Learning how to dog
September 7, 2015 7:32 AM Subscribe
It seems that we have a dog coming to live with us tonight. She's a rescue and apparently doesn't know how to be a dog. How do we teach her this?
This is our new pup. We met her the other day, she's super adorable and sweet, but according to the rescue she was basically feral and neglected for the first two years of her life. She's terrified of most things right now and doesn't understand basic dog stuff like treats and toys. Her foster said that she was walked on a leash for the first time ever just a couple weeks ago, but we took her around the block when we met her and she seems to do pretty well on a leash all things considered. She ignored our cats, so I don't think we need to worry too much about their interactions.
So, how do we teach her good dog mannerisms and not to be afraid of us and our friends? Are there any critical steps we should take in the first couple weeks we have her? Should I try to work from home for awhile, or should we continue our normal schedule? In short, how do we help her be the best dog that ever dogged?
This is our new pup. We met her the other day, she's super adorable and sweet, but according to the rescue she was basically feral and neglected for the first two years of her life. She's terrified of most things right now and doesn't understand basic dog stuff like treats and toys. Her foster said that she was walked on a leash for the first time ever just a couple weeks ago, but we took her around the block when we met her and she seems to do pretty well on a leash all things considered. She ignored our cats, so I don't think we need to worry too much about their interactions.
So, how do we teach her good dog mannerisms and not to be afraid of us and our friends? Are there any critical steps we should take in the first couple weeks we have her? Should I try to work from home for awhile, or should we continue our normal schedule? In short, how do we help her be the best dog that ever dogged?
Crate training worked well for our 1 year old rescue dog who was so unused to doors (and everything else associated with civilized life), they had to carry her 50 pounds of freaked out self out to meet us. Having another dog who she liked also helped too, but I'm guessing you'd have mentioned if you had one of those. Bathroom stuff seemed like it was going great for a while, but in actuality she was just trying to poop in the most inconspicuous available space indoors. Similarly, we had some trouble with actually getting her to relieve herself on leash. That's still a challenge if we're on a road trip or something - normally she has free reign of the backyard, so the idea of pooping on a leash is weird and unsettling to her. YMMV. Cute dog!
posted by deludingmyself at 7:47 AM on September 7, 2015
posted by deludingmyself at 7:47 AM on September 7, 2015
She's terrified of most things right now and doesn't understand basic dog stuff like treats and toys.
Try to leave her be. Set out a variety of toys (something soft that makes noise when you squeeze it, a nylabone for hard chewing, a rope for tugging, a tennis ball) and put a tiny stinky treat on each one. (I like to use pieces of shredded cheese for small high reward treats, but this will result in dog farts, you have been warned.) Let it be her decision to approach the toys, and just give her encouragement when she does.
Definitely agree with the crate decision, or if not a crate, then a bed or a blanket where she can go that's her safe space, somewhere she will not be bothered by humans or cats, if she needs to escape. Put a few pieces of cheese on that at first, too, to show her it's a safe and friendly place.
Give her tons of praise and treats when she approaches you, but don't force anything. Basically just take it slow. Give her everything she needs and let her set the pace for how she settles into your life.
posted by phunniemee at 7:49 AM on September 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Try to leave her be. Set out a variety of toys (something soft that makes noise when you squeeze it, a nylabone for hard chewing, a rope for tugging, a tennis ball) and put a tiny stinky treat on each one. (I like to use pieces of shredded cheese for small high reward treats, but this will result in dog farts, you have been warned.) Let it be her decision to approach the toys, and just give her encouragement when she does.
Definitely agree with the crate decision, or if not a crate, then a bed or a blanket where she can go that's her safe space, somewhere she will not be bothered by humans or cats, if she needs to escape. Put a few pieces of cheese on that at first, too, to show her it's a safe and friendly place.
Give her tons of praise and treats when she approaches you, but don't force anything. Basically just take it slow. Give her everything she needs and let her set the pace for how she settles into your life.
posted by phunniemee at 7:49 AM on September 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Seconding that a crate can be very helpful as a "den" or "safe place" for a new dog. Also very helpful for house training. You don't want a new dog having free roam of your house all day long if/when you are not around.
posted by Mid at 7:57 AM on September 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Mid at 7:57 AM on September 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
1. Crate training as mentioned.
2. Consistency. Whatever word you use for potty use every time. 100% without ever not using it. (Dunno why but we say "go outside" and have for every dog since my parents were kids... Surprising how many people don't do this )
3. Consistency. Feeding times locations. Allowance to be on the couch. Sleeping. Location. Etc.
4. Unreasonably low expectations of the dog. They're gonna shit everywhere. And pee even though they just went out. And ness with your cats real bad in 3 weeks. Just sign on and give it a full year before frustration sets in.
