[parent-filter] Non-violent superheroes for my four year-old?
March 20, 2015 1:40 PM Subscribe
my almost-four-year old has been getting a bit "handsy" at day care lately and it's usually when he is playing superheroes with his friends -- we're looking for a non-violent superhero to nudge him away from the punching/shooting/bashing variety.
I'm sure this isn't the only reason he's hitting kids. My partner and I are trying to look into our own behaviour to see if he could be reacting to something at home, but it does seem to be at least somewhat connected to his obsession with superheroes (batman, superman, spiderman, in the main). We didn't introduce them to him, but he sure found them.
I was wondering (being kind of ignorant in the comic book world) if there are any non-violent, or at least non-punching, non-shooting superheroes, preferably with books and/or toys and one that he knew was on the same level as Marvel/DC type heroes (so like, Super Why is fine and everything, but he knows that SW doesn't live in the same universe as Wolverine).
Anything? Thanks AskMeFi.
I'm sure this isn't the only reason he's hitting kids. My partner and I are trying to look into our own behaviour to see if he could be reacting to something at home, but it does seem to be at least somewhat connected to his obsession with superheroes (batman, superman, spiderman, in the main). We didn't introduce them to him, but he sure found them.
I was wondering (being kind of ignorant in the comic book world) if there are any non-violent, or at least non-punching, non-shooting superheroes, preferably with books and/or toys and one that he knew was on the same level as Marvel/DC type heroes (so like, Super Why is fine and everything, but he knows that SW doesn't live in the same universe as Wolverine).
Anything? Thanks AskMeFi.
Captain America fights with his shield. I mean, it's still an offensive weapon, he's still beating people up with it, but it's not a gun if that's what's worrying you?
posted by mymbleth at 2:30 PM on March 20, 2015
posted by mymbleth at 2:30 PM on March 20, 2015
My toddler enjoys (as much as a toddler can) the cartoon Chuggington (streams on Netflix) and they have Action Chugger as their train super hero. It looks like, with just preliminary googling, they have these toys at Toys-R-Us.
Another fun cartoon is Blaze and the Monster Machines. These are anthropomorphous monster trucks with different personalities - dino monster truck, cowgirl monster truck, etc. Blaze and driver save the day using logic and don't ever seem to actually fight anybody.
posted by jillithd at 2:33 PM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
Another fun cartoon is Blaze and the Monster Machines. These are anthropomorphous monster trucks with different personalities - dino monster truck, cowgirl monster truck, etc. Blaze and driver save the day using logic and don't ever seem to actually fight anybody.
posted by jillithd at 2:33 PM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Oh, Big Hero Six! There's a huge theme of violence begetting violence and not being the answer. My four year old is super obsessed right now.
Transformers Rescue Bots uses superheroes (well, robots) as a search and rescue team. It plugs into those dreams of power, being used for good. My son's daycare teacher redirects superhero play in this way; the superheroes work together to save people trapped in the woods or run as fast as they can. (Doesn't always work, of course, but it does sometimes.)
posted by tchemgrrl at 2:37 PM on March 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
Transformers Rescue Bots uses superheroes (well, robots) as a search and rescue team. It plugs into those dreams of power, being used for good. My son's daycare teacher redirects superhero play in this way; the superheroes work together to save people trapped in the woods or run as fast as they can. (Doesn't always work, of course, but it does sometimes.)
posted by tchemgrrl at 2:37 PM on March 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
Doctor Who! His strategy is to aim a screwdriver at things, sweet talk, and run away.
posted by congen at 2:51 PM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by congen at 2:51 PM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
Tiny Titans is a comic book starring kiddy versions of DC superheroes (mostly members of the Teen Titans). Here's a free ebook version of issue 1. Its original run is over, but there are trade paperbacks of the entire run.
posted by CrunchyFrog at 3:05 PM on March 20, 2015
posted by CrunchyFrog at 3:05 PM on March 20, 2015
Best answer: The Last Airbender might also be a good choice. The fighting is all done via a sort of magic called "bending" - no one actually touches each other. It looks very cool. You could have epic fights where you're on opposite sides of the room flinging yourself about. Despite all the bending fights, the show has a strong anti-violence message.
posted by congen at 3:17 PM on March 20, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by congen at 3:17 PM on March 20, 2015 [8 favorites]
Harry Potter would be kind of hard to turn into violent play. Mostly it'd be a lot of waving twig wands at each other.
