How to become a better napper
October 13, 2015 10:35 AM Subscribe
I need to be able to take naps. I suck at taking naps. Are there any real, practical ways to get better at napping?
My work hours are such that it would be REALLY helpful to me if I was good at napping. But I am not. My wife, for instance, can lay down anywhere (couch, car, front porch, wherever), close her eyes for 15 minutes and wake up totally refreshed. It is an amazing gift that she (and many other lucky folks) has.
I, on the other hand, come home to a quiet house at what should be nap time, then proceed to lay there for an hour or more while my mind races and absolutely refuses to rest. Keep in mind, this is when I'm absolutely exhausted and going on 5-6 hours sleep. But I just toss and turn. And then, if I eventually DO fall asleep, I invariably end up sleeping 2-3 hours rather than 15 minutes, and when I wake up, I am the opposite of refreshed. Instead, the rest of the day feels ruined and wrong.
Is this a skill that you can learn? I've grappled in the past with falling asleep at night, but that's a whole different thing. Is there something going on with my brain that it either doesn't want to nap at all, or it wants to think it's nighttime and time to get into the deep sleep, which is just awful in the afternoon? Have you taught yourself how to be a napper, and if so, how did you do it?
I have used the Pzizz app for years, and I do love it, but even it does not deliver consistent results. I end up just laying there, listening to it.
My work hours are such that it would be REALLY helpful to me if I was good at napping. But I am not. My wife, for instance, can lay down anywhere (couch, car, front porch, wherever), close her eyes for 15 minutes and wake up totally refreshed. It is an amazing gift that she (and many other lucky folks) has.
I, on the other hand, come home to a quiet house at what should be nap time, then proceed to lay there for an hour or more while my mind races and absolutely refuses to rest. Keep in mind, this is when I'm absolutely exhausted and going on 5-6 hours sleep. But I just toss and turn. And then, if I eventually DO fall asleep, I invariably end up sleeping 2-3 hours rather than 15 minutes, and when I wake up, I am the opposite of refreshed. Instead, the rest of the day feels ruined and wrong.
Is this a skill that you can learn? I've grappled in the past with falling asleep at night, but that's a whole different thing. Is there something going on with my brain that it either doesn't want to nap at all, or it wants to think it's nighttime and time to get into the deep sleep, which is just awful in the afternoon? Have you taught yourself how to be a napper, and if so, how did you do it?
I have used the Pzizz app for years, and I do love it, but even it does not deliver consistent results. I end up just laying there, listening to it.
Yes. You can practice napping.
I learned how to nap in law school, when I was working 9-5 at a law office and then 6-close in a restaurant kitchen. I would recline the passenger seat of my car and close my eyes for 20 minutes, with a timer on my phone to make sure it was only 20 minutes.
The goal was just, eyes closed, 20 minutes. Not "instant deep sleep for 20 minutes." Not "have no conscious or worrying thoughts for 20 minutes." Just eyes closed.
The worrying thoughts: they are just thoughts. They aren't a puppy that needs to be walked or it will pee all over the rug. You can put them off until after. Your nap is your time, not time for those thoughts. As each thought arises, you tell it: I hear you, and I will deal with you after my 20 minute nap. You don't dwell. You just acknowledge it's there, and let it know its time is not now.
Do not go over 20 minutes. After 20 minutes, you arise and proceed with your day. Otherwise, I find myself getting that sleep hangover where the nap is a net loss of energy.
You may find that you don't feel _rested_ the way you would after a good night's sleep. That's okay: I rarely feel rested in that way after a 20 minute nap. What I feel is collected, in a way that leaves me better in control of myself. That is the function of the short nap, to me.
Practice this at the same time every day for a while; you'll get the hang of it.
posted by gauche at 10:47 AM on October 13, 2015 [20 favorites]
I learned how to nap in law school, when I was working 9-5 at a law office and then 6-close in a restaurant kitchen. I would recline the passenger seat of my car and close my eyes for 20 minutes, with a timer on my phone to make sure it was only 20 minutes.
The goal was just, eyes closed, 20 minutes. Not "instant deep sleep for 20 minutes." Not "have no conscious or worrying thoughts for 20 minutes." Just eyes closed.
The worrying thoughts: they are just thoughts. They aren't a puppy that needs to be walked or it will pee all over the rug. You can put them off until after. Your nap is your time, not time for those thoughts. As each thought arises, you tell it: I hear you, and I will deal with you after my 20 minute nap. You don't dwell. You just acknowledge it's there, and let it know its time is not now.
