Getting organized, high school edition
August 12, 2015 6:09 AM   Subscribe

I am trying to find resources to help a 10th grader who is bright and creative but with extremely poor executive skills get organized, specifically for the challenges of high school (but, as a side effect, hopefully with carryover to other domains of life...).

Years of trying to help kid with organization skills have mostly fallen flat. Phones, screens, high school dramas have made it worse. Months with an ADD focused CBT therapist were not helpful for this specific kid. Having a 504 plan was NOT helpful and was actually harmful in certain ways for this kid who has been bullied -- this would not be true for everyone and I don't want to discourage people from seeking IEP or 504 plans, but here, the teachers were indiscreet about it and he was singled out, even after teachers were repeatedly told by principal not to announce "KID NEEDS SPECIAL REMINDER!" in class, making other kids "help" him, etc. and it had social effects -- so he refuses to have that in place again and I agree, it was not helpful anyway. He also has anxiety and they therefore won't give him speed-based ADD drugs, and he had a horrible reaction to another non-speed one. Upsettingly, our psychiatric nurse practitioner has quit and the only child psychiatrist in town is TERRIBLE. Right now he is getting medication for anxiety from his GP and trying different combinations would not be terribly precise. Maybe we can go to a larger city for this. But for this question I would like to focus primarily on behavior help.

The current regime is going through his school backpack stuff with him and helping him organize it every night. But things are still regularly lost, or he doesn't know what the hw is because he forgot to write it down. The teachers are supposed to post it online but they often just don't do it. Or they post it, but kid has lost the sheet that was handed out in class, or forgot to bring his book home...

We have had a private tutor who made things neater when they came but was not helpful for developing his skills on his own. We are in a town with *very* limited psychological/therapy options, though there is a major university with a large education program. Writing to them didn't help produce a good tutor for this a few years ago, though I am going to try again.

Now I am wondering if anyone has used Sylvan specifically for organization skills? We went for an initial intake and they say they can help with this, but I am skeptical because a) it seems more geared towards reading and math skills and b) the teachers at our local Sylvan are grad students in unrelated fields like performing arts, who seem to be doing this job part time instead of working at Starbucks. But maybe they have some set Sylvan techniques, like making a latte with a set of corporate procedures, and it will help anyway. My question: Have you used Sylvan for organization help and if so was it good? And did you/do you have any other suggestions for home behavioral help for a teen with executive function/ADD type challenges? Or for finding a tutor to help with this other than craigslist? Thank you. Anecdotes as well as info are welcome.
posted by anonymous to Education (8 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
 
As an adult that struggles with the same things I would suggest a checklist, maybe on the inside our outside of a binder, with a short list of things to make sure of before leaving school. It could even just be a list of questions to ask himself

Do I know what the hw is?
Do I have everything I need for that hw?
etc

It seems like he has all the support he needs from you at home and just needs a system to cover the transition from one structured environment to another.
posted by deadwater at 7:44 AM on August 12, 2015 [1 favorite]


One of my kids is ADHD-PI. We're looking into a study program at a local place that tutors various subjects as well as study skills.

Oh, I'm encouraging her in MS to take a pic of each class's board where the homework is written down.
posted by heathrowga at 7:46 AM on August 12, 2015


Maybe try this book?
posted by o0dano0o at 9:53 AM on August 12, 2015


Can you set up a phone alarm that is synced with the end of every class period? It could be a reminder to take down hw notes or go through a checklist. I am naturally anxious and forgetful, and I set alarms for stuff like "now is a good time to brush your teeth" and "leave for the 6:15 train" and "remember to call the guy about the thing TODAY" and ten minutes later, "did you call the guy?"

I also make a list of everything I have to do the next day before I go to bed, down to "get up, 530, pee, brush teeth and hair, get dressed (shoes, earrings, glasses, wallet, keys), check bag for supplies, leave house 550, train, school, cataloging first period, 2nd period class, third period call about laminating...." I find it calming and it's saved my ass repeatedly when I wake up in the morning having forgotten all my obligations somehow when I get a morning urge for, like, waffles.

Ask around for friends your kid can call to check on the homework. Find someone in every class. Ideally these would be friends, but you may have to ask anyone friendly and bribe them with candy or something. I did this for a while in high school, and it was nice to bounce ideas off each other in addition to helpful in getting the notes for that day. It would be better if the teacher would just make a damn syllabus saying what is due when prior to the semester, but they don't really do that in high school for some reason.

Also, if forgetting textbooks is a problem, your school can probably get you a second set for home use. If your kid has a learning plan already, they may be legally required to help you out with this. In California, we have the Williams Act which mandates that students have access to books issued to them for home use, and backups for school use (or at least that's how our district is functionally interpreting this-- I issue a lot of second sets to kids who travel between different homes and who have known forgetfulness problems, and it's no big deal.)
posted by blnkfrnk at 10:40 AM on August 12, 2015 [1 favorite]


I am the kid, 23 years on, and back in school to finally finish my degree. I still have major issues similar to theirs, but here is what has helped me. Adderall first and foremost- it actually has made me *less* anxious because I don't feel as overwhelmed and worried that I can't do what I need to do. Trying to minimize any paper I take- I often use my iphone to take pictures of handouts or notes so I won't lose them. I also have a three ring binder that only has folders in it where I put papers for each class (I must remember to actually do this though, and I don't always.) I also use my iphone to snap pictures of powerpoints or notes on the board so I can refer back to them. I try and always get an email of someone in the class who I can check in with if I have a question, and I also will email my professors. I have moved to online textbooks, but for my daughter who has similar issues but no option for online text, I purchased a second set of textbooks to keep at home.

