Having fun, but lacking sleep. What can I do to fix this?
September 24, 2015 11:30 AM Subscribe
Certain things are leaving me WIRED at night, and I’m having trouble sleeping because of them.
Over the last year I’ve started doing improv classes. It's been great! I've made friends and been invited to a lot of social events. But there's a downside: it's really affecting my sleep.
Recently, some other students and I have begun meeting outside of class to practice on Wednesday nights. This is fun; however, by the time I leave these gatherings, I am so wired, I get little sleep.
Part of the problem is that I have a tendency to review some of the night’s events over and over in my head. I like thinking about the moments when I get a big laugh, or if something goes really well. But improv in general just seems to have this effect on me, regardless of how well the night goes.
The same is also true for social interactions that take place later at night. If I have a good conversation with someone, I tend to replay those moments in my head. I’ve had some fun times this past year, but as a consequence I'm more tired than I ever have been.
I have never been an easy sleeper. I've experimented with several sleep hygiene tricks in the past with varying levels of success. Since improv nights are when my mind is most active, I tried several last night out of desperation, including:
• Listening to podcasts.
• Snacking on something before bed. I know this is not a sleep hygiene trick, but for the past few nights I have been falling asleep and then waking up between 1:30 a.m. or 2:30 a.m. and feeling really hungry.
• Taking 5 mg of melatonin.
• Telling myself that there’s no point in reviewing the night’s events, since it literally accomplishes nothing.
• Mindful breathing. This one is really hard for me. I can’t seem to do it without my mind wandering within a few seconds.
• Journaling, although during times like these I find this isn’t a great strategy, because it just feeds into my obsessive thinking.
• Using the Relax Melodies app for white noise
It’s like my body and my mind were battling, and the latter was totally winning. I was yawning, I felt sleepy, but I couldn’t mentally relax enough to sleep. Eventually, the podcast did help me doze off around 12:30 a.m. I woke up around 3 a.m. and then only fell into a semi-state of sleep maybe 30-45 minutes later.
Given the choice between sleep vs. improv and the social benefits it gives me, I would definitely choose the latter. But I sure would like to see if I could have a bit of both. I am a pretty reserved, shy and introverted 25-year-old. Perhaps I'm having this problem because social interactions are more over-stimulating for me than they are for other people?
I do have anxiety, both social and general. I recently stopped seeing my therapist because I thought I’d reached a point where I didn’t need it/gotten all that I could out of our sessions. Even if I were to talk about this with her, I really think she would just coach me to meditate and breath deeply. Which I will continue to try to do, but in the meantime, I would like suggestions of other techniques or sleep habits to try.
I don’t drink caffeine, so that isn’t part of the issue. Exercise in the evening also leaves me wired. I read this recent thread and have bought myself some orange-tinted glasses and lightbulbs to use during the evening, so we’ll see how that goes.
I think a doctor's visit is in order. What kind of doctor should I see—a psychiatrist? An internist? Family doc? I don’t have a PCP, so I'm not sure where to start.
Finally, assuming finding a good solution takes awhile, is it a terrible thing to get almost little to no sleep once a week, as long as you make up for it? There have been a few days here and there when I'm so tired I go to bed anywhere between 6:30 and 8 p.m. Annoying, yes, but not too burdensome.
Over the last year I’ve started doing improv classes. It's been great! I've made friends and been invited to a lot of social events. But there's a downside: it's really affecting my sleep.
Recently, some other students and I have begun meeting outside of class to practice on Wednesday nights. This is fun; however, by the time I leave these gatherings, I am so wired, I get little sleep.
Part of the problem is that I have a tendency to review some of the night’s events over and over in my head. I like thinking about the moments when I get a big laugh, or if something goes really well. But improv in general just seems to have this effect on me, regardless of how well the night goes.
The same is also true for social interactions that take place later at night. If I have a good conversation with someone, I tend to replay those moments in my head. I’ve had some fun times this past year, but as a consequence I'm more tired than I ever have been.
