What Should I Do When I Give My Elderly Parents an iPad?
April 14, 2015 12:27 PM   Subscribe

My sister and I are planning on giving our parents a combined Mother's and Father's Day gift of an iPad. What can I/we do to help ease their transition from Luddites into users of tablet computers and the Internet?

My parents are nearly the ultimate Luddites. My mother's in her mid-70s, my father in his late 70s, and neither of them are computer savvy, to say the least. The only computer experience my father has lately is working the 2000-era system to help customers over at the antique shop he co-owns, and my mother has only used an ATM once on their 50th anniversary trip to New England over two years ago (and not ever since). Neither knows a thing about the Internet, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram ... none of that stuff ... whereas I have 30+ years of experience.

My mother will be the most likely user of the device. She's an avid reader. They both enjoy movies. Dad's a woodworker and furniture restorer and likes jigsaw puzzles and the NFL.

I'll be visiting them next week to supervise the installation of cable Internet at their home, bring them the iPad, and start setting them up with the basics of Internet and Apple product life. I guess the thing I'm looking for is how best to put the training wheels on this device for them, so that when I leave after the weekend's done, it doesn't end up like the iPad in this commercial. I'm looking for recommendations for essential apps (though I probably know most of those), good games, and other essential entertainment items. Free stuff without ads is preferred. As for physical supplies, I wonder about iPad cases, maybe books, etc. Any help the great hivemind of Metafilter can provide would be appreciated. Thanks!
posted by skitchen to Computers & Internet (19 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
Figure out how they can check out books from the library to read on it! My library system uses the Overdrive app, which isn't the prettiest interface but it's easy enough. It's exciting to get the message that a book I've placed on hold is now magically on my device waiting to be read.
posted by padraigin at 12:30 PM on April 14, 2015 [3 favorites]


You might want to setup up an email / facetime / facebook account and keep a copy of all the pertient information yourself. Then hand it to them ready to go. You can then drop shortcuts on the screen for "writing a letter (email)", "pictures of family (facebook or your social networking of choice)", etc.
posted by nickggully at 12:39 PM on April 14, 2015 [2 favorites]


Be prepared that this may not be a thing they want to learn and deal with.

I let my 73 year old dad borrow my iPad once, in a coffeeshop. I expected him to fall in love with it. Instead, after about 3 minutes, he was ready to sail it through the nearest window. That was the beginning and the other me of iPaddom for him.
posted by spinifex23 at 12:40 PM on April 14, 2015


My sister has given my luddite parents kindles and an ipad. I know they tried using the kindles for a while, they like to travel and thought it would be nice. I know one of them broke the screen on one and I bet they can't put their hands on the other. I think my mother has tried using the ipad a few times, but that's it.

They read newpapers. They use a gps. they get out library books. These bits of technology that we find necessary really are not necessary for the older generation. They are just frustration creating devices for my folks. Nothing is intuitive about them and then the battery has run out the next time they decide to try again.

buy them theater tickets or a meal at a good restaurant.
posted by mearls at 1:21 PM on April 14, 2015 [4 favorites]


Set up chrome remote desktop so you can log in to their computer and have them plug the iPad in so you can manage updates, file transfers, etc.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 1:25 PM on April 14, 2015 [1 favorite]


I did something similar for my mother-in-law. I didn't get an iPad, but did get a low-end Android device. Personally, I think this is a better option because (1) it costs a lot less and (2) I could customize it to make it super-simple to use.

I set up shortcuts for everything. Every movie, every book, every website, every game (poker, hearts and solitaire) has its own, unique shortcut. She clicks an icon and, boom, she starts doing what she wants.

She doesn't know how and isn't interested in learning how to get more books or movies or games. That's my job. Then, I set up another shortcut.
posted by nedpwolf at 1:32 PM on April 14, 2015 [1 favorite]


I've heard that gloves with a single finger cut off can be a good way of using a touch device without accidentally moving things with other fingers, the sides of your palm, etc... It also makes it easier to hold the device. Pre-install some games they already know and a jigsaw game. Don't focus too much on the internet and things they're unaware of; look at ways the device can help them with things they already enjoy.
posted by Deoridhe at 1:41 PM on April 14, 2015


One of the best pieces of advice I can give is to keep it simple with them. If you can avoid asking them to create an Apple ID (just create one similar to their email and usual password for them) and not overwhelm them about apps or anything else. Get them started on just email and taking pictures, and gradually ease them into other things that they might be interested in.

