Cruise advice question for two fun-loving lesbians
March 2, 2015 9:58 AM Subscribe
I will be going on a week-long cruise with my wife, parents and brothers and sisters to the Mexican Riviera in a couple weeks. I have never been on a cruise before and neither has my wife. For those of you who have been on cruises, how can we make the most of our trip without being completely overwhelmed?
My wife is outgoing and fun-loving but below the surface she is an introvert who needs to recharge when she spends a lot of time around people. So that is one angle I'm hoping to get some advice on. I'm also hoping to get some inside tips from seasoned cruisers about making the most of the trip in general.
My wife is outgoing and fun-loving but below the surface she is an introvert who needs to recharge when she spends a lot of time around people. So that is one angle I'm hoping to get some advice on. I'm also hoping to get some inside tips from seasoned cruisers about making the most of the trip in general.
Plan your down time just as much as you plan your activities, and don't be afraid to jettison either if someone just isn't feeling up to doing something or wants to go do something cool despite it being scheduled down time.
Talk to her beforehand about how much encouragement and gatekeeping she wants from you -- is it okay if you tell your family "She's tired, go on without us"? Is it okay if you go on without her? How many times should you say, "Oh, come on, it'll be fun" before she has to say, "No, seriously, I'm beat"?
Do you have secret signals for "Get me out of this" and "You need to get out of this"? If not, make some up. You can even use them now and then while she protests that she's not that tired (not every time, though -- that makes you look weird and overprotective).
posted by Etrigan at 10:37 AM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
Talk to her beforehand about how much encouragement and gatekeeping she wants from you -- is it okay if you tell your family "She's tired, go on without us"? Is it okay if you go on without her? How many times should you say, "Oh, come on, it'll be fun" before she has to say, "No, seriously, I'm beat"?
Do you have secret signals for "Get me out of this" and "You need to get out of this"? If not, make some up. You can even use them now and then while she protests that she's not that tired (not every time, though -- that makes you look weird and overprotective).
posted by Etrigan at 10:37 AM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
Nthing Cruise Critic, it's incredibly helpful. Many people who post there go on several cruises a year.
Research and plan any excursions before you leave and strongly consider booking directly with the tour company instead of through the cruise line. Generally, you'll save money and have a more intimate experience (depending on the excursion, of course).
I've been on a few cruises and I've always found a place to be (mostly) alone. Generally the pool will be the most crowded area, but there are usually whole sections of the ship that are fairly deserted but lined with beach chairs for reading or naps.
posted by girlmightlive at 10:42 AM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
Research and plan any excursions before you leave and strongly consider booking directly with the tour company instead of through the cruise line. Generally, you'll save money and have a more intimate experience (depending on the excursion, of course).
I've been on a few cruises and I've always found a place to be (mostly) alone. Generally the pool will be the most crowded area, but there are usually whole sections of the ship that are fairly deserted but lined with beach chairs for reading or naps.
posted by girlmightlive at 10:42 AM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
I LOVE cruising! I hope you have an awesome time. 3rding Cruise Critic, it's a great website with loads of information. If your cabin has a balcony, that can be a great, quiet place to relax. I've only cruised in Alaska so it's a bit different in terms of climate but I've never had problems finding a quiet place out on deck to sit and relax. What line/ship are you with?
posted by notjustthefish at 10:48 AM on March 2, 2015
posted by notjustthefish at 10:48 AM on March 2, 2015
I did a gay cruise on the Mexican Riviera a few years ago (my blog post at the time). Honestly I didn't have a very good time, but maybe that says more about me than the cruise. It wasn't a whole gay cruise boat (which sounds like hell to me), but a group of 40–50 gay men on a boat of about 800. We went from San Francisco to Monterey, Catalina, Mazatlan, Puerto Vallarta, and Cabo San Lucas.
The main problem was most of the ports were boring. Seconding girlmightlive's suggestion of doing some advance planning on what you'd like to do when you get to shore. The cruise options were adequate but not particularly interesting, and many of them involve being in a group of 40+ people. In retrospect I wish I'd prepared more info on where we were going and what would be interesting. Honestly I got the impression none of those places had much interesting to see, but maybe that's my ignorance. Even just heading to a decent cantina and a bit of shopping would have been more fun than the aimless wandering around we did.