5. Think like a pack animal for a feral dog. The mindset helps. Be the leader dog when appropriate and a member of the pack too. When we raised brothers from a litter thinking like a pack member helped to potty train etc.
What an amazingly adorable puppy. Congrats to you and good job for taking on a hard case... The rewards will be huge.
posted by chasles at 8:12 AM on September 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
2. Consistency. Whatever word you use for potty use every time. 100% without ever not using it. (Dunno why but we say "go outside" and have for every dog since my parents were kids... Surprising how many people don't do this )
3. Consistency. Feeding times locations. Allowance to be on the couch. Sleeping. Location. Etc.
4. Unreasonably low expectations of the dog. They're gonna shit everywhere. And pee even though they just went out. And ness with your cats real bad in 3 weeks. Just sign on and give it a full year before frustration sets in.
5. Think like a pack animal for a feral dog. The mindset helps. Be the leader dog when appropriate and a member of the pack too. When we raised brothers from a litter thinking like a pack member helped to potty train etc.
What an amazingly adorable puppy. Congrats to you and good job for taking on a hard case... The rewards will be huge.
posted by chasles at 8:12 AM on September 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
I think socialized dogs are happy dogs. "Puppy Manners" classes are good for initial socialization, and a good foundation for obedience training.
posted by Room 641-A at 8:25 AM on September 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Room 641-A at 8:25 AM on September 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
100% agree with crate training and consistency. Get your partner on board so you're using the same words and enforcing the same rules. She's a dog so there is something she likes to eat - use that as a treat. Plain cooked chicken has never been refused by any dog I've known.
Positive reinforcement is the key. Start where she is: any time she does something new + good, she gets a treat. Keep giving her treats for that new behavior until it is totally de rigeur.
If she does get weird with the cats, make sure she knows the cats are the boss - she should see you interacting with the cats so she knows they're supposed to be there and that they are not any threat.
posted by desjardins at 8:40 AM on September 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Positive reinforcement is the key. Start where she is: any time she does something new + good, she gets a treat. Keep giving her treats for that new behavior until it is totally de rigeur.
If she does get weird with the cats, make sure she knows the cats are the boss - she should see you interacting with the cats so she knows they're supposed to be there and that they are not any threat.
posted by desjardins at 8:40 AM on September 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Stuff like toys and play can just be put aside for a later date. Have toys of the main categories (soft stuffed, rope, rubbery-chewable, ball) around, but know that it may be months or never before some of them are ever used. Do periodically offer them to the dog so they know they are allowed.
In the meantime, let your dog teach you what it thinks is fun. I had a rescue greyhound who never much took to toys besides occasionally gutting a stuffed animal, but he had games he liked to play and he taught them to me. It was about 18 months before his personality had fully bloomed into the dog he pretty much was for the rest of his life.
You're starting out with the dog in a situation where he's been dropped into a pack and he has no idea what his place is in it, if you want him there, if it's going to suck. Try to help him understand that you and any other human pack members are Taking Care of Things so he doesn't have to. You'll obtain the food, you'll keep the den safe, you'll decide where to go to the bathroom. Keep in mind that dogs learn to read your mood very quickly, and they will pick up on your anger or anxiety and also happiness, so when you are giving food or showing them the bathroom spot or taking them to a new place or teaching them to do an unfamiliar thing, keep your energy up! and thisisgood! and back those things up with whatever you decide up front will be your good-dog words and rewards.
She ignored our cats, so I don't think we need to worry too much about their interactions.
From experience: everyone who has dogs and cats (or predators of wildly differing sizes) should make sure their cats have a place to get away from dogs in every room. You do not know anything about what your dog might do to your cats based on one instance of ignoring them in the middle of massive overstimulation. I had a dozen dogs and fosters with a house full of cats and no issues for a decade, and then I had a huge thunderstorm while nobody was home, and then I had fewer cats.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:48 AM on September 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
In the meantime, let your dog teach you what it thinks is fun. I had a rescue greyhound who never much took to toys besides occasionally gutting a stuffed animal, but he had games he liked to play and he taught them to me. It was about 18 months before his personality had fully bloomed into the dog he pretty much was for the rest of his life.
