I can quit my miserable job — but should I?
April 24, 2015 11:35 AM Subscribe
I started a new job a little over a year ago. After starting I realized the job (and company culture) was not for me, but it is very "prestigious," I liked my coworkers and found it tolerable, at least, so decided to stay. After a series of management shakeups and horrendous treatment of my department, all of my coworkers have left... leaving only me. I can quit, but should I?
To keep this general, I work in a creative industry where the tide is turning towards contract work and freelancing — that's where the innovation and entrepreneurship is, and that's where I ultimately see myself. I left a small company to come work at my current job because I was swayed by the big name (silly me) and promises that the company was really trying to do new, cool things in our field.
They're not. The work I do is not fulfilling, and I really feel like I'm working at one of the companies that's bringing my industry down, not raising it up. But it does look good on my resume, and my mom is really proud of me, and my immediate coworkers are amazing, wonderful, smart men and women, so I stayed.
However, in 2015 things have changed dramatically: My hiring manager was fired and they refused to hire a replacement for him for months, in the meantime ignoring all nonessential inquiries from our team and scheduling — and then canceling — meetings with us. Finally they laid down the orders from on high that our team was being divided into several departments.
My new supervisor is ... difficult, to say the least. He has revoked almost all of the duties I was hired to do (and historically perform very well!), and every time he promises me new ones, he just ends up doing them himself. This repeats indefinitely. He expects me to come in an hour earlier and stay an hour later than before — and I already had long hours. Most of that time is spent sitting there waiting for his responses, because he's so backlogged in work he won't let anyone else do. We're no longer allowed any independence in our creative process, because every step is dictated by him. Plus: Chances are good he'll change anything you do later without telling you why (or even that he did it.) Other people he manages took me and my coworker out for drinks when we got reassigned just to say that panicking for a month after joining his team is normal (also, to tell us they're all trying to leave). Generally, he's passive aggressive and brusque and really difficult to work with and treats me like an assistant, not the senior position I am.
Morale is low. I've fallen into a depression and am relying more than I'd like to on substances just so I don't cry all night, every night. I'm not doing well.
So, quit, right? Except almost all of my original department already has, including my only immediate coworker. As soon as he leaves, I'm the only person on my team, handling all of the creative work under the supervision of my boss. But since all of my enjoyable responsibilities are gone, the work is soul-sucking. The job is nothing but a creative farm.
And suddenly his sneering passive-aggression has turned to cheery supportiveness — a total 180 in just the 24 hours since my coworker quit. Now he is all nice! and smiles! and cheerful! and I'm pretty sure he just realizes I'm the only one left and he needs me, because it feels as fake as a Madame Tussauds. But it's totally working, because it makes me feel more optimistic... until I remember that he acted like this when we first came on our team, and things quickly turned for the worse.
I've been trying to leave, too — my coworkers just beat me to the punch. I've been scrambling to work up a freelance client list and, thanks in no small part to the big name I'm working for now, I've been able to do so. I'm getting so many clients. It's ridiculous. I feel truly honored and like I'm finally achieving a turning point in my career. I estimate that in two weeks, I could quit and make more freelancing than I do right now. I have some experience freelancing and know, financially, this is realistic (aka I understand freelancing taxes). Plus that's my ultimate goal! I'd have time to work on all my projects!
But all the sudden Mr. Nice-Boss makes me feel really bad. If I quit, I really would leave them in the lurch — they'd have no creative people for the whole brand. And I'm not even quitting to go somewhere, just to freelance. I feel like that would be taken as a slap in the face. Who would do any of the work if I left? I don't like my boss, but I'd feel so bad leaving him with everything to deal with. And it's nice to think I'm the only person responsible for this big brand... even though I'm really not, because nothing I do isn't micromanaged.
What do I do? Is it terrible to leave a job when you're the only one left?
To keep this general, I work in a creative industry where the tide is turning towards contract work and freelancing — that's where the innovation and entrepreneurship is, and that's where I ultimately see myself. I left a small company to come work at my current job because I was swayed by the big name (silly me) and promises that the company was really trying to do new, cool things in our field.
They're not. The work I do is not fulfilling, and I really feel like I'm working at one of the companies that's bringing my industry down, not raising it up. But it does look good on my resume, and my mom is really proud of me, and my immediate coworkers are amazing, wonderful, smart men and women, so I stayed.
However, in 2015 things have changed dramatically: My hiring manager was fired and they refused to hire a replacement for him for months, in the meantime ignoring all nonessential inquiries from our team and scheduling — and then canceling — meetings with us. Finally they laid down the orders from on high that our team was being divided into several departments.
