To call in or not to call in sick
September 8, 2015 11:47 PM Subscribe
I am not good at knowing when to call in sick. Even if I do it, I often feel guilty. Help a young person new to the working world out, please?
I only started my first full-time job this year. Before that, I rarely ever skipped school, only if my parents made me stay at home, or university only if I felt like I could miss a class. (I paused my internship when my cat died, but I wasn't getting paid and work was very slow anyway.)
I started working in January and called in sick once when I had a fever. I also left work early twice when I felt woozy. Yesterday, I felt pretty sick and regretted going to work. I was able to complete my tasks, but probably made my cold worse. Today, I decided to stay at home, which turned out to be the right decision as I feel pretty weak, my throat kind of hurts and my nose is stuffy, which causes a slight headache. (I probably could have gone to work and toughed it out, though.) It seems like I caught someone else's cold, as both of my bosses are coughing.
The thing is, I live far away from work have to decide at 6 when I get up whether I feel okay or not, because if I don't, I'll miss my train and be late for work. Sometimes I don't notice how sick I feel until I make it to the train and sit down. I'm not sure why that is, I guess I'm so busy getting ready. I actually started getting ready this morning as well, although I had somewhat halfway decided to stay home today because we have something very important happening tomorrow, and I need to be there, so I wanted to recover today. Taking time off today was not ideal either, as I have an appointment at work, but I didn't think I could follow complex instructions about a new telephone system today anyway. Unfortunately, that means my workplace will get its new telephone system later, but my boss waited months to authorize the installation, so a few days extra that are my fault shouldn't matter that much... I hope.
What I'm trying to say is, how do you people decide when to call in sick? How sick is sick enough? I have unlimited sick leave that is not taken out of my vacation days (although next week, I'm having a wisdom tooth pulled in Germany, so I had to take vacation days for that and would rather not reschedule everything, book new flights etc., so I guess I also wanted to stay at home today to recover enough for that, which is selfish), so I guess I feel like I am cheating my employer (the country, hence the tax payers) out of work and money when I call in sick.
I also feel guilty because once I decided to call in sick, I immediately felt a bit better, like I didn't have to overwork myself today and could cure my cold in peace. I've experienced this before when I quit grad school because of depression and immediately felt relieved when I decided that, so then felt confused because if I wasn't that depressed anymore, why would I quit?
When I call in sick, do I tell my boss I can still do the last part of that translation I was supposed to get today? People in my office don't usually work from home - when you're out sick, you're out sick. Does that make it seem like I'm not really sick, but just didn't want to commute in today?
For what it's worth, one boss almost never stays at home, the other quite a lot. My colleagues never got in trouble for calling in sick (I am still the one with the least sick days in the department), and no matter how great my performance, there is no chance for a promotion in the future. (Maybe for a slight raise.)
I'm probably way overthinking this, but help me, please?
I only started my first full-time job this year. Before that, I rarely ever skipped school, only if my parents made me stay at home, or university only if I felt like I could miss a class. (I paused my internship when my cat died, but I wasn't getting paid and work was very slow anyway.)
I started working in January and called in sick once when I had a fever. I also left work early twice when I felt woozy. Yesterday, I felt pretty sick and regretted going to work. I was able to complete my tasks, but probably made my cold worse. Today, I decided to stay at home, which turned out to be the right decision as I feel pretty weak, my throat kind of hurts and my nose is stuffy, which causes a slight headache. (I probably could have gone to work and toughed it out, though.) It seems like I caught someone else's cold, as both of my bosses are coughing.
The thing is, I live far away from work have to decide at 6 when I get up whether I feel okay or not, because if I don't, I'll miss my train and be late for work. Sometimes I don't notice how sick I feel until I make it to the train and sit down. I'm not sure why that is, I guess I'm so busy getting ready. I actually started getting ready this morning as well, although I had somewhat halfway decided to stay home today because we have something very important happening tomorrow, and I need to be there, so I wanted to recover today. Taking time off today was not ideal either, as I have an appointment at work, but I didn't think I could follow complex instructions about a new telephone system today anyway. Unfortunately, that means my workplace will get its new telephone system later, but my boss waited months to authorize the installation, so a few days extra that are my fault shouldn't matter that much... I hope.
What I'm trying to say is, how do you people decide when to call in sick? How sick is sick enough? I have unlimited sick leave that is not taken out of my vacation days (although next week, I'm having a wisdom tooth pulled in Germany, so I had to take vacation days for that and would rather not reschedule everything, book new flights etc., so I guess I also wanted to stay at home today to recover enough for that, which is selfish), so I guess I feel like I am cheating my employer (the country, hence the tax payers) out of work and money when I call in sick.
I also feel guilty because once I decided to call in sick, I immediately felt a bit better, like I didn't have to overwork myself today and could cure my cold in peace. I've experienced this before when I quit grad school because of depression and immediately felt relieved when I decided that, so then felt confused because if I wasn't that depressed anymore, why would I quit?
When I call in sick, do I tell my boss I can still do the last part of that translation I was supposed to get today? People in my office don't usually work from home - when you're out sick, you're out sick. Does that make it seem like I'm not really sick, but just didn't want to commute in today?
For what it's worth, one boss almost never stays at home, the other quite a lot. My colleagues never got in trouble for calling in sick (I am still the one with the least sick days in the department), and no matter how great my performance, there is no chance for a promotion in the future. (Maybe for a slight raise.)
I'm probably way overthinking this, but help me, please?
It's selfish to go in when you have a cold if you have paid sick days. No one wants your germs or to hear you sniffling and sneezing all day. And the longer you come in sick the longer it will last. Taking sick days when you're sick is literally what they want you to do. And need you to do.
