Looking for a laidback method for keeping my shit together
August 20, 2015 12:54 PM Subscribe
I tend to be a high anxiety perfectionist and for many many years have "organized" my life with elaborate to-do lists and systems for recurring tasks. Recently, I started getting into minimalism and decided at the beginning of this year when I couldn't find a planner I liked to just go cold turkey and try to live my life without a to do list.
I instantly felt so much better - like I was actually living my life and paying attention to things and people rather than always being stressed about the checking off the next thing on my list. If I saw something that needed to be done I did it and then effing relaxed.
The only problem was, I did sometimes forget things that were important but not right in front of me for whatever reason, like ordering my dog's meds or reserving a car for an upcoming vacation.
So, I am wondering: is there a middle way? Something that will help me remember the important things I tend to forget but not tempt me to overplan my life?
I find what I need help with are the little but important things that I tend to forget. So a reminder app is perfect. I have monthly reminders for the dog's medicine. I add things that I think of one place and need to go in another (like a phone call that I might forget to make).
So, last night in bed, i thought of three phone calls that I needed to make today and made reminders. All of them are checked off. If something is still hovering on the list after a day or two, i ask myself it really needs to be done - do or don't do but don't let it hang out on your list making you feel guilty or stressed.
If I'm working on a big project and need to get organized or I have need to really plan out my day, I use other systems - this is just for making things get into my head when I need them.
posted by metahawk at 1:09 PM on August 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
So, last night in bed, i thought of three phone calls that I needed to make today and made reminders. All of them are checked off. If something is still hovering on the list after a day or two, i ask myself it really needs to be done - do or don't do but don't let it hang out on your list making you feel guilty or stressed.
If I'm working on a big project and need to get organized or I have need to really plan out my day, I use other systems - this is just for making things get into my head when I need them.
posted by metahawk at 1:09 PM on August 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Hi, I'm also an anxious perfectionist.
I would avoid anything that is a grand, sweeping system or otherwise designed to organize all the things. I think those are likely to lead you back into over-organized hell.
Like metahawk, I suggest reminder apps. I use two: Dosecast (which I use for reminders about medications and vitamins) and Reminders (the built-in app on my iPhone - I use this for everything that isn't covered by Dosecast). Works out great for me. I use Evernote when I'm working on big projects that require me to have lots of documents close at hand.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 1:15 PM on August 20, 2015
I would avoid anything that is a grand, sweeping system or otherwise designed to organize all the things. I think those are likely to lead you back into over-organized hell.
Like metahawk, I suggest reminder apps. I use two: Dosecast (which I use for reminders about medications and vitamins) and Reminders (the built-in app on my iPhone - I use this for everything that isn't covered by Dosecast). Works out great for me. I use Evernote when I'm working on big projects that require me to have lots of documents close at hand.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 1:15 PM on August 20, 2015
Trello's great, but it sounds like you're trying to avoid that sort of hyper-managed system?
If so, and if you use Gmail, take the time to switch to Inbox. You can set up reminders by sending yourself a little note set to arrive at a certain date, time, or even place. So, if you remember now that you should probably book a car for that vacation sometime two months from now, set a reminder that says "book car" to come in at 9AM two months from now. Then you've dealt it with it, and you can let it float away from your brain, leaving you free to focus on other things. You can also set up recurring reminders, for things like the dog's meds or your own checkups.
posted by AmandaA at 1:18 PM on August 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
If so, and if you use Gmail, take the time to switch to Inbox. You can set up reminders by sending yourself a little note set to arrive at a certain date, time, or even place. So, if you remember now that you should probably book a car for that vacation sometime two months from now, set a reminder that says "book car" to come in at 9AM two months from now. Then you've dealt it with it, and you can let it float away from your brain, leaving you free to focus on other things. You can also set up recurring reminders, for things like the dog's meds or your own checkups.
posted by AmandaA at 1:18 PM on August 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
Throw things into Google calendar to email you alerts/show up on your phone.
posted by Gin and Broadband at 1:20 PM on August 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Gin and Broadband at 1:20 PM on August 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
Best answer: what about a small chalkboard/dry erase board? you can keep the recurring ones on it while changing others. i think something not digital and limited in size could keep you from expanding it into another huge list system like you used to have.
posted by monologish at 1:26 PM on August 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by monologish at 1:26 PM on August 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
Yeah I just set these things in my calendar or reminders. So if I have an appointment on Tuesday, then an alert goes off on Monday evening and on Tuesday a few hours before the appointment. I set these things when I book them or think about them, then don't worry about it till then. Same for "Pay X bill" or "Book X thing." I just put it in my calendar or ask Siri to remind me. Then I don't have to think about it until I get the reminder.
