When to quit my job while taking leave?
November 24, 2015 12:30 AM   Subscribe

I am starting maternity leave in a few weeks. My company believes I will be back about 12 weeks after that. I, however, know I am not coming back to this position afterwards. I'm trying to figure out when I should tell my employer in order to still receive full maternity benefits (both from my employer and from the state of California) but also not be a jerk.

I am going back to work about 12 weeks after I start leave, just not back to work here (I'm currently finalizing negotiations and start date for a new position at a different company). This company went through a lot of changes and downsizing about 4 months ago, and I told myself I'd wait it out until I left on maternity leave to see if I wanted to stay, but the way they treated people then and since then and the way my job has changed for the worse means now it's obvious to me that coming back here would make me completely miserable. Plus my new offer is fantastic.

Relevant details & information:
  • If it's relevant, I do not qualify for FMLA.
  • My company (generously stated) misled me from the time I was asking about benefits before I accepted the position until the time I actually started filling out paperwork as to the extent of maternity leave benefits I would get, and I'm getting much less than I believed I was told (this was the straw that broke the camel's back on my leaving). But what it comes down to is I need to be on the books for 6 weeks after I leave to receive even the minimal amount that they will give me. No benefits (health insurance, etc.) are included, and there's no payback period involved after that. I do not feel bad at all about taking these benefits and then quitting.
  • The company will not replace/backfill me (at least not in the next 6 months to a year), so letting them know later will not have any effect on a hiring process or anything. Obviously I'm doing a ton of documentation and knowledge transfer now anyway because they know I'll be gone for a while.
  • I'm not especially worried about any individual people being pissed at me. Those people who are my references from this job don't work here anymore, and the HR employment-confirmation-level people are a centralized office type thing and have never met me and don't care. The person I officially report to right now I only peripherally work with and barely talk to, and there's nobody else on my team. That said, I do like the people I work with and you never know as far as bridge burning, so I would like to minimize fallout.
  • I will be receiving California SDI benefits and then PFL benefits while I'm not working. It is my understanding that I don't actually have to be employed/on ice at my employer to get those benefits as long as I was in the period they use to calculate the benefit received, but if anyone is sure that's wrong please let me know...
  • Based on what they've done to other people who have quit lately, there is a good chance they will try to get me to stay/counteroffer me. I know there are no circumstances where I would accept that.
So the options as I see them are:
  • Tell before I go. This is not an option because I am pissed enough about being misled on the leave benefits that I'm taking the ones I'm getting.
  • Tell 6 weeks after I leave, when my maternity leave benefits end. This seems bad somehow... like it will be too directly tied to the benefits and people might be even more angry at me? Plus I have said I will be available while on leave for emergency questions that nobody else knows the answer to and I know people will feel like they shouldn't contact me... once I officially say I'm not working here they'll really feel that way and I do want to help until they can do as much as possible without my help.
  • Tell 2 weeks before I'm due to come back. This feels both like a good option and like the most jerk option.
  • Something else?
So basically I'd appreciate any perspective here from outside myself. If you were my employer when would you want to know, balanced with the fact that I'm taking my mat benefits one way or another? Is there anything I'm not thinking of? Does the fact that I'm leaving for a different job as opposed to leaving to stay home with the kid make a difference?
posted by anonymous to Work & Money (13 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
Definitely maximize your own self-interest. Take everything you are entitled to snd then quit guilt-free. Remember these benefits are part of your compensation - you are legally owed them.

They may get angry or annoyed or try to guilt-trip you, but if they do that is not your problem at all, and i would encourage you to remove their behavior or their feelings from your decision-making process. Honestly I would even back off on offers to be on call during your leave. No doubt you feel pressure to be 'nice', but notice where that is coming from and whose interests it serves.

There is a gap between your actual obligations and what other people want from you. This would be a great time to draw the line at your actual obligations, and keep the rest of your energy for yourself and your family.
posted by PercussivePaul at 1:51 AM on November 24, 2015 [7 favorites]


This is easy. If your company did not need you any more they would get rid of you without so much as a moment's regret. This street runs both ways.

