Rear ended- how do I move on?
March 20, 2015 3:44 PM   Subscribe

YANMD or ML. I was rear ended this morning, with minimal damage to my car. How worried should I be about physical injuries, and how can I get past my fear that every car behind me is going to hit me?

I was gently rear ended on my commute to work this morning. I was at a light that turned green, decided not to enter the intersection because it was not completely clear, while the car behind me, also waiting for the light, tried to proceed and hit me. So, a low speed collision.

The only damage to my car seems to be 2 vertical scrapes through the paint on my bumper, and I have their name, insurance information, and license plate number.

1. Doctor Google says I should be on the lookout for symptoms such as headache, fatigue, and dizziness, none of which are unusual for me. Coworker reactions ranged from "Whiplash is diagnosed only by lawyers" to "Leave this meeting and immediately go to your doctor." I imagine the reality is somewhere in between, but where?

2. How do I get over the paranoia, during the rest of my trip to work and the entire drive home, that every car behind me is another accident waiting to happen? While I recognize that I've spent over a decade as a driver and even longer as a passenger, and this has only happened once to me in thousands of car-hours, I kept tensing into fight-or-flight mode when cars pulled up behind me, which made a stressful commute even worse.
posted by casualinference to Travel & Transportation (17 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
How do I get over the paranoia, during the rest of my trip to work and the entire drive home, that every car behind me is another accident waiting to happen?

This much, at least, I have personal experience with, and while YMMV, I'm generally inclined to be very anxious and an anxious driver especially, and it really faded more quickly than I expected it to. I still get the feeling sometimes, after my only (relatively minor but noticeable and definitely caused by someone else's stupidity) accident, but for the most part I was pretty comfortable driving again after a week or two. If it persists then you might want to look into resources for dealing with anxiety, therapy, etc, but for at least a week you're within the realm of "totally normal reactions". Our brains are designed to deal with stuff like this with some heightened awareness afterwards, but the effect fades.
posted by Sequence at 4:00 PM on March 20, 2015 [2 favorites]


Hey! My partner and I were t-boned by someone coming out of a parking lot last year (on their cell phone). The car was totalled but we were mostly okay thanks to my partner's quick reflexes and the fact that there was no one in the other lane when he swerved into it. This happened almost exactly a year ago, and I still flinch a little when I see a car coming out of a parking lot/up to an intersection on my passenger side and it looks like they're going a little fast. However, I don't feel the deep welling of panic that I did at first literally every time i saw a car move out of the corner of my right eye.

So yeah. Just keep on keeping on and you will eventually find equilibrium.

ETA: Do head to the doctor if you can, if only to get it on record that you did in case any problems crop up later.
posted by torisaur at 4:07 PM on March 20, 2015


1. I got rear ended so hard a few months ago that my glasses flew off my face (which made it impossible to get the plate number of the guy who hit me and drove off, grrr). We had a green light but the car in front of me was turning right and had stopped to wait for pedestrians to clear the crosswalk. The guy behind me apparently wasn't paying attention. I was very shaken and my neck was very mildly stiff/sore for the remainder of the day. I did not go to a doctor and have not had any negative effects that I am aware of and would attribute to the crash.

2. I only still get a little wary at the same intersection and glance in my rear view mirror, but otherwise at this point I don't think I'm any more paranoid than before (as a cyclist, I don't trust drivers much as it is, so I am always a little paranoid).

The adrenaline and all of that took all day to wear off. I bet you will feel markedly better after a night of sleep, and by your Monday commute you will not have an extreme reaction.
posted by misskaz at 4:08 PM on March 20, 2015


IANYL. Go get checked out by your M.D. and don't hesitate to report any new issues/symptoms to your M.D. as they arise, if they do. Most people don't have physical consequences from low speed collisions, but everyone is different, and what tends to later hurt monetary recovery the most is absence of any support in medical records for soft tissue injury.

As for the way you are feeling about being in your car, getting hit by a car is scary and this wariness you are feeling is basically low level PTSD. It will eventually wear down to manageable level. When you aren't in the car, talk to people you trust about how you are feeling. I'd try something that may help you focus on something else (if it isn't too distracting to drive well) like my personal favorite, listening to audio books.
posted by bearwife at 4:20 PM on March 20, 2015


Hi! I was a rear-endER a year and a few months ago. The road was slick with wet leaves, there was a car stopped at a stop sign ahead of me and although I hit the brakes, my car had other ideas. I can't answer #1, but here's one for #2...

