Bork bork BOR! Or where in Sweden should I live?
March 19, 2015 7:17 PM Subscribe
After lots and lots of changes is my life, due to medical reasons I find myself making concrete plans a year in advance again. At about this time of next year I intend to be moving back to the country where I first saw the light of day, which I haven't visited since I was 12. Help me find a place where life will be enjoyable for me.
I'm a swedish citizen, but my family is from Uruguay. When I was four years old the political climate allowed my family to return to Uruguay. Now I'm 32 and lived most of my life in Uruguay and Argentina. My parents kept professional ties with Sweden, with my dad going back for two months almost every year. They integrated very well during their time there, so, culturally, despite also being Uruguayan, we are also very very Swedish.
I should first say why I'm going back. I recently came out as a trans woman and started living as a woman full time. The dysphoria is making it really hard to go on without going through medical transition (hormone replacement therapy, facial feminization surgery, breast augmentation, and sex reassignment surgery - AKA the snip snip -). There aren't many doctors in the world that do a good job at SRS (the most delicate part of the whole treatment) and they are very expensive. In Uruguay, there are some that do the other parts of the process in the private sector but it's out of my reach. The public healthcare system in Uruguay leaves a lot to be desired. Sweden, on the other hand, has excellent public healthcare, that would allow me to get everything but SRS while I save to do that last bit with a doctor of my choice.
Why all this intro? Well, Sweden has several centers that offer specific treatment for trans people. Being close to one of those is one of the factors in my decision for where to live. I'm not asking for specific advice on choosing which of those centers, though, since I'm doing that research through two Swedish doctors I ran into a few weeks ago. Anyway, I'm open to traveling for my appointments. Of course, if you are in a position to give specific advice for this, it will be appreciated. The center I choose will be factored in with the advice offered here to make my final choice.
The other reason I mention it, is that, while I don't expect to find an LGBT micronation, I would like to live in a place where I won't be harassed every waking moment.
So, for other criteria, what I do for a living.
Since I've been traveling a lot, the answer it's pretty much whatever it takes, other than going back to a career in the corporate world where I wasted to many years of my life. My main profession is massage therapy. Ideally I would have my practice at home, but I'm not against having it separate if the city to live and the city to work are not the same. I could also work for a spa or a hotel, for the sake of flexibility and survival. Of course, I don't have a license in Swedish, so if the massage therapy market is regulated this would be in the back burner while I get my license, but my goal is to work on this, so I'm looking for a place where getting massages is common.
I'm also an artisan, making jewelry in macramé and using recycled materials. I've been selling my work on the streets, because there's no etsy here. It'd be good to be able to do the same in Sweden, but I read there's a site similar to etsy in Europe, so this could be less location dependent.
Then I'm a photographer. I shoot for myself, I don't do events or commercial, but I have sold a few prints. I'm figuring out the best workflow for making a selection of my work available for sale online through zazzle or a similar site. While this is also location independent, I do mostly landscapes and street photography, do I need access to opportunities for shooting.
While any income through self employment takes off the ground, I don't mind doing any other type of work for other people/businesses. I'll take whatever I get, but of course the ready ideas would be English/Spanish/Portuguese lessons (I can teach, but I'm not a teacher) or translation, working in a hotel or hostel (that's one of the things I've been doing lately), or waiting tables. I won't run away from more physical work.
I don't mind commuting by bus or train. I would like to say by bike too, but I know Sweden is bike friendly only part of the year. What I'm not getting is a car.
I prefer smaller cities/towns, or at least places that have that vibe. I know that can be good for housing but bad for employment, but see above about commuting.
Living in a small house would be ideal. A small apartment would be acceptable. A small room... a temporary solution. My lifestyle is simple and austere, but I do value my space. Anyway, because I don't spend money in certain things most people do, I may have a bigger part of my income available for housing, although I will be saving for a big surgery and will have to pay for doctor appointments.
Parks and forests are in most of my early childhood memories. Being able to go mushroom hunting is almost almost a must.
Music and dance are two of the things I enjoy the most. I love all kinds of music from all over the world. However, I feel I would prefer to dive into the local culture rather than cosmopolitanism. So, between the hippest neighborhood in Stockholm and a small village with an active traditional music scene where I can learn how to play the nyckelharpa I would choose the latter. But again, I don't mind commuting.
