Men's underwear frustrations

November 30, 2015 6:26 AM

I need help finding underwear that is comfortable for me. I am a man, about 260 pounds, and I only like briefs. Embarrassing details inside.

OK, I feel ridiculous writing this, but here I go.

I've been wearing XL cotton Hanes Comfortsoft for a few years now and it's time to replace them. I've been having one major problem with this size/style that I can't seem to find any discussion about online. The holes for the legs stretch out and the underwear sags between my balls and my thighs. I think I have large balls (not sure how to confirm this) so that's probably an issue (I know, TMI - but it's anonymous, right?). So the elastic around the leg doesn't stay tight in the 'crease' between my thigh and my groin. For some reason this drives me crazy, so I'm adjusting my underwear all day long to try to get it back into that crease.

This is also why I only like briefs - I want underwear that is fitted in that area - to keep my balls separate from my thighs. In reading reviews and advice about underwear for larger men, this is never mentioned. I know boxer briefs are popular with large men but I don't think they would provide the tight elastic and separation where I want it.

I just tried getting some more pairs of the same style. The XL was tight in the waist and there wasn't enough material in the groin to completely cover the area I want covered. I got a pack of XXL and they get so stretched out in that there's sometimes an inch or two of space between my groin and the elastic in the groin area.

I think I may need to try something with a "pouch" - maybe this would provide more material to completely go around my balls? And maybe underwear that's not just cotton, but a blend with some lycra or spandex to help it keep it's shape. This Jockey pair looks like an option but I have no idea if I'm on the right track.

Thanks for any feedback or advice. I have no idea how to chat about underwear and balls with other men so MeFi is my best option. (I tried emailing customer service at an underwear website, but they just sent me links to a bunch of low-rise, fashion underwear which would totally not be right for me.)

So the factors I'm trying to figure out are brand, style, pouch, material, and size. Thanks for any help!

posted by anonymous to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (19 answers total)

Saxx
posted by rustcrumb at 6:47 AM on November 30, 2015 [1 favorite]

I also like that tucked feeling and my favorite underwear at this point is the Jockey Travel Microfiber Brief. I have had mine for over a year and they are still in good shape.
posted by alms at 6:47 AM on November 30, 2015

I have several pairs of these Under Armour boxer briefs. I feel much cooler and more comfortable than when I wore cotton. They have a pouch construction, so that might help with your dilemma.
posted by Fleebnork at 6:57 AM on November 30, 2015

Have you tried trunk style underwear? They're like a boxer brief with a shorter leg, which might help keep them tight in the crease of your leg while also giving you more ball space.
posted by colfax at 7:09 AM on November 30, 2015 [2 favorites]

I was considering Saxx as a gift. Pricey, but I agree they might be your high-end solution.

It seems like the feeling you want is more likely to be had from a style called a Boxer Brief in most brands that are less expensive and easily available.
posted by jbenben at 7:10 AM on November 30, 2015

Under Armour is probably a good bet for you.
posted by xingcat at 7:24 AM on November 30, 2015

Me Undies is another good option, $16 if you get a sub, but $20 otherwise. They go up to 3XL and fit true to size. I get them for myself and my partner and we both only have good things to say about comfort and support. Also, if you hate them, shoot their customer service an email and they'll refund you no questions asked.
posted by Marinara at 7:50 AM on November 30, 2015

My guy had a similar situation though it annoyed me a lot more than it annoyed him! He switched to Calvin Klein micro modal trunks--the fabric is soft, the pouch is comfortable (so he says), many colors are available on amazon.com. The size chart says XL corresponds 40"-42" waist so maybe these will work for you too.
posted by esoterrica at 8:00 AM on November 30, 2015

Some styles of boxer briefs actually do provide the lift & separation that you require, also having some coverage of the leg helps with the balls sticking to the thigh problem, according to my husband. We had a similar underwear hunt a few years ago as he too had a similar problem & is a larger guy both weight & err underwear wise. He swears by the Thorobred by Jockey boxer briefs, which we can only seem to find at Target stores & their site is down so sorry I can't link.
posted by wwax at 8:40 AM on November 30, 2015