I have never been an easy sleeper. I've experimented with several sleep hygiene tricks in the past with varying levels of success. Since improv nights are when my mind is most active, I tried several last night out of desperation, including:
• Listening to podcasts.
• Snacking on something before bed. I know this is not a sleep hygiene trick, but for the past few nights I have been falling asleep and then waking up between 1:30 a.m. or 2:30 a.m. and feeling really hungry.
• Taking 5 mg of melatonin.
• Telling myself that there’s no point in reviewing the night’s events, since it literally accomplishes nothing.
• Mindful breathing. This one is really hard for me. I can’t seem to do it without my mind wandering within a few seconds.
• Journaling, although during times like these I find this isn’t a great strategy, because it just feeds into my obsessive thinking.
• Using the Relax Melodies app for white noise
It’s like my body and my mind were battling, and the latter was totally winning. I was yawning, I felt sleepy, but I couldn’t mentally relax enough to sleep. Eventually, the podcast did help me doze off around 12:30 a.m. I woke up around 3 a.m. and then only fell into a semi-state of sleep maybe 30-45 minutes later.
Given the choice between sleep vs. improv and the social benefits it gives me, I would definitely choose the latter. But I sure would like to see if I could have a bit of both. I am a pretty reserved, shy and introverted 25-year-old. Perhaps I'm having this problem because social interactions are more over-stimulating for me than they are for other people?
I do have anxiety, both social and general. I recently stopped seeing my therapist because I thought I’d reached a point where I didn’t need it/gotten all that I could out of our sessions. Even if I were to talk about this with her, I really think she would just coach me to meditate and breath deeply. Which I will continue to try to do, but in the meantime, I would like suggestions of other techniques or sleep habits to try.
I don’t drink caffeine, so that isn’t part of the issue. Exercise in the evening also leaves me wired. I read this recent thread and have bought myself some orange-tinted glasses and lightbulbs to use during the evening, so we’ll see how that goes.
I think a doctor's visit is in order. What kind of doctor should I see—a psychiatrist? An internist? Family doc? I don’t have a PCP, so I'm not sure where to start.
Finally, assuming finding a good solution takes awhile, is it a terrible thing to get almost little to no sleep once a week, as long as you make up for it? There have been a few days here and there when I'm so tired I go to bed anywhere between 6:30 and 8 p.m. Annoying, yes, but not too burdensome.
If it were me, I'd try meditating for 5-10 minutes immediately after the improv rehearsal (like, in the car before driving home). I stole the concept from my yoga classes, where the instructor pointed out that doing shavasana ("corpse pose") at the end of class was an absolutely necessary part of class, because it gave your body and mind time to integrate all the work they had just done, and so skipping it left you all jumbled and buzzed and tired. I've been trying to do the equivalent at the gym after working out (which generally means sitting quietly in the hot tub or steam room for 10 minutes), and I notice that if I skip that I end up feeling both more tired and more anxious afterward.
I am not you, so it may not help, but it's a low-stakes intervention that might be worth a try.
posted by jaguar at 11:48 AM on September 24, 2015 [9 favorites]
I am not you, so it may not help, but it's a low-stakes intervention that might be worth a try.
posted by jaguar at 11:48 AM on September 24, 2015 [9 favorites]
Perhaps I'm having this problem because social interactions are more over-stimulating for me than they are for other people?
I'm the same-- used to be this way, it went away in my mid-20s. I also recently started treating my anxiety with a low-dose antidepressant (Zoloft), and it's done wonders for this kind of "Remember what happened?? ALL OF IT?!!" hyper after-social processing stuff.
However, that's not the only reason it's gone away. I think maybe exercising (in the morning or early afternoon, for me) helped, because I am a lot more exhausted at night. Also just consciously teaching myself to let go. It was fun! Good things happened, bad things happened, but I don't need to think about them for five hours, I tell myself my obsession with it is not really helping anyone. I write down the good things I want to remember and remind myself that dwelling on the bad things is, scientifically, what separates a happy person from a sad person.
posted by easter queen at 11:51 AM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'm the same-- used to be this way, it went away in my mid-20s. I also recently started treating my anxiety with a low-dose antidepressant (Zoloft), and it's done wonders for this kind of "Remember what happened?? ALL OF IT?!!" hyper after-social processing stuff.