You're starting out with the dog in a situation where he's been dropped into a pack and he has no idea what his place is in it, if you want him there, if it's going to suck. Try to help him understand that you and any other human pack members are Taking Care of Things so he doesn't have to. You'll obtain the food, you'll keep the den safe, you'll decide where to go to the bathroom. Keep in mind that dogs learn to read your mood very quickly, and they will pick up on your anger or anxiety and also happiness, so when you are giving food or showing them the bathroom spot or taking them to a new place or teaching them to do an unfamiliar thing, keep your energy up! and thisisgood! and back those things up with whatever you decide up front will be your good-dog words and rewards.
She ignored our cats, so I don't think we need to worry too much about their interactions.
From experience: everyone who has dogs and cats (or predators of wildly differing sizes) should make sure their cats have a place to get away from dogs in every room. You do not know anything about what your dog might do to your cats based on one instance of ignoring them in the middle of massive overstimulation. I had a dozen dogs and fosters with a house full of cats and no issues for a decade, and then I had a huge thunderstorm while nobody was home, and then I had fewer cats.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:48 AM on September 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
Definitely +1 to getting her a crate - make sure it's a comfortable size for her to lay down in but not too big (or she'll find ways to creatively potty in it - my second dog had diarrhea inside her crate after we got her).
It'll take 2-3 weeks minimum for her to settle in and her stress hormone levels to decrease. The dog you met today is going to be a different dog so expect that. If she's fearful, give her a lot of leash and encouragement (stinky high-value treats! pets! toys!) to approach new and unfamiliar things on her own pace.
Consistency is key - you're just starting to develop the language with which you and your dog will communicate. Clear phrasings, repeatable voice tone, and pairing it with hand gestures make a big difference in how fast she'll catch on. Many small training sessions (2-5 minutes, only a couple treats) are more effective than one large one.
posted by bookdragoness at 8:49 AM on September 7, 2015
It'll take 2-3 weeks minimum for her to settle in and her stress hormone levels to decrease. The dog you met today is going to be a different dog so expect that. If she's fearful, give her a lot of leash and encouragement (stinky high-value treats! pets! toys!) to approach new and unfamiliar things on her own pace.
Consistency is key - you're just starting to develop the language with which you and your dog will communicate. Clear phrasings, repeatable voice tone, and pairing it with hand gestures make a big difference in how fast she'll catch on. Many small training sessions (2-5 minutes, only a couple treats) are more effective than one large one.
posted by bookdragoness at 8:49 AM on September 7, 2015
We had a pup from a similar background growing up! She turned out great. What we learned:
1. Nthing crate training. She'll need a safe space.
2. Dog friends asap that she can run around with (not just meet on walks), assuming she isn't aggressive with them. Doggy day care helped ours a lot even as an adult and we wish we'd discovered it earlier on. Even once a week could help a lot with socialization.
3. Ours had a real fear of people, so we took her to social situations (downtown, farmers markets, little league) as soon as we could. We'd specifically bring extra treats that we'd give to passerbys to give her, and that was really helpful. In retrospect one immediate thing I wish we'd done would be to ask friends to stop by our house at regular intervals to visit, in order to establish that house visitors are a normal part of the routine. While never violent, our pup was/is very territorial and it took years to get her to stop growling at visitors.
4. You will have to teach her to play (and should do it early). I taught ours to play fetch by placing a toy in her mouth, quickly stating "drop", and giving her a treat, and then progressively dropping it increasing inches from her face for her to catch and then drop at my feet. It took a while, but she got it. Of course if there are other dogs around that she can learn from too, that will help the most.
posted by veery at 8:50 AM on September 7, 2015
1. Nthing crate training. She'll need a safe space.
2. Dog friends asap that she can run around with (not just meet on walks), assuming she isn't aggressive with them. Doggy day care helped ours a lot even as an adult and we wish we'd discovered it earlier on. Even once a week could help a lot with socialization.