You can do whatever you want except bring your germs to the office. I think you know this. Even if you weren't contagious, they give you sick days because they don't want sick people to show up.
Also maybe college was stressing you out and that's why you felt better when you quit.
posted by bleep at 11:54 PM on September 8, 2015 [11 favorites]
You can do whatever you want except bring your germs to the office. I think you know this. Even if you weren't contagious, they give you sick days because they don't want sick people to show up.
Also maybe college was stressing you out and that's why you felt better when you quit.
posted by bleep at 11:54 PM on September 8, 2015 [11 favorites]
Yeah, you're overthinking this. If you have a fever or are throwing up, don't go to work.
I think it's okay to skip if you felt absolutely terrible the day before. I do base it on how needed I am that day. If I can stand for an hour and do not have a stomach issue, I go to work if I'm pretty needed. Honestly if I were able to do this essential thing, I'd go in and do it and leave. It depends on your relationship with your boss if you volunteer.
You can totally be in Facebook, run to the store for supplies etc. It'd be weird for people to ask what you were doing. I'd give them an annoyed look and say being sick.
posted by Kalmya at 11:58 PM on September 8, 2015
I think it's okay to skip if you felt absolutely terrible the day before. I do base it on how needed I am that day. If I can stand for an hour and do not have a stomach issue, I go to work if I'm pretty needed. Honestly if I were able to do this essential thing, I'd go in and do it and leave. It depends on your relationship with your boss if you volunteer.
You can totally be in Facebook, run to the store for supplies etc. It'd be weird for people to ask what you were doing. I'd give them an annoyed look and say being sick.
posted by Kalmya at 11:58 PM on September 8, 2015
Best answer: I really struggle with this. My family weren't super into believing what I said about how I felt, so they often made me go to school even when I was sick. This has led to a ton of guilt whenever I think I might need a sick day, plus I don't trust my own judgement at all.
Something that has helped is working at a place that explicitly states in the employee handbook that they'd rather you stayed home to get well when you're sick than come into work. Both because it's gonna make you better sooner, and because you're less likely to pass on your illness to your coworkers (assuming it's something contagious like a cold). They back up this written policy with real behavioural and cultural meaning - it's not just what they say to sound nice, they mean it. There's no real limit on paid sick days either, which helps. Even so, I've been here four years and this is the first year I've felt comfortable taking time off for a cold.
In terms of what you do, also hard. Whatever you feel capable of, I think. Whatever you'd do if you were sick during school or university - resting, watching TV or playing games. I think Facebook is fine. A lot of people at my office check work email but don't so much serious work. I'd probably avoid stuff that involves leaving the house and expending a decent amount of energy (e.g. shopping), because it's harder to justify doing that and yet not being able to work.
But it depends on what's wrong with you. I found it hard last year when I was off for a couple of weeks when my mental health situation really deteriorated, because all of the stuff that helps when you're depressed, like long walks and going and doing stuff in the world is stuff that you're not meant to do when you're traditionally "sick", and all the things you do when you're sick, like hanging out on the couch or in bed, don't really help with depression.
It sounds like you're really anxious about this, and that anxiety is making you super conscientious - I can almost guarantee that unless you have a reputation as a slacker for other reasons, if no one else gets into trouble for being legitimately sick, they're not going to think badly of you either.
posted by terretu at 12:08 AM on September 9, 2015 [12 favorites]
Something that has helped is working at a place that explicitly states in the employee handbook that they'd rather you stayed home to get well when you're sick than come into work. Both because it's gonna make you better sooner, and because you're less likely to pass on your illness to your coworkers (assuming it's something contagious like a cold). They back up this written policy with real behavioural and cultural meaning - it's not just what they say to sound nice, they mean it. There's no real limit on paid sick days either, which helps. Even so, I've been here four years and this is the first year I've felt comfortable taking time off for a cold.
In terms of what you do, also hard. Whatever you feel capable of, I think. Whatever you'd do if you were sick during school or university - resting, watching TV or playing games. I think Facebook is fine. A lot of people at my office check work email but don't so much serious work. I'd probably avoid stuff that involves leaving the house and expending a decent amount of energy (e.g. shopping), because it's harder to justify doing that and yet not being able to work.
But it depends on what's wrong with you. I found it hard last year when I was off for a couple of weeks when my mental health situation really deteriorated, because all of the stuff that helps when you're depressed, like long walks and going and doing stuff in the world is stuff that you're not meant to do when you're traditionally "sick", and all the things you do when you're sick, like hanging out on the couch or in bed, don't really help with depression.
It sounds like you're really anxious about this, and that anxiety is making you super conscientious - I can almost guarantee that unless you have a reputation as a slacker for other reasons, if no one else gets into trouble for being legitimately sick, they're not going to think badly of you either.
posted by terretu at 12:08 AM on September 9, 2015 [12 favorites]
It helped me to accept that I could simultaneously be A) a basically honest person who is not faking it and B) more likely to call in sick at a job I hated than a job I really liked.
I'm not certain that's a common mental block, but it really did make a difference for me. Right now I have a job I love that is nearly always a pleasure, and I call in sick maybe once a year. (Being able to work from home when necessary has something-but-not-everything to do with that, of course.)
