Mooching Memes
December 9, 2015 11:00 AM Subscribe
How do I cut off a friend's access to my wifi w/o being an asshole?
Backstory: I have known this friend for six years. We were in the same graduate program. I left school and she stayed in the city to finish her PhD. About two years ago, I was offered a job here, but I needed a place to live for ~6 months until my fiance could join me and we could lease a place together.
She offered to let me couchsurf for those 6 months. While a generous offer, it was definitely agreed that this was mutually beneficial. I had a place to sleep and a mailing address, and she had a houseguest that a.) paid half her bills (she was financially strapped), b.) had a car (her car had been repossesed), c.) purchased food and cooked it (she had been on food stamps) and d.) cleaned regularly (her schedule + ADD made her house a disaster).
Things went according to plan, in that after 6 months, my fiance was able to move in with me and we rented our own place. As it happened, an apartment in her building opened up for the right price at the right time. I had become friendly with the landlord over the six months I had been there and she was thrilled to have me and my fiance as "real" tenants.
During the move-in process, my friend asked if she could use our wifi after we had it set up, so she could cancel hers. Scratch that, she basically informed me that should would be doing exactly that. I didn't protest, because, hey, I've been sleeping on her couch for six months.
Fast forward 10 months or so, and I get a copyright infringement notice from our cable company. It was definitely not me/my fiance; the incident that was cited occured in the middle of the night when we were sleeping. We don't download music or movies or anything of that nature. So, I told her I got the notice, she said she wouldn't do it again, and though I suspected she was still doing it (slow speeds), I let it go.
Today I got another copyright infringement notice. I fowarded it to her without saying anything else. She sent me five messages defending herself, making up a bizarre story that would make no sense to anyone who actually read the notice. She must have later read the notice the whole way through, because her story suddenly changed to another defense.
My fiance is furious, thinks the first warning was sufficient (we did tell her she wouldn't be able to use our internet anymore if it happened again) and thinks we should cut her off. I agree, but I a.) feel guilty about it, given that she allowed me to stay with her, and b.) don't want to be an asshole.
So, 1. Should we cut her off? I mean, we want to, but if there's some reason we absolutely should not, I guess I want to know. 2. How? What do you say in this situation. I suck at personal confrontations.
Backstory: I have known this friend for six years. We were in the same graduate program. I left school and she stayed in the city to finish her PhD. About two years ago, I was offered a job here, but I needed a place to live for ~6 months until my fiance could join me and we could lease a place together.
She offered to let me couchsurf for those 6 months. While a generous offer, it was definitely agreed that this was mutually beneficial. I had a place to sleep and a mailing address, and she had a houseguest that a.) paid half her bills (she was financially strapped), b.) had a car (her car had been repossesed), c.) purchased food and cooked it (she had been on food stamps) and d.) cleaned regularly (her schedule + ADD made her house a disaster).
Things went according to plan, in that after 6 months, my fiance was able to move in with me and we rented our own place. As it happened, an apartment in her building opened up for the right price at the right time. I had become friendly with the landlord over the six months I had been there and she was thrilled to have me and my fiance as "real" tenants.
During the move-in process, my friend asked if she could use our wifi after we had it set up, so she could cancel hers. Scratch that, she basically informed me that should would be doing exactly that. I didn't protest, because, hey, I've been sleeping on her couch for six months.
Fast forward 10 months or so, and I get a copyright infringement notice from our cable company. It was definitely not me/my fiance; the incident that was cited occured in the middle of the night when we were sleeping. We don't download music or movies or anything of that nature. So, I told her I got the notice, she said she wouldn't do it again, and though I suspected she was still doing it (slow speeds), I let it go.
Today I got another copyright infringement notice. I fowarded it to her without saying anything else. She sent me five messages defending herself, making up a bizarre story that would make no sense to anyone who actually read the notice. She must have later read the notice the whole way through, because her story suddenly changed to another defense.
My fiance is furious, thinks the first warning was sufficient (we did tell her she wouldn't be able to use our internet anymore if it happened again) and thinks we should cut her off. I agree, but I a.) feel guilty about it, given that she allowed me to stay with her, and b.) don't want to be an asshole.
So, 1. Should we cut her off? I mean, we want to, but if there's some reason we absolutely should not, I guess I want to know. 2. How? What do you say in this situation. I suck at personal confrontations.
I would just change your password and make her be the awkward one to bring it up if she asks. And if she does ask, just say - "Hey, while I appreciate all the help you've given me, you're seriously taking advantage of us here in a way that could have real consequences for us. I think you know that's not cool." And then let it be awkward, because seriously, SHE IS THE ONE MAKING THIS AWKWARD!
posted by rainbowbrite at 11:07 AM on December 9, 2015 [97 favorites]
posted by rainbowbrite at 11:07 AM on December 9, 2015 [97 favorites]
Cut her off. End of story.
posted by tilde at 11:07 AM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by tilde at 11:07 AM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
1. I'd probably treat it as a 3 strikes thing, giving her one more chance, but that's just me.
2. "You fucked up so I changed the wifi password. Deal with it." Or just change it without warning and see if she has the guts to say anything. Again, just my approach.
posted by mannequito at 11:08 AM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
2. "You fucked up so I changed the wifi password. Deal with it." Or just change it without warning and see if she has the guts to say anything. Again, just my approach.
posted by mannequito at 11:08 AM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
Yup, change the password. She may get the hint, she may not, but she won't get the password.
posted by haunted by Leonard Cohen at 11:08 AM on December 9, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by haunted by Leonard Cohen at 11:08 AM on December 9, 2015 [9 favorites]
Yes, you should definitely cut her off. This is a flagrant abuse of a really generous courtesy here. And really, she let you stay with her but you were also contributing a great deal. I don't think you owe her all that much. Just change the password and if she tries to give you crap for it, say that you are not comfortable with sharing your wifi anymore. She knows why so you don't really need to elaborate.
posted by brilliantine at 11:08 AM on December 9, 2015 [24 favorites]
posted by brilliantine at 11:08 AM on December 9, 2015 [24 favorites]
Change your password pronto, no further warnings or explanations. You do not owe this person in perpetuity because you stayed on their couch. You paid her back by pulling your weight when you were there and you've given her free internet all these months.
