Blow up bed needed for picky parents.

July 20, 2015 8:45 AM

My parents occasionally stay over at my tiny Brooklyn apartment, and they really, REALLY hate my futon. Can you suggest a good blow up bed I could buy for them?

So my parents stay at my little Brooklyn apartment sometimes, and they hate my futon. The futon frame is precarious, so they usually put the mattress on the floor. But it’s thin and super uncomfortable.

I’d like to buy a blow up bed for them to use when they’re in town. Can you suggest a good one? The problem is…. They claim blow up beds are terrible because when one person moves, the other person gets shifted around too. So I guess maybe one of those beds where the two sides are separated? I’m willing to spend up to $200 and it has to be deliverable (so, from Amazon or something similar). OR I guess I could buy some kind of mat/cushion to put UNDER the futon mattress while it’s on the floor? I don’t know.

They’re visiting in two weeks! Help!

posted by silverstatue to Home & Garden (18 answers total)

Give them your bed, deal with the couch or air mattress or whatever. It will be less of a hassle.

We also have a small brooklyn apartment, and similarly picky parents. Thinking about how they've set this up you're in a lose-lose - the current accommodation is inadequate but they have pre-nixed your most feasible alternative (all air mattresses, when shared, will have this problem). We have one of the nicer inflatable mattresses ("double height and all") and my mother-in-law just doesn't get why its not reasonable to sit on the edge of it to put on her shoes and socks etc - instead of actually listening to her feedback as requests to get a different temporary/portable sleeping technology i hear them as how grateful she is not to be paying hundreds and hundreds of dollars a night for the privilege of seeing us.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 8:59 AM on July 20, 2015 [11 favorites]

You should sleep on the couch yourself when they are visiting so they can have the bed. This is, I promise you, a thousand times easier than trying to please people (especially parents) on a limited budget.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:05 AM on July 20, 2015 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: I meant to put this in my question but... they don't like my bed either. They say it's too soft :)
posted by silverstatue at 9:18 AM on July 20, 2015 [2 favorites]

Do you have any space under your own bed? You could probably find a used Tuft and Needle mattress on Craigslist if you have a little time to wait for one to show up (put an alert on IFTTT)- they don't make the 5" version anymore, but they only stopped making it recently, so it's possible to find a used one that's fairly new. I'm guessing the 10" version might not fit under a bed, unless you have an unusually high frame. It's a really comfortable bed, and the 5" feels basically the same as the 10".
posted by three_red_balloons at 9:20 AM on July 20, 2015

Aerobeds are pretty good as far as blow-up mattresses go. They hold their air so there isn't as much of a "being moved around by the other person" effect, especially with the double-height ones.
posted by neushoorn at 9:31 AM on July 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'd ask them to pick out an air mattress or whatever. Tell them you'll buy it. That way, it's their responsibility!
posted by heathrowga at 9:36 AM on July 20, 2015 [11 favorites]

Another option would be to buy them two separate camping cots. My partner's parents prefer to each sleep on something like this when they visit; there's no uncomfortable frame like with a futon or pull-out bed, there's movement isolation, and they won't deflate. Plus they fold up and store like a dream.
posted by stellaluna at 9:56 AM on July 20, 2015

They are correct about two people sleeping on one air mattress being uncomfortable. Better to get two smaller air mattresses to avoid this issue, or get a different futon mattress. To be honest, at a certain point they need to just be less picky. After all, they are getting free housing in a very expensive city!
posted by joan_holloway at 10:11 AM on July 20, 2015

I used to move a lot so I never bought a real bed and slept on air mattresses for months at a time until I wise up and started staying at furnished apartments. Personally, I didn't spend very much and got some comfortable beds. The key is they should be raised, or double-decker. The other key is get ones with a built-in pump, that way firming them up is very easy and quick. Walmart's Mainstay line or Intex are good, and will only set you back like $60 max, probably. Like this. Target's selection isn't good -- I hate Walmart, but that's the best place to buy one.

You may want to just get two separate twin or full beds, since they don't cost that much. Inflatable beds aren't necessarily going to be good for two people to share, no matter how expensive it is.
posted by AppleTurnover at 10:22 AM on July 20, 2015

Having rejected your bed and all typical stowable guest-bed options, I have to wonder what they do want. If the answer to this is something like "for their daughter to live in suburbia with a proper guest bedroom rather than a small Brooklyn apartment," then you'll want to adjust your expectations for what your effort and money is going to get you.