Do not go over 20 minutes. After 20 minutes, you arise and proceed with your day. Otherwise, I find myself getting that sleep hangover where the nap is a net loss of energy.
You may find that you don't feel _rested_ the way you would after a good night's sleep. That's okay: I rarely feel rested in that way after a 20 minute nap. What I feel is collected, in a way that leaves me better in control of myself. That is the function of the short nap, to me.
Practice this at the same time every day for a while; you'll get the hang of it.
posted by gauche at 10:47 AM on October 13, 2015 [20 favorites]
Distracting the mind is tricky, the right kind of book, a certain kind of television, perhaps a history podcast (I've heard there are hours and hours of professors droning :-) a smilie but quite serious, finding the right level of quiet thing that holds a train of thought but fails to grab one with interest or excitement. Keep the volume low, perhaps a small dim tv if something from that medium works.
(looking forward to other idea too!)
posted by sammyo at 10:48 AM on October 13, 2015
(looking forward to other idea too!)
posted by sammyo at 10:48 AM on October 13, 2015
I am a pro napper. One thing I always think to myself is, "Just lying down and closing my eyes will make me feel refreshed." This is absolutely true, and also takes the pressure off me to get to sleep when it just isn't working out.
I also listen to podcasts that are of moderate interest while I try to sleep. This helps me engage my brain enough that I'm not worrying about anything, but also doesn't keep me interested enough that I stay awake.
posted by chaiminda at 10:49 AM on October 13, 2015 [5 favorites]
I also listen to podcasts that are of moderate interest while I try to sleep. This helps me engage my brain enough that I'm not worrying about anything, but also doesn't keep me interested enough that I stay awake.
posted by chaiminda at 10:49 AM on October 13, 2015 [5 favorites]
If your mind is racing constantly, perhaps the problem isn't that you can't nap but that you have too many "open loops" that you need to close so that you are not worried about things that you need to be doing instead of napping.
This is a much more complex problem than just napping and I am wholly unqualified to answer it.
A regularly scheduled nap with some kind of associated ritual/routine might help. That way you mentally prep yourself. Make sure it's dark, quiet and a good temp. You might not fall asleep, but simply closing your eyes for a few minutes and practicing deep breathing might be just as good, and with time might turn into a nap.
Set a timer and get up after 15 20 minutes no matter what.
posted by Barry B. Palindromer at 10:49 AM on October 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
This is a much more complex problem than just napping and I am wholly unqualified to answer it.
A regularly scheduled nap with some kind of associated ritual/routine might help. That way you mentally prep yourself. Make sure it's dark, quiet and a good temp. You might not fall asleep, but simply closing your eyes for a few minutes and practicing deep breathing might be just as good, and with time might turn into a nap.
Set a timer and get up after 15 20 minutes no matter what.
posted by Barry B. Palindromer at 10:49 AM on October 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
as others are saying, it's not really deep sleep. or at least, for me, not often. on the other hand, it's not just closing your eyes while your brain spins full speed ahead. you can keep thinking about problems, but you also need to be relaxed.
i can see how that might seem impossible. although i find it very easy (sorry) - i'm just trying to explain more clearly what happens (to me) so you can stop aiming for "20 minutes of restful deep sleep".
i think physical safety / comfort helps. as does being somewhere dark.
it's likely one of those things were performance anxiety is your main problem, so try lowering your expectations. decide you're going to lie down for 20m each day, for a week, and just see what happens?
ps if you really can't stop your mind spinning, you might find mindful meditation for 20m more useful. that's fighting the head full on and takes more effort than just falling asleep. but it might fit you better.
posted by andrewcooke at 11:04 AM on October 13, 2015
i can see how that might seem impossible. although i find it very easy (sorry) - i'm just trying to explain more clearly what happens (to me) so you can stop aiming for "20 minutes of restful deep sleep".
i think physical safety / comfort helps. as does being somewhere dark.
it's likely one of those things were performance anxiety is your main problem, so try lowering your expectations. decide you're going to lie down for 20m each day, for a week, and just see what happens?
ps if you really can't stop your mind spinning, you might find mindful meditation for 20m more useful. that's fighting the head full on and takes more effort than just falling asleep. but it might fit you better.
posted by andrewcooke at 11:04 AM on October 13, 2015
My ex used to put on a Law and Order and was asleep before the TONG TONG part of the opening. Is there any tv show/audiobook/music that might lull you to sleep?