This person is now breaking the law, twice (!!!), using your equipment. Just change your password. Whether you want to stay friends with someone who is clearly not respectful and who is putting you in harm's way is your decision, I guess.
posted by Klaxon Aoooogah at 11:09 AM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
This person is now breaking the law, twice (!!!), using your equipment. Just change your password. Whether you want to stay friends with someone who is clearly not respectful and who is putting you in harm's way is your decision, I guess.
posted by Klaxon Aoooogah at 11:09 AM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
You can soften the cut-off message. "There are real consequences for us when we get copyright infringement notices. We can't afford those consequences, so we have to ensure that we're the only ones who are using our internet connection - since we're the ones who will be ultimately be responsible for those consequences. Thanks for understanding."
posted by juniperesque at 11:11 AM on December 9, 2015 [38 favorites]
posted by juniperesque at 11:11 AM on December 9, 2015 [38 favorites]
Definitely cut her off -- this is not okay and is negatively affecting you.
You seem really torn because she let you stay with her, and it's great that you are such a loyal friend, but you also paid half her bills, bought and cooked food, and let her use your car; she may have been the one on the lease but you were basically a paying roommate and I don't think you owe her anything more.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 11:12 AM on December 9, 2015 [23 favorites]
You seem really torn because she let you stay with her, and it's great that you are such a loyal friend, but you also paid half her bills, bought and cooked food, and let her use your car; she may have been the one on the lease but you were basically a paying roommate and I don't think you owe her anything more.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 11:12 AM on December 9, 2015 [23 favorites]
I will also add, it's not like you were freeloading off of this woman during the time you stayed with her -- you paid half the bills, let her use your car and/or gave her rides, contributed toward the food budget, and did lots of household tasks (cooking, cleaning, etc.). Hell, this is way more than most roommates I have ever had have done!
posted by rainbowbrite at 11:12 AM on December 9, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by rainbowbrite at 11:12 AM on December 9, 2015 [8 favorites]
You don't even have to make it about the copyright notice at all if you don't want to sound accusatory--slow speeds are enough reason not to want an extra person on your wifi. I'd couch it in those terms and give her a week to get service, then change the password.
posted by mama casserole at 11:14 AM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by mama casserole at 11:14 AM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
I agree, but I a.) feel guilty about it, given that she allowed me to stay with her
You paid more than half the expenses while you were there. You don't owe her anything extra. If she mentions the changed password, just say "No, I think you understand why I can't do that. So, no."
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 11:14 AM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
You paid more than half the expenses while you were there. You don't owe her anything extra. If she mentions the changed password, just say "No, I think you understand why I can't do that. So, no."
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 11:14 AM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
Change the password, sure, but ban her MAC address before doing so.
posted by caution live frogs at 11:18 AM on December 9, 2015 [44 favorites]
posted by caution live frogs at 11:18 AM on December 9, 2015 [44 favorites]
What's more of an asshole move?
a) You cut off her wifi, which means she has to pay $50/month to get her own, or
b) She gets you sued for thousands of dollars because you are held liable for her illegal online activity
You have my permission to stop feeling guilty.
posted by lizbunny at 11:19 AM on December 9, 2015 [22 favorites]
a) You cut off her wifi, which means she has to pay $50/month to get her own, or
b) She gets you sued for thousands of dollars because you are held liable for her illegal online activity
You have my permission to stop feeling guilty.
posted by lizbunny at 11:19 AM on December 9, 2015 [22 favorites]
Nobody's ENTITLED to free internet. Either now or with the next notice, up to you, change the password and let her know that because of these notices, you just can't have people outside your household logging in and she's going to have to get her own. Be nice to give her a few days' notice, but unreliability is kind of the price of getting stuff for free. Even if you were sleeping on the actual couch, a person who pays half the rent is not couch-surfing, they are a roommate, and you don't owe former roommates free internet forever. The chances that something really bad happens because of these notices is usually small, but it matters not at all. When you're paying for it, you're allowed to make the rules about how she uses it.
posted by Sequence at 11:24 AM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Sequence at 11:24 AM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
Oh my god, she is acting like a total asshole. Truly. Change the password and seriously, do not give it a second thought.
posted by holborne at 11:28 AM on December 9, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by holborne at 11:28 AM on December 9, 2015 [5 favorites]
I'd probably treat it as a 3 strikes thing, giving her one more chance, but that's just me.
The cableco may be treating it as a 3 strikes thing, which puts the OP household is on its last warning. Cut her off, ban her MAC, change the SSID as well as the password.
posted by holgate at 11:29 AM on December 9, 2015 [49 favorites]
The cableco may be treating it as a 3 strikes thing, which puts the OP household is on its last warning. Cut her off, ban her MAC, change the SSID as well as the password.
posted by holgate at 11:29 AM on December 9, 2015 [49 favorites]
Just change the password. Not only is she putting you at risk of legal consequences for her activities, it sounds like she's using all your bandwidth. That sucks. I wouldn't give her notice that you're going to cut her off, because there's the risk that she would go on a downloading spree in your name before she loses internet access.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 11:32 AM on December 9, 2015 [17 favorites]
posted by kinddieserzeit at 11:32 AM on December 9, 2015 [17 favorites]
You are not the asshole here. Just change the password and ban the MAC address.
posted by jessamyn at 11:35 AM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by jessamyn at 11:35 AM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
"Sorry, we take these copyright notices really seriously. We can't afford to deal with a lawsuit right now, so whether it's happening intentionally or not, we can only be liable for our own behavior."