3. Ours had a real fear of people, so we took her to social situations (downtown, farmers markets, little league) as soon as we could. We'd specifically bring extra treats that we'd give to passerbys to give her, and that was really helpful. In retrospect one immediate thing I wish we'd done would be to ask friends to stop by our house at regular intervals to visit, in order to establish that house visitors are a normal part of the routine. While never violent, our pup was/is very territorial and it took years to get her to stop growling at visitors.
4. You will have to teach her to play (and should do it early). I taught ours to play fetch by placing a toy in her mouth, quickly stating "drop", and giving her a treat, and then progressively dropping it increasing inches from her face for her to catch and then drop at my feet. It took a while, but she got it. Of course if there are other dogs around that she can learn from too, that will help the most.
posted by veery at 8:50 AM on September 7, 2015
Definitely ditto to the recommendations to get a crate! I have a (senior) rescue dog who didn't know how to dog, and her crate is an essential safe place that she retreats to when being a dog is too confusing (someone tried to engage with a toy? Crate. Someone tried to feed her dinner? Hurt look, retreat to crate. Cat looked at her funny? Runs into crate.) Plus, the number of dog owners I know who come home to houses torn apart by anxious dogs blows my mind because crate training is the answer!
Being around other dogs really did help teach her how things worked. I haven't been able to get her to chase a ball, but she loves to chase the dog chasing a ball and will occasionally pick up the ball now, thanks to hanging out with friendly labs who loves to fetch. Before, picking up a ball caused her to drop to the floor and cower.
Being around calm dogs in new situations works wonders, so I'd plan some doggy dates for things you want to introduce your new BFF to, like walks on more populated streets or car rides (as long as you know they won't fight). For awhile, I took my dog to the dog park everyday thinking it would help give her some confidence about being a dog but it was way too much. I don't think dog parks have great energy and unless it was just her and a dog she knew really well, she'd get way too overwhelmed. I'd definitely recommend a training class or meeting up with friends who have dogs for the socialization over a dog park (and find a dog park with a shy dog area if you eventually want to add that in, it is awesome to have a fenced in area for your dog to blow off steam.)
Wishing you many happy years with that cutie pie!
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 9:43 AM on September 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Being around other dogs really did help teach her how things worked. I haven't been able to get her to chase a ball, but she loves to chase the dog chasing a ball and will occasionally pick up the ball now, thanks to hanging out with friendly labs who loves to fetch. Before, picking up a ball caused her to drop to the floor and cower.
Being around calm dogs in new situations works wonders, so I'd plan some doggy dates for things you want to introduce your new BFF to, like walks on more populated streets or car rides (as long as you know they won't fight). For awhile, I took my dog to the dog park everyday thinking it would help give her some confidence about being a dog but it was way too much. I don't think dog parks have great energy and unless it was just her and a dog she knew really well, she'd get way too overwhelmed. I'd definitely recommend a training class or meeting up with friends who have dogs for the socialization over a dog park (and find a dog park with a shy dog area if you eventually want to add that in, it is awesome to have a fenced in area for your dog to blow off steam.)
Wishing you many happy years with that cutie pie!
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 9:43 AM on September 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Congratulations! I just got a new rescue, Dermot, on Thursday and he's doing great! He's about a year and has spent most of that in a shelter and/or foster home. He has a couple of quirks, for example, he's timid about taking toys and then once he does, he will run away and hide with it; and he seems a little fearful like he's constantly thinking "Uh-oh, Am I in trouble?" My main focus right now is to make him feel safe and loved. I'm giving him a week or so to get used to being here before I introduce him to new people and places. Then I agree, socialization is a good first step.
Best of luck with your pup - he's really beautiful!
posted by mulcahy at 10:49 AM on September 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Best of luck with your pup - he's really beautiful!
posted by mulcahy at 10:49 AM on September 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
We have two rescue dogs and had to work on teaching how to dog twice. Crate training is a huuuggggeeee yes -they are now 2 and 3 years old and love their crates so much that we just kept the crates and leave the doors open if they would rather go in there than hang on their dog beds. Our youngest was in a situation similar to yours and we had to toilet train her from scratch even though she was 1 when we rescued her because she never learned. You actually can teach old dogs new tricks!
