This place sucks- Get me outta here!

December 1, 2005 10:28 PM

How to deal with gnawing wanderlust?

I live in Oklahoma right now, and due to education and other tie-downs, I'm stuck here until at least the beginning of 2007.

The problem is, I'm desperate to leave. It may be nice to have friendly neighbors and open space, but there's plenty of downsides. Basically, it's a stifling area to anyone who isn't a conservative Christian. Needless to say, that's not me. Sadly, life in the South for so long has left me a little insular and slow to open to new areas, so short trips outside of the area tend to be futile without friends to show me the area, or at least someone to join me on such a trip.

I need to find something that's not Bible Belt USA on a low budget, and with reasonably limited time to escape. Any suggestions for travel, alternatives to ease my mind, or even just knowledge of interesting things in the OKC area that don't involve a drunken stupor?

posted by Saydur to society & culture (22 comments total)

You may want to try the OKC Astronomy Club. I never got involved with that particular club when I was there (since they were north-OKC centric), but I find that science-oriented activities have a much more diverse mix of people. At most clubs, the astronomy viewing nights are dirt cheap and worth a look.

I feel your pain... I used to live in the OKC area. We left a couple of years ago, but I find that a large chunk of the country is not that much better. Even up in Vermont, seemingly a liberal haven, they have a Republican legislature and governor. There is no utopia in the U.S. anymore, at least none that doesn't have housing starting at $500K. I think if you're in a college town like Norman, you're doing great.. it's where it's at IMHO.
posted by rolypolyman at 10:50 PM on December 1, 2005

Take a roadtrip for a week. Especially if you're in school, winter break is coming right up. This has been discussed on metafilter a few times, but I, for one, am a big advocate of buying a greyhound bus ticket to somewhere, preferably 3 or more days away travel time and just carry along a backpack, a pillow, a blanket and sleeping pills. You'll be amazed at the people you meet, and after it's all over, you might relish being home for the next few months :-)

Or learn how to play poker and come gamble with me at the Cherokee. Nothing satiates wanderlust like rolled up aces over kings.
posted by Happydaz at 11:11 PM on December 1, 2005

How to deal with gnawing wanderlust? [...] The problem is, I'm desperate to leave.

You deal with it by addressing the issue head-on. OK is not OK, man. Get the hell out of Dodge. Transfer to a different college if you can. Take a semester abroad if you can't. Spend a summer overseas if you can't study abroad.

Here's a travel secret: the more expensive it is to get somewhere, the cheaper that place is to stay. So, Europe is cheap to get to, but expensive to visit. Lhasa is expensive to get to, cheap to stay in.

Save up for a summer; maybe two grand. Then go and don't come back until you're good and ready. Five years should do it. The hardest part is leaving stuff behind (people, belongings, "potential" opportunities, etc.) Get Zen with it: once you've released yourself from your earthly (read: practical) desires and conveniences, you'll find it a lot easier to stick your thumb out and go.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 11:18 PM on December 1, 2005

I have this affliction too--I dealt with it by meeting a Hawaiian girl, formerly of San Francisco, who'd moved to Lawrence. I drove her back to the Bay Area a year ago, and now I have friends with a comfy couch who keep getting me to go back.

Any friends you could road trip to? If you're not dealing with cross-country adventure (and even then), it's probably not as expensive as you think. Hell, come visit Lawrence, KS. I'm sure one of us would put you up. Or you could just visit China for a month--probably for less than the plane ticket to get there.
posted by hototogisu at 11:35 PM on December 1, 2005

Go rent and watch Planes, Trains & Automobiles with Steve Martin and John Candy. You'll be glad you're home.
posted by vanoakenfold at 12:28 AM on December 2, 2005

Find out if your school has any exchange programs with schools in other countries. Sometimes the schools have arranged it so that you still pay the same amount of tuition as your home school, when you are away. So assuming you'd go somewhere with a moderately similar cost of living, your costs wouldn't increase too much. (Other than the cost of travel.)