She might get mad, but she's 1) stealing, 2) endangering your finances, 3) LYING TO YOU like a loser. So who really cares.
posted by easter queen at 11:38 AM on December 9, 2015 [14 favorites]
She might get mad, but she's 1) stealing, 2) endangering your finances, 3) LYING TO YOU like a loser. So who really cares.
posted by easter queen at 11:38 AM on December 9, 2015 [14 favorites]
Change the password, but don't give her any extra time before doing so. You already gave her a chance, and she blew it. Don't let her download any more illegal media on your connection.
posted by Huck500 at 11:44 AM on December 9, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by Huck500 at 11:44 AM on December 9, 2015 [7 favorites]
Cut her off! She's putting you in legal jeopardy by her downloading on YOUR wifi. That is an asshole move if ever I saw one - on her part. When you stayed with her, you were a contributing member of the household. Now that you are returning the favor for her, she rewards you by taking advantage of your generosity, and then lying to you after you caught her doing so.
Cut her off without a warning or second chance. You already gave her a warning and another chance the first time you got a copyright infringement notice. And what does she do? She keeps right on illegally downloading stuff. I don't think that's something a good friend would want to do, get someone on the hook for illegal downloads. Don't be her doormat. (I'd be reconsidering the friendship at this point. Trying to get your friend in trouble with the law is a shitty, not-good-friend thing to do.)
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 11:49 AM on December 9, 2015 [7 favorites]
Cut her off without a warning or second chance. You already gave her a warning and another chance the first time you got a copyright infringement notice. And what does she do? She keeps right on illegally downloading stuff. I don't think that's something a good friend would want to do, get someone on the hook for illegal downloads. Don't be her doormat. (I'd be reconsidering the friendship at this point. Trying to get your friend in trouble with the law is a shitty, not-good-friend thing to do.)
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 11:49 AM on December 9, 2015 [7 favorites]
Oh man, your title says it all. She's mooching off of you. You owe her nothing at all--you paid half her bills, you loaned her your car, you cooked her food, you cleaned her apartment. Even if you weren't paying half her rent while you were staying there (I don't see you mention rent in your question), 10 months of free internet more than makes up for anything you owe her. I would have been really disgruntled if someone had TOLD me they were going to use my internet for free in the first place--the fact that she's abusing a privilege that she took for herself without asking you if it was ok makes it even more egregious. Change the password today. I'm the sort of person who would inform her, because I think just changing the password without saying anything is passive-aggressive, but I can see why others suggested it.
Suggestions on how to say it to her: "Listen, I know things are a bit tight for you at the moment, but you promised us you wouldn't download anything illegal again. You did, and we are liable. We can't take that risk. You need to get your own cable from now on." If she tries to argue, smile and say "This isn't up for discussion. I'm letting you know because I care about you, but this is our decision."
posted by Illuminated Clocks at 11:52 AM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
Suggestions on how to say it to her: "Listen, I know things are a bit tight for you at the moment, but you promised us you wouldn't download anything illegal again. You did, and we are liable. We can't take that risk. You need to get your own cable from now on." If she tries to argue, smile and say "This isn't up for discussion. I'm letting you know because I care about you, but this is our decision."
posted by Illuminated Clocks at 11:52 AM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
You can always say: "I don't want to be in a position where I would blame you or wonder if you were involved (or anyone else) if there is another copyright notice because that would come between our friendship. Therefore, I made sure there is no chance this could happen by removing you from our internet connection. When the next copyright notice comes then I am 100% sure it isn't from your internet activity."
posted by jazh at 11:55 AM on December 9, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by jazh at 11:55 AM on December 9, 2015 [7 favorites]
If it was me, I wouldn't spend a minute thinking about what to say because I wouldn't ever be speaking to her again. What she's doing is bullshit.
posted by humboldt32 at 11:58 AM on December 9, 2015
posted by humboldt32 at 11:58 AM on December 9, 2015
Hi Friend, These copyright infringements are serious and can result is serious fines. We just can't take that risk, so we changed the password on our wifi.
But ... stuff
Yeah, that's why we didn't change it the 1st time. I know it's tempting, but we just aren't willing to take the risk.
posted by theora55 at 11:59 AM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
But ... stuff
Yeah, that's why we didn't change it the 1st time. I know it's tempting, but we just aren't willing to take the risk.
posted by theora55 at 11:59 AM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
I'm surprised this has been up for an hour and no one's said upside-down-ternet yet.
posted by Brian Puccio at 11:59 AM on December 9, 2015 [20 favorites]
posted by Brian Puccio at 11:59 AM on December 9, 2015 [20 favorites]
I would send her an email:
Hey! There is NO WAY we can afford a copyright infringement fine, and the stress of worrying about it is wearing us down. After some research, we've discovered that sometimes there's a "three strikes" rule. So unfortunately we are forced to change our wifi password. We were able to handle it after the first warning, but the second one has us wringing our hands. I'm sure you understand, since we discussed it the first time.
Sorry....
posted by raisingsand at 12:01 PM on December 9, 2015
Hey! There is NO WAY we can afford a copyright infringement fine, and the stress of worrying about it is wearing us down. After some research, we've discovered that sometimes there's a "three strikes" rule. So unfortunately we are forced to change our wifi password. We were able to handle it after the first warning, but the second one has us wringing our hands. I'm sure you understand, since we discussed it the first time.
Sorry....
posted by raisingsand at 12:01 PM on December 9, 2015
"Hey, so we got a letter from our ISP, and now we can't share our wifi."
posted by zippy at 12:08 PM on December 9, 2015 [16 favorites]
posted by zippy at 12:08 PM on December 9, 2015 [16 favorites]
Some people are givers and some people are takers. You're a giver -- you were a thoughtful, considerate, contributing housemate for a few months. You don't owe her anything.
She's a taker, and she's taking advantage of you. And even though she's completely in the wrong, your giving attitude makes you feel guilty about cutting her off.
Don't feel guilty. Cut her off.
posted by Ostara at 12:09 PM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
She's a taker, and she's taking advantage of you. And even though she's completely in the wrong, your giving attitude makes you feel guilty about cutting her off.
Don't feel guilty. Cut her off.
posted by Ostara at 12:09 PM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
+1 to she can do untold damage to you, your reputation and freedom if she so chooses to abuse you/your internet connection. I'd not give her a warning or grace period.
posted by Jacen at 12:13 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Jacen at 12:13 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
Cut her off. You say you suck at confrontation and the good news is you don't need to have one. You told her it happened before and she said it would not happen again. Then you informed her it happened again. Confrontation over.
