Speed cleaning for dummies
September 3, 2015 6:45 AM   Subscribe

Omg, AskMe! I have a very important visitor coming over for dinner tonight. The house is reasonably tidy but I haven't cleaned cleaned in . . . a while. I will have about an hour between dinner prep and guest arrival; what high-impact cleaning tasks should I blitz through to make it SEEM like I am a Clean Person?

Obviously I will wipe down flat surfaces and run the vacuum, but that just brings us to not-dirty. I don't have time for a deep clean of the whole house, so where should I focus my attention? Really clean one room, maybe the bathroom? Do a couple extra things - dusting? Baseboards? I don't know - to every room the guest will be in?

Basically - what are the things, little or big, that you notice when you step into someone's home and form your first impression of Clean or Not Clean? What are the highest-efficiency (time:impact) cleaning tasks you do when people are coming? What's your checklist for being party-ready, is there a lite version for time crunches?

THANK YOU!
posted by peachfuzz to Home & Garden (26 answers total) 32 users marked this as a favorite
 
Wipe down the toilet and scrub the bowl with the brush. If you have toilet cleaner, squirt some in the bowl 15 minutes before you do this (do something else in the meantime, like wipe down the bathroom sink). If you don't have toilet cleaner, don't sweat it. Just use the brush to scrub the ring at the edge of the water line in the toilet bowl. Wipe dust and pee drips off the rest of the toilet.

Also wipe down the bathroom sink (get the toothpaste dribbles out, for example). You can shine the faucet and handles with a dry cloth in about ten seconds. That adds some sparkle that draws the eye and says Clean!

If that bathroom has a shower and it's icky, close the curtain or shower door. Put out a clean towel for the guest.

This should take about ten minutes of your hour, and is worthwhile.
posted by telepanda at 6:54 AM on September 3, 2015 [18 favorites]


Bathroom, for sure. It's the one room where people are sitting up-close to the grind and really notice. I'd not bother with the floor, but definitely scrub the sink and outside of the toilet, and Windex the mirror and any glass. Replace towels with fresh ones. If you have a shower curtain, close it.
posted by iminurmefi at 6:54 AM on September 3, 2015 [2 favorites]


Yeah, I would definitely focus most of my time on the bathroom.
posted by 256 at 6:55 AM on September 3, 2015


Unfuck Your Habitat has a great Emergency Cleaning plan just for this purpose. As a visitor to someone's home the most important thing to me is that the bathroom is clean.
posted by Mouse Army at 6:55 AM on September 3, 2015 [14 favorites]


I have a laundry basket that is just for The Junk I Need To Clear Out Of The Living Room when guests come. Clutter is really easy to spot, but also easy to hide! I bring it into the basement. Occasionally, I'll forget it's in the basement for a long time, then I get to throw it away!
posted by xingcat at 6:56 AM on September 3, 2015 [4 favorites]


Wipe down everything in the bathroom, especially toilet bowl, base of toilet, and inside of sink.

If you don't routinely wipe down kitchen counters, backsplash, and stove top, do that too.

Beyond that, you will probably get more bang from decluttering than from cleaning -- so do a thorough walk-through for any Monica corners where you may no longer be seeing the clutter.
posted by pie ninja at 6:56 AM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


Empty the trash bin in the bathroom, too.

The other place that probably makes an impression is your entryway. Take a few minutes to declutter and/or stash things in a closet or bedroom. If the guest sees a tidy space when they first walk in the door they'll assume everything else is neat, too.
posted by TwoStride at 6:59 AM on September 3, 2015


Also candles and low lighting are your friend. Candles in a bathroom look so pretty. Do clean of course but don't be afraid to play with lighting.
posted by biggreenplant at 7:00 AM on September 3, 2015 [2 favorites]


Definitely the bathroom, but I'm always a fan of quick-wiping light switch plates because they get smudgy.
posted by kimberussell at 7:05 AM on September 3, 2015


The other place that probably makes an impression is your entryway.

If you have any rugs in lower-traffic places, move them into the entryway. We don't usually notice how worn out the carpet/floor is right next to our front door, but it is, and a newish rug will do wonders. Just make sure it's not in the way of the door.
posted by Etrigan at 7:06 AM on September 3, 2015


Minimise dust in whatever room your guest is staying in, especially if they have asthma or allergies! I've stayed in rooms that were so dusty my eyes nearly swelled shut by morning o_0
posted by greenish at 7:07 AM on September 3, 2015


I'd also consider smell and general freshness of air. It's often easy to overlook a slightly funky odour or stale air in your own home just because you're used to it.

Open the windows for a couple of hours, then light some scented candles for a bit. Empty all bins and put out.
posted by Dext at 7:09 AM on September 3, 2015 [6 favorites]


Open doors and windows to get fresh air in. If the air conditioning's on, light a candle or boil something nice smelling that you have lying around (cinnamon sticks? lemon peel? Few drops of essential oil?) & rotate the pot around when you are cleaning.

If you have plants, water them and grab any dead leaves -- it always surprises me how much they immediately perk up.

When you are vacuuming, don't forget the sofa.
posted by veery at 7:10 AM on September 3, 2015 [3 favorites]


Me, I'd split a "deeper clean" hour between the bathroom and the kitchen/dining area. Make sure sink, stool and floors around them in the bathroom are sparkling, close curtain/door on the shower and hang fresh towels. Then head to the kitchen and scout for fingerprints and grime on appliances, spatters on walls and back-splash, and grunge in the corners of floors. Wipe down the sink and shine up the faucet. Since you're cooking, fresh mess is totally acceptable, but old grime can raise hygiene worries.

