Should I get my 5 year old cat a kitten friend?
December 14, 2015 9:38 PM Subscribe
My cat is very playful and meows for attention a lot. I’m wondering if maybe he would like a playmate but I'm afraid that he might hate it.
Some things to consider:
- He’s never lived with another cat or animal
- He’s been around cats a few other times and always hisses and does the angry meow
- He’s neutered
- We live in a 500 square foot studio apartment
- I currently play with my kitty but he seems to need constant attention, meowing at me all evening and never playing on his own
My hope is that the new cat would be more docile than the current Prince and I would introduce them slowly so that they could gradually acclimate to each other’s scent. Then they’d play together and snooze together and be BFFs.
Some people tell me that this is a bad idea because he’s too old. They say that it will only stress him out and make him uncomfortable in his own home. Others tell me that it’s a great idea and relay success stories of their own.
What do you think? Good idea? Terrible idea? Please share any stories and advice of your own!
Some things to consider:
- He’s never lived with another cat or animal
- He’s been around cats a few other times and always hisses and does the angry meow
- He’s neutered
- We live in a 500 square foot studio apartment
- I currently play with my kitty but he seems to need constant attention, meowing at me all evening and never playing on his own
My hope is that the new cat would be more docile than the current Prince and I would introduce them slowly so that they could gradually acclimate to each other’s scent. Then they’d play together and snooze together and be BFFs.
Some people tell me that this is a bad idea because he’s too old. They say that it will only stress him out and make him uncomfortable in his own home. Others tell me that it’s a great idea and relay success stories of their own.
What do you think? Good idea? Terrible idea? Please share any stories and advice of your own!
If your cat is still playful he's not at all too old. I think it's a great idea.
(It's difficult for us to know for sure if we can't see a photo.)
posted by zadcat at 9:49 PM on December 14, 2015 [10 favorites]
(It's difficult for us to know for sure if we can't see a photo.)
posted by zadcat at 9:49 PM on December 14, 2015 [10 favorites]
Most cats take time to warm up to other cats, so his previous hissing may not be indication that he wouldn't enjoy a feline friend.
My advice is to ask yourself if YOU want another cat, because at the end of the day, whether or not a new cat becomes buddies with the other one, you'll need to have to devote the extra time and costs to clean up and feed the two, along with vet bills.
It's a crapshoot if they'll get along. But I say two cats are always more entertaining than one.
posted by Unsomnambulist at 9:52 PM on December 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
My advice is to ask yourself if YOU want another cat, because at the end of the day, whether or not a new cat becomes buddies with the other one, you'll need to have to devote the extra time and costs to clean up and feed the two, along with vet bills.
It's a crapshoot if they'll get along. But I say two cats are always more entertaining than one.
posted by Unsomnambulist at 9:52 PM on December 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
This question is impossible to answer directly because there is no picture of the cat, Prince.
In general - for a 500 sq ft apartment, try using a Feliway Diffuser. It's done wonders for my one neurotic cat. The other is, and always will be, self-sufficient...
Which brings me to my next point. Cats are like Tribbles. They are a slippery slope, once you have one, you end up with three. It's really hard to stop at two. The second might not get along with the first (I've had this happen twice) and really, they are a HUGE commitment.
Try Feliway. Fight the urge.
posted by jbenben at 9:53 PM on December 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
In general - for a 500 sq ft apartment, try using a Feliway Diffuser. It's done wonders for my one neurotic cat. The other is, and always will be, self-sufficient...
Which brings me to my next point. Cats are like Tribbles. They are a slippery slope, once you have one, you end up with three. It's really hard to stop at two. The second might not get along with the first (I've had this happen twice) and really, they are a HUGE commitment.
Try Feliway. Fight the urge.
posted by jbenben at 9:53 PM on December 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
In my experience as a cat's person and a person who listens with rapt attention to any and all mundane cat stories from everyone I talk to, it seriously seems like a coin flip. Might be amazing, might be tons of trouble. You would likely be best served if you can have a robust and layered contingency plan if it doesn't work out, instead of hoping for the best and then feeling epic guilt and potentially unhoming your newest cat.