Before this I had a job I was awful at that was a constant, unceasing struggle, and, well, maybe I was sicker—not sleeping can do that—and maybe I needed to be closer to 100% to face it. Or maybe I just let my subconscious keep me away from it more often. But the subjective, first-person experience of whatever-it-was was identical to being much sicker and less able to work than I usually get now, and I think that's really the thing a "sick day" is measuring.
posted by Polycarp at 1:35 AM on September 9, 2015
I'm not certain that's a common mental block, but it really did make a difference for me. Right now I have a job I love that is nearly always a pleasure, and I call in sick maybe once a year. (Being able to work from home when necessary has something-but-not-everything to do with that, of course.)
Before this I had a job I was awful at that was a constant, unceasing struggle, and, well, maybe I was sicker—not sleeping can do that—and maybe I needed to be closer to 100% to face it. Or maybe I just let my subconscious keep me away from it more often. But the subjective, first-person experience of whatever-it-was was identical to being much sicker and less able to work than I usually get now, and I think that's really the thing a "sick day" is measuring.
posted by Polycarp at 1:35 AM on September 9, 2015
Response by poster: Thank you all!
The thing is, I don't have a fever, nor do I vomit or even cough much. I just feel sick, as in woozy, not 100% stable on my feet etc.
I often worry that people don't believe me I'm sick because I tend to power through and appear fine until I really can't work anymore, so I'm pretty sure apart from the big scarf wrapped around my neck yesterday, I appeared normal to everyone. I also have what someone on Ask a Manager called "receptionist syndrome" in that I sound perky even when I don't feel perky and then feel like I have to "fake" sounding sick on the phone. At least when people see me in person, they can tell I am sick because my very pale skin becomes even ghastlier.
posted by LoonyLovegood at 2:14 AM on September 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
The thing is, I don't have a fever, nor do I vomit or even cough much. I just feel sick, as in woozy, not 100% stable on my feet etc.
I often worry that people don't believe me I'm sick because I tend to power through and appear fine until I really can't work anymore, so I'm pretty sure apart from the big scarf wrapped around my neck yesterday, I appeared normal to everyone. I also have what someone on Ask a Manager called "receptionist syndrome" in that I sound perky even when I don't feel perky and then feel like I have to "fake" sounding sick on the phone. At least when people see me in person, they can tell I am sick because my very pale skin becomes even ghastlier.
posted by LoonyLovegood at 2:14 AM on September 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
If I'm in that borderline sick feeling ickyness sometimes I'll compromise on doing a half-day. If I'm too oogy to get on the train early in the morning I'll let my boss know that I'm sick and I'll be in later in the morning. Or if I power through the morning commute and realize when I get to work that I'm too unwell to punch in a whole day I'll get a bunch of work done in the morning and leave early in the afternoon. Psychologically it makes me feel less guilty than taking a whole day off work. But I also take whole days when I need to. Not only are sick days there for you to use so you don't get your whole office sick, they are part of your compensation package and it's your right to take them as needed. You don't have to be feverish or actively vomiting to be too sick to work well, and it's totally ok to take your sick days. Also, do you have to call in? In my office we email in for sick days/lateness. It's so much less stressful than calling, and everyone checks their email from home more frequently than voicemail.
Hopefully no one will ask what you did when you were out, because that's kind of weird, but if they do, just say "recuperated" or "ugh, I was so sick." When I was younger I thought I had to give a more detailed accounting of exactly how I was sick to prove I really needed the day, now I just leave it at "I'm sick, I can't come in" or some variation on that. No one needs the gory details.
posted by banjo_and_the_pork at 2:47 AM on September 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
Hopefully no one will ask what you did when you were out, because that's kind of weird, but if they do, just say "recuperated" or "ugh, I was so sick." When I was younger I thought I had to give a more detailed accounting of exactly how I was sick to prove I really needed the day, now I just leave it at "I'm sick, I can't come in" or some variation on that. No one needs the gory details.
posted by banjo_and_the_pork at 2:47 AM on September 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
If you're in the U.S., read this FPP and thread about how messed up our work culture is in regards to taking time off. Stay home and don't look back, nor feel bad about anything.
posted by XMLicious at 3:29 AM on September 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by XMLicious at 3:29 AM on September 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
I'm from a family that just did *not* consider sickness a reason to not work. And I worked for them, my father, my brothers. So there was no getting around it -- you're going to go to work. Period. I recall like yesterday my older brother coming into my bedroom and *insisting* that I get up and at it, and the bastard would not leave up until I got up and pulled on some clothes and went in. I was sick as hell. Didn't matter. The bastard was literally pulling me out of bed. Work was where it was at, all of your self-esteem was tied into work, how hard you worked, what all you got done and how fast you got it done, and shamefaced about the things which you didn't get done, even though we'd each of us gotten more done than the next three guys.
It took me years to relax. A job working for the state of Texas, which was a pretty casual gig, that helped a *lot*. It was common as rain to take a "mental health day" pretty much any time you wanted to do so, and nobody questioned it one bit. (I mean, you don't bail out in the midst of some really big crisis unless you *really are very sick* but other than that, up to you.)
First time I took a mental health day (AKA a fuck-around day) I felt like I was "No Damn Good" etc and etc, and I pretty much figured that the state agency I worked for had hired Stasi who were watching my every move; I went to Texas French Bread, continually thinking that someone was seeing me, and writing things done, frowning, etc. Turns out nobody was trailing me, no one gave a damn, took me maybe two years in that job to relax into what it is to work in a govt gig, and to enjoy it. And I sure did enjoy it.
Maybe you got wound up tight like I did, and just can't see that lots of jobs are really casual. Relax. It'll take some time but relax into it. If you're a citizen when you are there IE if you are a productive member of the team, no one is going to question your motives or judgment of what you need at all.
I came to find out that it's lots of fun to go to Texas French Bread and read the paper, and some good fresh bread, hot black coffee.
