What kind of meetup should I start?

April 26, 2015 10:40 PM

I'd like to start a meetup in my town as I haven't really made friends since moving here two years ago and I'd like to change that. There's a meetup group going already but they do things I'm not that interested in usually - stuff like salsa dancing, pub quizzes and big restaurant meals with 25 people. I'd be more interested in a small group going out for coffee or a picnic in the park.

So I'm a married 40-something left-leaning somewhat shy female living in the UK. I love reading, going for walks, going out for coffee or drinks, stuff like that. I'd like to meet people I would have something in common with to eventually make friends with as individuals or couples, have round for dinner, chat with, etc. A meetup seems like a good vehicle for making friends - a means to an end rather than for its own sake if that makes sense? I guess my concern is that I'm not a very social person generally - more of a joiner than a leader usually. But as I can't find anything I really want to join I guess I don't have much of a choice.

I thought about starting a book club for literary fiction, but that seems a bit limited. I've also considers a coffee club meetup in local cafes that could include a monthly book club, but also coffee plus a walk, coffee and board games, coffee and museum visit. Sound okay? If so, what do I call it?

posted by anonymous to Human Relations (7 answers total)

What about local walks or hikes? Those have been my favorite meetups.
posted by cecic at 10:58 PM on April 26, 2015

When my mother moved to a new town she started a "Coffee Pot Club"; not in cafes, people met up in each other's houses regularly. Sometimes there'd be something on the programme (eg a guest speaker), sometimes not. It was a big success, especially with other newcomers and is still going: I think they actually have a waiting list to join.
posted by Segundus at 1:39 AM on April 27, 2015 [1 favorite]

A spin on Segundus' suggestion: one such group (a supper club) would ask a member (in advance) to speak to the group about his or her past or present passion, eg kite flying.
posted by mmiddle at 3:53 AM on April 27, 2015 [2 favorites]

It's very common for general interest, making new friends meetups to be called things like 'New Friends in Location' or 'Location Social' or 'Age Group Friends'.

Depending on how the other group is set up and how well its demographic matches the one you're interested in, it may be also be worth reaching out to their organizer and asking if you can host some smaller events under their banner. Groups can have multiple event organizers and if there's a focal group for your area already, it may be easier to work with them than to start your own thing.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:11 AM on April 27, 2015

I recently read about the difference between passive fun (watching tv and such), active fun (where you do exactly what you want), and accommodating fun, where you don't necessarily do what you want to do in particular because the accommodating of other people leads to them accommodating you. Otherwise, we are all just bowling alone.
posted by mearls at 6:13 AM on April 27, 2015

$Location Friendship Dates!
posted by WeekendJen at 1:41 PM on April 27, 2015

Why not just call it "Coffee and ..." then make a list for everyone to see and choose a different thing every time. I'm in the UK too - London, though - and i'd come to it. Sounds fun.
posted by ihaveyourfoot at 2:55 AM on April 28, 2015