Often breeders will require that if you buy one of their kittens and for whatever reason can't keep the cat comfortably that you bring the cat back to them to ensure their care. This is a very $$$ option though and I fully endorse adopting from a shelter. Some no-kill shelters have the same "return" policy which is great, though.
One thing that could be an indicator of your cat's willingness to befriend another cat is if you have ever been scent marked by another cat and come home - does he smell the other cat on you and get annoyed and demandingly re-scent you, or does he just sniff in interest and move on? The most territorial cats I know do the former.
As long as the introduction is slow, they have enough space to be separate and feel safe and not visibly see each other, and you can have enough litter boxes (3. One for each cat and an extra) then I think a five year old cat is absolutely not too old. I've had cats as old as 13 adapt to vastly different living circumstances with great success.
One tip on the space issue is to have lots of high places to climb to on the walls. That way one cat can go high and one cat can go low and they don't have to be face to face unless they want to, but they both have full run of the apartment. There might be some DIY in your future.
posted by Mizu at 9:58 PM on December 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Often breeders will require that if you buy one of their kittens and for whatever reason can't keep the cat comfortably that you bring the cat back to them to ensure their care. This is a very $$$ option though and I fully endorse adopting from a shelter. Some no-kill shelters have the same "return" policy which is great, though.
One thing that could be an indicator of your cat's willingness to befriend another cat is if you have ever been scent marked by another cat and come home - does he smell the other cat on you and get annoyed and demandingly re-scent you, or does he just sniff in interest and move on? The most territorial cats I know do the former.
As long as the introduction is slow, they have enough space to be separate and feel safe and not visibly see each other, and you can have enough litter boxes (3. One for each cat and an extra) then I think a five year old cat is absolutely not too old. I've had cats as old as 13 adapt to vastly different living circumstances with great success.
One tip on the space issue is to have lots of high places to climb to on the walls. That way one cat can go high and one cat can go low and they don't have to be face to face unless they want to, but they both have full run of the apartment. There might be some DIY in your future.
posted by Mizu at 9:58 PM on December 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: How would a photo help with your answers? I don't mean that to sound snarky...I really don't understand!
Here's a link to his instagram account https://websta.me/n/thesnaggletoothtiger
The fact that he has his own instagram account should tell you I have absolutely no problem with more cats. Bring 'em on!
posted by figaro at 10:00 PM on December 14, 2015 [6 favorites]
Here's a link to his instagram account https://websta.me/n/thesnaggletoothtiger
The fact that he has his own instagram account should tell you I have absolutely no problem with more cats. Bring 'em on!
posted by figaro at 10:00 PM on December 14, 2015 [6 favorites]
It's just a joke that we can't answer pet questions without pictures. It's a ploy to get pics of sweet & naughty pets alike.
posted by sweetkid at 10:10 PM on December 14, 2015 [29 favorites]
posted by sweetkid at 10:10 PM on December 14, 2015 [29 favorites]
You should definitely get a kitten for your friend! Neutered male is a great idea. You should also get a tall cat tree, shelves, and beds to put on top of any tall cabinets or other furniture that he can reach so he has a place to hang out from up high, away from his new friend. This will help him feel like he's still king of the house and have an escape route if he doesn't like his buddy all the time.
posted by joan_holloway at 10:11 PM on December 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by joan_holloway at 10:11 PM on December 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
we have a very active 3ish year old neutered cat. we can never play with him too much, he "talks" to us constantly. he's very needy. we really want another cat. alas, we've done a lot of reading on his specific behaviors and keep coming back to he loves his human companions and would likely not warm to another cat. if we move into a house where he can really have space (and a litter box) all his own, we might consider getting another cat (or a pair of kittens).