However, that's not the only reason it's gone away. I think maybe exercising (in the morning or early afternoon, for me) helped, because I am a lot more exhausted at night. Also just consciously teaching myself to let go. It was fun! Good things happened, bad things happened, but I don't need to think about them for five hours, I tell myself my obsession with it is not really helping anyone. I write down the good things I want to remember and remind myself that dwelling on the bad things is, scientifically, what separates a happy person from a sad person.
posted by easter queen at 11:51 AM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
Personally, TV helps me with that sort of thing.
BUT—I also had a similar problem into my 20s (except it was after parties). My solution was to make sure I had a quiet walk home, preferably with a friend, to ramp down my energy. Is walking or biking home after improv an option for you? Or going out for a quiet tea?
posted by the_blizz at 11:55 AM on September 24, 2015
BUT—I also had a similar problem into my 20s (except it was after parties). My solution was to make sure I had a quiet walk home, preferably with a friend, to ramp down my energy. Is walking or biking home after improv an option for you? Or going out for a quiet tea?
posted by the_blizz at 11:55 AM on September 24, 2015
The trick that helps focus my mind away from daily reruns is to visualize a long mountain bike ride (maybe a walk for you, or a ski, or some other activity that is absorbing and takes time) once I'm settled into bed, after the usual nighttime routines of pulling down the shades and brushing my teeth. I think:
Starting at the parking lot, I get out of my car, take my bike off the rack, make sure the brake is attached, pump up the wheels, grease the chain. I'm chatting with my friends that I ride with. I change shoes, and tuck the old ones in the trunk. Make sure my pack has the usual stuff I need, maybe eat half a power bar. Once we're all ready, we queue up by the trailhead, then we ride down the fire road by the power lines. The first section always has a puddle in it, so track around that, then have to shift for the hill right after it. Pass the place where the trail out intersects the fire road. Come down the hill, watch for the loose stuff on the left. Turn left just before the overpass, remember to shift down before we huck over that first rock, then the right turn into the woods. The first section is twisty turny, then there's that log ....
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
posted by Dashy at 12:21 PM on September 24, 2015
Starting at the parking lot, I get out of my car, take my bike off the rack, make sure the brake is attached, pump up the wheels, grease the chain. I'm chatting with my friends that I ride with. I change shoes, and tuck the old ones in the trunk. Make sure my pack has the usual stuff I need, maybe eat half a power bar. Once we're all ready, we queue up by the trailhead, then we ride down the fire road by the power lines. The first section always has a puddle in it, so track around that, then have to shift for the hill right after it. Pass the place where the trail out intersects the fire road. Come down the hill, watch for the loose stuff on the left. Turn left just before the overpass, remember to shift down before we huck over that first rock, then the right turn into the woods. The first section is twisty turny, then there's that log ....
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
posted by Dashy at 12:21 PM on September 24, 2015
I have similar difficulties sleeping after a stimulating evening. What I generally do is (take melatonin and) force myself to do fairly dull, rhythmic mental activities, lying in bed in the dark. For example, I'll name as many countries as I can in alphabetical order, or list names for each letter of the alphabet, or work out square numbers as high as I can go, or do hailstone numbers or something like that. It's enough mental stimulation to distract me from thinking about the evening, but insignificant enough that my attention eventually wavers and I fall asleep.
I have also had some success with progressive muscle relaxation.
posted by bibliotropic at 12:46 PM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
I have also had some success with progressive muscle relaxation.
posted by bibliotropic at 12:46 PM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
For me the thing that helps after improv classes (or workshops, informal get togethers, shows, whatever) is to take 30 minutes to an hour to listen to music. Fortunately, I usually have at least a 25 minute drive home so I have to also pay attention to the road.
