Help me avoid losing my mind over work stress
September 3, 2015 10:22 PM Subscribe
Over the next month my job is going to be insane. I'm in charge of a major initiative type thing that means I will be working pretty much almost every day this month, doing things that stress me out such as leading tours, speaking in front of hundreds of people, etc. This stupid thing hasn't even begun yet and I'm losing sleep. How do I cope?
It's after 1 am here, I took a sleeping pill an hour and a half ago, and yet I was lying awake just now with my heart literally pounding while thinking about all of the things I have to do. This week has been kind of nuts getting ready, and I have to go in tomorrow, my day off, to work on some things related to this initiative, then work over the weekend. I'm already sleep deprived from stressing out about this. Even though my hours will not go over a reasonable 40 hours a week, I'm going into work for at least a few hours most days, and I think that's part of what's killing me--not having those days where I can just be away from it all and not think about it.
And the things I have to do are things that I hate. Schmoozing, leading tours, being in charge of giant events, all things that I'm not good at and which leave me absolutely exhausted. This is on top of my regular job in customer service/project management that I will be doing simultaneously.
I wish, so badly, that I could just up and find another job, but I'm clinging to this one right now because it's helping me pay off some debts and I doubt I'll ever get a job that pays this much again, especially not without the expectation that I work more than 40 hours a week.
I've tried everything I can think of to relax when I'm at home. Exercise, both vigorous and long walks through the woods. Losing myself in surfing the internet. Playing with my budget and fantasizing about all the money I'm saving. I'm trying to eat well. I'm trying, and failing, to get enough sleep. I have no energy for hobbies or to find a good book to read. I'm on edge and irritable all the time. Tiny things give me a flare of anger that comes out of nowhere. I've spent my whole evening trying to mentally escape and yet I still cannot separate myself from the stress of the day and relax enough to fall asleep.
What else can I try to relax? I realize that I'm in a mental state that is not rational, but I'm seemingly helpless to snap out of it. What is going on here? Is it ever appropriate to admit stress or burnout to one's superiors at work?
It's after 1 am here, I took a sleeping pill an hour and a half ago, and yet I was lying awake just now with my heart literally pounding while thinking about all of the things I have to do. This week has been kind of nuts getting ready, and I have to go in tomorrow, my day off, to work on some things related to this initiative, then work over the weekend. I'm already sleep deprived from stressing out about this. Even though my hours will not go over a reasonable 40 hours a week, I'm going into work for at least a few hours most days, and I think that's part of what's killing me--not having those days where I can just be away from it all and not think about it.
And the things I have to do are things that I hate. Schmoozing, leading tours, being in charge of giant events, all things that I'm not good at and which leave me absolutely exhausted. This is on top of my regular job in customer service/project management that I will be doing simultaneously.
I wish, so badly, that I could just up and find another job, but I'm clinging to this one right now because it's helping me pay off some debts and I doubt I'll ever get a job that pays this much again, especially not without the expectation that I work more than 40 hours a week.
I've tried everything I can think of to relax when I'm at home. Exercise, both vigorous and long walks through the woods. Losing myself in surfing the internet. Playing with my budget and fantasizing about all the money I'm saving. I'm trying to eat well. I'm trying, and failing, to get enough sleep. I have no energy for hobbies or to find a good book to read. I'm on edge and irritable all the time. Tiny things give me a flare of anger that comes out of nowhere. I've spent my whole evening trying to mentally escape and yet I still cannot separate myself from the stress of the day and relax enough to fall asleep.
What else can I try to relax? I realize that I'm in a mental state that is not rational, but I'm seemingly helpless to snap out of it. What is going on here? Is it ever appropriate to admit stress or burnout to one's superiors at work?
When you say "in charge", does that mean you have underlings? Can you delegate some of the stuff? Are the bosses just piling stuff on and aren't aware of your workload? Is management generally supportive or more of the "handle it" type? I think the answers will be more helpful if you could give a general idea of what sort of environment you're dealing with.
posted by Klaxon Aoooogah at 11:09 PM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Klaxon Aoooogah at 11:09 PM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]
Step back and realise that this is a time-limited issue. This is not your life; this is 30 days. Anyone can do anything for 30 days. You will survive this.
When you get up tomorrow, make lists. Empty your brain of all of the things rattling around in it by making lists, which is magical brain speak for "shut up already."
posted by DarlingBri at 11:44 PM on September 3, 2015 [12 favorites]
When you get up tomorrow, make lists. Empty your brain of all of the things rattling around in it by making lists, which is magical brain speak for "shut up already."
posted by DarlingBri at 11:44 PM on September 3, 2015 [12 favorites]
Step back and realise that this is a time-limited issue. This is not your life; this is 30 days. Anyone can do anything for 30 days. You will survive this.
This, very much this. My experience is that it is always worse before things start, when you are worried about what is coming, than it is when you are in the middle of the action and able to actually take care of things. Making lists works well for me to get things out of my head and onto paper, and reduces the late night worry-fests.
You mentioned a sleeping pill, but not an anxiety medication. There are a number of medications (eg Xanax, Lorazepam, etc) whose entire function is to calm you down in those pounding-heart, racing brain moments. Talk about this with your doctor and see if there is an appropriate medical solution. Alcohol has a sedative effect, but for me at least does not reduce anxiety in the same way and also doesn't help with sleeping issues (and, of course, shouldn't be mixed with a lot of sleeping aids, so read the warning labels carefully).
posted by Dip Flash at 5:15 AM on September 4, 2015
This, very much this. My experience is that it is always worse before things start, when you are worried about what is coming, than it is when you are in the middle of the action and able to actually take care of things. Making lists works well for me to get things out of my head and onto paper, and reduces the late night worry-fests.
