Noise, and sleep, and a potential new roommate
May 6, 2015 12:34 AM   Subscribe

I rented a place this evening (put down a deposit, got my key, signed a lease) and am immediately regretting my decision. Does it make sense to see if I can undo this now?

I am renting a place for four months over the summer (a sublet). I have had a bit of trouble finding anywhere decent. Eventually, I decided to rent a place because the roommate seemed nice and the house was in a good location. The only problem was that my room is adjacent to the living room, and that my new roommate works late shifts and often has his friends over afterwards to drink wine and chat (I found that out this evening)

I am a somewhat anxious and light sleeper (I really can't fall asleep when I can hear people talking in the room next to mine, and I can't use earplugs). A lack of other short term rental options encouraged me to take this option... but now I'm thinking that it might have been a big mistake.

I'm trying to figure out the next steps here, or my possible/feasible options.

I'm torn between trying to make it work (even though I have had trouble with situations like this in the past) or else, continuing the search (and seeing if I can somehow get at least a part of my deposit back) where I'm unsure whether I might find anything better.
posted by twill to Grab Bag (11 answers total)
 
I can't fall asleep if there is any kind of noise. This white noise machine has been a godsend. It sounds just like a fan and drowns out most noise. If you can couple something like this with asking your roommate to try to keep it a little quieter, you should be able to make it through 4 months.
posted by dangerbird at 1:07 AM on May 6, 2015


Best answer: I can't stand white noise machines even when I'm not trying to sleep, but especially if I'm trying to sleep. If your roommate never informed you that he regularly has his friends over after 10 pm, then that seems extremely rude and you should try and talk to him about it. Roomates should ask permission before having people over late at night, and even in the day if it's all the time. However, if he's not willing to change his ways then I think you should try and keep looking and try to get your money back since this isn't a fair situation for you and it sounds like you'll be miserable. I understand, I also can't fall asleep with a bunch of socializing voices going on in the next room.
posted by Blitz at 1:47 AM on May 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


I had this very unfortunate noise experience with a summer sublet last summer, so I'm doubtless biased, but I personally would recommend taking early action if you think the noise is going to be regularly preventing you from sleeping. Given your lack of other options, it might be worth trying to make it work. I wonder whether the housemate in question would be willing to switch rooms with you for the duration of the sublet, if his/her room is more removed from the common area and quieter and if he/she is going to have friends over late? If not, perhaps you could try to set more reasonable parameters for said housemate to have friends over? If not, and if you don't think the white noise would work, you will probably need to make a difficult decision about whether you personally are able to stick this out, or whether you think you will be able to find another suitable sublet if you cut your losses.
posted by ClaireBear at 2:20 AM on May 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Best answer: Can you switch rooms? It would be a reasonable request, since your roommate is the one with the loud habits. Otherwise, yes, look for something else. Life is too short to waste even a summer being miserable. Or, you could go out and drink wine with them. It's only for 4 months. You might enjoy it. You might bond with the group, meet the love of your life, and live happily ever after. At any rate, your roommate should have told you about this before you moved in.
posted by myselfasme at 5:49 AM on May 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


I've been your roommate.
As a Night Owl who isn't very sensitive to noise it can be very difficult to understand the needs of someone who is the complete opposite. Even if he agrees to quiet down he may not realize just how much he needs to quiet down to allow you to sleep. This can be a hard adjustment even for a people who want to be accommodating to each other. Ask your roommate to be quieter and get a white noise machine. It's only for a few months.
posted by manderin at 6:24 AM on May 6, 2015


Is the reason for not being able to use earplugs anxiety or comfort? If it's the latter, you can get little squishy silicon ones that you warm them up in your fingers and they become quite pliable, then you almost apply them like putty around your ear canal— so they act/look more like those fancy musician earpieces that fit perfectly compared to the uncomfortable yellow ones most people associate with earplugs. Amazon has them.
posted by Static Vagabond at 6:30 AM on May 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


I feel like it really hinges on whether you have any realistic chance of finding a better place. If not, a white noise machine (multiple white noise machines!) and naps will most likely be what gets you through the next four months.

You can ask the roommate to keep things down, but it's a little rough to ask someone to change their social life and home habits for a temporary roommate. Maybe ask him if you could have one or two quiet (no friends over) nights a week?
posted by mskyle at 7:01 AM on May 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


white noise machines do nothing for me, but a loud stand fan can usually drown out a lot of background noise. you could try that instead, since warmer weather will be coming anyway.

i think it depends on what you're going to be doing this summer. if it's taking summer classes or working somewhere that isn't seasonal and temporary, then i would probably say you should look for somewhere else to live, because it's just not worth it in the long run to let something destroy your sleep schedule and stress you out a lot while you're doing something important to your future. if you're just doing temp seasonal work and/or just faffing around all summer then i would suggest that you try to work it out with the roommate.

as a light/nervous sleeper you might be better off looking for something without roommates, like a pet-sitting job or a house-sitting job which provides free rent and no noisy people. it is pretty late in the season to start looking for that, though.
posted by poffin boffin at 7:45 AM on May 6, 2015


Best answer: Agree with those who say that it's best to buy a white noise machine (or more than one, actually) and stay. It's an enormous hassle to find a new place so close to summer (at least to me), and this problem seems easily surmountable. If you had signed a one-year or longer lease, I'd have a different take on it, but for four months I think you should take steps to stay where you are.

I am suuuuuuuuuuper noise-sensitive (like, to the point that it actually has started to affect my health at various times in my life), so I am completely sympathetic to your issues there. But even I would disagree that your roommate should ask permission if he wants to have non-overnight guests over, especially if it's actually his place and you're a temporary subtenant. Of course, he should be considerate of you and not keep you up until all hours every night, but it doesn't sound like having friends over for wine and chatting crosses into the realm of unreasonable behavior. And I think if you're very sensitive to noise, then it was on you to ask questions to make sure the living situation would be acceptable to you before you moved in, rather than asking this guy to change his habits now that you're there.
posted by holborne at 8:19 AM on May 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


Mrs. Sourcequench is a light sleeper. (Trivia like drum circles and bagpipers in the ren fair campground are said to wake her. Pshaw!) She is also unable to sleep wearing traditional earplugs.

However, she swears by the wax-and-cotton-wool variety.

My attitude towards these is 1) nope, 2) I'm not crewing a ship for Odysseus, and 3) ewww. But different people like different stuff, and the price of admission is low enough that it might be worth the experiment.

If it doesn't work out, put them in a bowl on your desk at work and wait for people to mistake them for candy.
posted by sourcequench at 12:33 PM on May 6, 2015


I'm a light sleeper AND a nightowl. I can sympathize with both sides here.

You said your roommate seems nice...so, take this up with him in a non-accusatory, working-together sort of way. I don't think that either of you are necessarily being unreasonable. (Since you described this as "drink wine and chat," not "swing from the chandelier and crank the stereo," I feel like you're saying that he's not doing something egregiously loud and totally rude, just that it's too much noise for you to handle while sleeping.)

So, maybe he and his friends can hang out outside instead. Maybe they can hang out in his room rather than the living room. Maybe you could switch rooms if that would put you further from the living room. Maybe you two could do put up some cheap DIY noise-insulation on the wall between your room and the living room.

If this guy is reasonable and willing to compromise, well...it would be a shame to trade in this place for a whisper-quiet roommate yet get saddled with neighbors who blast their stereo or argue all night and don't have any reason to give a damn about being decent to you.
posted by desuetude at 1:40 PM on May 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


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