Find something repetitive and calming to do.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 12:57 PM on September 24, 2015
Find something repetitive and calming to do.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 12:57 PM on September 24, 2015
You are in the exact frame of mind that I was in when I posted this Askme - wired late at night and having to wind down fast. The playlist I assembled from that AskMe worked so well that I named it "Auditory Ambien".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:17 PM on September 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:17 PM on September 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
Fellow anxiety-er and introvert here. I do the same thing, along with practicing conversations the night before they happen for an appointment or whatevs. I feel ya.
One thing that honestly can help is a mantra. It's similar to counting sheep. Something you can repeat to yourself to calm yourself down or a short story or song you can repeat over and over. Then you just focus on that and then you can start to slowly relax your muscles. I like to start with my feet and move up. So I relax my feet and my legs... on up. At bare minimum, even if I don't fall asleep right away, I get more relaxed and not as annoyed at myself.
Also, can you try just letting yourself rethink it for a set amount of time? Maybe in the shower or while you cook a snack or something? Maybe getting it out of your system would help.
I've also been known to take something like a benadryl to make me slightly drowsy (and I have allergies anyway.)
posted by Crystalinne at 1:54 PM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
One thing that honestly can help is a mantra. It's similar to counting sheep. Something you can repeat to yourself to calm yourself down or a short story or song you can repeat over and over. Then you just focus on that and then you can start to slowly relax your muscles. I like to start with my feet and move up. So I relax my feet and my legs... on up. At bare minimum, even if I don't fall asleep right away, I get more relaxed and not as annoyed at myself.
Also, can you try just letting yourself rethink it for a set amount of time? Maybe in the shower or while you cook a snack or something? Maybe getting it out of your system would help.
I've also been known to take something like a benadryl to make me slightly drowsy (and I have allergies anyway.)
posted by Crystalinne at 1:54 PM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
Telling myself that there’s no point in reviewing the night’s events, since it literally accomplishes nothing.
Is this completely true? It sounds like you are obsessing, but maybe you're also learning? Or rewarding yourself for successful interactions, which might be extra rewarding given that social exchanges have been difficult in the past.
I was going to suggest capturing the moments you find yourself wanting to relive, as a way of processing them and then putting them away - I've found that the effort of trying to pin down squiggly night-time thoughts like that (whether negative or positive) can have a sopoforic effect (when I do it longhand with paper and a pen) - but journalling just makes it worse, eh? Have you tried writing these experiences out as structured stories, with logical beginnings, middles, and ends, vs. free writing or letting the thoughts wash over you?
posted by cotton dress sock at 3:30 PM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
Is this completely true? It sounds like you are obsessing, but maybe you're also learning? Or rewarding yourself for successful interactions, which might be extra rewarding given that social exchanges have been difficult in the past.
I was going to suggest capturing the moments you find yourself wanting to relive, as a way of processing them and then putting them away - I've found that the effort of trying to pin down squiggly night-time thoughts like that (whether negative or positive) can have a sopoforic effect (when I do it longhand with paper and a pen) - but journalling just makes it worse, eh? Have you tried writing these experiences out as structured stories, with logical beginnings, middles, and ends, vs. free writing or letting the thoughts wash over you?
posted by cotton dress sock at 3:30 PM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: but journalling just makes it worse, eh? Have you tried writing these experiences out as structured stories, with logical beginnings, middles, and ends, vs. free writing or letting the thoughts wash over you?
Are you saying that writing a structured story would be more useful than free writing? Because writing an end would give me closure?
posted by dean_deen at 4:50 PM on September 24, 2015
Are you saying that writing a structured story would be more useful than free writing? Because writing an end would give me closure?
posted by dean_deen at 4:50 PM on September 24, 2015
Maybe? There's research on expressive writing re mental health that suggests that organizing thoughts into coherent narratives might have added value in terms of positive health outcomes, possibly because you're then processing them at a higher level, and integrating that experience in some way. (I think Pennebaker is the main person in this area, if you're interested in looking into it a bit more. Most of that research relates to negative emotions, afaik, but I was thinking it might help if you're on a loop reliving positive experiences, too. Might be worth a try.)