My new supervisor is ... difficult, to say the least. He has revoked almost all of the duties I was hired to do (and historically perform very well!), and every time he promises me new ones, he just ends up doing them himself. This repeats indefinitely. He expects me to come in an hour earlier and stay an hour later than before — and I already had long hours. Most of that time is spent sitting there waiting for his responses, because he's so backlogged in work he won't let anyone else do. We're no longer allowed any independence in our creative process, because every step is dictated by him. Plus: Chances are good he'll change anything you do later without telling you why (or even that he did it.) Other people he manages took me and my coworker out for drinks when we got reassigned just to say that panicking for a month after joining his team is normal (also, to tell us they're all trying to leave). Generally, he's passive aggressive and brusque and really difficult to work with and treats me like an assistant, not the senior position I am.
Morale is low. I've fallen into a depression and am relying more than I'd like to on substances just so I don't cry all night, every night. I'm not doing well.
So, quit, right? Except almost all of my original department already has, including my only immediate coworker. As soon as he leaves, I'm the only person on my team, handling all of the creative work under the supervision of my boss. But since all of my enjoyable responsibilities are gone, the work is soul-sucking. The job is nothing but a creative farm.
And suddenly his sneering passive-aggression has turned to cheery supportiveness — a total 180 in just the 24 hours since my coworker quit. Now he is all nice! and smiles! and cheerful! and I'm pretty sure he just realizes I'm the only one left and he needs me, because it feels as fake as a Madame Tussauds. But it's totally working, because it makes me feel more optimistic... until I remember that he acted like this when we first came on our team, and things quickly turned for the worse.
I've been trying to leave, too — my coworkers just beat me to the punch. I've been scrambling to work up a freelance client list and, thanks in no small part to the big name I'm working for now, I've been able to do so. I'm getting so many clients. It's ridiculous. I feel truly honored and like I'm finally achieving a turning point in my career. I estimate that in two weeks, I could quit and make more freelancing than I do right now. I have some experience freelancing and know, financially, this is realistic (aka I understand freelancing taxes). Plus that's my ultimate goal! I'd have time to work on all my projects!
But all the sudden Mr. Nice-Boss makes me feel really bad. If I quit, I really would leave them in the lurch — they'd have no creative people for the whole brand. And I'm not even quitting to go somewhere, just to freelance. I feel like that would be taken as a slap in the face. Who would do any of the work if I left? I don't like my boss, but I'd feel so bad leaving him with everything to deal with. And it's nice to think I'm the only person responsible for this big brand... even though I'm really not, because nothing I do isn't micromanaged.
What do I do? Is it terrible to leave a job when you're the only one left?
Leave. Now. You do not owe them anything. The day after you're gone, Mr. Nice-Boss will go to HIS boss and ask for a budget to go out and hire freelancers. A week later he won't remember your name. You've been there over a year, in the kind of industry you're describing this isn't even a short tenure. Anybody who could give you a real reference has already left (you are in touch with them, aren't you?). You're miserable. What is the upside of staying?
posted by mr vino at 11:42 AM on April 24, 2015 [13 favorites]
posted by mr vino at 11:42 AM on April 24, 2015 [13 favorites]
Turn in your two weeks notice immediately.
The reason why you are the only one left is because they are terrible. That's not your fault, and not your responsibility.
Be freeeeeeeeeee!
posted by sparklemotion at 11:43 AM on April 24, 2015 [6 favorites]
The reason why you are the only one left is because they are terrible. That's not your fault, and not your responsibility.
Be freeeeeeeeeee!
posted by sparklemotion at 11:43 AM on April 24, 2015 [6 favorites]
It's not your responsibility to save a company that has been self-sabotaging for a long period of time. If NiceBoss takes it personally THEN GREAT maybe he'll see that 24 hours of nice isn't enough to make up for forever of notnice.
It might be a hassle for him, but that's not your fault or responsibility. You need not -- you cannot -- fix a toxic company, you can only suffer from it.
Go.
posted by janey47 at 11:43 AM on April 24, 2015 [9 favorites]
It might be a hassle for him, but that's not your fault or responsibility. You need not -- you cannot -- fix a toxic company, you can only suffer from it.