The fact that you stayed with her is a red herring and a guilt trip, btw. I don't care if you hadn't paid toward bills; one doesn't have anything to do with the other. This has crossed a line and you don't "owe" her anything, particularly outside the bounds of the law! Come on. I'm with your fiance.
In no way are you the asshole here and if she has the gall to suggest you are, then she is a nightmare person whose opinion of you doesn't count.
posted by kapers at 12:20 PM on December 9, 2015 [8 favorites]
The fact that you stayed with her is a red herring and a guilt trip, btw. I don't care if you hadn't paid toward bills; one doesn't have anything to do with the other. This has crossed a line and you don't "owe" her anything, particularly outside the bounds of the law! Come on. I'm with your fiance.
In no way are you the asshole here and if she has the gall to suggest you are, then she is a nightmare person whose opinion of you doesn't count.
posted by kapers at 12:20 PM on December 9, 2015 [8 favorites]
I agree with everyone - cut her off, like, yesterday. Honestly? I hate to say this, but it seems to me like she took advantage of your generosity. How? a) everything you did when you lived with her (cleaning up, lending her your car, etc.); b) insisting on using your Wi-Fi; and c) not taking your request about downloading illegal software (or accessing illegal websites) seriously. She took advantage of you from the start go.
She seems like a friend I wouldn't deem worthy. Just dump her off your Internet connection - do the whole works (change your SSID, password, and ban her MAC addresses on both her computer and/or phone). If she gives you a hard time, you know her true colors.
I would also keep an eye out for any further copyright infringement notices, and if necessary, explain the situation to your carrier. They may surprise you by being understanding. Not sure if that's bad advice, but it's worth a try.
Sorry you had to go through this.
posted by dubious_dude at 12:23 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
She seems like a friend I wouldn't deem worthy. Just dump her off your Internet connection - do the whole works (change your SSID, password, and ban her MAC addresses on both her computer and/or phone). If she gives you a hard time, you know her true colors.
I would also keep an eye out for any further copyright infringement notices, and if necessary, explain the situation to your carrier. They may surprise you by being understanding. Not sure if that's bad advice, but it's worth a try.
Sorry you had to go through this.
posted by dubious_dude at 12:23 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
There's a very real possibility the cable company will cut you off if you don't cut her off (and then NONE OF YOU HAVE INTERNET, including her). Change the password. Block the MAC address.
As for the "How?" I would change the password and let her figure it out. And if/when she confronts you about it just repeat that you couldn't risk having the cable cut off/being sued/your electronics being confiscated. You're not an asshole. She might call you an asshole, but she is wrong.
It's sad because you were close enough with this friend to live with her for months, but she is the one making things bad here, not you.
posted by mskyle at 12:25 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
As for the "How?" I would change the password and let her figure it out. And if/when she confronts you about it just repeat that you couldn't risk having the cable cut off/being sued/your electronics being confiscated. You're not an asshole. She might call you an asshole, but she is wrong.
It's sad because you were close enough with this friend to live with her for months, but she is the one making things bad here, not you.
posted by mskyle at 12:25 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
It isn't just copyright lawsuits you are looking at, a third strike may very well leave you without any internet service. You don't have the luxury to wait - cut her off now.
posted by Julnyes at 12:25 PM on December 9, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Julnyes at 12:25 PM on December 9, 2015 [5 favorites]
nthing those saying she's the one mooching, not you, and she's putting you at actual risk in doing so. Change your password at once and block her access.
She did you a favor by taking you in, and you paid her back and then some by covering your share of the costs, assuming the cleaning chores and letting her use your car.
You did her a favor by letting her use your WiFi, and she paid you back by sucking up your bandwidth and illegally downloading stuff that got you in hot water with your provide her.
Enough is enough. Cut her off, and if she asks for access again, remember Miss Manners' all-purpose demurral: "I'm sorry, that won't be possible."
posted by Gelatin at 12:35 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
She did you a favor by taking you in, and you paid her back and then some by covering your share of the costs, assuming the cleaning chores and letting her use your car.
You did her a favor by letting her use your WiFi, and she paid you back by sucking up your bandwidth and illegally downloading stuff that got you in hot water with your provide her.
Enough is enough. Cut her off, and if she asks for access again, remember Miss Manners' all-purpose demurral: "I'm sorry, that won't be possible."
posted by Gelatin at 12:35 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
Cut her off now. No need (or reason!) to warn her: she already knows. Just change your password and never share it with her again.
There's no reason for you to feel guilty; after all, you weren't really her guest for those six months, you were a fully-paid-up roommate. You paid half the bills PLUS gave her free transportation and food: you had more than paid everything you could possibly owe her before you ever moved out. She's the freeloader in this equation, not you! Don't bother telling her in advance or asking her AGAIN to quit the downloads, just change your password.
posted by easily confused at 12:40 PM on December 9, 2015
There's no reason for you to feel guilty; after all, you weren't really her guest for those six months, you were a fully-paid-up roommate. You paid half the bills PLUS gave her free transportation and food: you had more than paid everything you could possibly owe her before you ever moved out. She's the freeloader in this equation, not you! Don't bother telling her in advance or asking her AGAIN to quit the downloads, just change your password.
posted by easily confused at 12:40 PM on December 9, 2015
"Ch-ch-ch-ch-CHANGES!" to your password
posted by glaucon at 12:43 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by glaucon at 12:43 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
Chiming in with "cut her off" but I would change the SSID in addition to the password, and don't broadcast the network name. It will just be invisible to everyone.
posted by The Deej at 12:44 PM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by The Deej at 12:44 PM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
The way my overcompensating brain would handle it would be to ban her MAC, cut her service and offer her a voucher for a month's fee for her own provider because of the lack of notice. I would feel that would assuage the awkward guilt I would feel. Guilt that I would know to be ridiculous. But I think you think like me a bit.