Relax into it, as you can, when you can.
Good luck and have fun!
posted by dancestoblue at 3:45 AM on September 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
It took me years to relax. A job working for the state of Texas, which was a pretty casual gig, that helped a *lot*. It was common as rain to take a "mental health day" pretty much any time you wanted to do so, and nobody questioned it one bit. (I mean, you don't bail out in the midst of some really big crisis unless you *really are very sick* but other than that, up to you.)
First time I took a mental health day (AKA a fuck-around day) I felt like I was "No Damn Good" etc and etc, and I pretty much figured that the state agency I worked for had hired Stasi who were watching my every move; I went to Texas French Bread, continually thinking that someone was seeing me, and writing things done, frowning, etc. Turns out nobody was trailing me, no one gave a damn, took me maybe two years in that job to relax into what it is to work in a govt gig, and to enjoy it. And I sure did enjoy it.
Maybe you got wound up tight like I did, and just can't see that lots of jobs are really casual. Relax. It'll take some time but relax into it. If you're a citizen when you are there IE if you are a productive member of the team, no one is going to question your motives or judgment of what you need at all.
I came to find out that it's lots of fun to go to Texas French Bread and read the paper, and some good fresh bread, hot black coffee.
Relax into it, as you can, when you can.
Good luck and have fun!
posted by dancestoblue at 3:45 AM on September 9, 2015 [3 favorites]
Best answer: I try to think what I would wish for a colleague. If he or she said they were feeling really woozy, I wuld want them at home. I think its very common to be too hard on ourselves. We're human and humans get sick. When I hear people boasting that they haven't had a sick day in 40 years I feel a bit icky. I mean, yay if they are super human healthy but its not likely, you know? Look at all the disasters attributed to fatigue and fatigue goes hand in hand with being sick. Staying home is often the most sensible choice. They actually make announcements on the trains here saying if you feel unwell get off at the next station and ask staff for help because getting help when the train is between stations is harder and can delay the medical help and all the trains along the line. Considering twice in the past few months my morning commuter train has been met my paramedics at the first major station, I'm thinking there's two people who wouldve been better off staying home.
Oh and if I have that really woozy feeling i usually say 'I feel really unwell today'. Semantics, but it makes me feel more genuine than 'I feel sick'.
And no shame in turning around and going home again if the commute decides for you that yes, should've picked staying home.
posted by kitten magic at 3:53 AM on September 9, 2015 [8 favorites]
Oh and if I have that really woozy feeling i usually say 'I feel really unwell today'. Semantics, but it makes me feel more genuine than 'I feel sick'.
And no shame in turning around and going home again if the commute decides for you that yes, should've picked staying home.
posted by kitten magic at 3:53 AM on September 9, 2015 [8 favorites]
Best answer: I decide when I'm sick enough by imagining that, instead of work, I have something social and enjoyable planned. Say, brunch with a couple of friends I like a lot. If I'd cancel on brunch, I cancel on work.
posted by daisyace at 3:58 AM on September 9, 2015 [18 favorites]
posted by daisyace at 3:58 AM on September 9, 2015 [18 favorites]
Hello! I just called out sick for today. I used to always power through when I was feeling ill and all it resulted in was more days where I didn't feel my best. And when I was sick, I always tried to over-explain exactly what was wrong. No more!
Today, I'm not contagious-sick at all. But I had a medical test yesterday afternoon that has left me sore, tired, and unsettled. So today's day will go toward naps and heating pads and feeling sorry for myself. Rather than be at 25% today and 50% tomorrow and 75% on Friday, I'll dedicate today to making sure I'm 100% tomorrow and Friday.
You don't have to tell them what you did, either. I have a stock answer of "slept, took pills, ran to pharmacy" if anyone is silly enough to ask. Feel better!
posted by kimberussell at 3:59 AM on September 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
Today, I'm not contagious-sick at all. But I had a medical test yesterday afternoon that has left me sore, tired, and unsettled. So today's day will go toward naps and heating pads and feeling sorry for myself. Rather than be at 25% today and 50% tomorrow and 75% on Friday, I'll dedicate today to making sure I'm 100% tomorrow and Friday.
You don't have to tell them what you did, either. I have a stock answer of "slept, took pills, ran to pharmacy" if anyone is silly enough to ask. Feel better!
posted by kimberussell at 3:59 AM on September 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oh and I hear you about feeling like you'll get busted for going out. I remember being home sick in high school and my mum needing an errand done late afternoon and thinking the walk would do me good and some girls from school saw me and went around telling everyone I'd been walking around carrying a cake (IT WASNT A CAKE! OMG! You'd think the box and I had eloped or something. Seriously, it didnt get more exciting than me walking down the street carrying a white bakery style box).
Luckily adulthood is no where near as insane and rife with gossip as catholic girls high school and eventually I realised adults get to leave the house without the entire world gossiping about it.
posted by kitten magic at 3:59 AM on September 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
Luckily adulthood is no where near as insane and rife with gossip as catholic girls high school and eventually I realised adults get to leave the house without the entire world gossiping about it.
posted by kitten magic at 3:59 AM on September 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
not 100% stable on my feet
I am not the sort of person who calls in sick at the slightest hint of an illness, but this is significant enough that it would be a clear "stay home today" signal to me.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:56 AM on September 9, 2015
I am not the sort of person who calls in sick at the slightest hint of an illness, but this is significant enough that it would be a clear "stay home today" signal to me.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:56 AM on September 9, 2015
Best answer: I am a manager. I am not your manager. I'll give you the TL;DR first:
STAY HOME!