posted by nadawi at 10:17 PM on December 14, 2015
posted by nadawi at 10:17 PM on December 14, 2015
BRB FOLLOWING YR CAT ON INSTAGRAM
I would get another cat, knowing they might just end up grudgingly sharing the same space in a tenuous detente. My male cat was 11 when I got a female kitten. They could not be more different - he was/is obsessed with me, and is basically an immobile lump of love; she's a hellacious demon of terror who ruins everything. They curl up together in a sleepy cat pile and groom each other. Who knew?!? It's definitely been a boon for my older cat to have a younger sibling, even though she's kinda awful. If you're okay with the fact that it might not work out, and it may involve extra labor then I say go for it. Do you have any space to cordon off for the first two weeks to keep them separated while everyone adjusts to new smells and places?
posted by missmary6 at 10:27 PM on December 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
I would get another cat, knowing they might just end up grudgingly sharing the same space in a tenuous detente. My male cat was 11 when I got a female kitten. They could not be more different - he was/is obsessed with me, and is basically an immobile lump of love; she's a hellacious demon of terror who ruins everything. They curl up together in a sleepy cat pile and groom each other. Who knew?!? It's definitely been a boon for my older cat to have a younger sibling, even though she's kinda awful. If you're okay with the fact that it might not work out, and it may involve extra labor then I say go for it. Do you have any space to cordon off for the first two weeks to keep them separated while everyone adjusts to new smells and places?
posted by missmary6 at 10:27 PM on December 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
He's so cute!!! Awwww, so fluffywuffy!
I have a bonded pair of females, aged 2. I tried fostering a kitten (see: slippery slopes, tribbles) but they hated her so much, one was so stressed she made herself sick. Stressycat doesn't like any human but me as it is. The other one is super friendly in general but it turns out she prefers crying human babies to kittens.
That said, I have read so much on askmetafilter that suggests my problem was likely with them being all females. In your situation I would go for it but do speak with the shelter about your concerns so they can take kitten back if necessary.
posted by kitten magic at 11:17 PM on December 14, 2015
I have a bonded pair of females, aged 2. I tried fostering a kitten (see: slippery slopes, tribbles) but they hated her so much, one was so stressed she made herself sick. Stressycat doesn't like any human but me as it is. The other one is super friendly in general but it turns out she prefers crying human babies to kittens.
That said, I have read so much on askmetafilter that suggests my problem was likely with them being all females. In your situation I would go for it but do speak with the shelter about your concerns so they can take kitten back if necessary.
posted by kitten magic at 11:17 PM on December 14, 2015
Neutered male? Go for it. He'll love the company.
posted by pompomtom at 11:59 PM on December 14, 2015
posted by pompomtom at 11:59 PM on December 14, 2015
Time to post my cautionary tale: we got a second cat to be friends with our five-year-old-ish, super-active, attention-craving cat who seemed to really want feline companionship. We did everything as "right" as possible to integrate them, but it still took a year, a lot of time and money and experimentation, and the eventual help of a veterinary behaviorist before they could even be left alone in the same room. They now get along fine and I love them both, but it would have been way easier to just play with the first cat every night until he got exhausted.
I will say that I've been able to introduce kittens to established older cats before, and it only took a couple of days and little fuss, but when it doesn't go smoothly it can be a real undertaking, and it can be hard to predict whether it will go smoothly or not.
My general advice is to do as much as you can to enrich your kitty's environment now: cat trees or shelves to climb on, different varieties of cat toys, a bird feeder outside the window, puzzle-style feeders, etc. If you do all that and you still think adding a kitten would be a good idea, go slowly and have a backup plan in case it doesn't work out. Be advised that by the time you've given the two-cat situation a fair trial, you will have bonded with kitty #2 and you may be hesitant to rehome him.
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:05 AM on December 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
I will say that I've been able to introduce kittens to established older cats before, and it only took a couple of days and little fuss, but when it doesn't go smoothly it can be a real undertaking, and it can be hard to predict whether it will go smoothly or not.