If you can live with it, cut her off and give her absolutely nothing. If you just can't, a month's fees after cut off and you can carry on guilt free forever.
posted by taff at 12:45 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
If you can live with it, cut her off and give her absolutely nothing. If you just can't, a month's fees after cut off and you can carry on guilt free forever.
posted by taff at 12:45 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
I agree with everyone that you should simply cut her off without warning; just note that it's at least theoretically possible that her computer or one of your computers is infected with a botnet or something that's actually doing the downloading. (In case, for example, you cut her off but still get another notice dated after the cutoff.)
posted by XMLicious at 12:45 PM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by XMLicious at 12:45 PM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
She offered to let me couchsurf for those 6 months. While a generous offer, it was definitely agreed that this was mutually beneficial. I had a place to sleep and a mailing address, and she had a houseguest that a.) paid half her bills (she was financially strapped), b.) had a car (her car had been repossesed), c.) purchased food and cooked it (she had been on food stamps) and d.) cleaned regularly (her schedule + ADD made her house a disaster).
You don't owe her anything. You paid more than enough for your stay at her home, and now she's been freely using and abusing your wifi for 10 months. Just change the password. No need to make up an excuse, if she asks, just say the truth, you're avoiding a fine or a service cut-off, "sorry".
posted by CrazyLemonade at 12:47 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
You don't owe her anything. You paid more than enough for your stay at her home, and now she's been freely using and abusing your wifi for 10 months. Just change the password. No need to make up an excuse, if she asks, just say the truth, you're avoiding a fine or a service cut-off, "sorry".
posted by CrazyLemonade at 12:47 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
The passive-aggressive approach is to go into your router and throttle her bandwidth so it is really slow. You can also block torrent traffic. Your own bandwidth would be unaffected.
What are the consequences of upsetting this person?
posted by mecran01 at 12:54 PM on December 9, 2015
What are the consequences of upsetting this person?
posted by mecran01 at 12:54 PM on December 9, 2015
If you REALLY don't want to be confrontational, just change the password and change your network name to something super-generic like "ATT75681" or "Printer Network 12B" or whatever, and if she asks, tell her that your company canceled your internet so you're just using the library's. There are probably a zillion randomly titled wifi networks like that in your area--she'll never be able to figure it out.
posted by Slinga at 12:55 PM on December 9, 2015 [22 favorites]
posted by Slinga at 12:55 PM on December 9, 2015 [22 favorites]
Response by poster: What are the consequences of upsetting this person?
Well, she's my neighbor. Might make things awkward.
Plus she has a vindictive streak a mile wide. I wouldn't be surprised to wake up with my tires slashed, unfortunately.
posted by tippy at 1:05 PM on December 9, 2015
Well, she's my neighbor. Might make things awkward.
Plus she has a vindictive streak a mile wide. I wouldn't be surprised to wake up with my tires slashed, unfortunately.
posted by tippy at 1:05 PM on December 9, 2015
Change password, stop broadcasting network name, play dumb if she ever brings it up. "Oh really? It's working fine for us!"
posted by sideofwry at 1:12 PM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by sideofwry at 1:12 PM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
Get a cheap/free/used wireless box and set it up with the old network's details, but don't actually connect it to the modem. Set your actual wireless to a new generic name/strong password as per above.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:16 PM on December 9, 2015 [18 favorites]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:16 PM on December 9, 2015 [18 favorites]
> Plus she has a vindictive streak a mile wide. I wouldn't be surprised to wake up with my tires slashed, unfortunately.
If that's the case then I'd go with mecran01's suggestion and either throttle/QoS her or just block torrent traffic. You can always play dumb and claim your ISP is doing it.
posted by Gev at 1:17 PM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
If that's the case then I'd go with mecran01's suggestion and either throttle/QoS her or just block torrent traffic. You can always play dumb and claim your ISP is doing it.
posted by Gev at 1:17 PM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
Hang on, this person not only is illegally abusing your very kind favor of loaning out your internet password, BUT ALSO you suspect she would damage your property if you cut her off? And YOU'RE the one who feels guilty and assholish?
You need a reality check, like, yesterday. Why are you friends with this person? I would do the bare minimum you feel you need to to escape this situation with minimal drama (i.e. be politer than you strictly need to be), but definitely do not allow her to continue taking advantage of you and essentially blackmailing you with whatever bullshit threats she has about property damage. And probably move and cut this person out of your life as soon as humanly possible, Jesus.
posted by rainbowbrite at 1:26 PM on December 9, 2015 [33 favorites]
You need a reality check, like, yesterday. Why are you friends with this person? I would do the bare minimum you feel you need to to escape this situation with minimal drama (i.e. be politer than you strictly need to be), but definitely do not allow her to continue taking advantage of you and essentially blackmailing you with whatever bullshit threats she has about property damage. And probably move and cut this person out of your life as soon as humanly possible, Jesus.
posted by rainbowbrite at 1:26 PM on December 9, 2015 [33 favorites]
Change the password, block her, and then immediately call her up and say your cable company called you about the violations and you made up some story about how you left the wifi unsecured and some neighbor (not her! You didn't tell them it was her! You wouldn't throw her under the bus like that!) must have used it and they were seriously going to cancel your service but you promised them you would set a password and secure it and they said well okay as long as we don't see any connections from outside your household on the wifi they'd let you keep the service so yeah you can't let her use it anymore doesn't that SUCK but what can you do, those corporate cable company assholes have you by the you-know-whats, right? Assholes! Such a bummer. Sorry!
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:27 PM on December 9, 2015 [13 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:27 PM on December 9, 2015 [13 favorites]
Yeah, I would, too. Throttle hers and block torrents and then shrug and say yours is working fine, not sure what the problem is.
posted by raisingsand at 1:27 PM on December 9, 2015
posted by raisingsand at 1:27 PM on December 9, 2015
I think that honestly a lot of the answers here are coming from a specific cultural perspective, but one that is not universally shared. The idea of whether it's okay or not to download "illegal" stuff is really not that clear cut for a lot of people as it seems to be for you. If I let someone use my wifi, I wouldn't be shocked in the slightest to find they'd been torrenting. Its not necessarily universally egregious activity for her to have been doing it.