Also, you might try Sleep Cycle Power Nap if you have an iDevice. It monitors your movements and then wakes you up after 20 or 45 minutes, but only after you fall asleep. It's worked really well for me.
posted by Huck500 at 11:04 AM on October 13, 2015
Also, you might try Sleep Cycle Power Nap if you have an iDevice. It monitors your movements and then wakes you up after 20 or 45 minutes, but only after you fall asleep. It's worked really well for me.
posted by Huck500 at 11:04 AM on October 13, 2015
I got better at napping once I realized that 20 minutes of my thoughts racing all over the place was still, oddly, refreshing.
Perhaps don't think of it as "sleeping" so much as "resting".
posted by Milau at 11:13 AM on October 13, 2015 [5 favorites]
Perhaps don't think of it as "sleeping" so much as "resting".
posted by Milau at 11:13 AM on October 13, 2015 [5 favorites]
Everybody's right about the 20 minutes thing -- except I also extend it to 25 or 30 when I know I'm really beat. Set a timer. Don't go past 30 minutes, though. That gets you into groggy territory.
Another key: when the timer goes off, you may indeed feel just as exhausted as when you started. Get up out of bed. Within five minutes you'll realize that you are indeed refreshed.
posted by BlahLaLa at 11:16 AM on October 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
Another key: when the timer goes off, you may indeed feel just as exhausted as when you started. Get up out of bed. Within five minutes you'll realize that you are indeed refreshed.
posted by BlahLaLa at 11:16 AM on October 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
Seconding an audiobook, preferably the same one every time. After a few days or weeks, you might be able to train yourself to fall asleep a few minutes into it. I find that it helps to have some outside input so you can't dwell on your thoughts, but the input has to be familiar and/or boring enough that you fall asleep.
posted by amf at 11:16 AM on October 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by amf at 11:16 AM on October 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
To add to the 20 minute point - for me I think I actually achieve for-real sleep half the time. But the other half the time I realize in retrospect that most of the nap was spent in free-associating weird thought/daydream presleep state, which is just as refreshing.
I also have the racing-thoughts problem. One thing I realized is that if I've had any caffeine within 2 hours of the nap, even if I don't feel caffeinated, nap will not happen. Otherwise, I need a dark, quiet, and comfortably-cool room (earplugs in a pinch) and I need to get as comfortable as humanly possible. For me that means minimal clothing and good bedding, obviously YMMV. Then I set my timer and sprawl like an exhausted puppy. Given all these conditions are met, racing-thoughts convert to meandering semi-dream thoughts within a few minutes. If I'm not Incredibly Comfortable, racing thoughts may go on racing and the nap was a fail. Just my 2c.
posted by tempythethird at 11:28 AM on October 13, 2015
I also have the racing-thoughts problem. One thing I realized is that if I've had any caffeine within 2 hours of the nap, even if I don't feel caffeinated, nap will not happen. Otherwise, I need a dark, quiet, and comfortably-cool room (earplugs in a pinch) and I need to get as comfortable as humanly possible. For me that means minimal clothing and good bedding, obviously YMMV. Then I set my timer and sprawl like an exhausted puppy. Given all these conditions are met, racing-thoughts convert to meandering semi-dream thoughts within a few minutes. If I'm not Incredibly Comfortable, racing thoughts may go on racing and the nap was a fail. Just my 2c.
posted by tempythethird at 11:28 AM on October 13, 2015
I can't take naps reliably, either, unless I'm pretty sick. (I'm assuming "get a really bad cold" is a terrible answer.) However, I have had a little bit of limited success if I get the room as dark and as cool as possible, and get very comfortable with a distraction. Like Huck500's ex, Law & Order is my perfect falling asleep TV, too, and I've heard others cite it as well, so it's probably worth trying Law & Order specifically. Early episodes of the original work best for me.
Part of the trick is finding something that's just engaging enough to distract your brain for long enough to fall asleep, but not so engaging that you stay awake for it. It should have narration or dialog in a language you understand so you're not keeping your eyes open for subtitles, and one of the reasons L&O works for me, I think, is that I've seen most of them before. You could always try podcasts or music or an audio book, too, just something that hits exactly the right distracting but not totally engaging point for you. Every now and again, I'm actually able to distract myself with my thoughts, as long as I find a suitable topic to focus on that fits that criteria, but that's never worked for me during the day. Maybe if you get good at napping, you'll be able to do it, though.