When all else fails, keep it simple
posted by arousingappetites at 1:43 PM on April 14, 2015


Expect them not to use it and not be frustrated by it. Some old people just can't/won't get it or will just believe it's too much for them, no matter how simple you make it.

If this outcome will bother you, consider a different gift.
posted by paulcole at 1:44 PM on April 14, 2015 [1 favorite]


If you install Candy Crush, that's all they will be doing with their waking time within a week. Ask me how I know this.
posted by JoeZydeco at 1:55 PM on April 14, 2015 [3 favorites]


From experience with my elderly grandma, who LOVES her ipad:

- nice weather app that isn't too complicated
- Facetime! She loves facetime!
- Sudoku
- put family photos on the photos app
- you can set it up to have a photostream from your iPhone - of just photos you designate to send to them. That's probably too much at the beginning but my grandma likes getting photos beamed to her ipad instantly :-)
- MUSIC - buy albums, or download them, so they're already in there. Streaming services are WAY way too complicated for most folks like this to figure out. You might eventually show them how to do iTunes radio. Pandora radio isn't too hard either and you could pre-set some channels.

The best thing about the ipad is telling them: you literally cannot break it by pressing the wrong button. You can break it by shattering the screen, but you won't do the wrong thing and completely nuke your computer and its data.

A stylus is helpful -- their fingers aren't as used to pointing and touching and a stylus is more precise. It's another thing to lose though.

I put a neon arrow pointing to the forward-facing camera for Facetime. It's hard to see and inevitably she'd put her finger covering the lens!

An ipad holder/pillow is really nice, if they end up using it for watching movies or anything else. They can prop it up with pillows on their lap but it's nice to have a dedicated ledge that keeps it from slipping down.

I bought my MIL a "Dummies"-type of book on how to use the iPad. She used it for a few months and now doesn't need it. But for her, it was great to have a checklist of things she could follow along with and do some VERY basic troubleshooting.

How frequently does someone visit? They do need periodic tune-ups, updates and reorganization to make sure they haven't moved everything to the 25th screen or something.

Start small. Make them want more, rather than get overwhelmed right away. Start with 2-3 apps at a time: maybe Facetime, photos and music. Then let them want to get more once they enjoy using it!
posted by barnone at 1:59 PM on April 14, 2015 [3 favorites]


First question: have you asked them if they want one?

I've tried the iPad and the Kindle Fire with my mom. She hates both of them and does not particularly want to be digitally connected. She is a bit more techie than your parents but she only uses the computer when she absolutely has to. If one of you has an iPad I'd suggest bringing it to them to use for a weekend first rather than making the investment.
posted by rednikki at 2:00 PM on April 14, 2015 [1 favorite]


Tips from trying this myself:
- a stylus is sometimes necessary - "It doesn't detect my cold bony fingers! Maybe I'm dead already, ha ha!"
- a cover or case with some kind of kickstand, so they don't have to hold it
- Set up an Apple ID, but only use Apple Store Gift Cards. Show them how to redeem one just by pointing the camera at the code on the back of the card. They can get cards at the supermarket or drugstore if they run out of that first fillup, and there's no fraud and (very little) 'did I just buy something?' risk.
- add it to your own Find My iPad in iCloud, or give yourself access to theirs. That'll at least show you a 'disconnected since last month' indicating that they've given up on it, or lost their own WiFi password or whatever.
- watching them get hooked on Games like Candy Crush is a hoot. BUT! get the paid, ad-free versions! they will NOT adjust well to being interrupted by a popup ad mid-game, or being offered CLICK HERE buttons that lead to trials of other games between levels, etc. The $5 or whatever for the full adfree version is the difference between them enjoying it vs. getting lost & frustrated with all the stupid blinkenlights and giving up on the thing.
- they can't break the software, but they can get really lost in apps and menus. Take as many apps off the home screen as you can, and keep it just to the short list they'll actually use.
-"It's only got one button on the front, and that's the get-me-out-of-here button'.
- The point of the Elder-iPad isn't to give them another computer, it's to give them something so they don't have to have a computer at all. So what they really need is...
Settings (go over connecting to WiFi several times)
Email
FaceTime
Facebook? Pinterest? Baby Pictures?
Weather
Some kind of music or radio app. (Remember, they've been listening to broadcast radio their whole lives, so they're unlikely to be impressed by customized Spotify social playlists. But show them that TuneIn can play radio stations from all over the country, and let them set several favorites, and they'll thank you.)
Games. Cards? Crosswords? Or watch them develop an Angry Birds addiction.
'The YouTubes'.
-Set the browser's home page to something they look at every day, like the local paper. And/or show them how bookmarks work, and pre-bookmark the 5 pages they use most.
posted by bartleby at 3:37 PM on April 14, 2015 [4 favorites]


