and hated Great Falls. Cheyenne was a bit more tolerable. In his words at the time, missiles is not a growth field and not going to be where the ambitious people or career opportunities are.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 9:45 AM on December 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Most likely you will be living in either North Dakota or Wyoming.

Some people actually enjoy living in those places and do so voluntarily.
posted by a strong female character at 5:28 PM on December 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


Most of those are civilians.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 9:40 PM on December 23, 2015


60 Minutes did a segment on missileers and the scandals mentioned above a couple of years back. It gave a pretty good overview of the officers' day-to-day routine (I was surprised by how candid they were, national security and all). It would be worth watching.
posted by vignettist at 9:59 PM on December 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Response by poster: OP here. After deep consideration I decided to decline this opportunity.

Back that up. I actually decided to to accept this amazing opportunity, and started the process with my recruiter. Turns out the job required some clearances and the PRP which I did not qualify for, and I was encouraged to "forget" anything that would compromise my eligibility. I decided I could not proceed further without a clear conscience, and did not want to risk the repercussions associated with falsifying security paperwork. Unfortunately being honest meant I had to withdraw.

While I may have been able to play the game, it did not feel right. Giving up on this dream doesn't exactly feel right, either, but I'd like to believe it was the right thing to do. I'm still spending a lot of time figuring out what’s next, but thanks to everyone for your answers!
posted by mannermode at 2:35 PM on February 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


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