My general advice is to do as much as you can to enrich your kitty's environment now: cat trees or shelves to climb on, different varieties of cat toys, a bird feeder outside the window, puzzle-style feeders, etc. If you do all that and you still think adding a kitten would be a good idea, go slowly and have a backup plan in case it doesn't work out. Be advised that by the time you've given the two-cat situation a fair trial, you will have bonded with kitty #2 and you may be hesitant to rehome him.
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:05 AM on December 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
Call a foster organization and tell them that you're interested in adopting, tell them about Prince and that you want to make sure it's a good fit for your cat family. Then see if they'll place a kitten with you as a foster-to-adoption.
For some reason I have the idea that getting two kittens, preferably litter-mates, would be better. The babies can play with each other and Prince can rule the roost as the older brother. But I'm a moron and this is just me projecting human emotions onto animals.
Oh, and on Metafilter it's required that when asking a question about your cat, that you post a picture of said cat.
Eartha and Malcolm.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:19 AM on December 15, 2015 [5 favorites]
For some reason I have the idea that getting two kittens, preferably litter-mates, would be better. The babies can play with each other and Prince can rule the roost as the older brother. But I'm a moron and this is just me projecting human emotions onto animals.
Oh, and on Metafilter it's required that when asking a question about your cat, that you post a picture of said cat.
Eartha and Malcolm.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:19 AM on December 15, 2015 [5 favorites]
Just a head's up, the answers here have generally been 'yes! do it!', but in the past Mefi has generally recommended more caution. It could be good for your cat, but it could also make your cat really miserable.
posted by tofu_crouton at 5:24 AM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by tofu_crouton at 5:24 AM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
We brought a teen cat into our one-cat household last year and it took months to get to the point where they were ok being loose in the house together - and even now there's still fighting and chasing. The new guy has his own door-separated hideout in a biggish bathroom. We expected that would be temporary, but it's turned out to be still necessary. If you get a new kitten, it might go great, but it might be a slow process, and you'll want to be able to securely split up the space while you're not home.
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:34 AM on December 15, 2015
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:34 AM on December 15, 2015
I ended up with my younger cat because she needed a home as a kitten, not because I really set out to Get A Kitten. You might seriously consider looking at a young cat, rather than a kitten. I think my cats would get along better now if the younger one had been slightly more settled-down when she came home. Older cat was well past 5 at that point, but I think it holds true for adults in general--I've heard it suggested since that if you're going to bring in kittens, get a pair so that they'll distract each other from harassing the grown-up(s). But even though my cats don't get along great, my older cat is still slightly less needy when I get home from work than she was before, so I think it's been good for her.
posted by Sequence at 8:12 AM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Sequence at 8:12 AM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
Seconding what Ruthless Bunny said - ask for a foster (rent-to-own, essentially) so you can see if it works out. If it doesn't, kitten goes back to find a better fit. If it does, everybody wins.
posted by bluesky78987 at 8:34 AM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by bluesky78987 at 8:34 AM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yes: foster! You can have the cat of the month club. Or maybe your (handsome) critter will try on one cat and decide it's the worst thing of all time.
• try using a Feliway Diffuser
Do not waste your money.
posted by RJ Reynolds at 8:34 AM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
• try using a Feliway Diffuser
Do not waste your money.
posted by RJ Reynolds at 8:34 AM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
We generally always have two cats for this exact reason. We had one cat for a period of time but he was overweight and very, very needy. Since getting him a companion, things have been much better. The 'getting to know you' period takes a bit of time. He will hiss, he will not be happy, he may even pee on your things to show his anger BUT this phase passes within a few weeks.
My cats (1, neutered male, 4 years old) and our adopted kitten (neutered male, 6 months old) love each other and play a lot.
It's worth it.
posted by Sara_NOT_Sarah at 11:08 AM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
My cats (1, neutered male, 4 years old) and our adopted kitten (neutered male, 6 months old) love each other and play a lot.
