Confused about giving up my job that I know (almost) inside out.

September 30, 2015 3:09 AM

Been working at the same not-for-profit for 4 years and I feel that I'm 'in with the bricks', get on with my colleagues and am the 'go to person' in the organisation. However, I've ALWAYS been unsure about the ethics of my boss regarding such things as favouritism, making rules up as she goes along, finance etc. I've now been offered another job as an Executive Assistant for local council - more money, better holidays etc BUT I'm scared. More inside.

Hi and thanks for reading.

As above I've been doing this job for the past 4 years. I'm really respected by all my colleagues (small company only 20 employees), and get on well with my boss.

My main concern throughout this time has been that it's a not-for-profit and some of the things that go on at times I believe could be classed as 'unethical'. I can't note everything here because I don't want it to be recognised but here are a few small things:

1) Paying volunteers through petty cash for expenses (this is so my boss can pay them money if they've been volunteering without putting it through properly and no receipts are available)

2) Paying for staff parking fines through the company

3) Grants being paid to organisations because the boss 'likes' them and approves them without anyone else approving them (and I have to pay them through the bank).

4) Total favouritism of certain members of staff who end up getting pay rises when the rest of the staff don't.

But - apart from this sort of thing and the fact that my boss is unstable, changes her mind all the time, cancels important meetings and goes shopping etc I love the actual work I do and it's a very relaxed atmosphere.

My problem is that I feel that the longer I stay here the more dysfunctional I will become. I'm so comfortable with what I do I'm scared of moving on and worried about the 'grass NOT being greener'.

I feel like I possibly will fall flat on my face in a new environment when I don't know everyone and where I am right at the bottom of the food chain.

The new job is more money, benefits etc but it's a large organisation. At present I am the Office Manager and my boss (and everyone else) relies on me a lot. The new job - I will just be another number.

I know you'll wonder why I applied for another job - but I keep thinking that eventually our organisation will become such a shambles that it will close down - but then again it's been going for 10 years so far.

Sorry if I sound confused but any advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

posted by anonymous to Work & Money (10 answers total)

Change is always scary but listen to your heart...I think you know the answer. Starting over is always scary but staying somewhere just to be comfortable will kill you slowly...good luck at your new job.
posted by irish01 at 3:52 AM on September 30, 2015 [5 favorites]

There is actually nothing that unusual or inarguably wrong with the way your boss runs your organisation; it sounds like a like of small non-profits. It also sounds like you will be happier in an organisation with more structure and rules and local council certainly offers that. I would take the new gig.
posted by DarlingBri at 4:04 AM on September 30, 2015 [1 favorite]

The details almost don't matter. The new job is objectively better than the old job, and going from an established situation where you know what you're doing and have already built up a lot of credibility, to an unknown is scary. It's okay. Give yourself at least six months at the new job to feel scared and incompetent, but reassure yourself during that time that it's expected of all new hires that they may flounder a bit before figuring things out. Also, just because you're in a larger organization doesn't mean you'll be a cog in a huge machine. Most large organizations are split up into smaller groups and there's a good chance you will find collegiality and respect in your new job, same as your current job. You'll be okay.
posted by chickenmagazine at 4:24 AM on September 30, 2015 [2 favorites]

So you're working for a person who is doing some things that waver over into skeevy and/or erratic. It sounds like, in your heart of hearts, you hope that you can do something about it, but to be honest, short of the unethical use of mind control supper powers, I don't see it happening. In fact, it sounds like you expect things to get worse and make you increasingly unhappy.

If you've managed to navigate the shoals of your current situations well enough to become office manager, the odds are strongly against you falling on your face in a new environment. You're pretty much run out of growth opportunity where you are and will likely do well most anywhere that's more sane.

Add to that more money and better benefits? As irish01 said, "I think you know the answer."
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 4:28 AM on September 30, 2015

"The new job - I will just be another number" - this is your fear talking, not an absolute fact. It's something you won't know until you step beyond your current role.

I was in a similar situation earlier this year - I'd been in an EA-ish role for four years, had a very established groove, had spent enough time with the leader of the company to know there were things about the way he operated and thought that made me a little uncomfortable. I was very scared to move on, because it felt like a good job that I knew how to do (this was crucial - I'm terrified of not knowing what I'm meant to be doing at work) and I was afraid nothing would be as good.

My new job turned out to be a lot better - more freedom to make stuff happen, less stressful, great all round. I'm really glad I made the move, and all of my fears and what-ifs...were just that. Things my brain threw at me to freak me out that didn't end up being true.
posted by terretu at 4:55 AM on September 30, 2015 [1 favorite]

Congratulations on your new, better job! Take it! Tell them that you accept.
posted by zennie at 6:05 AM on September 30, 2015

If the bosses behaviour and practices are making you uncomfortable now, then do you think it'll get better in a year or two or however long you stay if you don't move now? I doubt it.

"I feel like I possibly will fall flat on my face in a new environment"
You might, that is true, but if the new place didn't think you were capable of the work then they wouldn't have offered it.

Take the new role, and make your own place in the larger organisation.
You're the Office manager with people relying on you now, you won't forget the skills and work ethic that got you there. It'll go with you to the new place.
posted by MarvinJ at 7:28 AM on September 30, 2015

I think it comes down to whether or not you want to become part of that culture. It's human nature to adapt to environment. Unless you have both the motivation, power and skills to affect change in this organisation, you will eventually begin to do things the way they do, which then changes who you are as a person, not a worker.

It's a hard pill to swallow, but I did a similar thing. I worked at a nonprofit school for 7 years and left because I just couldn't be who they wanted me to be, which was similar to what you described. People seemed to fail their way up while the people working their butts off got more crap to do.

I left my old job in June and am 3+ months into the new job, and I am still daily seeing things about my previous self that I can't believe I let myself do and didn't even see half of it until I was in a healthier environment.

Good luck to you. It seems like you know you should leave.
posted by archimago at 8:50 AM on September 30, 2015 [1 favorite]

Congratulations on the new job. Judging from what you've written you should certainly take it, it sounds promising, and as you say, your current situation will probably get worse as time goes on.

And as simplistic as it sounds, it is better to regret something you have done than something you haven't done - it's easy to just stay in the same situation as it slowly gets worse rather than making the big leap. I'm possibly in a similar situation, and as a friend said to me, "don't be that boiling frog".

To be honest... you might fall flat on your face, but it's unlikely... and although I only know you from a few lines, if that does happen I'd expect you to have the resources to deal with the situation and find another new position.
posted by DancingYear at 2:34 PM on September 30, 2015

It sounds like it would be pretty easy to get your boss fired or removed as CEO (?) given she is so blatantly using funds to pay traffic fines and friends without approval. Bring the evidence to whomever has more power, whether it be a person or board, and apply for her job!

This advice is so bad, it's malicious. There is no scenario where you, someone with no power or influence (being "well liked" doesn't put you into a position of authority), come out ahead. Nothing you've described is patently unethical or criminal. All you have is your distaste for how your leader is leading.

The only solution to your actual problem is to follow a new leader. Congratulations on having that solution all lined up!
posted by danny the boy at 3:30 PM on September 30, 2015 [1 favorite]