You stayed at her house for six months, which is an extraordinary amount of time to host a down on their luck friend, even if they are financially contributing. If you are trying to figure out who owes who, you definitely still owe her. You could provide Internet for years and still not get up to the value of a free apartment for six months.
That said, you don't want to get cut off. I would phrase it like, "Hey, our ISP is really cracking down, so we can't share it anymore. I'm sorry, but we really need access to the Internet and can't afford for it to get cut off." There's no need to be a jerk about it, and it will only bring hassle to do so.
posted by corb at 1:36 PM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
You stayed at her house for six months, which is an extraordinary amount of time to host a down on their luck friend, even if they are financially contributing. If you are trying to figure out who owes who, you definitely still owe her. You could provide Internet for years and still not get up to the value of a free apartment for six months.
That said, you don't want to get cut off. I would phrase it like, "Hey, our ISP is really cracking down, so we can't share it anymore. I'm sorry, but we really need access to the Internet and can't afford for it to get cut off." There's no need to be a jerk about it, and it will only bring hassle to do so.
posted by corb at 1:36 PM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
It's possible that this *isn't* her fault: I mean, one of your own machines (maybe even the router), or one of hers, could have been hacked, and that could explain the slow network too (as could any number of other things). And her weird responses could be just her being weird, and/or having a guilty conscience about something that she doesn't realize is totally unrelated. You could try to do some amateur network sleuthing to figure out which machine the traffic's coming from, but... maybe that's not a good idea, and it's probably too late.
Occam's razor may favor your theory.
Anyway, I can certainly understand not wanting to share with her any more.
I'd be inclined just to cut it off immediately with an explanation that blames somebody else. ("Huh, well, sounds like it wasn't one of your computers, so I don't understand what's causing this. But anyway the company's just going to cut us off completely if we keep sharing with our neighbors, sorry!" Your contract may well forbid sharing with neighbors anyway.)
posted by bfields at 1:37 PM on December 9, 2015
Occam's razor may favor your theory.
Anyway, I can certainly understand not wanting to share with her any more.
I'd be inclined just to cut it off immediately with an explanation that blames somebody else. ("Huh, well, sounds like it wasn't one of your computers, so I don't understand what's causing this. But anyway the company's just going to cut us off completely if we keep sharing with our neighbors, sorry!" Your contract may well forbid sharing with neighbors anyway.)
posted by bfields at 1:37 PM on December 9, 2015
I agree with lots of other people:
- No warning given
- Block her MAC (or enable MAC filtering so just your devices work)
- Change the SSID and maybe stop broadcasting it too
- Change the password
- Use any of the explanations given by the folks above that you feel you can really say to her. Be ready to deploy "I'm sorry, that's just not possible."
Free additional advice: never vouch for her with any other landlords or service providers. No recommendations, no tips, and for the love of all that is holy never cosign anything or "lend" her deposit money or anything. Your good name and your resources are not worth risking on someone who exhibits these behaviors!
Also please work on developing better boundaries because your guilt/anxiety/accepting-abuse stuff here is really unhealthy and legitimately dangerous to you and the people you care about. It is also doing no real favors to the person you are enabling.
posted by SMPA at 1:40 PM on December 9, 2015 [10 favorites]
- No warning given
- Block her MAC (or enable MAC filtering so just your devices work)
- Change the SSID and maybe stop broadcasting it too
- Change the password
- Use any of the explanations given by the folks above that you feel you can really say to her. Be ready to deploy "I'm sorry, that's just not possible."
Free additional advice: never vouch for her with any other landlords or service providers. No recommendations, no tips, and for the love of all that is holy never cosign anything or "lend" her deposit money or anything. Your good name and your resources are not worth risking on someone who exhibits these behaviors!
Also please work on developing better boundaries because your guilt/anxiety/accepting-abuse stuff here is really unhealthy and legitimately dangerous to you and the people you care about. It is also doing no real favors to the person you are enabling.
posted by SMPA at 1:40 PM on December 9, 2015 [10 favorites]
I think that honestly a lot of the answers here are coming from a specific cultural perspective, but one that is not universally shared. The idea of whether it's okay or not to download "illegal" stuff is really not that clear cut for a lot of people as it seems to be for you. If I let someone use my wifi, I wouldn't be shocked in the slightest to find they'd been torrenting. Its not necessarily universally egregious activity for her to have been doing it.
100% true before the first warning from the ISP, but this cultural explanation completely falls apart after the first warning arrived and the friend continued the behavior after being asked to stop.
posted by rainbowbrite at 1:40 PM on December 9, 2015 [40 favorites]
100% true before the first warning from the ISP, but this cultural explanation completely falls apart after the first warning arrived and the friend continued the behavior after being asked to stop.
posted by rainbowbrite at 1:40 PM on December 9, 2015 [40 favorites]
Seconding rainbowbrite's responses: this is someone you need to cut out of your life pretty quickly. And yeah, we could probably argue all day about whether it's ethical to torrent, whether it's a valid part of someone's cultural tradition to do that, blahdeeblahdeeblah, but that's a total red herring and completely beside the point because you asked her to stop and she didn't after assuring you that she would, and then got annoyed when you asked her a second time. That's bullshit, full stop, sheesh, and I don't care how long she let you stay at her place.
posted by holborne at 1:47 PM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by holborne at 1:47 PM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
100% end her access to your wifi immediately. Change the name of the connection and password NOW, email her and say that your cable company required that you change the password and made you sign a document that states that you are totally responsible for keeping the password secret and can be liable for any damages. Tell her that you're sorry, that your back is against the wall and they have your signed declaration that they can use to sue you.
If she'd really damage your property, make sure your insurance is up to date and covers vandalism.
posted by quince at 1:54 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
If she'd really damage your property, make sure your insurance is up to date and covers vandalism.
posted by quince at 1:54 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
If things get "awkward" know that it is SHE who put you in an awkward position when she had no compunction about continuing to do what she had said she wouldn't, then feed you BS about it. Let it be awkward, let it get coldly polite. I know that is difficult for the conflict-avoidant but I promise you the world will not explode if you dial back the friendliness. Also, she will not become a cool friend if you just do whatever she wants. She's still the jerk who did this to you.