Go.
posted by janey47 at 11:43 AM on April 24, 2015 [9 favorites]
If I was in your position, with the contacts and the outlook that you've got right now (seriously!) I'd gtfo so hard it'd make the windows rattle. You said so yourself:
posted by sacramental excrementum at 11:43 AM on April 24, 2015 [4 favorites]
"...because nothing I do isn't micromanaged."Honestly, you make a pretty good case for quitting here. If you needed support for your decision, you've certainly got it from this stranger on the internet—screw them!
posted by sacramental excrementum at 11:43 AM on April 24, 2015 [4 favorites]
Your boss's niceness is a weapon he's choosing to wield against you. There's nothing sincere about it. You have my permission to quit with absolutely no remorse.
You do have another option, though. The reason your boss is suddenly nice is because he is afraid. He knows you can leave, and he doesn't want you to. This puts you in a position of power over him, and gives you an opening to make demands. Tell him what you want from this job, and make it thoroughly clear that if he doesn't comply, you're walking. Watch him crumble.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:44 AM on April 24, 2015 [15 favorites]
You do have another option, though. The reason your boss is suddenly nice is because he is afraid. He knows you can leave, and he doesn't want you to. This puts you in a position of power over him, and gives you an opening to make demands. Tell him what you want from this job, and make it thoroughly clear that if he doesn't comply, you're walking. Watch him crumble.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:44 AM on April 24, 2015 [15 favorites]
Reframe this question. What are the benefits to you, personally, if you stay? Act in your own best interest where career is concerned.
Also, when thinking about work, please remember: You are replaceable. Your boss will replace you the second it becomes clear he needs to. You are not in any way responsible for the success or failure of the company or of your boss. It is in the company's best interest to keep you because that's what's easiest for them right now, but they are not concerned with the success of your career or with your happiness, only your work output. The company would not feel bad about letting you go if your work no longer fit their needs or your salary no longer fit their budget.
Leave graciously and with plenty of notice. Offer to assist in interviewing your replacement and training them. Don't burn any bridges.
posted by erst at 11:44 AM on April 24, 2015 [8 favorites]
Also, when thinking about work, please remember: You are replaceable. Your boss will replace you the second it becomes clear he needs to. You are not in any way responsible for the success or failure of the company or of your boss. It is in the company's best interest to keep you because that's what's easiest for them right now, but they are not concerned with the success of your career or with your happiness, only your work output. The company would not feel bad about letting you go if your work no longer fit their needs or your salary no longer fit their budget.
Leave graciously and with plenty of notice. Offer to assist in interviewing your replacement and training them. Don't burn any bridges.
posted by erst at 11:44 AM on April 24, 2015 [8 favorites]
It's a job, not a love affair. You don't owe your boss anything but professional etiquette. You need to do what's right for you, not stick around where you feel miserable and unfulfilled because you feel bad for some jerk who drove everyone else to quit. Don't be the chump.
posted by amro at 11:44 AM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by amro at 11:44 AM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
But all the sudden Mr. Nice-Boss makes me feel really bad. If I quit, I really would leave them in the lurch — they'd have no creative people for the whole brand. And I'm not even quitting to go somewhere, just to freelance. I feel like that would be taken as a slap in the face. Who would do any of the work if I left? I don't like my boss, but I'd feel so bad leaving him with everything to deal with. And it's nice to think I'm the only person responsible for this big brand... even though I'm really not, because nothing I do isn't micromanaged.
What do I do? Is it terrible to leave a job when you're the only one left?
They didn't care when they sadled you with an ineffective, unprofessional manger. Why you should you care when you leave? Just be professional and vague about where you're off to next and try to maintain connections with the people you do respect in the org.
posted by edbles at 11:44 AM on April 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
What do I do? Is it terrible to leave a job when you're the only one left?
They didn't care when they sadled you with an ineffective, unprofessional manger. Why you should you care when you leave? Just be professional and vague about where you're off to next and try to maintain connections with the people you do respect in the org.
posted by edbles at 11:44 AM on April 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
You should never not do what you want to do because you are worried about your company. They would fire you tomorrow if they felt it would help them. And since it doesn't sound as though you want references from your new boss, and it sounds like you will not be jobless but instead move into freelancing, then yes, quit. If you're unhappy, and your boss kissing your ass doesn't fix you being unhappy, then it really doesn't matter, right?
Personally, if I were on the fence, I'd try to leverage the situation into a huge raise and a clearly detailed change in your working conditions and treatment. If they don't agree to it, I'd just quit like I originally planned.
posted by AppleTurnover at 11:44 AM on April 24, 2015 [4 favorites]
Personally, if I were on the fence, I'd try to leverage the situation into a huge raise and a clearly detailed change in your working conditions and treatment. If they don't agree to it, I'd just quit like I originally planned.
posted by AppleTurnover at 11:44 AM on April 24, 2015 [4 favorites]
I'd ask for a significant raise. Whatever would make staying worth it.