It just takes time. Lots of time. Because it's a scary thing! For about 6 months I shuddered every time I had to stop at a stop sign and there was a car ahead of me. I still am wary when the roads are wet. I also actively avoid that corner. Even though it only happened once in my 20+ years of driving, I can still conjure that "omg why isn't the car stopping! stop!!!" feeling but I'm so much better than I was.

Good thoughts to you.
posted by kimberussell at 4:22 PM on March 20, 2015


The anxiety will fade - I was rear-ended some months ago in a slow-motion kind of way, and for a week or so afterwards I was hyper-vigilant about how close cars followed. Then less so, then less, etc.

I didn't have any neck or back pain.

If you looked at the bumper of my car, you could kind of see where it got tapped, if you squinted - but the inner lining was crushed (as it should be!) and the whole thing got replaced. So even if you don't see any damage, you should take it to the body shop.
posted by rtha at 4:23 PM on March 20, 2015


I was rear-ended in the fast lane on the freeway several years ago. Traffic had gone from 65 mph to a dead stop with no warning. I was able to stop in time, but the guy behind me wasn't. It caused $11,000 damage to my new car. I was a little sore, but nothing major or lingering. For quite a while I would watch my rear view mirror waiting for someone to hit me, but now I don't think much about it.

I find I drive a bit differently now. I leave a lot more room between me and the car in front of me at high speeds than I used to. Even though it was the other guy's fault because it always is in rear end accidents, I think it might have been avoided had I left more room in front of me, which would have given me more room for less abrupt braking, which would have given the guy behind me more warning to stop.

It's fresh for you, but you won't be paranoid forever.
posted by cecic at 4:29 PM on March 20, 2015


With regards to #2, count every single time it doesn't happen. I've done this after previous car accidents, and it's helped me to actually have figures that point out how unlikely it is that [that type of accident] will happen again.
posted by Solomon at 5:35 PM on March 20, 2015


I can't speak to 1, but I will nth that #2 goes away with time. We crashed onto a semi lying on the road 10 years ago and now I'm acutely aware of semi trucks undulating on the road. But it helped at the time to think of how the present was different from the past situation - ie today is a nice day and then it was cold and icy, today I can brake earlier to let the driver behind me that I'm stopping, today I can leave more room in front to pull a bit forwards. You will be a bit paranoid and it's ok. You are just preparing to prevent that situation from happening again, and as time goes by you'll feel better prepared. Good luck!
posted by cobain_angel at 5:56 PM on March 20, 2015


1. Whiplash is one of those muscular injuries that is difficult to diagnose. When I was rear-ended I immediately felt back and neck pain so I immediately drove myself to the ER for x-rays. Once those cleared, I visited my GP who told me that whiplash symptoms will improve with time, physical therapy (if needed, like massages), and keeping myself as active as possible without exacerbating the injury. It took about a year to clear up but like any injury the symptoms can return based on stimuli such as temperature and certain types of movement.

2. This too passes with time.
posted by Young Kullervo at 6:06 PM on March 20, 2015


How do I get over the paranoia, during the rest of my trip to work and the entire drive home, that every car behind me is another accident waiting to happen?

Don't. It's not paranoia, it's potentially true. Awareness - even some fear - of this is the basis of defensive driving. Just work to channel your heightened concern into better, more alert, more defensive driving.

They absolutely are all trying to kill you out there. Stay aware of this, and use that awareness to be a much more cognizant and competent driver.
posted by Quisp Lover at 6:18 PM on March 20, 2015


I have been riding motorcycles for the better part of 35 years (since I was approximately 6). When I was in college I was rear-ended near my dorm in Chicago by a driver doing a bang on '90's version of distracted driving. I ended up in her passenger seat with multiple fractures to my right arm, scapula and collarbone. My motorcycle looked like a crushed can of Pepsi. Going over the accident in my mind, I realized that I didn't do my due diligence in protecting myself. I had my bike out of gear at the light, and I wasn't scanning my mirrors, watching for fools. Ever since I have made a point of maintaining a much higher level of situational awareness whenever I'm driving or riding. My daily driver is a 2.5 ton pickup, and I still check my mirrors when I'm stopped and try to leave myself an "out."