Patience and positive energy are essential as well as being firm...not discipline, but you are the alpha and they need to know that - things go better very quickly with this one concept. Give attention only for positive behavior and don't act negatively towards the bad (for example if dog eats a shoe, just walk over and take the shoe away. If dog signals to you that it's time to out for a pee, reward with treats, hugs, gushing, after watering the grass).
Our dogs still look to us for cues on what to do if they get confused, but it is critical to be a strong alpha. Other than that, lots of positive attention and bring your new dog everywhere! It gets them quickly used to being able to handle all situations. Eventually you will get to know your dog's triggers and quirks and will be able to plan accordingly, but a lot is also trial and error!
posted by floweredfish at 1:07 PM on September 7, 2015
Patience and positive energy are essential as well as being firm...not discipline, but you are the alpha and they need to know that - things go better very quickly with this one concept. Give attention only for positive behavior and don't act negatively towards the bad (for example if dog eats a shoe, just walk over and take the shoe away. If dog signals to you that it's time to out for a pee, reward with treats, hugs, gushing, after watering the grass).
Our dogs still look to us for cues on what to do if they get confused, but it is critical to be a strong alpha. Other than that, lots of positive attention and bring your new dog everywhere! It gets them quickly used to being able to handle all situations. Eventually you will get to know your dog's triggers and quirks and will be able to plan accordingly, but a lot is also trial and error!
posted by floweredfish at 1:07 PM on September 7, 2015
Response by poster: This is all great advice, thanks. The foster had already started her on crate training, so we decided to continue that - we went to the store and got the crate, some food, a leash and collar, and some other odds and ends. She comes home tonight!
posted by backseatpilot at 1:13 PM on September 7, 2015
posted by backseatpilot at 1:13 PM on September 7, 2015
Exciting! I'm chiming to nth the suggestion to find her a doggy friend. My good friend's good dog is teaching my new rescue to dog better than I could ever teach him to dog. A happy, friendly, well adjusted dog can teach your dog to play, to chase, to meet and greet other dogs, all those subtle doggy things that are harder for humans to teach because we don't speak dog.
posted by Grandysaur at 1:42 PM on September 7, 2015
posted by Grandysaur at 1:42 PM on September 7, 2015
Keep calm in your voice and manner. Too much getting excited or angry is bad. Show her your hands before you touch her if she flinches from you. Stay calm and consistent. She has to be able to count on you to be safe and nurturing, then her behavior will either settle down or she'll be prepared to go to classes with you.
Have fun!
posted by irisclara at 6:02 PM on September 7, 2015
Have fun!
posted by irisclara at 6:02 PM on September 7, 2015
Especially in the beginning, be mindful of the pitch of your voice. Dogs are praise-driven, but they've got to know it's praise. Excited "who's a good doggie!!?!" stuff can easily get a little squealy, which an anxious dog may not interpret as a happy sound. Focus on low, consistent "good, good" type phrases.
The same goes for appreciative/reward petting - long, slow strokes seem better (to me anyway) then quick pats, with a nervous animal.
Good luck with your adorable new buddy!
posted by jessicapierce at 9:48 PM on September 7, 2015
The same goes for appreciative/reward petting - long, slow strokes seem better (to me anyway) then quick pats, with a nervous animal.
Good luck with your adorable new buddy!
posted by jessicapierce at 9:48 PM on September 7, 2015
Don't push human style affection on her. Hugging & kissing etc are very un-natural to dogs and come across as signs of aggression, a this can be very hard for humans to understand as you just want to comfort a poor scared animal but can make things worse.
Let her come to you when she feels safe. Avoid things that are accidentally aggressive in dog language, avoid staring, too much eye contact, standing over her, grabbing at her, using loud voices etc. Sit on the floor, look away, let her come to you & slowly increase pats. I had a dog that was terrified of hugs, but now 2 years later he will come up for them, and literally throw himself into my arms for them. Dogs yawn at each other to signal they are no threat and I find this a handy signal with shy/unsocialised dogs. A yawn and look away if the dog appears nervous to say hey I'm no threat.
What ever you do consistency is the main rule & what will make the dog feel safest, a safe dog will come out of it's shell & try new things. Start slowly with toys & try a wide range of treats, you'll find something it likes eventually. It may feel safest at first taking treats if you drop them on the floor in front of of them instead of eating out of your hand.