The one thing I would say though, that is hard to hear, is that you can spend all the money in the world, and come up with an insane amount of ideas, tools and products to help the kid, but if they don't want to do it- nothing is going to make them. I say this from years of buying things to try and help myself. I forced myself to make a system when I went back to school, and it is working for me, but recently when a friend asked me to help her child, I said I would show them what I do but he needs to see if they are things he can commit to.
posted by momochan at 11:06 AM on August 12, 2015 [1 favorite]


Hi, I am sorry your family is going through this. I could have written your post about our son a few years back. After nearly two years of chaos in approaching middle-school and after a bunch of organizational tips and schedules and supports at school and home with tutors, we did ultimately try meds (Focalin) in 8th grade (he decided he wanted to try them) and this helped enormously with his willingness to work and his interest in work.
But loss of sleep and appetite made it unsustainable for the long run and so he stopped in the summer before 9th grade as he entered highschool and has stayed off. He wanted to try HS without meds-- new context, etc. And things did shift someā€”not consistently, but they shifted enough to manage most of 9th grade just fine.
We lowered grade expectations A LOT, and we lowered hard-work expectations A LOT, just so he could get some breathing room and see if any resulting stress reduction would chill the ADHD symptoms. As the 9g drew to a close he started dropping balls again. But he'd matured psychologically in that year from 8th to 9th and had gained some confidence. So even as he was academically tanking for a bit at the end, it was retrievable.
Here, I'm responding to you mainly to share these opinions/thoughts:
1) Aging can shift things in ways that might be small, but impactful in terms of quality of life;
2) One HUGE thing we did in the last few years was introduce him to meditation through an awesome, secular teen/young adult meditation summer camp, iBme. iBme (Inward Bound Mindfulness Education) hikes into the wilderness and the kids learn to meditate and explore in the wild. (I read somewhere that there may be something about greenery--about being in nature-- that helps ADHD. Something to do with fractals... I think....) Anyway, he loved camp and is attending his second retreat this year. He also sometimes meditates with a local teen group.
3) The anxiety may be (and you probably know this) related to his academic struggles. It's hard w ADHD and kids because they become the "identified patient" in the family, as the family of course is involved. I think this is one of the aspects I look back on and wish I'd done a little differently. I wish I'd taken a lighter hand--just sort of not letting the house and my energy revolve too much around his school life. I'm not saying that I'm reading that same aspect into your situation, but I just thought I'd share that part from this vantage point of his shifting with natural maturation.
Best wishes,
posted by seaward at 3:14 PM on August 12, 2015 [1 favorite]


Both my sons had executive function issues when they were younger.

We did not go the drug route. I was seeing studies that nutrional supplements did more, and without the drug side effects. I even found a suggested vitamin protocol online (for aspies, iirc), mostly some extra B vitamins. I had my oldest son take it for like a year. This was very helpful. I probably still have notes somewhere if you want some specifics on that. My oldest is 28. To this day, when he gets too wonky, I try to get more b vitamins in him and it typically makes a big difference.

My oldest is a kinetic learner and one of the side effects of that is that he has good muscle memory. So, routine was his friend. If we developed a good routine, he was so much more functional because it didn't matter how much of a spaz he was, things happened by habit. This approach also worked well with my father when he had Alzheimer's. So if you can somehow help him develop routines surrounding bringing home homework or whatever, that may help.

My son is also very visual and there is research into this. These people are pilers, not filers, and tend to look real disorganized. I am also a piler, not a filer, and I was very organized but did not look it. So I was sympathetic to his issues. If this applies to your child, there are techniques that can help enormously. You can assume "out of sight, out of mind" and try to make things more transparent. Open storage, color coding, clear containers. Consider a clear backpack. I can probably still find online resources related to this if you think it fits your kid.

My son is hugely distracted by noise. Arranging for our household and lives to be quieter really helped him function better by a very noticeable amount. His desk was in the living room and the TV was right behind him and really drove him nuts. During my divorce, we moved the TV out of the living room and into the master bedroom and let his dad have the TV. The living room became quieter. This made such a huge difference in my son's functionality and behavior that I was kicking myself for not doing it sooner.
posted by Michele in California at 4:09 PM on August 12, 2015 [2 favorites]


Lists and absolute routine. Assume that if it takes a non-ADHD person X amount of time to learn a routine, it will take the ADHD person 3-5 times as long. Once they've GOT the routine, you're generally good, at least until you need to change it.

Problem is, public school appears to do routine - but as you've discovered - doesn't really stick to their routines firmly enough or long enough for the ADHD student to really get it.

I have one very-ADHD child - a senior this year - and standard public school just simply does NOT work well for him, and it wouldn't matter what we do, it's NOT going to. However, he's capable of doing of getting As and Bs in either a public school at home or homeschool atmosphere. The only classes in standard public school that he even sorta did well in were those where the teacher was supremely organized and stayed on top of the class themselves, and ran their classroom in a very predictable fashion. Small (less than 10-15) class sizes also were better than large (20-30).

Even my son finally realized that it was in his best interest not to remain in standard public school, despite wanting to be there to socialize. (He's now discovered that he has far more time with his friends when he isn't spending his evenings trying to barely pass his classes.)

He started a job in June, and surprisingly, he hasn't had the same difficulties. While work seems to be all busy and ever-changing, this job really isn't. The expectations are the same from shift to shift, and he's doing an excellent job meeting and exceeding them.
posted by stormyteal at 8:21 PM on August 12, 2015 [2 favorites]


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