I'm not big on characterizing things by what generation people appear to be from, but I have kids just a bit younger than you, from the sound of things, and every time my wife and I attended these grade school functions where all the honor roll certificates were handed out, and they got to the "perfect attendance" awards, we'd turn to each other and say "there's the little shits who gave our boys those colds," or words to that effect. This was Not A Thing when I was in school...
Seriously, it's a terrible lesson to be teaching young people - your being there matters more than your well-being, other's well-being, or whether anything is actually getting accomplished. Sure, there are gold-brickers who lay out at every opportunity. If you were one of those people you wouldn't be asking the question.
At my office we (at my suggestion) have ditched sick-leave and just - gave everyone an extra 5 days of leave. The only thing we ask is that last-minute "I need to go home/need to be out tomorrow" be a legit emergency, and that regular traditional vacation days be scheduled in advance. The thing is - they all "cost" us the same thing, whether you're on death's door, have a mild bit of hayfever, a sick pet, or want to go fishing. You shouldn't have to "prove" something about your "right" to stay home, and a decent company won't make you do it (I'm aware there are a lot of less-than-decent companies out there)...
posted by randomkeystrike at 5:12 AM on September 9, 2015 [7 favorites]
STAY HOME!
I'm not big on characterizing things by what generation people appear to be from, but I have kids just a bit younger than you, from the sound of things, and every time my wife and I attended these grade school functions where all the honor roll certificates were handed out, and they got to the "perfect attendance" awards, we'd turn to each other and say "there's the little shits who gave our boys those colds," or words to that effect. This was Not A Thing when I was in school...
Seriously, it's a terrible lesson to be teaching young people - your being there matters more than your well-being, other's well-being, or whether anything is actually getting accomplished. Sure, there are gold-brickers who lay out at every opportunity. If you were one of those people you wouldn't be asking the question.
At my office we (at my suggestion) have ditched sick-leave and just - gave everyone an extra 5 days of leave. The only thing we ask is that last-minute "I need to go home/need to be out tomorrow" be a legit emergency, and that regular traditional vacation days be scheduled in advance. The thing is - they all "cost" us the same thing, whether you're on death's door, have a mild bit of hayfever, a sick pet, or want to go fishing. You shouldn't have to "prove" something about your "right" to stay home, and a decent company won't make you do it (I'm aware there are a lot of less-than-decent companies out there)...
posted by randomkeystrike at 5:12 AM on September 9, 2015 [7 favorites]
I have a lot of guilt about this, too. But I will tell you this, one thing I've learned after working directly for CEOs and Vice Presidents for fifteen years: nobody cares if you stay home sick when you are actually sick. It will be forgotten by the end of the week. I used to worry about it a lot until I saw how my first CEO boss - who was a sort of volatile guy that lots of people were scared of - reacted when I told him people were home sick: "okay." That's it. Nobody cares, nobody holds it against you. Everybody gets sick. And nobody wants your germs. Stay home.
posted by something something at 5:16 AM on September 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by something something at 5:16 AM on September 9, 2015 [6 favorites]
I agree about taking care of yourself and not overthinking it and now that as adults we make these decisions and no one is spying on us; however, as a sort of counterpart to this consensus, I think the real answer is that it depends on your company culture and job aspirations. In some places I've worked, you did not take the day off unless you were unable to get out of bed. In others, you took every one of your sick days and not one more. It sounds like in your situation that you are not taking more sick days than the others and that you aren't looking for a big promotion so you are fine in taking your sick days.
posted by RoadScholar at 5:17 AM on September 9, 2015
posted by RoadScholar at 5:17 AM on September 9, 2015
There's another angle of refusing sick leave, which is the "I'm too important" angle. Are you trudging through your day with a terrible fever because you're convinced that you are irreplaceable and nobody could possibly fill in for you for even one day? I know a lot of people like this. They'll come in with no voice, coughing and sneezing, and they get everyone else sick, all because they have an inflated idea of how absolutely vital they are to the daily function of the business.
You're probably not that important. You can miss one or two days.
posted by deathpanels at 5:44 AM on September 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
You're probably not that important. You can miss one or two days.
posted by deathpanels at 5:44 AM on September 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
Best answer: My usual metrics:
1) Am I safe to get to work? (Can I drive safely? Am I feeling lightheaded enough there's a significant risk of a fall? Can I manage all parts of the commute, including walking from the parking lot? If it's winter, and the sidewalks are icy, and I'm already feeling unsteady, the situation's different than if it's summer.)
2) Am I potentially contagious, and if so, is it something my co-workers could pick up? (My current job, not a big deal: I have my own office. Past work spaces, a lot more chance I could pass things on.)
3) Is this the kind of thing where if I go in, I'm going to be pretty useless (and have the demands of the commute, not being able to rest easily) or something where if I take today off, I'll be a lot better after? If so, taking the day off may make a lot of sense.
4) Do I have anything on my work calendar, either today or in the next few, that's major? If I'm feeling not great but on the borderline of whether I'd call in, but there's an important meeting, I'll go in. If I'm feeling not great, but there's an important meeting tomorrow or the day after, I may stay home so I can rest, and be able to handle those better.
posted by modernhypatia at 5:53 AM on September 9, 2015 [8 favorites]
1) Am I safe to get to work? (Can I drive safely? Am I feeling lightheaded enough there's a significant risk of a fall? Can I manage all parts of the commute, including walking from the parking lot? If it's winter, and the sidewalks are icy, and I'm already feeling unsteady, the situation's different than if it's summer.)