(There's a podcast called Sleep with Me that is designed to put you to sleep, so maybe try that.)
posted by ernielundquist at 11:32 AM on October 13, 2015
Part of the trick is finding something that's just engaging enough to distract your brain for long enough to fall asleep, but not so engaging that you stay awake for it. It should have narration or dialog in a language you understand so you're not keeping your eyes open for subtitles, and one of the reasons L&O works for me, I think, is that I've seen most of them before. You could always try podcasts or music or an audio book, too, just something that hits exactly the right distracting but not totally engaging point for you. Every now and again, I'm actually able to distract myself with my thoughts, as long as I find a suitable topic to focus on that fits that criteria, but that's never worked for me during the day. Maybe if you get good at napping, you'll be able to do it, though.
(There's a podcast called Sleep with Me that is designed to put you to sleep, so maybe try that.)
posted by ernielundquist at 11:32 AM on October 13, 2015
You may also have to adjust your chronic sleep deficit to get better at napping. While having a 20 minute nap can leave some people refreshed, if you're regularly only getting 5 hours of sleep, it's not going to magically fix that deficit. Some people do fine with less sleep, but if your body wants to sleep for 2-3 hours when you nap, it seems like you may have a general sleep deficit on your hands. Naps end up being refreshing and easy for me if I'm generally well-rested. If I have a serious deficit going it's hard to nap because my baseline stress level is high and I feel jittery and anxious from lack of sleep and can't really take a short nap effectively.
posted by quince at 11:34 AM on October 13, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by quince at 11:34 AM on October 13, 2015 [2 favorites]
Before you start your nap, take out a sheet of scrap paper and write a very general to do list -- not a true list to guide your actions but essentially a dump of the loose threads that are racing through your mind. Then fold or crumple it up and put it away. I find I'm able to ignore the racing thoughts better if I've already "dealt with" them (concretely acknowledging them and my intention to address them later) before trying to sleep.
posted by telegraph at 12:05 PM on October 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by telegraph at 12:05 PM on October 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
Even if they don't trigger you as they do for me, listening to an ASMR video on YouTube with over-the-ear headphones should help. A lot of people find them very relaxing and conducive for inducing sleep. I use them almost every time I sleep for the night or for a nap.
posted by Tanizaki at 12:18 PM on October 13, 2015
posted by Tanizaki at 12:18 PM on October 13, 2015
I find listening to talky non-comedy podcasts turns the "mind racing" part off - I listen to Time Team or In Our Time on the iplayer app (listen not watch; the phone is face down, the room is dark and my eyes are closed), and I rarely get past the opening credits even when I'm actively trying to listen to it.
If you are sleeping for three hours, that suggests you are actually just not getting enough sleep at night. Is that something you can fix? Why are you only getting 5-6 hours a night? If it's because you have two jobs or something like that, maybe you do actually need a proper three hour catch-up sleep in the afternoon and not just a 20min nap? Naps are for refreshing yourself when you're mentally tired, not for papering over chronic sleep deprivation.
posted by tinkletown at 12:47 PM on October 13, 2015
If you are sleeping for three hours, that suggests you are actually just not getting enough sleep at night. Is that something you can fix? Why are you only getting 5-6 hours a night? If it's because you have two jobs or something like that, maybe you do actually need a proper three hour catch-up sleep in the afternoon and not just a 20min nap? Naps are for refreshing yourself when you're mentally tired, not for papering over chronic sleep deprivation.
posted by tinkletown at 12:47 PM on October 13, 2015
One thing I always think to myself is, "Just lying down and closing my eyes will make me feel refreshed." This is absolutely true, and also takes the pressure off me to get to sleep when it just isn't working out.
Yep, my motto (for naps or for insomnia) is "If not sleep, then rest." It's enough for me to just lay down most of the time.
Something physiologically is different for me for naps, though. Unless I'm really sick, laying down and closing my eyes during the day gives me a weird spinny/vertigo/adrenaline feeling. It will stop if I wait it out most of the time, but it's unpleasant for a few minutes and this never happens to me at night, not even if I'm overcaffeinated.
I do recommend using an alarm, using a sleep mask, and trying the Sleep With Me podcast (on a short timer) OR coming up with a self-guided meditation that is about comfort and sleep and rest.
posted by Lyn Never at 1:32 PM on October 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yep, my motto (for naps or for insomnia) is "If not sleep, then rest." It's enough for me to just lay down most of the time.
Something physiologically is different for me for naps, though. Unless I'm really sick, laying down and closing my eyes during the day gives me a weird spinny/vertigo/adrenaline feeling. It will stop if I wait it out most of the time, but it's unpleasant for a few minutes and this never happens to me at night, not even if I'm overcaffeinated.