This all being said, driving is arguably the riskiest thing the vast majority of people who drive will ever do their entire lives. It's a numbers game, and while one can mitigate the risks of driving by being a skilled, attentive and thoughtful driver, the only way to eliminate the risk is to not do it. It is absolutely ok to have some fear that this can happen again because it can. But you can work through it by making subtle changes to how and where you drive. When I am on my bike I make a point of taking routes that reduce my exposure to left turns, intersections, and heavy traffic as much as possible. I carry these same behaviors over to my driving of any other vehicle. Sometimes these routes take a little longer, but they are undoubtedly safer.

Of course, there will always be times when going a different route isn't a viable option. At those times, all you can do is pay attention, and act like everyone is out to get you. Expect and be prepared for the worst, most ridiculous actions from every other driver on the road, and your surprise if they prove you wrong will be a pleasant one. Don't ever expect anyone to be the driver that you'd like for them to be, because you'll end up disappointed (or worse) every time. Safe travels.
posted by chosemerveilleux at 6:26 PM on March 20, 2015


I was rear-ended several years ago. I was sore and stiff for the first week but was able to power through so I allowed the insurance company to write me off. Big mistake. My symptoms did not go away, they got worse. And because I didn't lawyer up, I couldn't afford treatment. I ended up spending a year in constant pain before finally getting help.

Lawyer up. The insurance company is not your friend.
posted by myselfasme at 8:31 PM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]


My sister got rear ended at traffic lights. B it took symptoms 1-2 days to emerge but when they did she was in a fair about of discomfort, needed a neck brace etc. There a lot of fakers take advantage but they're bagging it on a talk problem that if it emerge could impact your quality of life.
posted by biffa at 11:58 PM on March 20, 2015


I've been in two car-totaling accidents and rear-ended at least twice. I was sore all over for days after the car-totaling accidents but had no symptoms at all from the rear-endings (the second of which totaled the other driver's car and caused thousands of dollars in damage to my own).

So, yeah, keep an eye out for whiplash but you very well may be fine.

I was definitely warier after all these accidents but it passed eventually. Try not to dwell on it. Acknowledge your fear and then distract yourself if you feel like starting to obsess about it.
posted by mskyle at 5:30 AM on March 21, 2015


I was rear ended several years ago, we both pulled into a lot, no visible damage, everyone felt fine and we all drove away. Mrs. CarrionComfort, though, had nasty whiplash that showed up the next day, went the doctor a couple days later, and because there was no police report, her health insurance wouldn't pay for the muscle relaxants the doctor prescribed. (we paid out of pocket, but still)

Get the other person's info when possible (good job!) and file a police report to grease those bureaucratic wheels.

Go to a doctor if any symptoms crop up.

As for the second part, the above advice is right. Time will sooth fears of rear-ending. It fades and your mind has other things to focus on. And I like the idea to count times that rear-ending doesn't happen. Just look at the numbers you already know--this has only happened to you once in years of driving.
posted by carrioncomfort at 9:40 AM on March 21, 2015


You can't drive a car without being in some kind of a fender-bender or a serious accident indefinitely; the best you can hope for is a gentle bumper bump and that's what you just experienced.

Cars are zooming everywhere, all day everyday. By some miracle, we usually zoom right along with them and we come through okay, but it's a good idea to think about how this happened and if there is anything you could have done to have possibly prevented the actual collision. It's possible there's nothing you could do at all, but sometimes a rear-ender can make us a bit more conscious of what's happening behind us as well as what's happening in front of us, which can be helpful sometimes.

Just one thing: Don't get so worried about being rear-ended again that you move forward into an intersection where some idiot is running a yellow light and would run right into you - don't get twitchy on the brake pedal now.

Don't fret, don't turn this molehill into a mountain, just figure you dodged a bullet and carry on. You've been baptized by fire.
posted by aryma at 1:52 AM on March 22, 2015


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