posted by Crystalinne at 1:32 PM on August 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Crystalinne at 1:32 PM on August 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
Your phone's calendar is great for the "important, but not right in front of you" things. Especially recurring ones like your dog's medication, or my mortgage payments.
posted by Kreiger at 1:32 PM on August 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Kreiger at 1:32 PM on August 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
yeah, i have a whiteboard in a corner for things like doctors appts and my "fun things to do one day" list.
i also use email as a notebook and jotter - send emails to myself, or draft out documents in emails. that works well because i have awesome search for email (it's my own, but gmail is similarly good) and an awesome editor in my email client.
posted by andrewcooke at 1:32 PM on August 20, 2015
i also use email as a notebook and jotter - send emails to myself, or draft out documents in emails. that works well because i have awesome search for email (it's my own, but gmail is similarly good) and an awesome editor in my email client.
posted by andrewcooke at 1:32 PM on August 20, 2015
Yes! I was just going to say: a SMALL whiteboard will limit the number of things you can possibly assign yourself. At some point, you've got to erase something to fit something else on there.
posted by fiercecupcake at 1:40 PM on August 20, 2015
posted by fiercecupcake at 1:40 PM on August 20, 2015
Best answer: I vacillate a lot between various systems and periodically run into the problem you're describing (needing some kind of reminder system, but not one that facilitates turning every life experience into a to-do list item). Point being: I hear you!
The two likely-cliche-for-MeFi ways I've found effective for reducing this schedule/task/anxiety:
• Trying to not *casually* check my to-do list or phone (including Twitter, email, etc.). Being somewhat more purposeful about "checking things" has made a more significant difference than I expected, and it hasn't been that hard to maintain (YMMV).
• Paying some attention how I'm thinking when I look at my to-do list. For example, when I check my list at 6 pm one night and see "call doctor x," "call veterinarian z," and "send package," do I think "Ugh all of this crap to do" or "Hopefully I can get this done quickly and then move on to XYZ enjoyable thing?" Trying to catch myself in the former thought pattern and redirect has been really helpful for feeling less stressed by my to-do list (enough so that I can keep one!).
In terms of my current organizational system, I've found this to be a good middle way between unsustainable over-systemization and total chaos:
• An online work calendar for appointments, meetings, and major deadlines, with reminders. I add important personal ones because I don't like maintaining multiple calendars. (This way I don't worry about being caught off-guard by upcoming scheduled/timed things.)
• A Simplenote document in which I keep a daily/ongoing personal reminders list (e.g. return package to Zappos), and occasional longer-term things (call this dr within 6 months). I'll add things to it throughout the day as they occur to me, but I try not to check it that often. I usually review it during the start of my commute, so I can (e.g.) stop by the grocery store on my walk home from the train. Once I'm home for the evening, though, I try not to check it.
• On a day to day basis at work, I usually write up a paper to-do list after looking at my calendar for the next week or so and going back to recent meeting notes. Paper lists feel more ephemeral (perhaps because I lose them!) and they somehow don't produce the same level of schedule/anxiety as a comprehensive digital list.
posted by brackish.line at 1:48 PM on August 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
The two likely-cliche-for-MeFi ways I've found effective for reducing this schedule/task/anxiety:
• Trying to not *casually* check my to-do list or phone (including Twitter, email, etc.). Being somewhat more purposeful about "checking things" has made a more significant difference than I expected, and it hasn't been that hard to maintain (YMMV).
• Paying some attention how I'm thinking when I look at my to-do list. For example, when I check my list at 6 pm one night and see "call doctor x," "call veterinarian z," and "send package," do I think "Ugh all of this crap to do" or "Hopefully I can get this done quickly and then move on to XYZ enjoyable thing?" Trying to catch myself in the former thought pattern and redirect has been really helpful for feeling less stressed by my to-do list (enough so that I can keep one!).
In terms of my current organizational system, I've found this to be a good middle way between unsustainable over-systemization and total chaos:
• An online work calendar for appointments, meetings, and major deadlines, with reminders. I add important personal ones because I don't like maintaining multiple calendars. (This way I don't worry about being caught off-guard by upcoming scheduled/timed things.)
• A Simplenote document in which I keep a daily/ongoing personal reminders list (e.g. return package to Zappos), and occasional longer-term things (call this dr within 6 months). I'll add things to it throughout the day as they occur to me, but I try not to check it that often. I usually review it during the start of my commute, so I can (e.g.) stop by the grocery store on my walk home from the train. Once I'm home for the evening, though, I try not to check it.
• On a day to day basis at work, I usually write up a paper to-do list after looking at my calendar for the next week or so and going back to recent meeting notes. Paper lists feel more ephemeral (perhaps because I lose them!) and they somehow don't produce the same level of schedule/anxiety as a comprehensive digital list.
posted by brackish.line at 1:48 PM on August 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
When there is something that I must do by a particular time or at a particular place, I say "Ok Google, remind me to whatever at whenever or wherever" and then my phone reminds me. The reminders show up in the Inbox app (they are also accessible elsewhere in the system, but the Inbox integration is fantastic), so I can get a list on the rare occasion that is necessary. Needless to say, this particular method only works if you have an Android device.