If you get it, great.
If it's turned down, walk.
posted by entropone at 11:45 AM on April 24, 2015 [10 favorites]
If you get it, great.
If it's turned down, walk.
posted by entropone at 11:45 AM on April 24, 2015 [10 favorites]
A company that would fail if just a single employee left is already a failed company. Employees leave for many reasons that are entirely unrelated to work environment or work satisfaction - they may want to move to another area, they may be injured outside of work, they may retire, they may win the lottery, or they may decide to pursue another career. In other words, even the perfect employer (which doesn't exist, and is not your employer) needs to plan for, and be prepared for, employees leaving at any time.
If your company can't handle that, they can't handle their business, and will fail whether or not you leave.
So, either you actually are indispensable to the company operation - in which case you should quit, because the company will fail - or you aren't (which is very likely) - in which case you should quit, because you have better options available, at more pay and better hours.
What do I do?
Quit, but only after you can prove the viability of your freelancing business. Clients are easy to find. Clients that provide continuing work, pay well, and pay on time are not easy to find. If you can find them, you should leave. However, until you find them, you are dependent on your current employer for your livelihood.
You should not quit without a viable plan. Instead, you should do exactly your job, nothing more, and simply ignore requests to do anything else. You may end up getting fired (which seems quite unlikely given your position), but at least then you'll be able to get unemployment. Until you're fired, you can solidify your freelancing plans. Learn to say "no, that won't be possible." What're they going to do? Fire you?
posted by saeculorum at 11:45 AM on April 24, 2015 [7 favorites]
If your company can't handle that, they can't handle their business, and will fail whether or not you leave.
So, either you actually are indispensable to the company operation - in which case you should quit, because the company will fail - or you aren't (which is very likely) - in which case you should quit, because you have better options available, at more pay and better hours.
What do I do?
Quit, but only after you can prove the viability of your freelancing business. Clients are easy to find. Clients that provide continuing work, pay well, and pay on time are not easy to find. If you can find them, you should leave. However, until you find them, you are dependent on your current employer for your livelihood.
You should not quit without a viable plan. Instead, you should do exactly your job, nothing more, and simply ignore requests to do anything else. You may end up getting fired (which seems quite unlikely given your position), but at least then you'll be able to get unemployment. Until you're fired, you can solidify your freelancing plans. Learn to say "no, that won't be possible." What're they going to do? Fire you?
posted by saeculorum at 11:45 AM on April 24, 2015 [7 favorites]
If I quit, I really would leave them in the lurch — they'd have no creative people for the whole brand.
This is their problem, not yours. The reason they don't have any creative people left is because they drove them away.
And I'm not even quitting to go somewhere, just to freelance. I feel like that would be taken as a slap in the face. Who would do any of the work if I left?
The next chump they hire would do the work. You are not a special snowflake who is the only person in the whole world qualified to do this work.
posted by joan_holloway at 11:49 AM on April 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
This is their problem, not yours. The reason they don't have any creative people left is because they drove them away.
And I'm not even quitting to go somewhere, just to freelance. I feel like that would be taken as a slap in the face. Who would do any of the work if I left?
The next chump they hire would do the work. You are not a special snowflake who is the only person in the whole world qualified to do this work.
posted by joan_holloway at 11:49 AM on April 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
If you are this conscientious toward whomever you are working for, by freelancing you can switch out this yahoo for other clients and projects that you select. But look at the loyalty and it sounds like unused creativity that you have now, and apply it to other projects/brands/companies.
If I quit, I really would leave them in the lurch — they'd have no creative people for the whole brand.
Well, you could leave them your card when you go. Tell them your rates. Make sure it is 2 to 3 X your current hourly rate. I would also limit it to one revision, revisions will occur at your hourly rate. That way if Mr. Yahoo wants to work with you - hey, he can do all the micromanaging that he wants, and you get to cash in on it (although I tend to fire these types of clients, YMMV).
Just mentioning this if it hasn't occurred to you. You are in the perfect place and setting to grab new clients; in this case, your former coworkers. Keep in contact with them. Let them know that you are going freelance.
This was actually how I started freelancing. To your colleagues, you are a known entity and they probably like your work. They will also have some bitterness toward your current manager, and might be more likely to find projects for you.
Good luck!
posted by Wolfster at 11:58 AM on April 24, 2015 [16 favorites]
If I quit, I really would leave them in the lurch — they'd have no creative people for the whole brand.