It's worth it.
posted by Sara_NOT_Sarah at 11:08 AM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
I think it is very risky. I've heard it said that cats should not get roommates after 3 years. I know our two cats were best friends from the time they were kittens together. When they hit 3 years, they stopped liking each other and would spit and squabble. I heard another woman saying that she got a kitten for her grown cat and the cat moved into her closet and didn't come out for 6 months.
So you're taking a risk and you may end up with an angry unpleasant adult cat and an abused kitten.
posted by charlesminus at 11:35 AM on December 15, 2015
So you're taking a risk and you may end up with an angry unpleasant adult cat and an abused kitten.
posted by charlesminus at 11:35 AM on December 15, 2015
It took about 8-9 months for my cats to get along. I would have never guessed it, but now they deeply love each other. I had to keep them apart for about two weeks, and use soft claws at first to make sure they didn't hurt each other when I first left them alone together. Followed a lot of the recommendations above on improving the space and making sure they had enough play time to work out the excess energy and stress. Basically watched a lot of My Cat From Hell for tips, and I'm really happy I did. My cats are bonded with me primarily, but are still their own little pack now.
posted by TenaciousB at 11:43 AM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by TenaciousB at 11:43 AM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
I want to lend my vote to foster-to-adopt. I have a bonded pair of sisters and I adopted a boy kitten when the sisters were almost 5. Admittedly, the girls were raised around other cats for about 6 months and they've always had each other, and it was still a risky venture, but it has worked out splendidly and we are a happy bunch even though baby Jasper still sits on sister Cosgrove's head when he wants to evict her from her special spot so he can sit there.
Bear in mind, though, that cats are territorial and hissing and boundary-setting are normal and will last at least a few weeks. It takes a bit of time and some intestinal fortitude on your part to watch the interplay, but it can be very much worth it. I love to see the different relationships the three cats have with one another, and bringing a kitten into the mix has been like giving a puppy to an older dog -- new energy, new interests, and a whole new meaning to the words "four am fuckabout."
So if it's not an immediate match, don't give up right away. Don't push it if someone is being abused, but if it's just boundary-setting and getting to know you fights, let them work it out. A second litter box might not be a bad idea and there are lots of little tricks to getting them used to each other. I have french doors between my bedroom and living room, and between my kitchen and foyer, so the kitten and cats could be separated for a while, yet still see and smell each other. It can help to feed them near each other (such as kitten in a carrier with food and cat in normal food spot with food). It can help to rub kitten with a blanket and then put the blanket near cat's sleep spot. I think it's worth a try, especially if you can foster to adopt. At the very least, you will be helping someone else's future pet adapt to other animals and a real home rather than a cage. I owe an enormous debt of gratitude to the women who fostered my cats.
posted by janey47 at 11:55 AM on December 15, 2015
Bear in mind, though, that cats are territorial and hissing and boundary-setting are normal and will last at least a few weeks. It takes a bit of time and some intestinal fortitude on your part to watch the interplay, but it can be very much worth it. I love to see the different relationships the three cats have with one another, and bringing a kitten into the mix has been like giving a puppy to an older dog -- new energy, new interests, and a whole new meaning to the words "four am fuckabout."
So if it's not an immediate match, don't give up right away. Don't push it if someone is being abused, but if it's just boundary-setting and getting to know you fights, let them work it out. A second litter box might not be a bad idea and there are lots of little tricks to getting them used to each other. I have french doors between my bedroom and living room, and between my kitchen and foyer, so the kitten and cats could be separated for a while, yet still see and smell each other. It can help to feed them near each other (such as kitten in a carrier with food and cat in normal food spot with food). It can help to rub kitten with a blanket and then put the blanket near cat's sleep spot. I think it's worth a try, especially if you can foster to adopt. At the very least, you will be helping someone else's future pet adapt to other animals and a real home rather than a cage. I owe an enormous debt of gratitude to the women who fostered my cats.
posted by janey47 at 11:55 AM on December 15, 2015
We did this a year ago and introduced an 8 month old boy kitty to our 4 year old female kitty.