Or, do the 'tourist in your own state' thing, and do all sorts of neato touristy stuff on the weekends.
posted by Kololo at 12:40 AM on December 2, 2005

er, umm, give in to it? Or as Mark Twian put it more eloquently
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." Easier said than done I know, and whatever holds you to where you are now probably seems irresistable, but, hey, think about it....
posted by vac2003 at 12:53 AM on December 2, 2005

Last December, I quit an extremely high-profile, lucrative job in my industry and pissed away the majority of my savings on a 12,000-mile road trip around the country.

I've only been scraping by for the last year or so, but I don't regret an instant of it.

Just go.
posted by dersins at 1:04 AM on December 2, 2005

You live in one of the most inward looking regions of one of the world's most inward looking countries. If you have the will to go elsewhere then find a way to go now. There is always a way of doing so with limited means. Since you say you are in education I suspect you are young - under 30 say. Recognise that the number of opportunities you have now to make a new start living somewhere else will never by as great as they are now (except perhaps when you are on the point of retirement). I would look at educational placements as a first option and would not wait until 2007 to arrange it.
posted by rongorongo at 1:21 AM on December 2, 2005

I was in Oklahoma City not long ago and found it a surprisingly vibrant and bustling city. The Bricktown area was awesome and the whole downtown area was as beautiful as any I've seen in a long time. It definitely seems like a city breaking into the major leagues.

As for the Zen approach recommended above, CD said:

Get Zen with it: once you've released yourself from your earthly (read: practical) desires and conveniences, you'll find it a lot easier to stick your thumb out and go.

Hummm....the Zen I know of says you can find peace wherever you are.

CD also said in that post that "Oklahoma is not OK" and you need to "Get the hell out of Dodge". I dare suggest the Oklahoma City I was in three weeks ago was more than just OK - I was impressed. If it's just a matter of religious intolerance - remember it works both ways. Maybe this is your Zen time to become more accepting of others you may not agree with. Just a thought?

But seriously, there are a hell of a lot worse places to be than the Oklahoma City metropolitan area, which includes Norman. The thought that comes to mind is, "The grass is always greener on the other side - but you still have to mow it."

-
posted by Independent Scholarship at 1:21 AM on December 2, 2005

I lived in OKC for 23 years. Leaving (for Houston) was the best decision I've ever made in my life. Within three months of moving I had beaten the depression and "stuck-in-a-rut" feeling, even though I was working in the same type of job, and I also met my husband. Now I live in Korea, and three years ago I would have thought I'd never ever find a way to get the hell outta Oklahoma. I kinda just threw a metaphorical dart at the wall and ended up in Houston.

I left with $500, no job, and only a temporary place to stay. I remember putting off leaving 100s of times because I was soooo scared, but looking back, I can't believe how easy it was.

I agree with the people who say Oklahoma is vibrant and a nice place to visit, but if you've lived there any length of time it begins to rapidly devour your soul like Satan's hot womb.

Get out while you still can.
posted by Brittanie at 1:38 AM on December 2, 2005

There's some excellent advice here. Here's the deal. I'm 22, and finishing up a bachelor's degree. I'm pretty interested in getting that done for various reasons, including work visas. Once I graduate, I intend on taking advantage of the JET program, teaching English in Japan for a year or two. I'd just like a bit of travel before then if possible.

Hearing some of this, I'm tempted to push the limits and take that summer off for some low-cost travel.

Also to note, I'm in Edmond, essentially the far north end of Oklahoma City. I can visit Bricktown or Norman on weekends, but they're too far off for weekday visits between class.

Regarding acceptance of others, it's not so much a matter of that. I've got dear friends who are very conservative and fundamentalist. I just want to spend some time in a place where the words "I am not a Christian" do not actually shock people.

There's some great suggestions here. I'll have to think this over a bit. Thanks much, and anything further is greatly appreciated.
posted by Saydur at 2:07 AM on December 2, 2005

the Zen I know of says you can find peace wherever you are

Ah, the student becomes the teacher! Your statement is entirely true. But you usually don't realize this until after you've travelled a lot. Which is why I recommended he go walkabout for a while.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:35 AM on December 2, 2005

FEED IT

are you an undergrad? transfering IS SO EASY and you don't lose as many credits as most horror stories say. i transfered and switched my major and graduated only one term off schedule.

you don't even have to withdraw sometimes -- between the international transfer programs and national programs you may not lose any credits at all. why not finish your senior year in japan before you begin teaching there?
posted by raaka at 4:58 AM on December 2, 2005

If it's not too far, head south to Austin, which may be the closest quasi-liberal city you've got. Eat breakfast tacos at Maria's, have a drink with me at Trudy's, see some live music at Antone's, attend a few random classes at UT.