Well, you could leave them your card when you go. Tell them your rates. Make sure it is 2 to 3 X your current hourly rate. I would also limit it to one revision, revisions will occur at your hourly rate. That way if Mr. Yahoo wants to work with you - hey, he can do all the micromanaging that he wants, and you get to cash in on it (although I tend to fire these types of clients, YMMV).
Just mentioning this if it hasn't occurred to you. You are in the perfect place and setting to grab new clients; in this case, your former coworkers. Keep in contact with them. Let them know that you are going freelance.
This was actually how I started freelancing. To your colleagues, you are a known entity and they probably like your work. They will also have some bitterness toward your current manager, and might be more likely to find projects for you.
Good luck!
posted by Wolfster at 11:58 AM on April 24, 2015 [16 favorites]
Oh my lord, quit!! This:
If I quit, I really would leave them in the lurch — they'd have no creative people for the whole brand.
is the reason they should not have treated you like total shit. It's not a reason for you to continue to subject yourself to them! If you had nothing lined up, I'd say maybe stick it out as long as you can while trying as hard as possible to find a new gig. But it sounds like you have things figured out on the money front in terms of quitting. So just go already! You're not a slave or a servant; you don't owe your labor to this one particular company just because it would be inconvenient for them if you quit.
posted by rainbowbrite at 12:05 PM on April 24, 2015 [8 favorites]
If I quit, I really would leave them in the lurch — they'd have no creative people for the whole brand.
is the reason they should not have treated you like total shit. It's not a reason for you to continue to subject yourself to them! If you had nothing lined up, I'd say maybe stick it out as long as you can while trying as hard as possible to find a new gig. But it sounds like you have things figured out on the money front in terms of quitting. So just go already! You're not a slave or a servant; you don't owe your labor to this one particular company just because it would be inconvenient for them if you quit.
posted by rainbowbrite at 12:05 PM on April 24, 2015 [8 favorites]
Oh God. I once worked for someone like this. You have to go. Whether you stay or go, he will ultimately bring things down from the inside with short-term, unsustainable thinking. The guy I'm thinking of, he eventually rolled up all the duties like a Katamari at his last company, subsisting with a staff of malleable, impressionable interns and freelancers—no one who could challenge his authority, basically. He left by selling my company on how essential he could be to them—and look, there was the proof, his former company literally collapsed when he left. See how essential he was?
He came to my company and proceeded to take it down the same path. It's dangerous to go it alone with guys like this, and you shouldn't.
P.S. He's not actually nice. He just wants you to think he's nice so you'll do what he wants.
posted by limeonaire at 12:11 PM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
He came to my company and proceeded to take it down the same path. It's dangerous to go it alone with guys like this, and you shouldn't.
P.S. He's not actually nice. He just wants you to think he's nice so you'll do what he wants.
posted by limeonaire at 12:11 PM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
What happens to the company after you quit is not your responsibility. Everybody thinks the world will collapse when they leave a job, but it doesn't. Or if it does, probably a good thing that you quit, right?
Just go. You're unhappy, and these mind games by your terrible boss aren't helping.
posted by xingcat at 12:30 PM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
Just go. You're unhappy, and these mind games by your terrible boss aren't helping.
posted by xingcat at 12:30 PM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
Leave, leave now, they'd fire you in a heartbeat if it suited them to. Any problems you leave them with are of their own making, they knew creative people were leaving but did nothing, what happens because of their bad decisions are not your concern.
posted by wwax at 12:30 PM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by wwax at 12:30 PM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
What is it you mistakenly think not quitting is buying you? A company is not a person; it has no loyalty, no gratitude. Don't think it does. Jump. Jump now.
posted by DarlingBri at 12:39 PM on April 24, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by DarlingBri at 12:39 PM on April 24, 2015 [5 favorites]
anonymous: If I quit, I really would leave them in the lurch
I think most conscientious people go through this when contemplating leaving a job that's gone south; I know I have. But always remember this: If the shoe were on the other foot and they were thinking about laying you off, there would be no hesitation whatsoever. There would be no "If we fire him, we'd really be leaving him in the lurch." You don't owe them anything beyond two weeks notice.
Re: suggestions to try asking for a huge raise, unless it were a preposterously huge raise I wouldn't do it, and maybe not even then; if things have unravelled so far that you're thinking about quitting for your own mental health and well-being, they're bad enough that you need to just get out. I once gave notice at a job that started out as one of the best I've ever had, but went to hell when the company underwent a huge expansion. My unctuous new manager (one of the reasons I was giving notice) took me to an uncomfortable lunch at a very nice restaurant and offered me a substantial raise to stay, and I was surprised by how... dirty it made me feel.