If she is a criminal, and would take "revenge" (for what? you haven't done anything, she's in the wrong here) by damaging your property? Then please know you can't be expected to prevent her from being an unbelievable asshole by being her doormat the rest of your life. That's no way to live.
posted by kapers at 1:58 PM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
If she is a criminal, and would take "revenge" (for what? you haven't done anything, she's in the wrong here) by damaging your property? Then please know you can't be expected to prevent her from being an unbelievable asshole by being her doormat the rest of your life. That's no way to live.
posted by kapers at 1:58 PM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
Change the password, particularly if it's not even her, but an even more unscrupulous neighbor who figured out your wifi password.
Not much advice on the fallout from this, other than saying that it is YOUR utility that YOU want to keep.
posted by kuanes at 1:58 PM on December 9, 2015
Not much advice on the fallout from this, other than saying that it is YOUR utility that YOU want to keep.
posted by kuanes at 1:58 PM on December 9, 2015
change the password, don't broadcast the id, tell her that you've had to restrict the wifi to only allow for your devices (which btw is something you can set up on your router probably) so you can be sure no one is piggybacking on the more open system you had before. don't make it about cutting her off, make it about restricting it to only a few of your devices for security reasons. if she asks to be one of the allowed devices, "i'm sorry that won't be possible" is all you need to say.
posted by nadawi at 2:00 PM on December 9, 2015
posted by nadawi at 2:00 PM on December 9, 2015
You stayed at her house for six months, which is an extraordinary amount of time to host a down on their luck friend, even if they are financially contributing. If you are trying to figure out who owes who, you definitely still owe her. You could provide Internet for years and still not get up to the value of a free apartment for six months.
I get that, but at the same time, there are a zillion people across the world crashing with their friends and relatives and not paying a dime. The fact that you were paying HALF puts you in the top 1% of those folks. I don't think you owe her free wifi.
posted by Slinga at 2:02 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
I get that, but at the same time, there are a zillion people across the world crashing with their friends and relatives and not paying a dime. The fact that you were paying HALF puts you in the top 1% of those folks. I don't think you owe her free wifi.
posted by Slinga at 2:02 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
Plus she has a vindictive streak a mile wide. I wouldn't be surprised to wake up with my tires slashed, unfortunately
So this is someone who takes advantage of a generous offer to share internet access by using that internet access to make illegal downloads, thus getting her host in trouble - and THEN reacts to being cut off from the free internet by destroying her generous neighbor's property?
WOW. Just WOW. This person is in no way, shape, or form, your friend. She is a narcissist and a user and doesn't deserve good friends. The sooner you block her from your internet and get her the hell out of your life, the better. It never, ever ends well with these kinds of people. BT, DT, got the T-shirt though thankfully not the cease and desist letter. (I did get vet bills but that's a whole other story.)
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 2:09 PM on December 9, 2015 [11 favorites]
Copyright enforcement companies sometimes get the IP address wrong, by the way. While a letter from the ISP, to me, says "nope, can't share anymore," know that it is not guaranteed that your neighbor, or anyone else on your wifi, actually did anything wrong.
posted by zippy at 2:37 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by zippy at 2:37 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
Also, are you by any chance running a free VPN service in your browser or on your desktop? Or is your neighbor? If so, know that some of the free VPN services allow you to use other user's IP addresses, and other users and corporate clients to use yours.
posted by zippy at 2:39 PM on December 9, 2015
posted by zippy at 2:39 PM on December 9, 2015
Yeah, I think for me it would depend on what the second offense was. Was it the exact same thing or something else that breaks copyright? That could be anything. A copy of software that she didn't realize was illegal, watching a movie, reading a book - those are all fundamentally different from each other such that she might not realize they were related. Is there a good faith explanation where she's not a jerk? It might be good to at least look at that.
posted by corb at 2:40 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by corb at 2:40 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
Everyone's right, but since you probably can't just break your lease, and you think there's a legit possibility she'll slash your tires, maybe go with juniperesque's approach. (And plan to move. Unless she's invited to move, which may be a possibility - sounds like she's in a bad place. But that's not your fault, and she's not really giving you an option with these notices.)
posted by cotton dress sock at 2:46 PM on December 9, 2015
posted by cotton dress sock at 2:46 PM on December 9, 2015
I think for me it would depend on what the second offense was.
Doesn't really matter if the ISP's following its own three-strikes rule. She can be "not a jerk" and it's still in the OP's best interest to kick her off the wifi ASAP. If somebody floods your bathroom twice, once from the sink and the next time from the toilet, then no more bathroom privileges for that somebody.
posted by holgate at 2:47 PM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
Doesn't really matter if the ISP's following its own three-strikes rule. She can be "not a jerk" and it's still in the OP's best interest to kick her off the wifi ASAP. If somebody floods your bathroom twice, once from the sink and the next time from the toilet, then no more bathroom privileges for that somebody.
posted by holgate at 2:47 PM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
This person is not your friend, BTW.
Tell her your ISP cut you off. Then change the password.
posted by oneirodynia at 2:57 PM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
Tell her your ISP cut you off. Then change the password.
posted by oneirodynia at 2:57 PM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
What the fuck, cut her the fuck off. This is not a friend, this is a shitty person. Hide the connection, change the password to some randomly generated 25 character thing, and plan for a future far away from this asshole. If she borrowed your car and got a bunch of parking tickets that she never paid resulting in your car being towed, would you keep lending her the car? It doesn't matter whether or not YOU YOURSELF would ever download something, it matters that she's been asked to STOP FUCKING AROUND in your name and she just doesn't give a fuck about anything but herself and her own desires.
posted by poffin boffin at 3:10 PM on December 9, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 3:10 PM on December 9, 2015 [9 favorites]
Tell her your cable company said they're going to cut you off and you think it'd be easiest if she got internet in her own name and let you use it. Listen to all her excuses about why that won't be possible and learn from her how to do it.
posted by the agents of KAOS at 3:13 PM on December 9, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by the agents of KAOS at 3:13 PM on December 9, 2015 [10 favorites]
Also, change the SSID of your network and make it hidden, for extra safety.
posted by the agents of KAOS at 3:14 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by the agents of KAOS at 3:14 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
Less than ideal alternate solution that still leaves you in a relationship with a difficult person: Change your network name/password, tell her your internet got shut off, could she please open a new internet account in HER name and you'll share the bill with her, (cancel yours once it's up and running) - and then the onus is on her to behave.
posted by stray at 3:31 PM on December 9, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by stray at 3:31 PM on December 9, 2015 [5 favorites]
I would cut her off permanently after one strike. That's what I did with my neighbor when I let them use my wifi and the same thing happened.