I have some family in Stockholm, Göteborg and Lindesberg, and a friend of my mother (and the mother of a friend) in Uppsala. I'm not looking to live with them, maybe a few days while I settle down, but that's all. I plan to visit them on occasion, but we have lived in different continents for over 25 years, so I won't be sad if I can't have lunch with them every Sunday.
When I left Sweden I could speak, read and write Swedish and Spanish without mixing them. Then I never practiced, so I "forgot" it. I am practicing again now, and I'm confident I will be speaking decently when I get there. I have the phonetics imprinted into my brain, I can take a Swedish text and read it out loud correctly, with my accent from Uppsala. I am slowly remembering things.
What else? I want cheap housing and food and a good income (no, really?).
Tack så mycke for reading through this long post. Any suggestion or advice you can offer will be appreciated.
I'm a swedish citizen, but my family is from Uruguay. When I was four years old the political climate allowed my family to return to Uruguay. Now I'm 32 and lived most of my life in Uruguay and Argentina. My parents kept professional ties with Sweden, with my dad going back for two months almost every year. They integrated very well during their time there, so, culturally, despite also being Uruguayan, we are also very very Swedish.
I should first say why I'm going back. I recently came out as a trans woman and started living as a woman full time. The dysphoria is making it really hard to go on without going through medical transition (hormone replacement therapy, facial feminization surgery, breast augmentation, and sex reassignment surgery - AKA the snip snip -). There aren't many doctors in the world that do a good job at SRS (the most delicate part of the whole treatment) and they are very expensive. In Uruguay, there are some that do the other parts of the process in the private sector but it's out of my reach. The public healthcare system in Uruguay leaves a lot to be desired. Sweden, on the other hand, has excellent public healthcare, that would allow me to get everything but SRS while I save to do that last bit with a doctor of my choice.
Why all this intro? Well, Sweden has several centers that offer specific treatment for trans people. Being close to one of those is one of the factors in my decision for where to live. I'm not asking for specific advice on choosing which of those centers, though, since I'm doing that research through two Swedish doctors I ran into a few weeks ago. Anyway, I'm open to traveling for my appointments. Of course, if you are in a position to give specific advice for this, it will be appreciated. The center I choose will be factored in with the advice offered here to make my final choice.
The other reason I mention it, is that, while I don't expect to find an LGBT micronation, I would like to live in a place where I won't be harassed every waking moment.
So, for other criteria, what I do for a living.
Since I've been traveling a lot, the answer it's pretty much whatever it takes, other than going back to a career in the corporate world where I wasted to many years of my life. My main profession is massage therapy. Ideally I would have my practice at home, but I'm not against having it separate if the city to live and the city to work are not the same. I could also work for a spa or a hotel, for the sake of flexibility and survival. Of course, I don't have a license in Swedish, so if the massage therapy market is regulated this would be in the back burner while I get my license, but my goal is to work on this, so I'm looking for a place where getting massages is common.
I'm also an artisan, making jewelry in macramé and using recycled materials. I've been selling my work on the streets, because there's no etsy here. It'd be good to be able to do the same in Sweden, but I read there's a site similar to etsy in Europe, so this could be less location dependent.
Then I'm a photographer. I shoot for myself, I don't do events or commercial, but I have sold a few prints. I'm figuring out the best workflow for making a selection of my work available for sale online through zazzle or a similar site. While this is also location independent, I do mostly landscapes and street photography, do I need access to opportunities for shooting.
While any income through self employment takes off the ground, I don't mind doing any other type of work for other people/businesses. I'll take whatever I get, but of course the ready ideas would be English/Spanish/Portuguese lessons (I can teach, but I'm not a teacher) or translation, working in a hotel or hostel (that's one of the things I've been doing lately), or waiting tables. I won't run away from more physical work.
I don't mind commuting by bus or train. I would like to say by bike too, but I know Sweden is bike friendly only part of the year. What I'm not getting is a car.
I prefer smaller cities/towns, or at least places that have that vibe. I know that can be good for housing but bad for employment, but see above about commuting.
Living in a small house would be ideal. A small apartment would be acceptable. A small room... a temporary solution. My lifestyle is simple and austere, but I do value my space. Anyway, because I don't spend money in certain things most people do, I may have a bigger part of my income available for housing, although I will be saving for a big surgery and will have to pay for doctor appointments.