Star Wars could involve problematic play-fighting with treebranch-lightsabers but otherwise it's just a lot of pew-pew noises and pretending to strangle each other from 5 feet away.
As for superheroes... Aquaman?
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:30 PM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
Star Wars could involve problematic play-fighting with treebranch-lightsabers but otherwise it's just a lot of pew-pew noises and pretending to strangle each other from 5 feet away.
As for superheroes... Aquaman?
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:30 PM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
The Mighty Heroes! Strong Man ... Rope Man ... Cuckoo Man ... Tornado Man and ... Diaper Man!
posted by Rob Rockets at 3:52 PM on March 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Rob Rockets at 3:52 PM on March 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
As for superheroes... Aquaman?
Aquaman was only nonviolent in the old Superfriends cartoons. If anything, the dude is much more violent than Batman or Superman in the comics. He likes a fight. That's not a promising place to look.
I'm not a superhero expert, but I think it's going to be hard to find what you are looking for. Fighting is pretty inherent in the major superhero stories.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 4:06 PM on March 20, 2015
Aquaman was only nonviolent in the old Superfriends cartoons. If anything, the dude is much more violent than Batman or Superman in the comics. He likes a fight. That's not a promising place to look.
I'm not a superhero expert, but I think it's going to be hard to find what you are looking for. Fighting is pretty inherent in the major superhero stories.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 4:06 PM on March 20, 2015
I think superhero play fighting is actually developmentally very healthy for lots of kids. It's cropping up in his play because he needs an outlet for various urges, feelings, things he is trying to make sense of in the world.
So nixing it may not be the best bet. The important thing for kids to learn is when and where that kind of play is appropriate (not in class), and the difference between play and actually hitting someone.
I have had some success redirecting my kiddos to have battles with Lego figures inside. Keeps the play at a smaller scale.
posted by mai at 5:32 PM on March 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
So nixing it may not be the best bet. The important thing for kids to learn is when and where that kind of play is appropriate (not in class), and the difference between play and actually hitting someone.
I have had some success redirecting my kiddos to have battles with Lego figures inside. Keeps the play at a smaller scale.
posted by mai at 5:32 PM on March 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
The Flash just runs... Really fast.
posted by jrobin276 at 5:36 PM on March 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by jrobin276 at 5:36 PM on March 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
I'm with mai. How do his teachers address superhero play in general? I teach preschool, and I have colleagues who have done superhero-based curriculum to give some gentle guidance to the pretend play.
Also, do you roughhouse with him at home? What kind of appropriate physical outlets does he have. It sounds like he need some kind of rough and tumble body contact. The trick really is to help guide him to more socially acceptable options.
posted by SobaFett at 6:22 PM on March 20, 2015
Also, do you roughhouse with him at home? What kind of appropriate physical outlets does he have. It sounds like he need some kind of rough and tumble body contact. The trick really is to help guide him to more socially acceptable options.
posted by SobaFett at 6:22 PM on March 20, 2015
Best answer: I'm with mai, superhero play is totally typical and superheroes are really high interest because POWER! Exciting, adult, invincible power.
I've had better luck by instituting the following policies:
- No one is the bad guy. We fight invisible bad guys or work together against a natural disaster for instance.
- If you're going to play rough have a plan for telling people when you want to stop. Usually this means putting both hand out in front of you and saying, "NOT FUN". That way they can scrap and tumble but there's an out if someone gets overwhelmed.
- If you've hurt someone the game stops and you have to check on them.
A combo of interesting him in other kinds of dramatic play and teaching these rules will likely mean fewer injuries.
posted by Saminal at 6:24 PM on March 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
I've had better luck by instituting the following policies:
- No one is the bad guy. We fight invisible bad guys or work together against a natural disaster for instance.
- If you're going to play rough have a plan for telling people when you want to stop. Usually this means putting both hand out in front of you and saying, "NOT FUN". That way they can scrap and tumble but there's an out if someone gets overwhelmed.
- If you've hurt someone the game stops and you have to check on them.
A combo of interesting him in other kinds of dramatic play and teaching these rules will likely mean fewer injuries.
posted by Saminal at 6:24 PM on March 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
Totally normal and age appropriate. Even if you find that show you want, he will make it violent anyhow. I worked at a preschool when He-Man was big. It was supposed to be nonviolent, but the boys always hit eat other anyhow.