You mentioned a sleeping pill, but not an anxiety medication. There are a number of medications (eg Xanax, Lorazepam, etc) whose entire function is to calm you down in those pounding-heart, racing brain moments. Talk about this with your doctor and see if there is an appropriate medical solution. Alcohol has a sedative effect, but for me at least does not reduce anxiety in the same way and also doesn't help with sleeping issues (and, of course, shouldn't be mixed with a lot of sleeping aids, so read the warning labels carefully).
posted by Dip Flash at 5:15 AM on September 4, 2015
Step back and realise that this is a time-limited issue. This is not your life; this is 30 days. Anyone can do anything for 30 days. You will survive this.
This. I've just come down from working 21 days in a row with no break (I'm self-employed). I did loads of scary stuff over those 21 days, but I got through it. So, these are my tips:
Break everything into bitesized chunks. Don't think about the big talk you have to do five days from now. Think about the phone calls you need to do this afternoon and the paperwork you need to file.
My favourite late night question to myself: "If I got out of bed, could I change anything? No? Then I'm not going to worry about it now. (Oh, and if I could actually send that scary email now, I can also do that when I get up because ir's 1am and nobody will care about the email until 9am tomorrow)." It actually works for me. Every time my brain starts churning, I shut it down with that question.
Delegate whenever/wherever possible. Buy milk? Give the neighbour a few bucks so she can grab extra milk at the store - that way you don't need to brave the store on your way home. Call in favours with friends and co-workers.
Set up a post-stress period treat. An extra day off after your big thing is done. Your favourite pizza. A trip to see your best friend. A carrot to dangle in front of you.
And realise that you will crash & burn after this month of stress. Signal that to everybody around you.
Hang in there.
posted by kariebookish at 9:36 AM on September 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
This. I've just come down from working 21 days in a row with no break (I'm self-employed). I did loads of scary stuff over those 21 days, but I got through it. So, these are my tips:
Break everything into bitesized chunks. Don't think about the big talk you have to do five days from now. Think about the phone calls you need to do this afternoon and the paperwork you need to file.
My favourite late night question to myself: "If I got out of bed, could I change anything? No? Then I'm not going to worry about it now. (Oh, and if I could actually send that scary email now, I can also do that when I get up because ir's 1am and nobody will care about the email until 9am tomorrow)." It actually works for me. Every time my brain starts churning, I shut it down with that question.
Delegate whenever/wherever possible. Buy milk? Give the neighbour a few bucks so she can grab extra milk at the store - that way you don't need to brave the store on your way home. Call in favours with friends and co-workers.
Set up a post-stress period treat. An extra day off after your big thing is done. Your favourite pizza. A trip to see your best friend. A carrot to dangle in front of you.
And realise that you will crash & burn after this month of stress. Signal that to everybody around you.
Hang in there.
posted by kariebookish at 9:36 AM on September 4, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'm in the exact same boat as you now, except that I haven't tried sleeping pills. I have an event coming up that I'm solely in charge of planning, I have to present, schmooze and I can't sleep and am soooo high-strung. Even though I'm not on sleeping pills, I have upped the alcohol intake, though, and let me NOT recommend that to you. (Even though I'm continuing to do it and am doing it as I type.)
Exercise helps me. I know you said that's not working, so what if you just work out to the point of exhaustion? Not like, I-need-to-be-hospitalized level, but just so that you can't think about anything and just sleep.
Surfing the internet, I think, is the last thing that will help you unwind. Maybe you can get into a series with really complex characters when you get home work work to get your mind off this and help you sleep.
Good luck, and we can do it!!!!
posted by Enchanting Grasshopper at 11:36 AM on September 4, 2015
Exercise helps me. I know you said that's not working, so what if you just work out to the point of exhaustion? Not like, I-need-to-be-hospitalized level, but just so that you can't think about anything and just sleep.
Surfing the internet, I think, is the last thing that will help you unwind. Maybe you can get into a series with really complex characters when you get home work work to get your mind off this and help you sleep.
Good luck, and we can do it!!!!
posted by Enchanting Grasshopper at 11:36 AM on September 4, 2015
Someone above mentioned medication - you might want to ask your doctor about beta blockers, which (unlike the benzos suggested above) are non-addictive. They're often given for anxiety, especially social anxiety, which sounds like it might be a factor in your stress. Sometimes just knowing you have them if you need them takes a load off your mind.
Meditation can be a useful tool for calming the mind when it's whirling out of control, and relaxing your body. Deep breathing especially.
Also, try not to take on the whole month at once, mentally. By the time you get to the final week, for example, you will have disposed of the need to think about 3/4 of this, and pulled the trapdoor underneath 3/4 of the stress, releasing it from your mind. I find the beginning of these kind of things are always the toughest because you're trying to hold everything, mentally. It will get easier as the month goes on.
posted by penguin pie at 11:37 AM on September 4, 2015
Meditation can be a useful tool for calming the mind when it's whirling out of control, and relaxing your body. Deep breathing especially.
Also, try not to take on the whole month at once, mentally. By the time you get to the final week, for example, you will have disposed of the need to think about 3/4 of this, and pulled the trapdoor underneath 3/4 of the stress, releasing it from your mind. I find the beginning of these kind of things are always the toughest because you're trying to hold everything, mentally. It will get easier as the month goes on.
posted by penguin pie at 11:37 AM on September 4, 2015
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posted by dvrmmr at 10:54 PM on September 3, 2015 [3 favorites]