(For myself, on a practical level, writing something vaguely structured, and trying to take some kind of perspective on the experience I mean to describe, also just involves more effort than trying to transcribe passing thoughts. So on that level, it's just more tiring. Like after I'm done with it, I just want to put it away and do something else. YMMV!)
posted by cotton dress sock at 8:08 PM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
(For myself, on a practical level, writing something vaguely structured, and trying to take some kind of perspective on the experience I mean to describe, also just involves more effort than trying to transcribe passing thoughts. So on that level, it's just more tiring. Like after I'm done with it, I just want to put it away and do something else. YMMV!)
posted by cotton dress sock at 8:08 PM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
I agree with cotton dress sock: writing something down gets it out of my head. It's as if I can store it away for later, and know that it's there if I ever want to revisit it, so then I don't have to keep reliving it in my head. That's why I carry a pocket diary with me and compulsively write down any appointments/events as soon as they come up, because I don't want to clog up my working memory with banal stuff like that. I can just write it down and not worry about it until closer to the date.
If journaling seems to make your insomnia worse, then I would recommend structured writing. Sometimes if I just rant in my journal, I still feel scattered and overstimulated. The same thing happens after therapy too, sometimes - I'll feel as if I didn't visit everything I wanted to visit and I'm left ruminating for the rest of the day.
A few times I've written out little scenes, or even essays about something that's on my mind, and after I finish, I feel much clearer and can sleep with ease.
Maybe start a blog that you share with friends or the wider public. That will force you to 'get to the point' with your writing, and to make things flow in a logical, linear fashion. I'm guessing that because improv sparks so many possibilities in your mind, it's hard to switch off afterwards, because your mind is still racing with things you could have said/done and the infinite number of ways a scene could have played out. Maybe choose your favourite moment of the night and write a scene or short story or blog post from beginning to end. It'll force your brain into 'execution function' mode where things have to be wrapped up in a nice, neat, little package, rather than 'improv' mode where it's firing in all directions and nothing's ever really finished or polished.
You can also buy journals with different writing prompts in them for each day - something like "write about how someone defied your expectations of them" or "what would you have been doing on this day ten years ago?". It's helpful to have something prompt you towards something you never would have thought of, otherwise your brain can just get stuck thinking about the same things over and over, which is not conducive to sleep!
posted by sweetshine at 1:33 AM on September 25, 2015
If journaling seems to make your insomnia worse, then I would recommend structured writing. Sometimes if I just rant in my journal, I still feel scattered and overstimulated. The same thing happens after therapy too, sometimes - I'll feel as if I didn't visit everything I wanted to visit and I'm left ruminating for the rest of the day.
A few times I've written out little scenes, or even essays about something that's on my mind, and after I finish, I feel much clearer and can sleep with ease.
Maybe start a blog that you share with friends or the wider public. That will force you to 'get to the point' with your writing, and to make things flow in a logical, linear fashion. I'm guessing that because improv sparks so many possibilities in your mind, it's hard to switch off afterwards, because your mind is still racing with things you could have said/done and the infinite number of ways a scene could have played out. Maybe choose your favourite moment of the night and write a scene or short story or blog post from beginning to end. It'll force your brain into 'execution function' mode where things have to be wrapped up in a nice, neat, little package, rather than 'improv' mode where it's firing in all directions and nothing's ever really finished or polished.
You can also buy journals with different writing prompts in them for each day - something like "write about how someone defied your expectations of them" or "what would you have been doing on this day ten years ago?". It's helpful to have something prompt you towards something you never would have thought of, otherwise your brain can just get stuck thinking about the same things over and over, which is not conducive to sleep!
posted by sweetshine at 1:33 AM on September 25, 2015
Mindful breathing. This one is really hard for me. I can’t seem to do it without my mind wandering within a few seconds.