Have a good time and remember, your guest is coming to see you, not your house.
posted by peakcomm at 7:26 AM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


Make sure there is no spoiled food or drinks in the fridge...I speak from experience :)
posted by Fallbala at 7:38 AM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


Open all your windows to air out the place.

Make your bed.

Clean any toilets and sinks/basins.

Empty all rubbish bins.

Wipe down the kitchen table and kitchen benches.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 7:51 AM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


Use the timer on your phone. Set it for ten minutes and do everything listed above in your bathroom in that time, as fast as you can. You'll be surprised at how much you can get done if you're racing a timer to finish. After the time ends, move to the kitchen. Set the timer again for ten minutes and clean up as much as you can. Stop at the end of ten and move to the living room, etc. When you've moved through all the rooms your guest will see and you still have time left, go back to the kitchen and clean until you run out of time.

You will be shocked at how much will be accomplished at the end of an hour!
posted by raisingsand at 7:58 AM on September 3, 2015 [2 favorites]


I've got to vote against low lighting --- I tried that a couple times as a kid, but when Dad made his inspection rounds to check if I'd cleaned my room (yeah, military brat here....) one thing he told me was that bright lights are actually better at hiding missed spots, because they'll make anything that is shiny sparkle. Shiny and sparkly automatically = clean.

*Empty all trash cans, including in the bathroom.
*In the bathroom: scrub toilet & sink, wipe down walls, close the shower curtain. Put on a new full roll of TP. Hang clean towels, neatly folded.
*In the living room: remove magazines/newspapers and other paper; display books neatly. If you have bookshelves there, make sure they're neat and don't look like catchalls for odd bits of junk. (Use something like a laundry basket: just sweep all that odd stuff in there, and hide the whole basket in your bedroom. Don't worry about putting it all in a 'proper' place!)
*Close your bedroom door! Make the bed maybe, but leave the lights completely off in there and close the door.
*Get something like pre-made or frozen dinner rolls: bake them in time to produce that lovely baking aroma. Simmering cinnamon in water will also help.
*If you're going to a grocery store anyway, pick up a couple of those cheapish flower bouquets, for a simple but lavish-looking touch.
posted by easily confused at 8:14 AM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


1. Throw open the windows. (Don't light candles or use other scented crap, that only works if your guest likes them and is torture if they don't or are sensitive to artificial scents.)
2. Run around sweeping all the clutter into paper bags and chuck the bags in your bedroom closet.
3. Scrub the bathroom sink and toilet and clean the mirror, wipe up the floor, and close the shower curtain. Brand new roll of toilet paper, fresh towels.
4. Vacuum
5. Empty all trash
6. Spend all the rest of the time making the kitchen and dining area as clean as possible.
posted by HotToddy at 8:23 AM on September 3, 2015 [3 favorites]


In addition to the bathroom I'd spend a few minutes dusting the obvious surfaces/base boards in the dining/living room. And wipe down the handle areas of doors of kitchen cabinets/fridge etc, if there's any danger that your guest will help themselves to a drink or try to be helpful and help with doing the dishes.
posted by koahiatamadl at 8:23 AM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


If you have an hour, Google the phrase FlyLady Crisis Cleaning. You will find a Blogtalk Radio program. Listen to this on your phone. I have done this a many of time when I want to get my house presentable and I don't have time. It's motivating, if a little cheesy, and she walks you through it. Sometimes I will pause the program and it takes me an hour and 15 minutes, but it's quick.

Kitchen and bathroom should be spic and span. Pay attention to entry/foyer area since this is a first impression area. Everyone else has given good advice.
posted by Fairchild at 8:35 AM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


As a person who lives in a cave, I promise low lighting works, but do sit down where the person is going to be sitting (to the best of your ability) to see what they'll be staring at. Clean all minor grossness (stacks of junk, dust under furniture/on baseboards, etc) in line of sight.

Do the same on the toilet. You never notice those weird spatters of...what is that, makeup? Dog drool? Condensation mixed with dust? on the wall until someone has just been in there staring at them for 30-90 seconds.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:42 AM on September 3, 2015 [6 favorites]


Sit on the toliet with the bathroom door closed - you'll see the gunk that accumulates behind the door
posted by tilde at 12:39 PM on September 3, 2015


Look for cobwebs and get rid of them.
posted by jgirl at 3:26 PM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


Hide clutter. Vacuum everything including the couch, cobwebs, baseboards, kitchen and bathroom floor, and bathtub (do the wet areas last). Then use a spray cleaner to wipe all the benchtops, toilet, bath and the grimiest bits of any non-carpet floor (use the bath mat and then tossing it in the wash for the floor). With a wet cloth, wipe away any dust on objects at eyelevel when standing or sitting. Clean the bathroom mirror.
posted by kjs4 at 6:39 PM on September 3, 2015


Response by poster: Hey thanks guys! I used my hour to get the bathroom EXTRA SUPER DUPER CLEAN and to shine up the kitchen a little. Great tips!
posted by peachfuzz at 3:14 PM on September 4, 2015 [3 favorites]


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