Not a superhero, but my kids loved "My Neighbor Totoro" and would act it out. No bad guys, no scary creatures, scary situation of mom sick in hospital and kids dealing with it. Might work better than channeling other super heros.
posted by 101cats at 10:00 PM on March 20, 2015
Not a superhero, but my kids loved "My Neighbor Totoro" and would act it out. No bad guys, no scary creatures, scary situation of mom sick in hospital and kids dealing with it. Might work better than channeling other super heros.
posted by 101cats at 10:00 PM on March 20, 2015
The non-punching superheroes either shoot things (e.g. Iron Man, the Human Torch, Hawkeye), use mental-ish powers to manipulate the environment (e.g. Professor X, Storm), or modify their bodies (e.g. Groot, Invisible Woman, Kitty Pryde). Harry Potter can be viewed as a mixture of all three.
The Flash and Quicksilver represent a kind of outlier -- the hero that is doing something everyone can do, but doing it to an extreme.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:09 PM on March 20, 2015
The Flash and Quicksilver represent a kind of outlier -- the hero that is doing something everyone can do, but doing it to an extreme.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:09 PM on March 20, 2015
Response by poster:
I mostly agree, actually. It's also the way he feels included with his friends and other kids. That's why I want to find less-violent superheroes to keep the good stuff and de-emphasize the bad stuff. (Aside: When my son briefly wanted to dress up as Captain America last halloween I joked to friends and family he wanted to go as an allegory for American imperialist aggression).
Big Hero 6 is a great idea, thanks! I'm not overly concerned about his hitting tendencies -- they're not bullying or anything, just hitty. I just want to keep them under control. Thanks everyone!
posted by Catchfire at 10:41 AM on March 21, 2015
I think superhero play fighting is actually developmentally very healthy for lots of kids. It's cropping up in his play because he needs an outlet for various urges, feelings, things he is trying to make sense of in the world.
I mostly agree, actually. It's also the way he feels included with his friends and other kids. That's why I want to find less-violent superheroes to keep the good stuff and de-emphasize the bad stuff. (Aside: When my son briefly wanted to dress up as Captain America last halloween I joked to friends and family he wanted to go as an allegory for American imperialist aggression).
Big Hero 6 is a great idea, thanks! I'm not overly concerned about his hitting tendencies -- they're not bullying or anything, just hitty. I just want to keep them under control. Thanks everyone!
posted by Catchfire at 10:41 AM on March 21, 2015
Pokemons might be a possibility? My little family members in this age range are very into the thing of having "___ power" -- ice power, fire power, electric power, tornado power, "eagle power" (flight), "ninja power" (stealth) and so on -- and we can encourage the ones whose application involves throwing your arms out in front of you and saying "FIRE" rather than pushing or hitting. Pokemons kind of fit with that since they have various powers and their battles are not about really hurting the other guy, it's more like a sports match (as I understand it).
posted by LobsterMitten at 12:53 PM on March 21, 2015
posted by LobsterMitten at 12:53 PM on March 21, 2015
Oh, and I should have added a small caveat for Big Hero 6 which is that there are some scary/sad parts. They don't bother my kid (who finds Babe too scary) but his best friend won't watch it. You may want to preview it, or feel free to memail for details. And I'll second The Last Airbender. There is so much bending in this house. So. Much. And it's aggressive and active but not hitty, with lots of interesting moral stuff.
posted by tchemgrrl at 2:07 PM on March 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by tchemgrrl at 2:07 PM on March 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
The 60's Filmation Batman/Superman/Aquaman cartoons were pretty violence free. And SuperFriends was totally violence free, and there are comic book versions.
posted by Billiken at 11:37 AM on March 23, 2015
posted by Billiken at 11:37 AM on March 23, 2015
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That said, he did go through a short phase of pushing or mild hitting when younger, which lots of kids seem to do, and I couldn't connect it to any of his hobbies or to things happening at home. He got pretty sternly reprimanded and consistently punished any time he used violence and it mostly went away as he got older (crossing fingers). So maybe the heroes are ok - we draw the line at shooting though and don't have toy gun-type stuff. Another problem with the superhero stuff is that with the explosion of adult superhero fans there is a lot out there (movies, comics, etc.) where it's not obvious what age things are targeted at. Like, I wouldn't consider any of the Marvel movies appropriate for kids under 12-13, but a lot of younger kids seem to have seen them.
posted by freecellwizard at 2:02 PM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]