2) Am I potentially contagious, and if so, is it something my co-workers could pick up? (My current job, not a big deal: I have my own office. Past work spaces, a lot more chance I could pass things on.)
3) Is this the kind of thing where if I go in, I'm going to be pretty useless (and have the demands of the commute, not being able to rest easily) or something where if I take today off, I'll be a lot better after? If so, taking the day off may make a lot of sense.
4) Do I have anything on my work calendar, either today or in the next few, that's major? If I'm feeling not great but on the borderline of whether I'd call in, but there's an important meeting, I'll go in. If I'm feeling not great, but there's an important meeting tomorrow or the day after, I may stay home so I can rest, and be able to handle those better.
posted by modernhypatia at 5:53 AM on September 9, 2015 [8 favorites]
Best answer: I want to add a few comments to modernhypatia's list of metrics:
Those metrics seem to be the ones to use if you are borderline "not feeling well" and you're not sure and you need help to decide. Before you start down that list, ask yourself if you are legit sick: fever, vomiting, can't walk upright, etc. If that is true, take the day off and no need to go down the rest of that list.
And I'll add one more to the list:
5) how recently have I taken a sick day and how often over the past few months have I taken sick days? I agree with lots of the posters above who say that nobody cares if you take a sick day UNLESS you take them all the time and this is just one more on the big pile. If you are making a habit of taking days off, people are going to notice. And if a lot of those days are borderline, you might find yourself having to justify them. Or you might get yourself put on one of those lists "if we had to reduce headcount, who should be the first people to go?".
posted by CathyG at 6:46 AM on September 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
Those metrics seem to be the ones to use if you are borderline "not feeling well" and you're not sure and you need help to decide. Before you start down that list, ask yourself if you are legit sick: fever, vomiting, can't walk upright, etc. If that is true, take the day off and no need to go down the rest of that list.
And I'll add one more to the list:
5) how recently have I taken a sick day and how often over the past few months have I taken sick days? I agree with lots of the posters above who say that nobody cares if you take a sick day UNLESS you take them all the time and this is just one more on the big pile. If you are making a habit of taking days off, people are going to notice. And if a lot of those days are borderline, you might find yourself having to justify them. Or you might get yourself put on one of those lists "if we had to reduce headcount, who should be the first people to go?".
posted by CathyG at 6:46 AM on September 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
I'm glad to hear so many people saying stay home if you are sick. I hope it indicates a cultural shift. The biologist Paul Ewald makes the case in one of his books/papers (not sure which as I don't have it at hand) that infectious diseases might evolve to be milder if we stayed home at the least sign of illness. For many (not all) infectious disease, the person who is sick must come into contact with other people to transmit the disease-causing organism. If the disease causes us to be too sick to get out around other people, it can't be transmitted and thus either dies out or a strain that happens to not cause as severe illness becomes the most common. His idea was to artificially make "too sick to go out" mean even mild symptoms.
If you are staying home for the sake of your co-workers' health, you should stay home from the store and any other public place. If you are staying home to get better more quickly, you really ought to stay in bed.
However, I think this is something that has the potential to backfire on an individual. I happen to get colds frequently, and if I had stayed home every time I had a sniffle, I'd have run out of sick days. If you have vestibular problems, you might be slightly dizzy much of the time, but it's not really a reason to not work in an office job. My former co-worker was told that she would get written up for taking too many sick days even though she still had paid sick days left (by a rather mean supervisor, but this can happen).
posted by SandiBeech at 6:59 AM on September 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
If you are staying home for the sake of your co-workers' health, you should stay home from the store and any other public place. If you are staying home to get better more quickly, you really ought to stay in bed.
However, I think this is something that has the potential to backfire on an individual. I happen to get colds frequently, and if I had stayed home every time I had a sniffle, I'd have run out of sick days. If you have vestibular problems, you might be slightly dizzy much of the time, but it's not really a reason to not work in an office job. My former co-worker was told that she would get written up for taking too many sick days even though she still had paid sick days left (by a rather mean supervisor, but this can happen).
posted by SandiBeech at 6:59 AM on September 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
My standards for calling in sick:
(a) Can I physically stay sitting up all day? (I have gone home for passing out on the keyboard.)
(b) Can I physically type? (I kinda sprained a pinky finger in a fall one day, but could still type, and it would have been A Problem had I been out long for a dang finger.)
(c) Can I be away from the toilet for very long?
(d) Is there some important meeting today, do I have to deal with the public today, are we short staffed already (we always are, but some days more than others), can the office work load deal with me falling down on the job?
I get a shit ton of sick time, but every person who's out makes it harder on the rest of them remaining, so I try to be out only if it's serious. If you just have yet another stuffy nose, sore throat, and cough but otherwise can work, then you work, especially since stuffy nose/sore throat/cough crap alone can last for awhile and not really interfere with your ability to work.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:22 AM on September 9, 2015
(a) Can I physically stay sitting up all day? (I have gone home for passing out on the keyboard.)
(b) Can I physically type? (I kinda sprained a pinky finger in a fall one day, but could still type, and it would have been A Problem had I been out long for a dang finger.)
(c) Can I be away from the toilet for very long?
(d) Is there some important meeting today, do I have to deal with the public today, are we short staffed already (we always are, but some days more than others), can the office work load deal with me falling down on the job?
I get a shit ton of sick time, but every person who's out makes it harder on the rest of them remaining, so I try to be out only if it's serious. If you just have yet another stuffy nose, sore throat, and cough but otherwise can work, then you work, especially since stuffy nose/sore throat/cough crap alone can last for awhile and not really interfere with your ability to work.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:22 AM on September 9, 2015
If you are actually sick - fever, vomiting, etc - you stay home. That's pretty straightforward. You should not go to work if you are seriously ill.
