What's a good date idea (we're in our 40s)?

October 23, 2015 4:46 PM

I'm a woman in my late 40s, haven't dated in a while, and was just set up with someone. We met for a drink, and it went all right. No electric sparks, but no terrible STOP signs either. He seems like a good guy, and I want to give it a chance, but since I didn't feel a strong attraction or flirty vibe, I'd like to do something for our next date OTHER than simply going out to dinner. What are some good date ideas for people our age, in NYC?
posted by gigondas to Human Relations (13 answers total)

Do something you're both terrible at. If it were me, I would choose karaoke or bowling. Nothing breaks the ice like being a dunce in front of your date. I'm 55, for context.
posted by janey47 at 4:48 PM on October 23, 2015 [4 favorites]

Perhaps an escape room? (You're "trapped" in a room in a staged scenario and have to figure out how to free yourselves using the provided props and clues.)
posted by contraption at 5:18 PM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]

I was also going to say bowling. Pool can also be fun on a date, and there's a pretty nice pool place in the Flatiron District -- Society Billiards and Bar (sorry, can't link because I'm on my phone).
posted by holborne at 5:29 PM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]

Scavenger hunt.

Museums.

A paint-and-drink-wine class.

Watch a documentary to discuss afterward.

Stroll in Central Park.

Go somewhere pretty /calm /boisterous (depends on your personalities) to play nostalgic board games.

Check out a haunted house for adults.

Something that would help you both relax and play and show a bit of real personality.
posted by enlivener at 5:30 PM on October 23, 2015

The ice rink at Rockefeller Center is open, and I believe Wollman Rink in Central Park opens this weekend. Could be fun, especially while it's still not freezing out.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 5:31 PM on October 23, 2015

The Met(ropolitan museum of art), it's such a nice place to learn, talk and muse.
posted by watrlily at 5:37 PM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]

Make pizza or something not too difficult, together (weekend lunch if you don't want to make it dinner). Wine while it's baking.
Watch a local kids sports game together. Bring beer!

No movies, TV, net, etc. The focus is about talking and getting to know each other with a little bit of distraction.
posted by artdrectr at 5:40 PM on October 23, 2015

I'm actually not a big fan of bowling when it's just two people who don't know each other very well - you spend most of the time walking past each other as you take your turns, there's not much time to chat!

My first date with my now-husband was at one of those places where you paint ceramics, and I loved it - if there's a lull in the conversation, you can just concentrate on your painting.
posted by sarahsynonymous at 5:50 PM on October 23, 2015 [3 favorites]

Museums. You can talk about stuff you see and learn a lot about someone in the process. Especially if there's a weird niche museum you're fond of.
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 5:54 PM on October 23, 2015 [3 favorites]

I think museums are always good for this -- easy distraction if things aren't going well but also easy things to talk about. It also provides a good end point if it's something you want to end ("OK, we saw that exhibit! Thanks!") but it's open-ended enough if you want to do something after. (Zoos and such also count there.) There is definitely enough to choose from.

Things like pool or bowling or karaoke really depend on the people involved -- if you both enjoy those things, good idea, but otherwise, it just feels like "let's go on a date!" (I also don't like dates where I feel outside my comfort zone -- being on a date is bad enough!)

One of those paint-and-drink classes (which ... I get the impression are a lot of women, though) or one of those ceramic paint-your-own-mug thing (I think that's still a thing) could be fun. It's casual enough it's not a big deal and anything with a set end-point is a good plan.

Even a walk with a set beginning and end may work, depending on the weather, but more pressure to keep the conversation going.

(Sometimes super-touristy shopping can work -- like going to Toys R Us or whatever and just looking at things -- but that also depends on the people involved. But the key is to go somewhere and let the stuff you're looking at do a lot of the work. And it gives you topics to talk about if you go somewhere else afterward.)
posted by darksong at 6:14 PM on October 23, 2015

I'm going to go against the usual askme grain and say that you should just get dinner or drinks again. If conversation and sparks don't come easily between you, maybe it just isn't happening? I always think contrived big date events just delay figuring out if this is a person with whom you'd like to hang hard.

That said, I agree that you shouldn't do a movie. And I like the museum idea.
posted by cakelite at 8:14 PM on October 23, 2015 [2 favorites]

Whatever you do I think it should involve sharing a passion or hobby or interest one of you genuinely has.

I think you get a lot of insight into another person by experiencing what they really love and doing so can really bring out the best in the other person.

IMO enthusiasm is a really attractive quality and so seeing this person in a situations where he is enthusiastically sharing something he's really into could make you see him in a new light.
posted by brookeb at 10:16 PM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]

Shuffle board at Royal Palms Shuffle Board Club in Gowanus.
posted by lunalaguna at 5:57 PM on October 24, 2015