When she is ready, you may want to look into obedience or agility classes, not only for the training aspect, but it will give the dog confidence in you, it is a great bonding exercise & sneaks in some controlled socialization, but even a few private classes if she's not great with other dogs will help you both.
I've taken on 2 "harder" cases of rescue dogs and while they can be a bit of extra work, and take patience, the joy when they start coming out of their shells & gain confidence in you & will play with you etc is an amazing feeling.
posted by wwax at 9:56 AM on September 8, 2015
Let her come to you when she feels safe. Avoid things that are accidentally aggressive in dog language, avoid staring, too much eye contact, standing over her, grabbing at her, using loud voices etc. Sit on the floor, look away, let her come to you & slowly increase pats. I had a dog that was terrified of hugs, but now 2 years later he will come up for them, and literally throw himself into my arms for them. Dogs yawn at each other to signal they are no threat and I find this a handy signal with shy/unsocialised dogs. A yawn and look away if the dog appears nervous to say hey I'm no threat.
What ever you do consistency is the main rule & what will make the dog feel safest, a safe dog will come out of it's shell & try new things. Start slowly with toys & try a wide range of treats, you'll find something it likes eventually. It may feel safest at first taking treats if you drop them on the floor in front of of them instead of eating out of your hand.
When she is ready, you may want to look into obedience or agility classes, not only for the training aspect, but it will give the dog confidence in you, it is a great bonding exercise & sneaks in some controlled socialization, but even a few private classes if she's not great with other dogs will help you both.
I've taken on 2 "harder" cases of rescue dogs and while they can be a bit of extra work, and take patience, the joy when they start coming out of their shells & gain confidence in you & will play with you etc is an amazing feeling.
posted by wwax at 9:56 AM on September 8, 2015
My dog had the basics of training when I got her (leash, housebroken), but interactions with dogs were confusing to her. Over the past few years, she has slowly learned some basic dogging (sniff butts, not faces!), and just this summer learned why it’s so fun to chase tennis balls. She's still skittish in many situations, but is also much more confident on walks and around new dogs.
Books like The Other End of the Leash (really anything by Patricia McConnell) really helped me. Here are some other useful things:
Work from home at the beginning just to make sure things are ok -- separation anxiety is easier to deal with early on -- but you can try to plan major routines like feeding times, long walks, etc so they'll be the same once you're back to a regular work schedule.
Start slow. Large crowds may be too overwhelming for your dog for a while—start with some people over at your house (with a lot of treats), and go from there. Dog parks are intermediate level dogging, not beginner; they can be crowded, the play gets rough, other dogs might be jerks, etc. Start with a nice dogfriend at home, or go to the park when it’s empty and work your way up.
Sidenote: Like someone else said, dog parks aren’t something you have to do. Some dogs never really are good at dog parks. Dog parks probably aren't always so great for exercise, either, except for dogs that are super sociable and also playful. My dog gets her exercise from daily walks and runs, and we go to the dog park sometimes so the other dog owners can pet her.
Don’t push your dog past its comfort zone. This sounds counterintuitive — how else can it grow? Try to push your dog only to the edge of its comfort zone instead, and give lots of treats and positive reinforcement; growth happens when it’s still happy, not anxious or scared. This is important not only to help it make progress, but also so it never feels out of control. Scared or anxious dogs often act like mean, aggressive dogs, which people often yell at — “STOP BARKING!!!” — making the dog more terrified. Try to set your dog up for success.
Your dog does not speak English. A lot of “obedience training” is actually about training you to communicate effectively with your dog through your words, voice, and body language. Consistency is really important, even when it seems like you’ve hit a wall. Consistent exercise, regular training, and predictable routines can help a lot.
Your dog will have ups and downs. It will seem like you’re making progress, and then backslide. It’s ok. Progress isn’t a straight, upward line. Be patient with your dog, and with yourself. Good luck!
posted by joJeppson at 12:24 PM on September 8, 2015
Books like The Other End of the Leash (really anything by Patricia McConnell) really helped me. Here are some other useful things:
Work from home at the beginning just to make sure things are ok -- separation anxiety is easier to deal with early on -- but you can try to plan major routines like feeding times, long walks, etc so they'll be the same once you're back to a regular work schedule.