But, yeah, there are borderline cases, and those can be annoying - fighting off a cold, bad seasonal allergies, even lack of sleep (I get this thing a couple times a year where my allergies make me unable to fall asleep, then I wind up feeling sick due to allergies plus sleep deprivation, but I'm not really sick in the contagious sense). Then it's a function of a) if you have any pressing tasks/deadlines that day, or in the upcoming days, that you need to be there for and b) the last time you took a sick day. If you haven't taken a sick day in awhile and there's nothing pressing that you need to do, you're probably fine taking a day if it's borderline. If those two conditions aren't met, you power through it.
There's also compromises: Can you go in late/leave early? Can you work from home? These things can help in the borderline cases.
posted by breakin' the law at 8:00 AM on September 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
But, yeah, there are borderline cases, and those can be annoying - fighting off a cold, bad seasonal allergies, even lack of sleep (I get this thing a couple times a year where my allergies make me unable to fall asleep, then I wind up feeling sick due to allergies plus sleep deprivation, but I'm not really sick in the contagious sense). Then it's a function of a) if you have any pressing tasks/deadlines that day, or in the upcoming days, that you need to be there for and b) the last time you took a sick day. If you haven't taken a sick day in awhile and there's nothing pressing that you need to do, you're probably fine taking a day if it's borderline. If those two conditions aren't met, you power through it.
There's also compromises: Can you go in late/leave early? Can you work from home? These things can help in the borderline cases.
posted by breakin' the law at 8:00 AM on September 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
I like jenfullmoon's list, but feel that it's a bit too stringent. I would stay home for symptoms milder than what that list implies. Or maybe add criterion (e) Can I pay attention to something other than [my sore throat] for long enough to accomplish things?
The other thing I often do is to call in sick to my manager/office to satisfy the administrative requirement, and they mark me absent on the office board. Then I call the main person/people who I usually work with on projects, tell them that I won't be in today, confirm what our nearest upcoming deadline is and whether they need my input today or not, say whether I think I'll be back tomorrow or the next day, and generally help my project leader make the team's plan for the next few days.
posted by aimedwander at 8:02 AM on September 9, 2015
The other thing I often do is to call in sick to my manager/office to satisfy the administrative requirement, and they mark me absent on the office board. Then I call the main person/people who I usually work with on projects, tell them that I won't be in today, confirm what our nearest upcoming deadline is and whether they need my input today or not, say whether I think I'll be back tomorrow or the next day, and generally help my project leader make the team's plan for the next few days.
posted by aimedwander at 8:02 AM on September 9, 2015
when i had retail jobs, they cared because of shifts and staffing.
But we still want you to call in sick if you're unwell. I'm a retail supervisor and although it can sometimes be a pain if I can't replace someone, I would still rather that sick people didn't come in. One person calling out is a minor inconvenience, my entire team stuck at home with the flu because someone came in to work when they shouldn't have and passed it on to everyone else is a much bigger problem. Plus, you know, human decency and everything. The biggest sick leave related problem I have is convincing people who shouldn't have come in at all that they need to go home (yes, we have paid sick leave).
posted by lwb at 8:07 AM on September 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
But we still want you to call in sick if you're unwell. I'm a retail supervisor and although it can sometimes be a pain if I can't replace someone, I would still rather that sick people didn't come in. One person calling out is a minor inconvenience, my entire team stuck at home with the flu because someone came in to work when they shouldn't have and passed it on to everyone else is a much bigger problem. Plus, you know, human decency and everything. The biggest sick leave related problem I have is convincing people who shouldn't have come in at all that they need to go home (yes, we have paid sick leave).
posted by lwb at 8:07 AM on September 9, 2015 [2 favorites]
I just feel sick, as in woozy, not 100% stable on my feet etc.
I could have written your question, right down to the "I sometimes don't realize how terrible I feel until I am in my seat on the train."
But last year, after a round of "it probably isn't that bad/I'm sure I'll snap out of it/I'll just be sitting at my desk at work anyway", I then proceeded to faint at the top of a two story escalator.
If you feel woozy, stay home. Stay home stay home. If you do perk up partway through the day and decide to go in, or to telework for a few hours, then that is fine. But it is better to be safe than collapsing in a public place, or at work, or at all.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 10:00 AM on September 9, 2015
I could have written your question, right down to the "I sometimes don't realize how terrible I feel until I am in my seat on the train."
But last year, after a round of "it probably isn't that bad/I'm sure I'll snap out of it/I'll just be sitting at my desk at work anyway", I then proceeded to faint at the top of a two story escalator.
If you feel woozy, stay home. Stay home stay home. If you do perk up partway through the day and decide to go in, or to telework for a few hours, then that is fine. But it is better to be safe than collapsing in a public place, or at work, or at all.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 10:00 AM on September 9, 2015
I usually err on the side of being the jerk who shows up to work while sick. Don't do that! I have a much shorter commute than you, and have felt dumb for driving to work, sitting there for a half hour, and then realizing I should never have left bed.