(All of that being said, I also second suggestions not to quit until you're sure you've got either enough sustainable freelance work or another full-time gig lined up.)
posted by usonian at 12:40 PM on April 24, 2015 [4 favorites]
I think most conscientious people go through this when contemplating leaving a job that's gone south; I know I have. But always remember this: If the shoe were on the other foot and they were thinking about laying you off, there would be no hesitation whatsoever. There would be no "If we fire him, we'd really be leaving him in the lurch." You don't owe them anything beyond two weeks notice.
Re: suggestions to try asking for a huge raise, unless it were a preposterously huge raise I wouldn't do it, and maybe not even then; if things have unravelled so far that you're thinking about quitting for your own mental health and well-being, they're bad enough that you need to just get out. I once gave notice at a job that started out as one of the best I've ever had, but went to hell when the company underwent a huge expansion. My unctuous new manager (one of the reasons I was giving notice) took me to an uncomfortable lunch at a very nice restaurant and offered me a substantial raise to stay, and I was surprised by how... dirty it made me feel.
(All of that being said, I also second suggestions not to quit until you're sure you've got either enough sustainable freelance work or another full-time gig lined up.)
posted by usonian at 12:40 PM on April 24, 2015 [4 favorites]
You don't owe them anything beyond two weeks notice.
You don't even owe them two weeks' notice. That's just a courtesy. But yes, get your ducks in a row first.
posted by limeonaire at 12:48 PM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
You don't even owe them two weeks' notice. That's just a courtesy. But yes, get your ducks in a row first.
posted by limeonaire at 12:48 PM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
Mod note: This is a followup from the asker.
Thanks for all of the responses. I did originally plan to stay and work freelance on the side, saving up enough money to make the transition smooth. However, I'm not sure that's possible — I can't start working for the company that will become my biggest client until I quit, as my work there would be directly competing with work I do now. They want me to start immediately right now (I literally just got off a phone call where they reinstated repeatedly that they want me ASAP). So I don't think that's a possibility.posted by cortex (staff) at 12:50 PM on April 24, 2015 [6 favorites]
The first few months will be rough going as I wait for checks to roll in but I am confident with the response I've gotten in just a few weeks of hustling that I can find enough work to survive, if not even prosper.
This has been really reassuring. I feel tons better.
I estimate that in two weeks, I could quit and make more freelancing than I do right now. I have some experience freelancing and know, financially, this is realistic (aka I understand freelancing taxes). Plus that's my ultimate goal! I'd have time to work on all my projects!
So in two weeks, quit and make more doing your goal job and also have time to do your personal projects. If you want to be extra nice to keep your bridge unburnt, offer four weeks notice instead of two, but work normal 40 hour weeks during that period.
posted by jeather at 12:56 PM on April 24, 2015
So in two weeks, quit and make more doing your goal job and also have time to do your personal projects. If you want to be extra nice to keep your bridge unburnt, offer four weeks notice instead of two, but work normal 40 hour weeks during that period.
posted by jeather at 12:56 PM on April 24, 2015
limeonaire: You don't even owe them two weeks' notice. That's just a courtesy.
That is true. Hopefully this related enough to the OP not to be chatfilter: It was long enough ago that I barely remember the names of anyone I worked with, but I still feel shitty about the one time I walked off a job cold even though I know I was entirely justified. Putting up with it for two more weeks would have been worth a clear conscience all these years later.
posted by usonian at 12:56 PM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
That is true. Hopefully this related enough to the OP not to be chatfilter: It was long enough ago that I barely remember the names of anyone I worked with, but I still feel shitty about the one time I walked off a job cold even though I know I was entirely justified. Putting up with it for two more weeks would have been worth a clear conscience all these years later.
posted by usonian at 12:56 PM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
Whoops, missed your followup. Don't offer four weeks, and don't quit in two weeks, then, quit now and offer the standard two weeks and work 40 hours during those two weeks only.
posted by jeather at 12:57 PM on April 24, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by jeather at 12:57 PM on April 24, 2015 [3 favorites]
Put your two-weeks notice in today. Work exactly 10 more days, no overtime. Come in at the usual time (meaning, not the hour earlier than he wanted) and leave at the normal time (meaning, not the extra hour in the evening.) Congrats -- you're about to have a great new life!!
posted by BlahLaLa at 1:02 PM on April 24, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by BlahLaLa at 1:02 PM on April 24, 2015 [8 favorites]
And I'm not even quitting to go somewhere, just to freelance. I feel like that would be taken as a slap in the face.