Start slow. Large crowds may be too overwhelming for your dog for a while—start with some people over at your house (with a lot of treats), and go from there. Dog parks are intermediate level dogging, not beginner; they can be crowded, the play gets rough, other dogs might be jerks, etc. Start with a nice dogfriend at home, or go to the park when it’s empty and work your way up.
Sidenote: Like someone else said, dog parks aren’t something you have to do. Some dogs never really are good at dog parks. Dog parks probably aren't always so great for exercise, either, except for dogs that are super sociable and also playful. My dog gets her exercise from daily walks and runs, and we go to the dog park sometimes so the other dog owners can pet her.
Don’t push your dog past its comfort zone. This sounds counterintuitive — how else can it grow? Try to push your dog only to the edge of its comfort zone instead, and give lots of treats and positive reinforcement; growth happens when it’s still happy, not anxious or scared. This is important not only to help it make progress, but also so it never feels out of control. Scared or anxious dogs often act like mean, aggressive dogs, which people often yell at — “STOP BARKING!!!” — making the dog more terrified. Try to set your dog up for success.
Your dog does not speak English. A lot of “obedience training” is actually about training you to communicate effectively with your dog through your words, voice, and body language. Consistency is really important, even when it seems like you’ve hit a wall. Consistent exercise, regular training, and predictable routines can help a lot.
Your dog will have ups and downs. It will seem like you’re making progress, and then backslide. It’s ok. Progress isn’t a straight, upward line. Be patient with your dog, and with yourself. Good luck!
posted by joJeppson at 12:24 PM on September 8, 2015
I forgot to mention that I found hiring a dog walker who did walks with 2-3 dogs massively helpful for giving my dog confidence after I got her. Honestly, the best thing about it was getting a break from my high maintenance girl in the middle of the day! The rewards went well beyond that: she met another human she could trust, bonded with other dogs, experienced the outside world, got some exercise. I never took my dog to training classes (because I'm cheap and lazy) but the dog walker was a great boost.
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 1:16 PM on September 8, 2015
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 1:16 PM on September 8, 2015
Response by poster: We've had the dog for a week now. She's incredibly well behaved so far - hasn't touched anything in the house that isn't what we've left in her crate for her, touched noses with the cats a few times, and is generally just super quiet and chill.
The only problem I'm having with her right now is that she's afraid to go outside. I've had to carry her outside a couple times to get her to relieve herself, but she really does not want to go on walks. Once we're out, though, she's great on the leash, it's just a matter of convincing her to follow me to the door so I can put her leash on and get her out. She hasn't messed in the house at all, though, so I'm not sure what to do.
posted by backseatpilot at 8:13 AM on September 13, 2015
The only problem I'm having with her right now is that she's afraid to go outside. I've had to carry her outside a couple times to get her to relieve herself, but she really does not want to go on walks. Once we're out, though, she's great on the leash, it's just a matter of convincing her to follow me to the door so I can put her leash on and get her out. She hasn't messed in the house at all, though, so I'm not sure what to do.
posted by backseatpilot at 8:13 AM on September 13, 2015
If the pup has to traverse any stairs or steps to go outside that could be part of the fear. Even if she's cool on other stairs, sometimes dogs can be funny about steps. Other things: change in ground texture, change in floor smell, noises, maybe she saw a shadow the first time you opened the door and now the memory of that scares her...dogs can be funny sometimes and develop weird fears around things we'd never even notice.
Can you safely leave the door open for a length of time to let her explore it on her own terms? Lead a trail of treats going out of it (again I would recommend tiny bits of cheese, delicious and stinky enough to get her attention) and let her find her own way across the threshold.
posted by phunniemee at 8:25 AM on September 13, 2015
Can you safely leave the door open for a length of time to let her explore it on her own terms? Lead a trail of treats going out of it (again I would recommend tiny bits of cheese, delicious and stinky enough to get her attention) and let her find her own way across the threshold.
posted by phunniemee at 8:25 AM on September 13, 2015
Right, she's not afraid to come back though the door or have this problem when you picked her up? I think using treats idea is good, but whatever you do I wouldn't make a big deal out of it or stress her out. And not more than a few minutes at a time, hopefully with little goals she can be rewarded for. I'm sure she'll figure it out soon. She's too adorable not to!
posted by Room 641-A at 8:30 AM on September 13, 2015
posted by Room 641-A at 8:30 AM on September 13, 2015
We had a really good doorway thread here some time in the past 6? months, and you might find some tips if you can find that.