Parks and forests are in most of my early childhood memories. Being able to go mushroom hunting is almost almost a must.
Music and dance are two of the things I enjoy the most. I love all kinds of music from all over the world. However, I feel I would prefer to dive into the local culture rather than cosmopolitanism. So, between the hippest neighborhood in Stockholm and a small village with an active traditional music scene where I can learn how to play the nyckelharpa I would choose the latter. But again, I don't mind commuting.
I have some family in Stockholm, Göteborg and Lindesberg, and a friend of my mother (and the mother of a friend) in Uppsala. I'm not looking to live with them, maybe a few days while I settle down, but that's all. I plan to visit them on occasion, but we have lived in different continents for over 25 years, so I won't be sad if I can't have lunch with them every Sunday.
When I left Sweden I could speak, read and write Swedish and Spanish without mixing them. Then I never practiced, so I "forgot" it. I am practicing again now, and I'm confident I will be speaking decently when I get there. I have the phonetics imprinted into my brain, I can take a Swedish text and read it out loud correctly, with my accent from Uppsala. I am slowly remembering things.
What else? I want cheap housing and food and a good income (no, really?).
Tack så mycke for reading through this long post. Any suggestion or advice you can offer will be appreciated.
Stockholm is expensive right now, even in the suburbs. Even though there would likely be most demand for your work talents there, it might be hard to afford housing.
Göteborg (Gothenborg) or Malmö are the other "big" city alternatives. It may be worth settling in a satellite area to one of these cities because of opportunities to find work, and while you acclimate.
Its worth noting that Göteborg, Malmö and Stockholm all have very different vibes - if you don't like one, try another.
Cheap housing and food will be a challenge. Eating out is still expensive in Sweden, despite some tax changes designed to make the service industry cheaper. Grocery stores are expensive compared to Latin America. It is worth noting that big discount chains, like Lidl, have made inroads in Sweden, and in the suburbs there are many different big box grocery stores (which will likely take a car to get to).
A small apartment should be doable - lots of expat blogs about life in Sweden will give you a good sense of the current challenges of getting an apartment. In Stockholm, it can be quite an ordeal. Elsewhere in the country it is easier.
Speaking of which: Are you planning on getting a driver's license in Sweden? You will be unlikely able to transfer a current one, and the Swedish license process can be quite expensive. Still, it will give you more flexibility for work. If you need a car, plan on adding a big expense to your budget.
If anything, I urge you to not go into this move with rose tinted glasses. Many young Swedes go to Norway for service jobs, because they pay better than Swedish jobs do. Prices are expensive. And people, while friendly, might take a while to warm up to you. Racism is finally being discussed as a serious issue. Sweden is very well off compared to much of the world, but certainly has many ugly problems to deal with. Sweden often gets put up as an example of high marks, but it definitely has faults.
For a slightly lighthearted view on moving to Sweden, do check out Welcome to Sweden, about an American guy moving to be with his Swedish girlfriend. It was co written by Swedes, and was a huge hit in Sweden.
Lycka till med flytten! Hoppas att du hittar en trevlig stad att bo i!
posted by troytroy at 8:54 PM on March 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
Göteborg (Gothenborg) or Malmö are the other "big" city alternatives. It may be worth settling in a satellite area to one of these cities because of opportunities to find work, and while you acclimate.
Its worth noting that Göteborg, Malmö and Stockholm all have very different vibes - if you don't like one, try another.
Cheap housing and food will be a challenge. Eating out is still expensive in Sweden, despite some tax changes designed to make the service industry cheaper. Grocery stores are expensive compared to Latin America. It is worth noting that big discount chains, like Lidl, have made inroads in Sweden, and in the suburbs there are many different big box grocery stores (which will likely take a car to get to).
A small apartment should be doable - lots of expat blogs about life in Sweden will give you a good sense of the current challenges of getting an apartment. In Stockholm, it can be quite an ordeal. Elsewhere in the country it is easier.
Speaking of which: Are you planning on getting a driver's license in Sweden? You will be unlikely able to transfer a current one, and the Swedish license process can be quite expensive. Still, it will give you more flexibility for work. If you need a car, plan on adding a big expense to your budget.
