What is a good, secular, reading for an outdoor wedding?
July 27, 2015 10:10 AM Subscribe
Friends are getting married and have asked me to select a reading for the wedding. What are some good readings for weddings? (This will not be a religious wedding.)
Some possible relevant details:
* They are both outdoorsy people.
* They both love music, in most of its variety from Joni Mitchell to Gangstarr to Paul McCartney to high minded compositional stuff.
* There is a certain California-ness to their relationship, though the wedding is elsewhere.
* They are both writers, an artist and a journalist.
* They are food people.
* They are both extremely kind hearted and good people.
On the whole, picture late 30s coastal Americans of a somewhat left of center bent. The wedding will be a destination wedding outdoors, over the course of a few days.
Some possible relevant details:
* They are both outdoorsy people.
* They both love music, in most of its variety from Joni Mitchell to Gangstarr to Paul McCartney to high minded compositional stuff.
* There is a certain California-ness to their relationship, though the wedding is elsewhere.
* They are both writers, an artist and a journalist.
* They are food people.
* They are both extremely kind hearted and good people.
On the whole, picture late 30s coastal Americans of a somewhat left of center bent. The wedding will be a destination wedding outdoors, over the course of a few days.
Depending how old they are, the lyrics to Led Zeppelin's Thank You has a hippie vibe and a nature bent.
posted by jessamyn at 10:16 AM on July 27, 2015
posted by jessamyn at 10:16 AM on July 27, 2015
One of the readings from one of my cousins' weddings was from "Oh, The Places You'll Go!" by Dr. Seuss. No one was expecting it, and it was the only time I've been at a wedding when one of the readings got a round of applause.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:20 AM on July 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:20 AM on July 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
Conversation between Pooh and Christopher Robin:
"Pooh, when I'm --- you know --- when I'm not doing Nothing, will you be here sometimes?
"Just me?"
"Yes, Pooh."
"Will you be here too?"
"Yes, Pooh, I will be, really. I promise I will be, Pooh."
"That's good," said Pooh.
"Pooh, promise you won't forget about me, ever. Not even when I'm a hundred."
Pooh thought for a little.
"How old shall I be then?"
"Ninety-nine."
Pooh nodded.
"I promise," he said.
Conversation between Pooh and Piglet:
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
"Pooh!" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
posted by mcstayinskool at 10:24 AM on July 27, 2015 [4 favorites]
"Pooh, when I'm --- you know --- when I'm not doing Nothing, will you be here sometimes?
"Just me?"
"Yes, Pooh."
"Will you be here too?"
"Yes, Pooh, I will be, really. I promise I will be, Pooh."
"That's good," said Pooh.
"Pooh, promise you won't forget about me, ever. Not even when I'm a hundred."
Pooh thought for a little.
"How old shall I be then?"
"Ninety-nine."
Pooh nodded.
"I promise," he said.
Conversation between Pooh and Piglet:
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
"Pooh!" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
posted by mcstayinskool at 10:24 AM on July 27, 2015 [4 favorites]
Mary Oliver is good for nature-y wedding readings. Try This Summer Day, or (especially if the spirituality in that doesn't work for the couple) Wild Geese.
posted by earth by april at 10:26 AM on July 27, 2015
posted by earth by april at 10:26 AM on July 27, 2015
This describes our wedding pretty well, though we did have on biblical reading. The others were as follows:
Apache Wedding Prayer:
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter unto the other
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other
Now you will feel no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other
Now you are two persons, but there is only one life between you
Go now to your dwelling place, to enter into the days of your life together.
From the Velveteen Rabbit:
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.
“Someone made me real,” he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."
posted by craven_morhead at 10:33 AM on July 27, 2015 [4 favorites]
Apache Wedding Prayer:
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter unto the other
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other
Now you will feel no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other
Now you are two persons, but there is only one life between you
Go now to your dwelling place, to enter into the days of your life together.
From the Velveteen Rabbit:
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.
“Someone made me real,” he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."
posted by craven_morhead at 10:33 AM on July 27, 2015 [4 favorites]
A little abstract, maybe, but my parents--affable, non-religious, outdoorsy hippies, married outside on a friend's farm--had Rainer Maria Rilke's 'A Walk' read at their 1977 wedding. I've always found it charming (although I confess I don't know much about the poem or Rilke, so my affection for it is likely a bit biased.)
My eyes already touch the sunny hill,
going far ahead of the road I have begun.
So we are grasped by what we cannot grasp;
it has its inner light, even from a distance—
and changes us, even if we do not reach it,
into something else, which, hardly sensing it, we already are;
a gesture waves us on, answering our own wave . . .
but what we feel is the wind in our faces.
posted by cimton at 10:33 AM on July 27, 2015
My eyes already touch the sunny hill,
going far ahead of the road I have begun.