That said, the fancier queen-size raised Aerobeds are within your price range, and a memory foam topper (even just an inexpensive one) could help it feel less "bouncy" to them.

Alternately, it sounds like perhaps you're agreeing that the futon frame is unstable and the mattress thin and uncomfortable, so is it perhaps time to consider just replacing the futon with a nicer version including a thicker mattress? That's more than $200, so it should be an upgrade that you do for yourself according to your own preferences, not just to make your parents happy with their sleeping situation.
posted by desuetude at 10:48 AM on July 20, 2015 [2 favorites]

If you're really set on an air mattress, the one that might give you the most options is the Coleman 4 in 1 Quickbed, which allows you to join two twins together with queen-sized sheets or use them separately. Having two separate air mattresses stuck together somewhat reduces the partner jostling potential of an inflatable mattress, but it's not like you're not sleeping on an airbed; it's just that one partner rolling over or flopping back down doesn't automatically make the other person bounce upwards.

I agree that this sounds like an unwinnable situation, but at $50, it wouldn't be like you put a ton of money into a solution they don't like.
posted by deludingmyself at 10:49 AM on July 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'd also recommend the cot suggestion, but go for the newer type of padded bungee cot. I have many friends who swear by the Mojo Cot by Gander Mountain; we have several camping events each year including a 2-week annual summer event and people pretty unanimously love these cots, my good friend often tells me her cot is more comfortable than her "real" bed. If you don't want to spend the $ on two of the padded cots, you can get a double-size regular cot for less: I know folks who also use one like this and like them. But I'm on team "Let the parents figure out their own bed if they don't like the generous -- and free -- options you provide them."
posted by cuddles.mcsnuggy at 10:55 AM on July 20, 2015 [2 favorites]

+1 to "Just have them stay at a hotel or AirBnB"

For older people that are picky sleepers, it's not just the characteristics of the mattress that matter, it's things like how far from the floor is it (maybe this is why they dislike your futon?) It sounds to me that the relationship is already a bit strained, and having some alone time during the visit will really help.
posted by slacy at 3:38 PM on July 20, 2015

You've had a lot of great suggestions, I just wanted to add my own experience - I've had some of my best sleeps on an airbed + thin foam topper (which was actually from a sun lounger, so nothing fancy). The fancier version would be a memory foam topper (suggested further up already, I think). Combine that with the twin airbeds suggested by deludingmyself, and you're only at about $150 for multiple combinations:
- airbed + foam topper
- airbed without foam topper
- futon mattress with foam topper
- heck, even airbed + futon mattress?

PS. also I admit my first instinct was to tell them "don't like it, get a hotel." *cough*
posted by ClarissaWAM at 3:45 PM on July 20, 2015

Trust me on this one (or just read the reviews). This air mattress is as comfy and durable as any you'll find.

We take this camping, and my husband and I can both sleep on it for three nights (probably more, but that's as long as we've tried) without adding air even once.

The first time we used it, my husband complained that I'd filled it too much because it was so firm. I was sure it'd soften up by morning, but instead we let a little air out.
posted by whoiam at 3:57 PM on July 20, 2015

Response by poster: Hi everyone, and thanks for all the advice! I'm going to check out some of these suggestions tonight and order something. For those of you suggesting a hotel or airbnb, my parents would DEFINITELY drive the 2 hours home before they dropped 300 bucks or something on a hotel. Airbnb is not an option.

A few of you pointed out that it's not so much that they're picky and more that they're pushing 70 and don't wanna be sleeping on a floor. I know, I know. They're actually wonderful and reasonable and I'm being a little facetious when I say that they "hate" stuff. They could always crash with a relative, but I love when they stay here with me! I just want them to be as comfortable as possible while they're here.
posted by silverstatue at 5:24 PM on July 20, 2015

Is your bed truly too soft? I can't imagine that any air mattress will be firmer than a true traditional mattress. I like a pretty firm mattress and spent this past weekend sleeping on an air mattress and while it wasn't awful it wasn't great either.

So what I am getting at, is it time for you to get a new mattress? Could you deal with a firmer one that would let your parents sleep comfortably in?
posted by mmascolino at 8:02 AM on July 21, 2015

> So what I am getting at, is it time for you to get a new mattress? Could you deal with a firmer one that would let your parents sleep comfortably in?

Alternately, perhaps some sort of firm bed-topper that makes your bed agreeable to them?
posted by desuetude at 12:07 PM on July 21, 2015