I have difficulty with mindful breathing and standard meditation too, for the same reason: my mind starts wandering, and it feels effortful and stressful (and therefore, counterproductive and *not* meditative) to "let the thoughts go" as you're supposed to in meditation or mindfulness practice. Instead, I found that Guided Meditations worked much better for me. Instead of focusing on emptying my mind - and inevitably failing to do so - focusing on someone else's voice and following his/her instruction is much easier. It's a different dimension of meditation.
When I am wound up at night, I find that listening to a Guided Meditation relaxes me and allows me to let go of the "wound-up" feeling. There are hundreds of Guided Meditations on YouTube, so you'll have to wander through and find one with a voice & background sounds that work for you. One of my favorites for relaxing into sleep is this one: Guided Sleep Meditation Talkdown
I set up YouTube on my phone on the bedside table, lay down and get comfortable, plug in the comfortable earbuds, close my eyes, and listen, until I drift off. Even if I don't fall asleep during the recording, doing the Guided Meditation usually succeeds in the "unwinding" function, and sleep soon follows shortly afterwards.
posted by Ardea alba at 7:39 AM on September 25, 2015
I have difficulty with mindful breathing and standard meditation too, for the same reason: my mind starts wandering, and it feels effortful and stressful (and therefore, counterproductive and *not* meditative) to "let the thoughts go" as you're supposed to in meditation or mindfulness practice. Instead, I found that Guided Meditations worked much better for me. Instead of focusing on emptying my mind - and inevitably failing to do so - focusing on someone else's voice and following his/her instruction is much easier. It's a different dimension of meditation.
When I am wound up at night, I find that listening to a Guided Meditation relaxes me and allows me to let go of the "wound-up" feeling. There are hundreds of Guided Meditations on YouTube, so you'll have to wander through and find one with a voice & background sounds that work for you. One of my favorites for relaxing into sleep is this one: Guided Sleep Meditation Talkdown
I set up YouTube on my phone on the bedside table, lay down and get comfortable, plug in the comfortable earbuds, close my eyes, and listen, until I drift off. Even if I don't fall asleep during the recording, doing the Guided Meditation usually succeeds in the "unwinding" function, and sleep soon follows shortly afterwards.
posted by Ardea alba at 7:39 AM on September 25, 2015
Ugh, this - this is is part of the reason many performers end up drinking (which I am not recommending.) I've tried counting backwards etc. but it's easy enough that my mind can still race.
Recently I accidentally discovered a trick of going through a little repetitive rhyme exercise - it's SUPER silly but it seems to grab the wired / creative part of my brain enough to slow it down.
It's this familiar little ditty:
Hushabye baby don't say a word, daddy's gonna buy you a mocking bird.
And if that mockingbird don't sing, daddy's going to buy you a [3 syllable thing that rhymes with sing].
And if that [3 syllable thing] don't [verb], Daddy's gonna buy you [another 3 syllable thing that rhymes with the verb]
and on....
Like I said, it's silly, but it occupies my brain, and eventually I get tired and start not being able to think of words and fall asleep. It might be just the thing if your brain is primed for improv.
posted by blu_stocking at 9:14 PM on September 25, 2015
Recently I accidentally discovered a trick of going through a little repetitive rhyme exercise - it's SUPER silly but it seems to grab the wired / creative part of my brain enough to slow it down.
It's this familiar little ditty:
Hushabye baby don't say a word, daddy's gonna buy you a mocking bird.
And if that mockingbird don't sing, daddy's going to buy you a [3 syllable thing that rhymes with sing].
And if that [3 syllable thing] don't [verb], Daddy's gonna buy you [another 3 syllable thing that rhymes with the verb]
and on....
Like I said, it's silly, but it occupies my brain, and eventually I get tired and start not being able to think of words and fall asleep. It might be just the thing if your brain is primed for improv.
posted by blu_stocking at 9:14 PM on September 25, 2015
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posted by St. Peepsburg at 11:42 AM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]