Don't you get paid?
December 9, 2015 3:13 PM   Subscribe

Do I tip the funeral director?

I've never had to plan a funeral until this week. Luckily, mom had a pre-paid plan, so most of the headaches were already covered. But, I do have this one question...Do you tip the funeral director?

I don't know why I would even think I am expected to tip, but I keep getting a vibe that it might be customary. Of course, the issue is that I don't have any money with which to tip and, even if I did, wtf would be an appropriate amount? We've spent several thousands already.

So..tip? No tip?
posted by Thorzdad to Work & Money (7 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
We said goodbye to my mother-in-law in September. The funeral home did a really great job with everything. We did not tip and didn't get the feeling it was expected. This was in Rockford, IL.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
posted by Kangaroo at 3:17 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


Best answer: I'd say no tip, based on several funerals in my own family. But for a definitive answer, contact coldchef, he's a funeral director.
posted by easily confused at 3:18 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


Altar boys at a funeral mass get tipped, people who are hired to conduct the service or handle the music get paid.
posted by readery at 3:45 PM on December 9, 2015


Best answer: Tip the minister and any musicians, but it is not customary to tip a funeral director.
posted by ColdChef at 3:58 PM on December 9, 2015 [25 favorites]


Response by poster: But for a definitive answer, contact coldchef, he's a funeral director.

Duly advised, I MeMailed CF, and he got right back to me.
Thanks, all!
posted by Thorzdad at 4:04 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


Send a complimentary letter if you're happy with the way the service was conducted.

I'm sorry for your loss.
posted by brujita at 5:40 PM on December 9, 2015


Agreed; send a thank you note/card. "Thank you for your efforts to support us in this difficult time. _______ went very smoothly, and as a result we were able to pay our respects without the additional stress of planning. [etc.]"

Assuming things went well, you could tip with some referral business in the event someone says to you "_____ just died and I don't know where to start with all that needs doing."
posted by Sunburnt at 11:02 PM on December 9, 2015


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