Practical self care and techniques for coping with bipolar rage

October 21, 2015 12:22 AM

What are some practical and self care techniques for coping with bipolar rage?

I am looking for answers from those with first hand experience of having bipolar disorder. I am currently experiencing what I think is a mixed episode (I have an appointment with my doctor this morning) and have been feeling extremely irritable and angry and like I'm about to fly into a rage. I am extremely agitated and annoyed that I can't find practical tips online for this through Google so I'm turning here for some advice. What works for you? I find that I can't be around people that I'm close to, so besides curling into a ball in bed and yelling periodically, what else can I try?

Thank you.

posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (9 answers total)

This is becoming a problem for me too lately and my solution is to Clean All The (Unbreakable) Things. I don't like acting on the violence I feel bubbling up so I try to channel the negative energy into something productive and anal retentive. I also spend a good time swearing at the stuff I'm cleaning which is therepeutic. Unless it's my cat. Then I just sit there and seethe silently while I gently brush her fur because when I'm grumpy I'm much more thorough a groomer than normal. I don't think she cares too much that I'm muttering rude things under my breath while I do it. YMMV -- hang in there.
posted by Hermione Granger at 12:32 AM on October 21, 2015 [1 favorite]

Oh, gosh, anonymous, I am you.

I'm leaving my partner tomorrow because he, in anger at me, bipolar II on about 5 drugs, was explaining to him the epidemiological and non-curable nature of the disease. My mother has it and lives alone in a condo and hoards. She is is not "reachable" - you know? So I see my future (mother) and do not want to inflict myself on him in a great many ways, but potentially abusive is RED FLAG. (I was briefly married to my first husband, who ended up
hitting me. (The first sign, which I did not recognize, was throwing a valued object in my home out of anger. )

So, health first. Always.

Second. Keep an electronic or paper journal. Record all feelings.
Share with Pdoc. If s/he's any good, they will work with that.

Exercise, do chores, and record actions and REACTIONS. What has helped me the most, insanely, has been constant gratitude for what I have - roof, food, family, pets, plants, showers, sun, rain, etc.

So I have to leave my boyfriend. Sucks.

Bipolar II IS SO HARD. IT'S LIKE 20 years of trying different meds. I hate it.

My love to you :-).
posted by Punctual at 1:15 AM on October 21, 2015

Just an idea: your body is in a state of physical agitation/arousal. Jittery, elevated heartrate, probably tensed muscles.

Thing is, there are a bunch of different emotional states that cause the same physical symptoms, but have a different emotional impact. Like, anger, excitement, just having exercised a whole bunch, and erotic arousal kind of all look pretty similar in the body, so if you can switch your mental emotion, you'll just interpret the physical sensations as being part of that emotion.

Therefore, if you can't calm down or chill out, find something to do that WOULD make you have an elevated heartrate, or excited. Get some heavy exercise, or masturbate, or watch an exciting action movie which you know won't set you off further (preferably non-traumatic and predictable - Die Hard?), or put some exciting music on and DANCE.
Your body wants to fight or flight. Give it some exercise and kind of, let it do it.

Afterwards, you'll know you're just worked up because of the THING you were doing.

With the physical activities, once your body is a bit more tired, start transitioning to more mellow music, have a hot shower, see if you can chill out again. You kind of want to go up over the hump of agitation, and riding it back down again. If that makes any sense.


Or hey, that cleaning things. Sort your socks. Pick really small things to tidy. Tiny, achievable, but showing you have control over your surroundings and life.
posted by Elysum at 2:21 AM on October 21, 2015 [2 favorites]

i am not bipolar (as far as i know), so forgive me if this is no help, but going for a walk helps me when i am angry. it doesn't have to be to anywhere. just walk and walk til it wears off.
posted by andrewcooke at 4:55 AM on October 21, 2015

Cleaning. Cleaning did if for me. I once cleaned my house from top to bottom, over and over again... for two days, without sleeping in a manic frenzy. I feel your pain. My family knew that if I was cleaning, they needed to stay out of my way because if they interrupted me then all of that fury would be directed at them. It was my way to vent that energy without getting violent. My house was never so clean as when I was in a manic state. Thank god for meds, because I don't need to do that anymore.

If cleaning doesn't do it, go outside (if you have a garden) and mow, weed, dig, whatever... something physical to get the energy inside of you out. Walking might do it, but running is better if you're psychically able.

The important thing is to tell your friends and family to leave you alone until you're exhausted... and this could take a long time. The most important thing though, is to get help as quickly as possible because these things, cleaning, gardening, running, they're only stop-gates... temporary. Getting on the right meds and getting the right pdoc makes all of the difference in the world.
posted by patheral at 10:49 AM on October 21, 2015 [1 favorite]

Oh, and if cleaning isn't your thing... maybe rearrange the furniture in your house. All kinds of heavy lifting and it asserts control over your environment which gives you a sense of "I'm in control of something" as Elysum mentioned. I did that a lot too. Plus then I could clean behind the furniture.
posted by patheral at 10:55 AM on October 21, 2015

Take your mattress off your bed, and lean it against the wall. Punch the mattress until exhausted.
posted by culfinglin at 12:42 PM on October 21, 2015

I came back to suggest an alternative... You could find a hobby that requires your complete and utter attention. Like model building, or knitting or something like that. But be sure that it's something you already have the means to do, because the last thing you want is to go on a manic spending spree for your new hobby (been there, done that, saw the movie, bought the t-shirt). The manic mind wants to do something, it craves focus. That's why cleaning is such a good way to vent energy, because you can focus on getting every piece of dirt off of that toaster and making it shine. Seriously, it works, and all it takes is picking up a rag and wiping down that one thing, then it's off you go.

But that can work for anything... Pick up a crayon or colored pencil, and start coloring a complicated mandala that you can print offline. Make it the most complicated one you can find, and focus your complete energy on that. Some people find peace that way. So I've heard. YMMV.

Or draw if you don't want to color. Draw whatever you want. Some people find peace that way. But draw only with whatever you have on hand. Leave the expensive drawing equipment online where it belongs.

I used to read. Before I could download books for free, I would go to thrift stores, garage sales and libraries and get tons of books and read all day. Book after book after book. I'd chew through five books a day to escape the really real world and all of that fury that wanted out. Again, I wouldn't sleep for days.

So there are alternatives aside from the physical ones mentioned above. But as I mentioned before, the best thing is to get the right meds and the right pdoc. I haven't needed these self-help remedies in years thanks to both, and I'm certainly glad of that.
posted by patheral at 1:35 PM on October 21, 2015

Take a walk. Put on your boots and go kick a tree. Buy a kendo sword (rattan) and hit a rock or tree with it. All those have worked for me at one time or another.
posted by irisclara at 9:12 PM on October 21, 2015