I do recommend using an alarm, using a sleep mask, and trying the Sleep With Me podcast (on a short timer) OR coming up with a self-guided meditation that is about comfort and sleep and rest.
posted by Lyn Never at 1:32 PM on October 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
I, too, suck at napping. Especially dedicated, lie-down-in-bed time-to-nap napping. It only works for me if I casually drift off on the couch.
Then I discovered the tv show Frasier. I don't know what it is about that show, but I'm out within 5 minutes, and the credit music always wakes me up gently.
It might not be that specific show for you, but find your own personal Frasier.
posted by mannequito at 2:57 PM on October 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
Then I discovered the tv show Frasier. I don't know what it is about that show, but I'm out within 5 minutes, and the credit music always wakes me up gently.
It might not be that specific show for you, but find your own personal Frasier.
posted by mannequito at 2:57 PM on October 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
I've had to get better at napping recently and hit upon a very reliable technique:
I imagine myself floating just above the ground, looking around at familiar neighbourhood territory. I float along, then slowly up and around, looking at houses, buildings and spaces from new angles. If I get off track, I just quietly resume the floating.
The important thing is that you stick with familiar places because inventing fantasy landscapes engages the "not sleeping/making something" part of the brain. The place has to be nearly visualized.
posted by bonobothegreat at 5:17 PM on October 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
I imagine myself floating just above the ground, looking around at familiar neighbourhood territory. I float along, then slowly up and around, looking at houses, buildings and spaces from new angles. If I get off track, I just quietly resume the floating.
The important thing is that you stick with familiar places because inventing fantasy landscapes engages the "not sleeping/making something" part of the brain. The place has to be nearly visualized.
posted by bonobothegreat at 5:17 PM on October 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
Gah,..edit window closed...that should be "The place has to be easily visualized."
posted by bonobothegreat at 5:24 PM on October 13, 2015
posted by bonobothegreat at 5:24 PM on October 13, 2015
I used to be a great napper, then a few years ago I got the same problem as you. I'd end up having an anxiety attack!
I found out that I could "trick" myself into napping. I lie down anywhere but the bed - usually the couch. I get out a magazine or put on headphones. I tell myself that I'm reclining to enjoy some media. I usually end up passing out with they magazine on my face or the podcast still going.
Recently, however, I decided that I'm an adult, damnit, and I can nap when I want. I just...force myself. I do usually read for a few minutes, then I put on an eyemask, pull up the covers, and tell myself "it's time to nap." Somehow I'm able to do it. I'm also in CBT therapy for my anxiety so it's lower overall right now, which might contribute.
posted by radioamy at 8:59 PM on October 13, 2015
I found out that I could "trick" myself into napping. I lie down anywhere but the bed - usually the couch. I get out a magazine or put on headphones. I tell myself that I'm reclining to enjoy some media. I usually end up passing out with they magazine on my face or the podcast still going.
Recently, however, I decided that I'm an adult, damnit, and I can nap when I want. I just...force myself. I do usually read for a few minutes, then I put on an eyemask, pull up the covers, and tell myself "it's time to nap." Somehow I'm able to do it. I'm also in CBT therapy for my anxiety so it's lower overall right now, which might contribute.
posted by radioamy at 8:59 PM on October 13, 2015
I was going to suggest Pzizz app but then I see that you've tried it. I have no other trick up my sleeve but I'm proof that this is indeed a skill that you can learn. I used to be like you - took me a long time to fall asleep and then I would sleep for hours. I'm now able to fall asleep in minutes and wake up in 20 or so minutes (without having the app playing).
It does take practice and effort. It's funny - I'd be less successful in cat-napping the more tired I am because I would then be too tired to put myself in the state of mind needed.
My suggestion would be - use the Pzizz app again and make mental notes what goes on with you moments before you fall asleep (if it's successful). In my case, there's certain consistency - certain way I position my body, what I think about, certain feelings I try to recreate. And then practice, practice and practice.
posted by 7life at 9:00 AM on October 14, 2015
It does take practice and effort. It's funny - I'd be less successful in cat-napping the more tired I am because I would then be too tired to put myself in the state of mind needed.
My suggestion would be - use the Pzizz app again and make mental notes what goes on with you moments before you fall asleep (if it's successful). In my case, there's certain consistency - certain way I position my body, what I think about, certain feelings I try to recreate. And then practice, practice and practice.
posted by 7life at 9:00 AM on October 14, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
Waking up without falling into a deep sleep (but then getting less than a full sleep cycle) is helpful to me in avoiding that nap hangover you describe.
posted by resurrexit at 10:42 AM on October 13, 2015