The best way to think of sick time, if you're thinking of harming your own record of productivity or impeding your coworkers is this: Are you more productive at work if you take a day or two to stay at home, helping to get over an illness, or if you tire yourself out by going to work and stretch your total time sick out to a week or more? I don't get nearly as much done at work when sick. I can't concentrate, I do tasks slowly, and I'm more likely to screw up. Being at half productivity for a week is a lot more harmful than just not showing up.
posted by mikeh at 1:55 PM on September 9, 2015
The best way to think of sick time, if you're thinking of harming your own record of productivity or impeding your coworkers is this: Are you more productive at work if you take a day or two to stay at home, helping to get over an illness, or if you tire yourself out by going to work and stretch your total time sick out to a week or more? I don't get nearly as much done at work when sick. I can't concentrate, I do tasks slowly, and I'm more likely to screw up. Being at half productivity for a week is a lot more harmful than just not showing up.
posted by mikeh at 1:55 PM on September 9, 2015
You may call in sick when you have germs you don't want to spread around the office or feel otherwise incapable of completing the tasks of your job on that day. Mental health days count as sick days, imo.
As for what you can do while I out sick? Whatever necessary to recuperate.
posted by bgal81 at 1:59 PM on September 9, 2015
As for what you can do while I out sick? Whatever necessary to recuperate.
posted by bgal81 at 1:59 PM on September 9, 2015
My metric is "I feel like ass, and if I must feel like ass I'd rather do it here," coupled with "None of my cow-orkers deserve to feel like ass this week, so I'm calling in."
What you do when using your earned/accrued sick time is nobody's bloody business.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 2:58 PM on September 9, 2015
What you do when using your earned/accrued sick time is nobody's bloody business.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 2:58 PM on September 9, 2015
I vote stay home if there's even a chance that you're contagious. My oldest daughter was immunocompromised from birth and is still very much at risk from respiratory infections, plus I have an infant who can't have cold medicine to help him feel better if he gets sick. Your coworkers don't want to get sick, but some of them might be in contact with people who really shouldn't get sick.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 6:03 PM on September 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 6:03 PM on September 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
It can be tough, as others have said, depending on your work environment.
I get colds fairly often - not debilitating by any means, but they would probably go aware quicker if I had the opportunity to rest. Case in point, I've been at my "new job" for 10 months, and have taken probably in the neighborhood of 5 sick days - which have been colds, headaches, and stomach bugs. They've been spread throughout my time there, and it has been so wonderful to be able to just send an email morning of and say, "I'm out sick today" and have no one bat an eye.
As compared to at a previous job, where the boss would rant and rave if you a) called out sick or b) came in to work sick. People would come in sneezing and hacking and claim to have allergies, because it was easier than staying home and having the boss put you on the short list to be fired (I called out one time after 13 months working there because I had what ended up being a benign cyst that was causing me pain, and the boss told the hiring manager to post my job online because I clearly wasn't a team player. Luckily I had a doctor's note!)
At my last job, the owners would come in sick, get us sick, and then freak out if we called out sick (and complain that we were "getting them sick.") In the middle of a nasty winter, I caught a bad cold from them, to the point that they sent me home at 12, this was on a Tuesday. I was so worn out and sick that I was out the rest of the week, using up all my sick days in one swoop and short staffing them, all because they gave me shit about calling out on Monday, when I could have rested and gotten better for Tuesday and the rest of the week!
Ahem, anyway.
If you are somewhere that they don't give you a hard time when you are sick and other people take sick days, then be smart. Take the advice from others above - if you are contagious, putting yourself or others at risk, or just plain feel crappy, stay home!
posted by firei at 6:26 PM on September 9, 2015
I get colds fairly often - not debilitating by any means, but they would probably go aware quicker if I had the opportunity to rest. Case in point, I've been at my "new job" for 10 months, and have taken probably in the neighborhood of 5 sick days - which have been colds, headaches, and stomach bugs. They've been spread throughout my time there, and it has been so wonderful to be able to just send an email morning of and say, "I'm out sick today" and have no one bat an eye.
As compared to at a previous job, where the boss would rant and rave if you a) called out sick or b) came in to work sick. People would come in sneezing and hacking and claim to have allergies, because it was easier than staying home and having the boss put you on the short list to be fired (I called out one time after 13 months working there because I had what ended up being a benign cyst that was causing me pain, and the boss told the hiring manager to post my job online because I clearly wasn't a team player. Luckily I had a doctor's note!)
At my last job, the owners would come in sick, get us sick, and then freak out if we called out sick (and complain that we were "getting them sick.") In the middle of a nasty winter, I caught a bad cold from them, to the point that they sent me home at 12, this was on a Tuesday. I was so worn out and sick that I was out the rest of the week, using up all my sick days in one swoop and short staffing them, all because they gave me shit about calling out on Monday, when I could have rested and gotten better for Tuesday and the rest of the week!
Ahem, anyway.
If you are somewhere that they don't give you a hard time when you are sick and other people take sick days, then be smart. Take the advice from others above - if you are contagious, putting yourself or others at risk, or just plain feel crappy, stay home!
posted by firei at 6:26 PM on September 9, 2015
You can do whatever you want except bring your germs to the office.
Well... hosting a drunken party, or spending the day playing sports & then posting photos to social media might not be the best move you could make.
posted by HiroProtagonist at 8:29 PM on September 9, 2015
Well... hosting a drunken party, or spending the day playing sports & then posting photos to social media might not be the best move you could make.
posted by HiroProtagonist at 8:29 PM on September 9, 2015
I also feel guilty about calling in sick, but I rehearse my voicemail message a couple times - if I call right when I wake up, my voice sounds a bit hoarse. I've also learned that it's fine to take the occasional *mental* health day as well - it's just as important to being able to function at work.
posted by bendy at 8:51 PM on September 9, 2015
posted by bendy at 8:51 PM on September 9, 2015
« Older Is there an independent shop that services Chevy... | I once had MP3s of every song from The Muppet Show... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by LoonyLovegood at 11:50 PM on September 8, 2015 [1 favorite]