As for the cruise itself, my only specific advice is to bring a battery powered nightlight for your bathroom. It is dark inside a cruise ship.
posted by Nelson at 10:51 AM on March 2, 2015
The main problem was most of the ports were boring. Seconding girlmightlive's suggestion of doing some advance planning on what you'd like to do when you get to shore. The cruise options were adequate but not particularly interesting, and many of them involve being in a group of 40+ people. In retrospect I wish I'd prepared more info on where we were going and what would be interesting. Honestly I got the impression none of those places had much interesting to see, but maybe that's my ignorance. Even just heading to a decent cantina and a bit of shopping would have been more fun than the aimless wandering around we did.
As for the cruise itself, my only specific advice is to bring a battery powered nightlight for your bathroom. It is dark inside a cruise ship.
posted by Nelson at 10:51 AM on March 2, 2015
Response by poster: @notjustthefish: We're on Princess. Will check out Cruise Critic for sure.
posted by rabu at 11:06 AM on March 2, 2015
posted by rabu at 11:06 AM on March 2, 2015
I've been on 5 all queer cruises so far. Mexican Riviera, Caribbean, Alaska. They were definitely not hell.
There is definitely a way of doing a cruise to make it most enjoyable.
Definitely don't plan on doing everything. We had one rule. Dinner together every night. Other than that, we might do other things together, we might not, we might sleep in, we might not. Some of us went ashore, others didn't.
You'll get a schedule every day. If you are the planning type, take a look at the days schedule, see what sounds fun, do the things that you're most interested in but make plans to have an hour to sit in the hot tub or just stare out at sea with a cup of coffee.
You don't have to go to every meal. Room service is free 24/7 - so you can always order a sandwich if you're snacky.
posted by Sophie1 at 11:37 AM on March 2, 2015
There is definitely a way of doing a cruise to make it most enjoyable.
Definitely don't plan on doing everything. We had one rule. Dinner together every night. Other than that, we might do other things together, we might not, we might sleep in, we might not. Some of us went ashore, others didn't.
You'll get a schedule every day. If you are the planning type, take a look at the days schedule, see what sounds fun, do the things that you're most interested in but make plans to have an hour to sit in the hot tub or just stare out at sea with a cup of coffee.
You don't have to go to every meal. Room service is free 24/7 - so you can always order a sandwich if you're snacky.
posted by Sophie1 at 11:37 AM on March 2, 2015
My husband and I are big introverts, and if your wife needs a big chunk of alone time I suggest considering not taking a shore excursion on one of the shore days, or taking a short one and returning to the ship for the rest of the day. The last time we went on a cruise (Princess, western Caribbean 7-day) one of our excursions was cancelled due to high winds, and we didn't care much for any of the other available ones, and opted to spend the day onboard. Turned out fantastic--we wandered the ship's decks, messed about on the putting green, hung out in the "adults only" section where we had lots of hammocks and lounging chairs with nobody else there, sat in one of the lounges and read, and basically had a great, quiet time.
That being said, there's plenty of places onboard even on at-sea days where you can hole up and read a book, nap, or just stare out at sea without being around people and without staying in your cabin.
(Also, from the gym trainer I talked to: the first two days at sea, the gym is crammed with people, and after that it's practically deserted, so taking an hour to go work out is also a good way to get some alone time.)
posted by telophase at 11:59 AM on March 2, 2015
That being said, there's plenty of places onboard even on at-sea days where you can hole up and read a book, nap, or just stare out at sea without being around people and without staying in your cabin.
(Also, from the gym trainer I talked to: the first two days at sea, the gym is crammed with people, and after that it's practically deserted, so taking an hour to go work out is also a good way to get some alone time.)
posted by telophase at 11:59 AM on March 2, 2015
I worked for a cruise line and did several short stints onboard. As an introvert, I understand the struggle.
Your room will be smaller than you imagine and you won't want to be cooped up in there. Look for cozy, quiet areas on the ship. Usually there is a library, a little used lounge, an open deck on the lower level, etc.
An important note -
Check with your cellphone provider for onboard and international rates. They can be incredibly high.
posted by galvanized unicorn at 12:10 PM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
Your room will be smaller than you imagine and you won't want to be cooped up in there. Look for cozy, quiet areas on the ship. Usually there is a library, a little used lounge, an open deck on the lower level, etc.