It is 1000% not their business what you do after you leave as long as you're not selling their secrets. You can go home and stare at a wall and it should not affect them at all because they are not paying you anymore. But freelancing is "going somewhere"! You are moving on to another job that is better for you. They are the ones that made this job worse for you.
posted by soelo at 1:04 PM on April 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
It is 1000% not their business what you do after you leave as long as you're not selling their secrets. You can go home and stare at a wall and it should not affect them at all because they are not paying you anymore. But freelancing is "going somewhere"! You are moving on to another job that is better for you. They are the ones that made this job worse for you.
posted by soelo at 1:04 PM on April 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
I still feel shitty about the one time I walked off a job cold even though I know I was entirely justified.
Whereas I feel no remorse at all over the one time I did that. The job started out as tolerable, and new policies were introduced that slowly made it intolerable. When a new batch of thoroughly awful rules came down from on high and the proverbial camel's back finally broke, I burned all of my PTO to take two days off. I then came back to the office, learned that the new rules had not been repealed, and quit forty minutes before my shift was due to start. No regrets whatsoever.
Anecdotes, data, all that. Sorry for the derail.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:05 PM on April 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
Whereas I feel no remorse at all over the one time I did that. The job started out as tolerable, and new policies were introduced that slowly made it intolerable. When a new batch of thoroughly awful rules came down from on high and the proverbial camel's back finally broke, I burned all of my PTO to take two days off. I then came back to the office, learned that the new rules had not been repealed, and quit forty minutes before my shift was due to start. No regrets whatsoever.
Anecdotes, data, all that. Sorry for the derail.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:05 PM on April 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
I have been deeply lucky to work mostly in decent workplaces that treat their people pretty fairly and don't fuck them around or mismanage them.
But every so often I read stuff like this and I re-read this excellent essay about sick systems and I reassure myself that if I saw the signs I would get the fuck out so fast I'd leave nothing but a puff of dust.
So yeah, quit. Fuck 'em. They'd fire you in a heartbeat if it conferred any advantage on them whatsoever. You owe them nothing.
posted by Happy Dave at 1:42 PM on April 24, 2015 [3 favorites]
But every so often I read stuff like this and I re-read this excellent essay about sick systems and I reassure myself that if I saw the signs I would get the fuck out so fast I'd leave nothing but a puff of dust.
So yeah, quit. Fuck 'em. They'd fire you in a heartbeat if it conferred any advantage on them whatsoever. You owe them nothing.
posted by Happy Dave at 1:42 PM on April 24, 2015 [3 favorites]
You should never not do what you want to do because you are worried about your company. They would fire you tomorrow if they felt it would help them.
QFT. Did the company worry about you when they moved this manager in and created a toxic work environment that's driven away every other good employee? NOPE. So... why do you care so much about the company? Don't worry about the company. As you said, the company is prestigious. They're going to be just fine when you quit, which you should do immediately if you enjoy things like not hating life and not crying every morning before you have to go to your job that used to rule but is now shitty and sucking the will to live right out of you.
posted by palomar at 2:39 PM on April 24, 2015
QFT. Did the company worry about you when they moved this manager in and created a toxic work environment that's driven away every other good employee? NOPE. So... why do you care so much about the company? Don't worry about the company. As you said, the company is prestigious. They're going to be just fine when you quit, which you should do immediately if you enjoy things like not hating life and not crying every morning before you have to go to your job that used to rule but is now shitty and sucking the will to live right out of you.
posted by palomar at 2:39 PM on April 24, 2015
> The first few months will be rough going as I wait for checks to roll in
If Prospective Biggest Client is as interested in you as they say, want you ASAP, etc, it might be worthwhile to have a chat with them to see if they could pay you a couple weeks work up front, expedite their checks for the first few weeks, give you a little sign-on bonus, or generally do something else concrete to help ease the transition that you're looking at.
Maybe they'll say no, but it still might be worth an ask. The way to pitch it might be something like like, I also want to start working for you ASAP, there are X obstacles in the way of that happening, can you help overcome those so that we can both have what we want ASAP?
posted by flug at 2:45 PM on April 24, 2015 [3 favorites]
If Prospective Biggest Client is as interested in you as they say, want you ASAP, etc, it might be worthwhile to have a chat with them to see if they could pay you a couple weeks work up front, expedite their checks for the first few weeks, give you a little sign-on bonus, or generally do something else concrete to help ease the transition that you're looking at.