Change the password. Do not try to throttle her or block torrenting: Throttling can still result in infringement notices, and there is no guaranteed way to block torrenting (security.stackexchange.com).
If you change the password to something secure, there is absolutely no reason to change or mask the SSID or block her MAC address--Neither of those will stop a determined person, but a secure password will.
Just change the password.
posted by jjwiseman at 7:01 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
Change the password. Do not try to throttle her or block torrenting: Throttling can still result in infringement notices, and there is no guaranteed way to block torrenting (security.stackexchange.com).
If you change the password to something secure, there is absolutely no reason to change or mask the SSID or block her MAC address--Neither of those will stop a determined person, but a secure password will.
Just change the password.
posted by jjwiseman at 7:01 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
For the record, changing the SSID is an important part of pretending to your friend that your internet connection no longer exists. If you can come up with a plausible reason why you'd be running a wifi network with no internet, then of course you can leave it the same.
posted by the agents of KAOS at 7:10 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by the agents of KAOS at 7:10 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: FYI: hid SSID and changed password. Cue barrage of manipulative texts.
I think she owes the cable company hundreds of dollars, so I doubt she is able to afford to set up her own services. Oh well.
posted by tippy at 7:54 PM on December 9, 2015 [21 favorites]
I think she owes the cable company hundreds of dollars, so I doubt she is able to afford to set up her own services. Oh well.
posted by tippy at 7:54 PM on December 9, 2015 [21 favorites]
Then that's her problem, isn't it? You paid half the bills while you stayed with her for six months, and in return she's spent ten months putting you at risk of lawsuits and thousands of dollars if fines. I'd say you've been more than fair.
posted by easily confused at 8:14 PM on December 9, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by easily confused at 8:14 PM on December 9, 2015 [7 favorites]
Just want to share my ninja sentence for guilt trippers who try to make their problems mine: "Yeah, that sucks. I hope you'll find a solution that works for you."
posted by Omnomnom at 12:13 AM on December 10, 2015 [32 favorites]
posted by Omnomnom at 12:13 AM on December 10, 2015 [32 favorites]
This person is a user
(especially if you were paying half the rent and forced to stay on the couch!)
That is bad enough, but now she is basically breaking the law using your identity.
I get it, she doesn't like paying for things, but if she wants internet access, she needs to pay for it. And if she's planning on continuing to download copyrighted materials that she has no right to, then she needs to the one who is facing the consequences (not you).
No "three strikes" exception for her--that may be the point when you start getting served with papers or something.
Change the password and if she has the cheek to ask What's Up, or ask for the new password, tell her that she was warned and then it happened again. You're now doing the one thing that ensures that it never happens again.
posted by blueberry at 4:08 AM on December 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
(especially if you were paying half the rent and forced to stay on the couch!)
That is bad enough, but now she is basically breaking the law using your identity.
I get it, she doesn't like paying for things, but if she wants internet access, she needs to pay for it. And if she's planning on continuing to download copyrighted materials that she has no right to, then she needs to the one who is facing the consequences (not you).
No "three strikes" exception for her--that may be the point when you start getting served with papers or something.
Change the password and if she has the cheek to ask What's Up, or ask for the new password, tell her that she was warned and then it happened again. You're now doing the one thing that ensures that it never happens again.
posted by blueberry at 4:08 AM on December 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
Hiding your SSID and banning MAC addresses is security theatre, not real security, and will therefore cause more trouble for legitimate users of your network than it could ever prevent from attackers.
Real Wifi security means setting up your wireless access point to allow WPA2 only, with a long, random, machine-generated password, and disabling WPS.
posted by flabdablet at 5:31 AM on December 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
Real Wifi security means setting up your wireless access point to allow WPA2 only, with a long, random, machine-generated password, and disabling WPS.
posted by flabdablet at 5:31 AM on December 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
I think she owes the cable company hundreds of dollars, so I doubt she is able to afford to set up her own services.
And that's your problem, or anyone else's but her own - how? I can understand getting behind on bills due to falling on hard times, but if that's her situation, she needs to solve it herself, in an above-board manner, like a grown-ass adult. Not by grifting and threatening.
Maybe her own cable company cut her off for one too many illegal downloads?
Protect yourself and your property. Her problems are not your responsibility to solve.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 5:32 AM on December 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
And that's your problem, or anyone else's but her own - how? I can understand getting behind on bills due to falling on hard times, but if that's her situation, she needs to solve it herself, in an above-board manner, like a grown-ass adult. Not by grifting and threatening.
Maybe her own cable company cut her off for one too many illegal downloads?
Protect yourself and your property. Her problems are not your responsibility to solve.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 5:32 AM on December 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
changing the SSID is an important part of pretending to your friend that your internet connection no longer exists.
Being completely up-front about what you've done and why is an important part of limiting the extent to which your friend can create unnecessary drama for you.
posted by flabdablet at 5:34 AM on December 10, 2015 [3 favorites]
Being completely up-front about what you've done and why is an important part of limiting the extent to which your friend can create unnecessary drama for you.
posted by flabdablet at 5:34 AM on December 10, 2015 [3 favorites]
Too bad, so sad! She can go to the library to do what she needs to do. Oh, wait... except for torrenting. Oh, well.
posted by SillyShepherd at 6:15 AM on December 10, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by SillyShepherd at 6:15 AM on December 10, 2015 [3 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by headnsouth at 11:07 AM on December 9, 2015 [121 favorites]