So we are grasped by what we cannot grasp;
it has its inner light, even from a distance—
and changes us, even if we do not reach it,
into something else, which, hardly sensing it, we already are;
a gesture waves us on, answering our own wave . . .
but what we feel is the wind in our faces.
posted by cimton at 10:33 AM on July 27, 2015
Some of the suggestions from my related thread seem like they could be suitable.
posted by emilyw at 10:53 AM on July 27, 2015
posted by emilyw at 10:53 AM on July 27, 2015
Love Poem by Garrison Keillor
A summer night, and you, and paradise,
So lovely and so full of grace,
Above your head, the universe has hung its lights,
And I reach out my hand to touch your face.
I believe in impulse, in all that is green,
Believe in the foolish vision that comes true,
Believe that all that is essential is unseen,
And for this lifetime I believe in you.
All of the lovers and the love they made:
Nothing that was between them was a mistake.
All that is done for love's sake,
Is not wasted and will never fade.
O love that shines from every star,
Love reflected in the silver moon:
It is not here, but it's not far.
Not yet, but it will be here soon.
posted by sparklemotion at 11:03 AM on July 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
A summer night, and you, and paradise,
So lovely and so full of grace,
Above your head, the universe has hung its lights,
And I reach out my hand to touch your face.
I believe in impulse, in all that is green,
Believe in the foolish vision that comes true,
Believe that all that is essential is unseen,
And for this lifetime I believe in you.
All of the lovers and the love they made:
Nothing that was between them was a mistake.
All that is done for love's sake,
Is not wasted and will never fade.
O love that shines from every star,
Love reflected in the silver moon:
It is not here, but it's not far.
Not yet, but it will be here soon.
posted by sparklemotion at 11:03 AM on July 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
How Falling In Love Is Like Owning a Dog by Taylor Mali. It's longish so I'll only post a bit here.
On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes
and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.
Love doesn’t like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.
posted by Beti at 11:12 AM on July 27, 2015 [6 favorites]
On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes
and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.
Love doesn’t like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.
posted by Beti at 11:12 AM on July 27, 2015 [6 favorites]
How about something from “Instructions for Life in the New Millenium” by his holiness the 14th Dali Lama?
Take into account that great love
and great achievements involve great risk.
And that a loving atmosphere in your home
is the foundation for your life.
Be gentle with the earth, be gentle with one another.
When disagreements come remember always
to protect the spirit of your union.
When you realize you’ve made a mistake,
take immediate steps to correct it.
Remember that the best relationship is one
in which your love for each other
exceeds your need for each other.
So love yourselves, love one another,
love all that is your life together and all else will follow.
posted by Otis the Lion at 11:25 AM on July 27, 2015 [6 favorites]
Take into account that great love
and great achievements involve great risk.
And that a loving atmosphere in your home
is the foundation for your life.
Be gentle with the earth, be gentle with one another.
When disagreements come remember always
to protect the spirit of your union.
When you realize you’ve made a mistake,
take immediate steps to correct it.
Remember that the best relationship is one
in which your love for each other
exceeds your need for each other.
So love yourselves, love one another,
love all that is your life together and all else will follow.
posted by Otis the Lion at 11:25 AM on July 27, 2015 [6 favorites]
At a friend's wedding a few weeks ago, the reading was from some of the more heartfelt sections of Justice Kennedy's opinion in Obergefell v Hodges. I suspect that selected Kennedy passages are the summer wedding jam of 2015.
posted by mumkin at 11:29 AM on July 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by mumkin at 11:29 AM on July 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
We had Shakespeare's Sonnet 116 as one of our readings (mentioned in emilyw's thread also). It's really lovely (and as mentioned in the other thread, important to read as prose, not w/the line breaks).
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
posted by n. moon at 11:57 AM on July 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
posted by n. moon at 11:57 AM on July 27, 2015 [2 favorites]
The Confirmation
Edwin Muir (1887-1959)
Yes, yours, my love, is the right human face,
I in my mind had waited for this long.
Seeing the false and searching the true,
Then I found you as a traveller finds a place
Of welcome suddenly amid the wrong
Valleys and rocks and twisting roads.
But you, what shall I call you?
A fountain in a waste.
A well of water in a country dry.
Or anything that's honest and good, an eye
That makes the whole world bright.
Your open heart, simple with giving, gives the primal deed,
The first good world, the blossom, the blowing seed,
The hearth, the steadfast land, the wandering sea.
Not beautiful or rare in every part
But like yourself, as they were meant to be.
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 12:34 PM on July 27, 2015 [4 favorites]
Edwin Muir (1887-1959)
Yes, yours, my love, is the right human face,
I in my mind had waited for this long.
Seeing the false and searching the true,
Then I found you as a traveller finds a place
Of welcome suddenly amid the wrong
Valleys and rocks and twisting roads.
But you, what shall I call you?
A fountain in a waste.
A well of water in a country dry.
Or anything that's honest and good, an eye
That makes the whole world bright.
Your open heart, simple with giving, gives the primal deed,
The first good world, the blossom, the blowing seed,
The hearth, the steadfast land, the wandering sea.
Not beautiful or rare in every part
But like yourself, as they were meant to be.