Jigsaw Box is great app for jigsaw puzzles. It's free and a few of the puzzle packs are also free. The rest are $0.99-1.99 for a pack of 20 puzzles. It also lets you make your own by using photos.
The NFL has a free app (I've never used it) but I don't know how useful it is if you don't pay the $1.99 monthly fee.
You can download the iPad user guide from iBooks and show them how to use it.
posted by get off of my cloud at 4:40 PM on April 14, 2015


If you can avoid asking them to create an Apple ID (just create one similar to their email and usual password for them) and not overwhelm them about apps or anything else.

Unless you're going to give them something locked down in kiosk mode, you're better off setting these up for them and putting the username/password someplace they can access (like inside their ipad case, you are getting them a case, right?). I teach basic iPad classes as one of my jobs and there are a few avoidable failure modes that I can think of.

1. They don't know the passwords that were set up for them (or the passwords aren't all the way set up and you have to approve a payment type even if they're never going to buy a thing). Agree about the gift cards. There is a very good chance that if they have an email password, it's too simple for Apple. Make 100% certain that you write down the Apple ID, the password, the security questions, the security answers and the lockscreen code if they have one. Not on the device, on a piece of paper. I can not stress this enough.

2. They hate the input method. See if you can have them test out the on-screen keyboard and see if it's ok for them. Some people are fine with it and don't type much, some people hate it and don't really know they could get a keyboard.

3. Confusing redundant apps. Set the email ALL THE WAY UP and if the email they use has a dedicated app (gmail for example) use that and hide the email app. I have seen people with multiple email apps and they didn't really understand why they were both there. If they don't use email, skip this.

4. Confusion and isolation. See if the library or adult ed has a class. They can meet other people who are new at using the stuff and learn a few things not from you. Along these lines, I find the Dummies guides decently useful. See what the library offers in terms of ebooks and maybe getting them set up with that (a lot of this stuff is hell to set up but once it's set up it's fine)

5. Overload. Toss all the stupid apps (tips, apple watch, I don't know) in a folder so they don't even have to wonder "What is that?" Spend some time showing them where the settings are. I usually show people how to turn the thing on and off, adjust volume, lock rotation, close apps, plug in headphones and charge the thing. Consider setting them up with a charging station so they can just plug it in every night. If they have cable tv see if that has an app so they can watch tv shows from it. Same with the daily paper.

Otherwise, even though it's tough, try to let them drive. This may be a game changer for them or it just may be no fun. I see people all over the map with it and often not the people you'd expect. Good luck.
posted by jessamyn at 5:05 PM on April 14, 2015 [4 favorites]


I asked a similar question last December and got some useful answers: Pro tips for setting up iPad for elderly mom. The biggest thing that I subsequently learned was that I underestimated the learning curve for my mom to just use a touch screen. She doesn't have a smart phone, so this was her first experience with a touch screen. It took her a long time to get the hang of just touching the screen; she would either tentatively tap it very lightly (the screen wouldn't register a touch) and then wait, or touch and hold to the point she would get a context menu or some other behavior (screen would register a touch and hold). This is really hard to troubleshoot remotely, so I wish I had spent more time just on gestures like touching and swiping.
posted by kovacs at 4:02 AM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


Set them up with the iCloud account and email. Use all the features.
Ditch any other email accounts or forward them to iCloud.

Don't start downloading apps there is plenty to explore for them.

Remember its nearly impossible to screw up iOS. And the "home button" always gets you out of jail ;-)
posted by Mac-Expert at 12:37 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Dad's a woodworker and furniture restorer

Assuming your dad still does projects, he might really enjoy discovering how much woodworking-magazine type information is online — detailed project plans, tool reviews, etc.

It’s one of the few things my seventy-year-old stepfather uses the internet for, but he gets a lot out of it. He has sites bookmarked he visits regularly plus has learned to use Google well enough to find info for specific woodworking projects he’s planning.
posted by D.C. at 12:56 PM on April 15, 2015


Response by poster: Having a hard time choosing between barnone's and bartleby's answers as best, as both are really, really good!

This is a planned gift, which had been asked for, so no need to fear that way. There's still a few days before I go down and introduce it to them, and there's a lot of good suggestions here, so thank you all!
posted by skitchen at 3:03 PM on April 17, 2015


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