Check out Duluth Trading's Buck Naked line. They advertise boxer briefs in all the commercials, but have the "performance" briefs as well. I wear nothing but this line and they last me typically 3 years (barring the occasional manufacturing defect).
posted by mfu at 9:23 AM on November 30, 2015 [1 favorite]

Me Undies is another good option, $16 if you get a sub, but $20 otherwise. They go up to 3XL and fit true to size. I get them for myself and my partner and we both only have good things to say about comfort and support. Also, if you hate them, shoot their customer service an email and they'll refund you no questions asked.

If you have a bigger butt they are way out of proportion, FYI.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 9:31 AM on November 30, 2015

This is a bit of a sideline of thought, and I'm looking for new underwear at this point too and have no answer yet, but the first time I tried the brand you're talking about, they held up (heh) for a while, and then all of a sudden and all at the same time, they lost their stretch (or ball bearings, if you will). Sagging ensued, and so I find myself throwing away otherwise perfectly fine underpants only because they lost their zing.

So, as far as I've been able to observe this, it ain't necessarily TMI, but just a crappy product camouflaged as a 'brand'.
posted by Namlit at 11:25 AM on November 30, 2015

I avoid anything Jockey makes for men, as their designers appear to have never actually met a man or just have a hatred for them. Everything I've tried from them has fit poorly and been uncomfortable.
posted by Candleman at 11:29 AM on November 30, 2015 [1 favorite]

My husband, whose previously swore by Under Armour, now really likes Mack Weldon. And they've got a thing where you order one pair and if you don't like it, you can get a different size or style or a refund, so it's worth a try. (Might be worth trying the trunk style, too.)
posted by telophase at 12:57 PM on November 30, 2015

I am female but have a big booty and similar complaints. I highly recommend Thunderpants for staying put, washing well, lasting forever, and general total comfort. They're like a t-shirt for your groin! I had no idea I was expending so much subconscious energy noticing and fixing undies that were continually sneaking into my crack. Sympathies, man.
posted by jrobin276 at 1:10 PM on November 30, 2015

If it's the elastic edging giving way, you can replace it with something exactly as stretchy as you like. This is probably machine sewing, and you'd likely need to do it yourself, but sometimes "custom and cheap" means DIY.
posted by clew at 3:25 PM on November 30, 2015

I have exactly the same problem as you (although I wear size M) - I would have to keep tucking my nads back into my undies every 20 minutes. So I only wear briefs and I can recommend these Jockey Dry Mesh Briefs that I hope are available in your location. 10/10 for support and comfort

I also bought a bunch of Addicted (link maybe NSFW) brand undies - mostly briefs - which are a lot more pricey, but holy hell they are comfortable. A thicker waistband seems to help too
posted by malpractice at 4:56 PM on November 30, 2015

I'm thinking you actually do want to switch to boxer-briefs, because the leg fits around your thigh more like a sock than a single elastic band. So it's less like a cup for the goods, and more like a sleeve over your thighs. But, same effect. If the leg of the underwear is around your thigh, well, nothing else can touch your thigh.
posted by ctmf at 8:08 PM on November 30, 2015

True story. Based on some of the comments in this thread, I bought both my son and my husband some Saxx for Christmas. It was done kind of as a joke because my husband's mother gives him underwear every. single. Christmas. and has since he was a kid. She gives everyone new underwear every year. It's 6 pairs of white fruit of the loom jockey style underwear. So sad.

Sooooo anyway....both my son and husband freaked out over how amazing the Saxx are and did, indeed, call them life-changing, as it says right on the package. They're both already asking for more. So there's that.

PS if you follow them on IG or twitter they announce sales where the prices drop by 50%.
posted by the webmistress at 8:11 AM on December 28, 2015