I did a TON of reading on the subject and made sure I knew how best to integrate them, but despite all of that, there was still a steep learning curve.
Things that changed when the new cat arrived:
Litter box problems. We had some issues with the new cat bullying our current cat in the litter box. We added a couple more litter boxes and all is fine now - but that might be harder in a smaller apartment. You could well get some inappropriate peeing etc and the litter box bullying we experienced did go on for a little while
There was definitely a period where I felt as though my first sweet natured cat, was sadder than when she was the only cat in the house. She did seem physically depressed for a while because new cat was more boisterous than she was and wanted to play too much.
Play fighting and meowing and hissing was difficult to predict and really frequent in the early days while they sorted out their territory. Sometimes I would get concerned by the fighting.
All that being said, we really don't have any issues now, they seem to love each other and snuggle together a lot, but they definitely still have their moments.
It really was a hard slog though at the beginning, keeping them separated etc. and managing everything that came with that.
All of that being said, I am much MUCH happier with two cats, and our kitties are definitely happy with each other too. I wouldn't change a thing so go for it! why not!
If you have any more specific questions, please feel free to memail me! I'm not an expert but I have recently gone through this!
posted by JenThePro at 1:14 PM on December 15, 2015
I did a TON of reading on the subject and made sure I knew how best to integrate them, but despite all of that, there was still a steep learning curve.
Things that changed when the new cat arrived:
Litter box problems. We had some issues with the new cat bullying our current cat in the litter box. We added a couple more litter boxes and all is fine now - but that might be harder in a smaller apartment. You could well get some inappropriate peeing etc and the litter box bullying we experienced did go on for a little while
There was definitely a period where I felt as though my first sweet natured cat, was sadder than when she was the only cat in the house. She did seem physically depressed for a while because new cat was more boisterous than she was and wanted to play too much.
Play fighting and meowing and hissing was difficult to predict and really frequent in the early days while they sorted out their territory. Sometimes I would get concerned by the fighting.
All that being said, we really don't have any issues now, they seem to love each other and snuggle together a lot, but they definitely still have their moments.
It really was a hard slog though at the beginning, keeping them separated etc. and managing everything that came with that.
All of that being said, I am much MUCH happier with two cats, and our kitties are definitely happy with each other too. I wouldn't change a thing so go for it! why not!
If you have any more specific questions, please feel free to memail me! I'm not an expert but I have recently gone through this!
posted by JenThePro at 1:14 PM on December 15, 2015
I added a kitten to the house when my cat was 12. There was never big fighting, although the kitten obviously had more energy and wanted to play more, but the older cat would shut him down and that was it.
After a year or so, they would often be sleeping together, cleaning each other, etc.
If you get the kitten from a shelter, talk to them about it. They can probably re-home him/her if necessary if it doesn't work out (kittens are generally a lot easier to find homes for!).
posted by thefoxgod at 2:22 PM on December 15, 2015
After a year or so, they would often be sleeping together, cleaning each other, etc.
If you get the kitten from a shelter, talk to them about it. They can probably re-home him/her if necessary if it doesn't work out (kittens are generally a lot easier to find homes for!).
posted by thefoxgod at 2:22 PM on December 15, 2015
Best answer: Yeah, so I asked pretty much this question a little while ago. In the end, the answer that made sense to me was to only get another cat if I wanted another cat. It turned out that I didn't, I was pretty happy with my little guy (who is now not so little). Sometimes he is bored but you know? On the days I've been home sick he appears to spend most of his time sleeping anyway, so there is really no guarantee that another cat will make him more played-out by the time you get home. Cats are nocturnal and when you get home in the evening is exactly the time they are thinking, awesome sleep! Time to hunt stuff and play and have fun! It might mean he takes it out on the other cat instead of you, but see above re unpredictability of kitties.
posted by Athanassiel at 6:48 PM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Athanassiel at 6:48 PM on December 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by sweetkid at 9:49 PM on December 14, 2015 [2 favorites]