Doorways are weird, architecturally and dog-socially, because if they are looking to you for leadership they want you to go through first, but as a human with eyes in the front of your head that's really awkward, so then the dog is like "why do you want me to go first GOD THIS IS SO STRESSFUL".
My dogs and I routinely do really annoying Three Stooges routines in doorways that invariably end with me tripping over someone and slamming into the doorway and swearing and yelling, which doesn't help.
Try breaking it down into sub-tasks. Practice going to the leash-putting-on spot without opening the door, and giving treats for a sit in the proper place, put on the leash, treat, take the leash off and go back to what you were doing. Then practice doing all that and opening the door, treat. Then all that and opening the door and just stepping outside, treat.
Obviously you'll actually be going on the walks in between those practice sessions, but that's fine, it keeps it mixed up and you'll be able to tell if you're making progress.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:13 AM on September 13, 2015
Doorways are weird, architecturally and dog-socially, because if they are looking to you for leadership they want you to go through first, but as a human with eyes in the front of your head that's really awkward, so then the dog is like "why do you want me to go first GOD THIS IS SO STRESSFUL".
My dogs and I routinely do really annoying Three Stooges routines in doorways that invariably end with me tripping over someone and slamming into the doorway and swearing and yelling, which doesn't help.
Try breaking it down into sub-tasks. Practice going to the leash-putting-on spot without opening the door, and giving treats for a sit in the proper place, put on the leash, treat, take the leash off and go back to what you were doing. Then practice doing all that and opening the door, treat. Then all that and opening the door and just stepping outside, treat.
Obviously you'll actually be going on the walks in between those practice sessions, but that's fine, it keeps it mixed up and you'll be able to tell if you're making progress.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:13 AM on September 13, 2015
Response by poster: It's become a little more difficult than just getting her to go outside - I can't even get her out of her crate. She'll come downstairs first thing in the morning to relieve herself, but other than that she spends all of her time in our upstairs room in the crate. Won't come downstairs for food or anything. I feel terrible because I want to make sure she's eating and getting outside enough but she'd rather hide all day.
Yesterday she went out only twice, once at about 10:00 am and then again around 11:00 pm (I had to carry her downstairs and outside to get her to go), probably less than an hour total outside. Today she let me take her out when I woke up at 6:00, but we were only outside for about 15 minutes and she has resisted any attempt to get her out again and I'm worried she won't go outside again until tomorrow morning.
posted by backseatpilot at 5:36 PM on September 14, 2015
Yesterday she went out only twice, once at about 10:00 am and then again around 11:00 pm (I had to carry her downstairs and outside to get her to go), probably less than an hour total outside. Today she let me take her out when I woke up at 6:00, but we were only outside for about 15 minutes and she has resisted any attempt to get her out again and I'm worried she won't go outside again until tomorrow morning.
posted by backseatpilot at 5:36 PM on September 14, 2015
I would go to the vet, and then as long as everything is okay I would call a trainer. They are generally WAY cheaper than you think (I paid $60/hr for 1.5 hours at my house for assessment and her training me on what to do going forward) and it's so worth it for the sanity you get out of it.
Ask your vet for a rec, and also you can check with the rescue and/or the local humane society. The one I got was recommended by a friend, but she was also a trainer for the HS and occasionally the military.
(If you happen to be in San Diego, I have two recommendations, MeMail me.)
posted by Lyn Never at 8:28 PM on September 14, 2015
Ask your vet for a rec, and also you can check with the rescue and/or the local humane society. The one I got was recommended by a friend, but she was also a trainer for the HS and occasionally the military.
(If you happen to be in San Diego, I have two recommendations, MeMail me.)
posted by Lyn Never at 8:28 PM on September 14, 2015
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Is she trained to go outside? That may make a bit of the decision to work from home for a few days or not.
As far as social interactions, get her up to date on shots. Try one or two people at a time for intros, give them treats to give her, and let her go back to her crate if she is overwhelmed. Hold off on the dog park until you can see how she is one on one with another dog, have a friend take a puppy walk with you and your dog.
All that said, I am not a dog trainer, but have successfully been around dogs for about 30 years. She's adorable, good luck!
posted by kellyblah at 7:42 AM on September 7, 2015