If anything, I urge you to not go into this move with rose tinted glasses. Many young Swedes go to Norway for service jobs, because they pay better than Swedish jobs do. Prices are expensive. And people, while friendly, might take a while to warm up to you. Racism is finally being discussed as a serious issue. Sweden is very well off compared to much of the world, but certainly has many ugly problems to deal with. Sweden often gets put up as an example of high marks, but it definitely has faults.
For a slightly lighthearted view on moving to Sweden, do check out Welcome to Sweden, about an American guy moving to be with his Swedish girlfriend. It was co written by Swedes, and was a huge hit in Sweden.
Lycka till med flytten! Hoppas att du hittar en trevlig stad att bo i!
posted by troytroy at 8:54 PM on March 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
I love Norrtälje and there are many buses between Norrtälje and Stockholm. It's a longish commute, about 45 minutes 1 way, but the buses are comfy enough and some of the buses used to have Wi Fi. I think community is important, so I'd check for trans and LGBT resources, organisations, etc. for Stockholm, Uppsala, Göteborg, Lund and Malmö and ask some of those folks your question as well. Good luck!
posted by Bella Donna at 4:42 AM on March 20, 2015
posted by Bella Donna at 4:42 AM on March 20, 2015
Response by poster: Sorry for all the typos my tablet's autocowreck made me do and I didn't catch.
What is there to mind about Skåne?
I'm not really looking for the international crowd and music (although I do enjoy it too).
I rarely eat out, and I wouldn't get a car that would add a big expense to get cheaper groceries that wouldn't be cheap enough to compensate the cost of the car/gas/insurance/plates/maintenance. That, and I don't really like cars as a means of transport, specially for just one person I think it's a waste of resources as most of the weight it carries is the car itself.
Oh, yeah, I forgot to add, I'm quite granola, but you can probably tell by now.
Can you recommend specific satellite towns near those cities? Norrtälje looks lovely, I will try to find out more about it.
Believe me, I'm not wearing rose tinted glasses, I'm just trying to take off the black tinted ones (no, they are not sunglasses). My priority is being able to get my treatment, I could live under a bridge while getting my treatment and it would be good, but of course, like anyone else, I want it to be as good as possible. I know how Swedish people are, after all I am one of them myself, even if not ethnically, and I quite like the Swedish idiosincracy. About the ethnical part, I know how it is, I remember being called svartskalle, and I know it has gotten worse. I know better than feeding that hatred. It's still not as bad as what I'd go through for being trans if I were to go back to Uruguay (which I've heard people call the Canada of Latinamerica, and we all know Canada is the Sweden of Northamerica ;) ), so yeah, I know about countries being put on a pedestal and not living up to it, but still being pretty good.
posted by Promethea at 7:00 AM on March 20, 2015
What is there to mind about Skåne?
I'm not really looking for the international crowd and music (although I do enjoy it too).
I rarely eat out, and I wouldn't get a car that would add a big expense to get cheaper groceries that wouldn't be cheap enough to compensate the cost of the car/gas/insurance/plates/maintenance. That, and I don't really like cars as a means of transport, specially for just one person I think it's a waste of resources as most of the weight it carries is the car itself.
Oh, yeah, I forgot to add, I'm quite granola, but you can probably tell by now.
Can you recommend specific satellite towns near those cities? Norrtälje looks lovely, I will try to find out more about it.
Believe me, I'm not wearing rose tinted glasses, I'm just trying to take off the black tinted ones (no, they are not sunglasses). My priority is being able to get my treatment, I could live under a bridge while getting my treatment and it would be good, but of course, like anyone else, I want it to be as good as possible. I know how Swedish people are, after all I am one of them myself, even if not ethnically, and I quite like the Swedish idiosincracy. About the ethnical part, I know how it is, I remember being called svartskalle, and I know it has gotten worse. I know better than feeding that hatred. It's still not as bad as what I'd go through for being trans if I were to go back to Uruguay (which I've heard people call the Canada of Latinamerica, and we all know Canada is the Sweden of Northamerica ;) ), so yeah, I know about countries being put on a pedestal and not living up to it, but still being pretty good.
posted by Promethea at 7:00 AM on March 20, 2015
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posted by frumiousb at 8:00 PM on March 19, 2015 [2 favorites]