Most things in my life can be done whenever I get around to them, so my to-do list remains small. I do make lists for things like groceries or work tasks, but that's pretty much it.
posted by wierdo at 1:59 PM on August 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Most things in my life can be done whenever I get around to them, so my to-do list remains small. I do make lists for things like groceries or work tasks, but that's pretty much it.
posted by wierdo at 1:59 PM on August 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
I use Wunderlist. I think it has some fancy options but mostly I use it as a to-do list with reminders and where I can add notes if I want. I like that it syncs between iPhone, mac app, and web page. I was also completely happy with Reminders on the mac/iphone except that it didn't sync well in my experience, and I liked being able to type something on the laptop and later see it on my phone.
posted by 2 cats in the yard at 3:38 PM on August 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by 2 cats in the yard at 3:38 PM on August 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
I put a reminder on google calendar for this purpose. Very simple and low key. And it's not a to-do list, so it shouldn't cause temptation to add regular to-do items to it.
posted by zug at 4:31 PM on August 20, 2015
posted by zug at 4:31 PM on August 20, 2015
I agree that a combination of techniques is best. Putting anything time related in my Google calendar means I don't have to worry about it until the time I'm ready to deal with it so I can set it and forget it. A relatively short paper to-do list that gets rewritten about once a week is a chance for me to review my schedule and think about what I can reasonably get done, and I can note addresses of stores I need to stop by, questions for doctor appointments, etc. Lastly I have a couple of lists up in key locations using dry erase tape. It's fun! Grocery list on the fridge, quick reminders list by the door. They're basically invisible when there's nothing on them, but handy for noting things as I think of them. I've tried all kinds of fancier tech-based systems, but always seem to come back to this (though the dry erase tape is a new addition).
posted by rafaella gabriela sarsaparilla at 4:56 PM on August 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by rafaella gabriela sarsaparilla at 4:56 PM on August 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
Add some good things to the to do list as well? Like "pick up favourite flowers", "take half hour break with latte and new magazine", "Call friend XYZ" so that your list is something you can see as a mix of good and necessary.
Labels help enormously to reframe this - folders on my desktop are called "The good messy place for creative work", "@Finished projects (good job!)" and other twee things.
If it's routine daily things, the iPhone app Balance is nice for positive gentle reinforcements.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 7:01 PM on August 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
Labels help enormously to reframe this - folders on my desktop are called "The good messy place for creative work", "@Finished projects (good job!)" and other twee things.
If it's routine daily things, the iPhone app Balance is nice for positive gentle reinforcements.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 7:01 PM on August 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
What I do for those important/regular events that I don't want/need in check box form - like ordering meds for the pets - is have a regular old fashioned wall calendar. I make a note of when those important dates are...and also adorable photos of kittens on the calendar!!! Pretty darn relaxing.
posted by Toddles at 7:26 PM on August 20, 2015
posted by Toddles at 7:26 PM on August 20, 2015
I love the phone reminder apps (I use Tick Tick), because it puts Task XY totally out of my head until the time for the reminder comes. I'm always afraid I'm going to forget to call this person or start the laundry or give the cats their monthly meds, so it's just programmed into the phone. I just tell it to remind me when I actually want to do the thing.
It also drives me batty to have extra notifications showing up in the notification panel, so I'm pretty good about either doing Thing immediately or snoozing it rather than letting it sit, staring at me unanswered.
posted by getawaysticks at 8:13 AM on August 21, 2015
It also drives me batty to have extra notifications showing up in the notification panel, so I'm pretty good about either doing Thing immediately or snoozing it rather than letting it sit, staring at me unanswered.
posted by getawaysticks at 8:13 AM on August 21, 2015
I really like habitica for this. I can't manage to keep any of the more complicated to-do systems organized, but habitica is super simple (but you can set due dates, recurring tasks, and reminders for things you want to do more often but not on any set schedule). I also find the app's system of collecting digital "pets" as rewards compelling enough to remember to check it daily.
posted by snaw at 8:59 AM on August 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by snaw at 8:59 AM on August 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
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Let me be quick about it and recommend Trello.
"How To Organize Your Entire Life With Trello" is a great beginner's guide.
You can even use it to create a Vision Board and keep an eye on your big rock goals.
For you, you might just want to use it to create a Kanban system.
Web/iPhone/Android all sync to keep you all neat and tidy.
posted by Major Matt Mason Dixon at 1:01 PM on August 20, 2015 [17 favorites]