Take your 12 weeks and then say "I changed my mind and I'm not coming back."
posted by three blind mice at 2:11 AM on November 24, 2015 [35 favorites]


Tell them once telling them doesn't change your earned benefits. They would do the same thing if they were in your position. They won't be surprised, they know they need to deal with this kind of thing. I hope all goes well...
posted by HuronBob at 3:48 AM on November 24, 2015 [3 favorites]


I'm in the camp that says suck them dry for your mat leave benefits and then tell them you don't plan to return once they don't owe you anything.

Who cares if they're angry with you?
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 4:10 AM on November 24, 2015 [6 favorites]


I'm not clear what the six weeks are about... I know a lot of people who have had to actually go back in and work for six weeks (or some similar amount) after their maternity leaves in order to qualify for their leave benefits (and not have them clawed back), but they were actually getting benefits from their company, which it sounds like you are not actually getting. So I don't know about your case but just be very very sure you understand the rules. I've made anonymous calls to HR from other people's phones about this kind of thing.

Give notice whenever it doesn't make a difference (based on your description that would be six weeks in) so long as you are 100% sure you're right.
posted by mskyle at 4:44 AM on November 24, 2015


You should leave the back door open to return to your old company as long as possible for the very small possibilitiy that you might need it (who knows - new company goes bankrupt / rescinds their offer etc...)
posted by jazh at 5:57 AM on November 24, 2015 [3 favorites]


DO NOT tell before you go. If at any point you quit during or before leave, you will get NO benefits; your company is not legally required to offer any benefits the day that you indicate you're not coming back. This includes offering health benefits even if they're not paying the premium.

SDI is a different thing; I'm not sure how that works but I suspect that a voluntary quit means you no longer get benefits (because you're no longer on leave because a leave is defined as an agreed-upon period that you will return from.) Quit the day you come back, or give two weeks' notice. I don't think you need to be nice to them, but if you want to get benefits you probably have to pretend you're coming back.
posted by blnkfrnk at 6:20 AM on November 24, 2015


When I got pregnant and went on maternity leave, I worked at a good company with nice people -- and I still had no intention of coming back, because I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. My HR person told me -- and my boss concurred -- not to make any decisions until the end of maternity leave, just in case my intentions changed. So yeah, take that leave, enjoy every minute of it, and if you do end up wanting to quit, do it at the end.
posted by BlahLaLa at 6:24 AM on November 24, 2015 [13 favorites]


I think companies are used to people thinking one thing at the start of a mat leave and another by the end of it so I wouldn't sweat it. I'd go on leave and when it gets to the point where you'd need to fill out paperwork to come back just tell them you've "changed your mind" and won't be returning.
posted by machine at 6:52 AM on November 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


Nth'ing "Tell them at the end." I've had people who work for me go on parental leave, and I've learned to take it as a given that they won't come back, so if they do, Yay! I don't have to recruit someone new! and if they don't, well, I've spent several weeks/months seeing how the place runs without that person and I'll have a better idea of what I'll need from their replacement. I've never born anyone ill will for changing their mind, and if your soon-to-be-former bosses do, then they were looking for an excuse to think badly of you anyway.
posted by Etrigan at 7:27 AM on November 24, 2015 [5 favorites]


Nthing everybody here who says wait until the last day of your leave to tell them. You don't need to give them 2 weeks' notice since the things you would normally do during the two weeks (documenting your position, knowledge transfer, etc.) will already have been done before you started your leave. If you're worried about leaving anybody in the lurch, do the best job you can with your documentation and KT. You are not unethical for protecting your own interests and those of your soon-to-be born child.
posted by tuesdayschild at 8:28 AM on November 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


You have to look out for you. And I say that as someone who has suffered in my career from "she'll just get pregnant and not come back" sexism, but leave policies are such absolute bullshit you have to do what's actually best for you and your family.

They're going to assume you're not coming back anyway. Don't worry about hurting anyone's feelings.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:46 AM on November 24, 2015


They sound like they'd screw you the second you say you're leaving, so milk them for all you can.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:05 PM on November 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


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