What gift should I bring to a lunch?
June 21, 2015 12:29 PM   Subscribe

My new acquaintance has invited me for lunch with his wife and 11-year-old son next Saturday. What should I bring?

If this were a dinner party, and adults only, I would bring a bottle of wine. But wine doesn't seem so appropriate for lunch, especially if a kid is going to be there... or is it appropriate? I was thinking that maybe I should bring some food/drink to share, and an additional thing for the kid? Or maybe just some flowers? I have no idea.

Thanks for your suggestions!
posted by tickingclock to Human Relations (25 answers total)
 
Ask what kind of dessert they'd like you to bring.
posted by MsMolly at 12:32 PM on June 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


I would bring an age-appropriate book for the boy. Happy children => happy parents.
posted by Too-Ticky at 12:35 PM on June 21, 2015


I would see if there is another fun or special beverage. Mexican Cokes, sparkling juice of some kind, etc. Or you could bring the ingredients for an easy (non-alcoholic) drink like Italian sodas.
posted by rossination at 12:46 PM on June 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


I would bring a small potted plant (removes the need for the host to run off and find a vase) and a small toy or book for the little one.
posted by rpfields at 12:47 PM on June 21, 2015


Ice cold sparkling grape juice!

You should really just ask though. "I'd like to bring something. What would go with your lunch plans?"
posted by zennie at 12:47 PM on June 21, 2015 [3 favorites]


Flowers, definitely. That's all that's needed.
posted by primate moon at 12:47 PM on June 21, 2015


Response by poster: Hmm. So it's not weird to ask? Or, what happens if I ask, and they politely refuse that I bring anything?

Does anybody have a good book suggestion for the boy?
posted by tickingclock at 1:10 PM on June 21, 2015


In my experience, lunch doesn't require a hostess gift. If you really want to bring something, a Lego minifig from toys-er-us or a softcover book for the 11 year old are nice. Predicting what an 11 year old would enjoy is not easy, but jokes are usually pretty popular.
posted by theora55 at 1:14 PM on June 21, 2015 [3 favorites]


As a parent and relatively frequent host of meals, lunches included -- a six-pack of good local beer. The wine would be fine, too. Either booze is on the menu, and yours will either be added to the mix or used to replenish their stock, or it is not on the menu, and it will be much appreciated afterwards. There's nothing inappropriate about it -- here, anyway; probably there are very conservative circles somewhere where it would raise an eyebrow, but if you were living there it probably wouldn't have occurred to you at all.

There is just no way to know the reading tastes of a kid you haven't met and a trinket for the kid isn't necessary.

Ask before bringing perishable food. If you get a no on food/drinks, default to flowers.
posted by kmennie at 1:28 PM on June 21, 2015 [2 favorites]


As for the boy..... A clean joke book will almost always be a winner and National Geographic has just put out their Everything almanac in paperback. I bought a few for kid gifts at Barnes and Noble the other day. Very cool. Agree with Happy kid equals happy parents.
posted by pearlybob at 1:41 PM on June 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


For the boy, find a Klutz crafty book, animal origami, or paper airplane folding book. That gives him something new to do while the adults are chatting. I'm always touched when the guest brings something for our son, and prefer it to a hostess gift because he has to self-entertain while we're hosting.
posted by girlhacker at 1:50 PM on June 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


You could bring something for them to enjoy on their own like cookies from a fancy bakery or banana bread. Tell them to enjoy the cookies later or the banana bread for breakfast. I also like gourmet popcorn-- the stuff that is drizzled in chocolate or caramel that you can buy at chocolate shops.
posted by Fairchild at 1:50 PM on June 21, 2015 [2 favorites]


Bakery goods, or like a craft root beer might be good.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:54 PM on June 21, 2015


For a few bucks you can get some sort of Minecraft treat at any major retailer. They sell these backpack clips where you don't know what character you are getting until you open it up. I haven't met a single 11 year old that didn't like them. And then bring booze for the parents because, well, they have an 11 year old.
posted by myselfasme at 2:05 PM on June 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


Assuming no dietary issues or allergies, you can't go wrong with chocolate chip cookies.
posted by jessicapierce at 2:12 PM on June 21, 2015 [4 favorites]


I would bring a shareable food treat. I don't think the boy needs any trinket - he's 11, not a toddler who needs some toy to behave. And kids around that age really start to differentiate in terms of likes and dislikes - there's a very good chance whatever you get will not be to his liking. He's not 4, you can't just buy him a coloring book and have a very good chance it will be a hit.
posted by Aranquis at 2:16 PM on June 21, 2015 [8 favorites]


Box of chocolates or flowers.
posted by peripathetic at 2:31 PM on June 21, 2015


I always like to bring a good bottle of olive oil as a house gift. Not Bertolli or what have you, of course, but a fancier bottle from a cooking store, that sort of thing. Many people use olive oil, especially someone who invites you over for a meal at their house.

Agree that it's not appropriate to bring a gift for a 11-year-old when his parents have invited you to their house. That's what you'd do if the hosts had a very young child, not a tween, and it's likely the child himself would think it a bit odd to be given a gift as though he's much younger than he is.
posted by holborne at 2:32 PM on June 21, 2015 [2 favorites]


I also think a bottle of wine is totally appropriate, btw. People don't stop drinking wine because they have an 11 year old, and it's not as if they're going to think you're suggesting they booze it up with the kid.
posted by holborne at 2:34 PM on June 21, 2015


Honestly, lunch is casual and the spectrum of what 11 year olds like is so wide as to be useless to try until and unless you know them. I'd say don't worry about bringing something but yourself. If you do see something you'd like to share with them like some nice cheese or a delicious cake, then get it.

Wine is a meh default gift anyway in my opinion. Not everyone drinks so unless you know they drink, I'd skip that, too.
posted by inturnaround at 3:01 PM on June 21, 2015


I usually bring a dessert--nice chocolates, maybe, if you're not specifically offering to bring one--because I don't drink and have no sense of appropriate alcohol. But we recieve wine and/or beer all the time in family contexts (even though only one person in the family drinks, and not much at that). It's a standard enough hosting gift to be understood and taken as it was meant. Fancy/interesting soda and a bottle of wine might be particularly well-recieved.
posted by tchemgrrl at 4:56 PM on June 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


I usually bring a bar of fair trade organic chocolate.
posted by aniola at 5:39 PM on June 21, 2015


Some nice squares or cookies from a good bakery.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 6:45 PM on June 21, 2015


Seasonal fresh fruit! We just had a house party and folks were kind enough to bring all sorts of things, but the gifts I enjoyed the most were fresh cherries and currants.
posted by prewar lemonade at 8:12 PM on June 21, 2015


Response by poster: Great suggestions, everyone. I asked him what dessert he'd like me to bring. If he politely refuses, I'll get some flowers, or maybe a sparkly, summery drink.

As for the kid, I thankfully remembered that he is into 3D stuff, as is the dad (that's how the dad and I met -- he's interested in 3D photography, and I am a vision scientist who does research with 3D). So, I ordered this 3D drawing pad, which will hopefully arrive before Saturday!

Thanks for all your help!
posted by tickingclock at 9:49 PM on June 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


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