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 12:34 PM on July 27, 2015 [4 favorites]
The Wild Rose by Wendall Berry
Sometimes hidden from me
in daily custom and in trust,
so that I live by you unaware
as by the beating of my heart,
Suddenly you flare in my sight,
a wild rose looming at the edge
of thicket, grace and light
where yesterday was only shade,
and once again I am blessed, choosing
again what I chose before.
posted by wizardpants at 12:52 PM on July 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
Sometimes hidden from me
in daily custom and in trust,
so that I live by you unaware
as by the beating of my heart,
Suddenly you flare in my sight,
a wild rose looming at the edge
of thicket, grace and light
where yesterday was only shade,
and once again I am blessed, choosing
again what I chose before.
posted by wizardpants at 12:52 PM on July 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
Wedding, by Alice Oswald
From time to time our love is like a sail
and when the sail begins to alternate
from tack to tack, it’s like a swallowtail
and when the swallow flies it’s like a coat;
and if the coat is yours, it has a tear
like a wide mouth and when the mouth begins
to draw the wind, it’s like a trumpeter
and when the trumpet blows, it blows like millions…
and this, my love, when millions come and go
beyond the need of us, is like a trick;
and when the trick begins, it’s like a toe
tip-toeing on a rope, which is like luck;
and when the luck begins, it’s like a wedding,
which is like love, which is like everything.
(also wasn't this question asked like last week?)
posted by Sebmojo at 2:58 PM on July 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
From time to time our love is like a sail
and when the sail begins to alternate
from tack to tack, it’s like a swallowtail
and when the swallow flies it’s like a coat;
and if the coat is yours, it has a tear
like a wide mouth and when the mouth begins
to draw the wind, it’s like a trumpeter
and when the trumpet blows, it blows like millions…
and this, my love, when millions come and go
beyond the need of us, is like a trick;
and when the trick begins, it’s like a toe
tip-toeing on a rope, which is like luck;
and when the luck begins, it’s like a wedding,
which is like love, which is like everything.
(also wasn't this question asked like last week?)
posted by Sebmojo at 2:58 PM on July 27, 2015 [1 favorite]
A MARRIAGE
By Michael Blumenthal
You are holding up a ceiling
with both arms. It is very heavy,
but you must hold it up, or else
it will fall down on you. Your arms
are tired, terribly tired,
and, as the day goes on, it feels
as if either your arms or the ceiling
will soon collapse.
But then,
unexpectedly,
something wonderful happens:
Someone,
a man or a woman,
walks into the room
and holds their arms up
to the ceiling beside you.
So you finally get
to take down your arms.
You feel the relief of respite,
the blood flowing back
to your fingers and arms.
And when your partner's arms tire,
you hold up your own
to relieve him again.
And it can go on like this
for many years
without the house falling.
posted by possibilityleft at 6:26 AM on July 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
By Michael Blumenthal
You are holding up a ceiling
with both arms. It is very heavy,
but you must hold it up, or else
it will fall down on you. Your arms
are tired, terribly tired,
and, as the day goes on, it feels
as if either your arms or the ceiling
will soon collapse.
But then,
unexpectedly,
something wonderful happens:
Someone,
a man or a woman,
walks into the room
and holds their arms up
to the ceiling beside you.
So you finally get
to take down your arms.
You feel the relief of respite,
the blood flowing back
to your fingers and arms.
And when your partner's arms tire,
you hold up your own
to relieve him again.
And it can go on like this
for many years
without the house falling.
posted by possibilityleft at 6:26 AM on July 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
Plato's Symposium has quite a lot worth ruminating on at a wedding. Aristophanes' portion is a masterwork, and has a theme that suits a wedding very well (especially a wedding at which the participants and witnesses represent diverse human stories).
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 10:36 AM on July 28, 2015
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 10:36 AM on July 28, 2015
Were/are they fans of Mister Rogers? We had a family member read the lyrics to his song "It's You I Like" and everyone LOVED it.
It's you I like,
It's not the things you wear,
It's not the way you do your hair--
But it's you I like.
The way you are right now,
The way down deep inside you--
Not the things that hide you,
Not your toys--
They're just beside you.
But it's you I like--
Every part of you,
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings
Whether old or new.
I hope that you'll remember
Even when you're feeling blue
That it's you I like,
It's you yourself,
It's you, it's you I like.
posted by sarahsynonymous at 7:28 PM on July 28, 2015
It's you I like,
It's not the things you wear,
It's not the way you do your hair--
But it's you I like.
The way you are right now,
The way down deep inside you--
Not the things that hide you,
Not your toys--
They're just beside you.
But it's you I like--
Every part of you,
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings
Whether old or new.
I hope that you'll remember
Even when you're feeling blue
That it's you I like,
It's you yourself,
It's you, it's you I like.
posted by sarahsynonymous at 7:28 PM on July 28, 2015
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"...Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow."
posted by darkchocolatepyramid at 10:14 AM on July 27, 2015 [6 favorites]