I have lots of friends in other parts of Texas who feel the same way you do, and Austin is where they all come when they just can't take it anymore.
posted by aebaxter at 5:36 AM on December 2, 2005

I have an Aunt that lives there (well, in Claremore) and she is not a bible banger. I think some people can be religious and not a fundamentalist, so some of the appearances of religion may not be that much of a threat. But anyways, she manages to be a democrat AND live in OK, so there are others that also do the same.

I don't agree with leaving a place just because it sucks. Because if everyone did that, then the potential for change is not there. If I was there, I would also practice meditation as may have been referenced in the zen comments. It is said, if the Buddha was in OK, or wherever, he would not see it as a horrible place, but relate to the suffering of people as to why they do the things they do.

Also, the native american population is open as well and have many opportunities to work with them on many levels: spiritual, volunteer, etc.
posted by _zed_ at 6:47 AM on December 2, 2005

I don't agree with leaving a place just because it sucks.
I do.

Because if everyone did that, then the potential for change is not there.
Just because you hate a place doesn't make it bad. There are a lot of people who like OK just fine the way it is. Trying to "change" it will be an uphill battle, and why be miserable if you don't have to be? Take it from someone who tried- it's not worth it. Just leave.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:08 AM on December 2, 2005 [2 favorites]

For getaways on a budget youth hostels are cheap cheap cheap. Good luck finding a $60 hotel room in DC but numerous hostels are under $30 a night.
posted by phearlez at 7:38 AM on December 2, 2005

I'm with the "just leave" crowd, but anyway here's the contact info of the most local juggling club I could find (in Norman):

Oklahoma Jugglers. Wednesday, 6-9 PM. Moore Public Library, 225 S. Howard Avenue (or NE 2nd St. at N Santa Fe St.?), Moore, OK 73160. Call for confirmation. Kevin Holman, 405-366-1127, 1503 High Meadows Drive, Norman, OK 73071; or John Gunser, 405-360-9821, e-mail [e-mail], 805 Parkside Road, Norman, OK 73072.
posted by Aknaton at 7:40 AM on December 2, 2005

Not to sound all proselytizey, but have you been to the Unitarian church there? Some of my best friends go to that church. They tend to be left-leaning and (consequently) equally as frustrated with their surroundings. They don't have a particularly demanding creed or anything (no God necessary), and you could easily just show up a few times and check out some of the social activities (and in spite what the pictures on their site show, there are actually a lot of younger people there).
posted by unknowncommand at 8:54 AM on December 2, 2005

Because if everyone did that, then the potential for change is not there.

So? Are cities and towns such instrinsicly special entities unto themselves that they deserve to exist without reason or merit?

People go to and populate places which offer them something they see as valuable. Good weather, low taxes, 24-hour/day subways... whatever your think is important. When a place doesn't offer anything of value (to you), you have no obligation to stay and "make it better." When enough people start leaving in droves, those cities will be faced with either fundamentally changing or going extinct. Make your frustration known in the most effective way possible: leave.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 3:59 PM on December 2, 2005

Thanks guys, plenty of good suggestions. At the advice of a family friend, I'm pondering a trip to Thailand this summer if I can get hold of the money. It'll be rough, but you guys are right. I only live once.

I suspect that even if I lived in California, I'd still be dying to travel. I'd do no good trying to change Oklahoma, my heart just wouldn't be in it.

Extra thanks to you guys who suggested OKC area activities. Once finals are over, I do believe I'll have to investigate a few of these. The Unitarian Church seems like a great idea as well, for the pure community angle of it.

Thanks for confirming my thoughts that it really is just more important to live. This will be a blast.
posted by Saydur at 7:46 PM on December 3, 2005