Former supervisor sharing personal info with former colleague
October 14, 2015 11:22 AM Subscribe
Related to this question: My former supervisor is telling former colleagues that I "owe the company money" - is there any recourse here?
I'm not looking to get anyone in trouble, but legally is there any protection for me from a former supervisor who is telling former colleagues that I owe money to the former employer?
I paid $1500+ of the paycheck back and have a small balance remaining. She has been telling former colleagues I've not repaid the company, even though legally I have until the end of the year.
She has also gossiped and shared other details about me - mostly opinions but all designed to paint me in a bad light - which beyond being unprofessional, is hurtful. I try to see the good in people and left on what I assumed were good terms, but this was something I apparently was wrong about and the last few days have been a bit surprising.
I don't want blow back to the colleague who informed me of this, but I do just want to know what options exist, if any, just so I know.
Any help appreciated - thank you.
I'm not looking to get anyone in trouble, but legally is there any protection for me from a former supervisor who is telling former colleagues that I owe money to the former employer?
I paid $1500+ of the paycheck back and have a small balance remaining. She has been telling former colleagues I've not repaid the company, even though legally I have until the end of the year.
She has also gossiped and shared other details about me - mostly opinions but all designed to paint me in a bad light - which beyond being unprofessional, is hurtful. I try to see the good in people and left on what I assumed were good terms, but this was something I apparently was wrong about and the last few days have been a bit surprising.
I don't want blow back to the colleague who informed me of this, but I do just want to know what options exist, if any, just so I know.
Any help appreciated - thank you.
It sounds like your supervisor is being a dick about this. But unless she's saying something untrue (you do, in fact, owe your employer money, even though you acquired it through their error and you will soon have it paid back), I don't think you have legal recourse in most jurisdictions.
Just get your version of the truth out there, and try not to take the things she says personally (and don't seek out information about what she's saying about you... ignorance is bliss). FWIW, what she's doing reflects very poorly on her.
I once had a boss who trash-talked me after I left. It did hurt my career, and even though it was 15 years ago and I have had two more careers it still bothers me and I think she is s pretty terrible person. Nothing she said was untrue, but she was very unfair. Even when her bad references were making it hard for me to find a job, though, the hiring managers I spoke with were pretty grossed out by her behavior.
posted by mskyle at 11:39 AM on October 14, 2015 [7 favorites]
Just get your version of the truth out there, and try not to take the things she says personally (and don't seek out information about what she's saying about you... ignorance is bliss). FWIW, what she's doing reflects very poorly on her.
I once had a boss who trash-talked me after I left. It did hurt my career, and even though it was 15 years ago and I have had two more careers it still bothers me and I think she is s pretty terrible person. Nothing she said was untrue, but she was very unfair. Even when her bad references were making it hard for me to find a job, though, the hiring managers I spoke with were pretty grossed out by her behavior.
posted by mskyle at 11:39 AM on October 14, 2015 [7 favorites]
I wouldn't bother with lawyering up. It's all hearsay at this point, and any fight about that is likely to identify (or at least create suspicion on) your colleague.
The boss' behaviour is unprofessional, and with any references, that lack of professionalism will reveal itself soon enough.
I would grin and bear it, be professional as you can, and if pressed on the conflict, simply explain the situation as you did here -- that they made a payroll mistake, and you are doing your part to put things right again, and leave it at that.
posted by Capt. Renault at 11:48 AM on October 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
The boss' behaviour is unprofessional, and with any references, that lack of professionalism will reveal itself soon enough.
I would grin and bear it, be professional as you can, and if pressed on the conflict, simply explain the situation as you did here -- that they made a payroll mistake, and you are doing your part to put things right again, and leave it at that.
posted by Capt. Renault at 11:48 AM on October 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
If this is really affecting your career in a meaningful way (e.g. you lost a job offer or something) I'd consider a short letter to your former boss' boss saying you've become aware of her unprofessional behavior, that it reflects poorly on her and the company, and that as a professional courtesy you request they ask your former boss to stop. (I'm talking 4 sentences, max. "This is what happened, this is unprofessional, please stop.")
If the only consequence is that you feel hurt, well, I'd just consider yourself well rid of her and do your best to forget it and move on. Not everyone will like you in this world. Concentrate on making your new supervisor think well of you and your accomplishments; don't agonize about the actions of others beyond your control. Trying to fight her gossip is unlikely to achieve much and may end up making things worse by reflecting badly on you.
posted by Wretch729 at 11:49 AM on October 14, 2015 [7 favorites]
If the only consequence is that you feel hurt, well, I'd just consider yourself well rid of her and do your best to forget it and move on. Not everyone will like you in this world. Concentrate on making your new supervisor think well of you and your accomplishments; don't agonize about the actions of others beyond your control. Trying to fight her gossip is unlikely to achieve much and may end up making things worse by reflecting badly on you.
posted by Wretch729 at 11:49 AM on October 14, 2015 [7 favorites]
Rule #1 of bs internal office politics is always blame the recently departed employee for everything wrong in your department. Don't believe it when you go to a new place, and don't worry about it after you are gone.