Maybe they'll say no, but it still might be worth an ask. The way to pitch it might be something like like, I also want to start working for you ASAP, there are X obstacles in the way of that happening, can you help overcome those so that we can both have what we want ASAP?
posted by flug at 2:45 PM on April 24, 2015 [3 favorites]
Go. After being under a crappy micromanager, it will be delightful to gain back the control you lost.
posted by nickggully at 3:10 PM on April 24, 2015
posted by nickggully at 3:10 PM on April 24, 2015
He expects me to come in an hour earlier and stay an hour later than before — and I already had long hours.
Hey, whatever you do, don't put up with this anymore. Your working hours are clear boundaries. You don't need to hang around for Mr. Suddenly Nice Manager to deign to send you an email, especially if you're leaving soon.
Put in your two weeks, work your standard hours, enjoy freelancing.
posted by deludingmyself at 3:17 PM on April 24, 2015
Hey, whatever you do, don't put up with this anymore. Your working hours are clear boundaries. You don't need to hang around for Mr. Suddenly Nice Manager to deign to send you an email, especially if you're leaving soon.
Put in your two weeks, work your standard hours, enjoy freelancing.
posted by deludingmyself at 3:17 PM on April 24, 2015
I'd say don't abide a toxic workplace especially if you can do it with so little pain. Do whatever it takes to leave.
posted by yoHighness at 3:46 PM on April 24, 2015
posted by yoHighness at 3:46 PM on April 24, 2015
He's only being nice because you, Obi-wan, are his only hope to rescue him from the world of suck that he has created.
I've been there. My job (and the other jobs I did) still got done after I left. The company still rolled on in its usual miserable fashion.
Put in your two weeks and fly, birdie!
posted by kimberussell at 4:04 PM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
I've been there. My job (and the other jobs I did) still got done after I left. The company still rolled on in its usual miserable fashion.
Put in your two weeks and fly, birdie!
posted by kimberussell at 4:04 PM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
Think about it this way, if you care so much about the company: you will be providing them some valuable "lessons learned." Challenges are just opportunities waiting to be seized. (For instance, the opportunity to find better managers!) They spur innovation. (For instance, in who fills your manager's position!) Now, that's adding value and being a true team player. Don't hold them back from the bright future that awaits.
posted by salvia at 7:17 PM on April 24, 2015
posted by salvia at 7:17 PM on April 24, 2015
When your cohort all leaves, it's a sign from god: Your Time Here is Done.
posted by ovvl at 7:44 PM on April 24, 2015
posted by ovvl at 7:44 PM on April 24, 2015
This was me five months ago. I stayed for two long months finishing a project for the major client they were about to lose, and then jumped ship to the form that major client moved to. I am sooooooo much happier, and you will be too.
posted by infinitewindow at 11:07 PM on April 24, 2015
posted by infinitewindow at 11:07 PM on April 24, 2015
Hi guys! OP here. Now that I've quit my job, I'm less concerned about anonymity.
Anyway: I did it! Boss took it poorly — said I was putting the company in a "shitty situation." Oh well. I've got two weeks left and they might be miserable but there is light at the end of the tunnel. It was you all that helped me build up the nerve to do it, so THANK YOU.
posted by good day merlock at 9:16 AM on April 29, 2015 [10 favorites]
Anyway: I did it! Boss took it poorly — said I was putting the company in a "shitty situation." Oh well. I've got two weeks left and they might be miserable but there is light at the end of the tunnel. It was you all that helped me build up the nerve to do it, so THANK YOU.
posted by good day merlock at 9:16 AM on April 29, 2015 [10 favorites]
Congratulations and well done.
And it was your boss, not you, who put the company in a shitty situation.
posted by Happy Dave at 9:21 AM on April 29, 2015
And it was your boss, not you, who put the company in a shitty situation.
posted by Happy Dave at 9:21 AM on April 29, 2015
Good for you!! I'm glad you quit and that you've got better things on the horizon.
Seconding what Happy Dave said--your (ex)boss is trying to shift the blame to you for making things shitty.
Hopefully, this final response from your boss is just extra confirmation that you did the right thing. Nothing would have improved if you had stayed, and here's the proof.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 2:43 PM on May 10, 2015
Seconding what Happy Dave said--your (ex)boss is trying to shift the blame to you for making things shitty.
Hopefully, this final response from your boss is just extra confirmation that you did the right thing. Nothing would have improved if you had stayed, and here's the proof.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 2:43 PM on May 10, 2015
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posted by rtha at 11:42 AM on April 24, 2015 [54 favorites]