This former supervisor is acting in a non professional way, but I do not see any practical steps you can take other than if you are willing to tell the person who told you this your side of the story.
posted by AugustWest at 11:53 AM on October 14, 2015 [7 favorites]
This former supervisor is acting in a non professional way, but I do not see any practical steps you can take other than if you are willing to tell the person who told you this your side of the story.
posted by AugustWest at 11:53 AM on October 14, 2015 [7 favorites]
This is not libel; if anything it'd be slander since you don't mention anything about physical documentation, but if you do actually still owe them money (I'm not clear if they're still insisting on return of the gross or not) then the truth is a defense against slander and libel. Opinions are also protected.
Legally I don't think you have any recourse here. Your non-legal-route options as I see them are to be the bigger person and let her gossipy ways drag her down on their own or to contact her superior and ask that they reign her in. I would do the former.
posted by vegartanipla at 11:54 AM on October 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Legally I don't think you have any recourse here. Your non-legal-route options as I see them are to be the bigger person and let her gossipy ways drag her down on their own or to contact her superior and ask that they reign her in. I would do the former.
posted by vegartanipla at 11:54 AM on October 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Your former boss has told your former co-workers that you owe money, which technically you do. This is absolutely not libel or slander, and it also doesn't seem like it matters that much. Office gossip and talking shit about people is par for the course. Does it matter if your colleagues know this? I'm sure part of the story includes the explanation that the company overpaid you by accident, which is entirely their fault. (I personally wouldn't think poorly of someone who was given money they thought was theirs and then couldn't pay it all back immediately.) It's not like she is spreading lies that you stole from the company or embezzled or something. It's not like she is calling up your current colleagues or places you are interviewing and telling them. I just would let this go and move on, and chalk it up to being glad you're not still working there.
posted by AppleTurnover at 1:06 PM on October 14, 2015
posted by AppleTurnover at 1:06 PM on October 14, 2015
Response by poster: All of your feedback is incredibly helpful. I know the options are limited, if any, and I agree that moving on is the best thing for me to do here.
Thank you so much - this is the best community on the internet. Which sounds silly on reading it, but examples like this highlight why I truly value the community of Metafilter so much.
posted by glaucon at 1:49 PM on October 14, 2015 [6 favorites]
Thank you so much - this is the best community on the internet. Which sounds silly on reading it, but examples like this highlight why I truly value the community of Metafilter so much.
posted by glaucon at 1:49 PM on October 14, 2015 [6 favorites]
With your final payment, request a receipt or letter from your former employer stating that this matter is settled. The ex-supervisor should not continue bringing it up after that.
posted by scruss at 1:52 PM on October 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by scruss at 1:52 PM on October 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
It's not slander, but it may be "false light" which is more about creating an inaccurate impression rather than an outright lie. If you have access to a lawyer, then you could have a quick letter drawn up to outline why this is actionable false light.
posted by 26.2 at 1:54 PM on October 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by 26.2 at 1:54 PM on October 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
I just want to point out that if a lawyer contacts this supervisor about "false light," there is nothing stopping the supervisor from sharing that this happened with employees also, which seems to exacerbate the situation of being talked about. Treat it as a huge deal and it will become one. To me, this doesn't seem like a huge deal, at least as presented in this question. As they say: The best revenge is living well! I agree that regardless of the issue at hand here, you should get written confirmation that you have paid back in full and the matter is closed, when that happens.
posted by AppleTurnover at 2:08 PM on October 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by AppleTurnover at 2:08 PM on October 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
To clarify, any legal document goes to the company, not the supervisor. She is acting on the company's behalf in her role as a manager using information she has an employee of the company. That leaves the company accountable for her actions. The letter isn't what keeps her in check, her employer will do that.
posted by 26.2 at 2:13 PM on October 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by 26.2 at 2:13 PM on October 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
What AppleTurnover said. Any hint of legal action would most likely be spread much more widely than the original statements. Saw an example of this at a former company when an employee left after a conflict with her supervisor. It was acrimonious, that was well known. As a result of the acrimony, none of the other employees paid much attention to the resulting he said/she said from either side. However, the former employee threatened the company with a libel suit, and believe me-- everybody knew about that (we had to be debriefed by company counsel and HR about our rights and responsibilities in such a case and what we could and couldn't say). Whatever she thought her former supervisor was saying, I doubt it was worth a reputation for being litigious.
posted by frumiousb at 4:54 PM on October 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by frumiousb at 4:54 PM on October 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by elmay at 11:37 AM on October 14, 2015 [4 favorites]