An important note -
Check with your cellphone provider for onboard and international rates. They can be incredibly high.
posted by galvanized unicorn at 12:10 PM on March 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
one of my best memories of the last cruise i went on was laying in my room with my SO watching a ridiculous movie with the ocean out the window.
don't feel like you have to be doing something all the time. take advantage of room service. relax however you want.
posted by monologish at 12:14 PM on March 2, 2015
don't feel like you have to be doing something all the time. take advantage of room service. relax however you want.
posted by monologish at 12:14 PM on March 2, 2015
Think of it as a hotel that goes places, so you don't have to go from hotel to hotel. You can spend all day in the hotel, or go on an organized excursion, or go poke around town by yourself, or do any of the resort-type stuff on board. I've done a few cruises with my family and we also did the "everyone eat dinner together" as the only firm rule; otherwise we'd chat at dinner about what we were interested in the next morning and people would be like, "Oh, I want to go snorkeling too!" so people would organize themselves into groups or pairs or singles, and maybe two people would go on different shore excursions but arrange to meet for lunch, or whatever. Honestly the great part of a cruise is that you don't have to spend any time "in transit" (your hotel is the transit!) and that it's really easy and flexible to do different things on a group vacation.
The last cruise I went on had a library that nobody was ever in, so I'd go sit in there and read and watch the scenery when I wanted a break from humanity. There's always somewhere.
Part of what you're paying for is all the amenities on-board, so don't feel bad if you decide you DON'T want to go on a shore excursion one day and you'd rather just hang out mini-golfing or whatever. Or if you poke around for an hour and then retreat to the boat. Not all cruise ports are created equal. Some are very interesting in their own right; some are great if you like sports but dull for culture; some are great for culture but terrible for nature; some are just there because they're one day's cruising from the last one and they're just a bunch of corporate amusements exactly like everywhere else. I'm a cultural tourism person so I love places with "old towns" or museums or archaeological digs; I like seeing nature stuff as long as I don't have to get too sweaty or sunburnt; I'm eh about sporty things and snorkeling and windsurfing and all that. So I typically really enjoy the smaller ports, but I'm bored by the really big, touristy ones. Some of my cousins were going nuts at the big touristy ones because they could do so much beachy/adventurey stuff. Those were the days I reserved for duty-free shopping. :) But again, what's nice about a cruise is that people with lots of different interests can take a vacation all together. I could go to a museum of quilts all by myself and still have dinner with all my beach adventure relatives.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 2:25 PM on March 2, 2015
The last cruise I went on had a library that nobody was ever in, so I'd go sit in there and read and watch the scenery when I wanted a break from humanity. There's always somewhere.
Part of what you're paying for is all the amenities on-board, so don't feel bad if you decide you DON'T want to go on a shore excursion one day and you'd rather just hang out mini-golfing or whatever. Or if you poke around for an hour and then retreat to the boat. Not all cruise ports are created equal. Some are very interesting in their own right; some are great if you like sports but dull for culture; some are great for culture but terrible for nature; some are just there because they're one day's cruising from the last one and they're just a bunch of corporate amusements exactly like everywhere else. I'm a cultural tourism person so I love places with "old towns" or museums or archaeological digs; I like seeing nature stuff as long as I don't have to get too sweaty or sunburnt; I'm eh about sporty things and snorkeling and windsurfing and all that. So I typically really enjoy the smaller ports, but I'm bored by the really big, touristy ones. Some of my cousins were going nuts at the big touristy ones because they could do so much beachy/adventurey stuff. Those were the days I reserved for duty-free shopping. :) But again, what's nice about a cruise is that people with lots of different interests can take a vacation all together. I could go to a museum of quilts all by myself and still have dinner with all my beach adventure relatives.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 2:25 PM on March 2, 2015
My wife and I love to travel and have often traveled with friends, which is great. However, some of my best memories are of evenings that we put aside to just have wine and cheese alone in the room and watching something bizarre (preferably in a foreign-to-us language--cartoons or melodramatic dramas) on TV.
I'd suggest a signal you agree on beforehand that means "I'm not sure I want to hang out with the group tonight." We used to use removing one earring and putting it back in.
If you like, you can use the excuse that one of you is feeling a bit seasick. Personally, I generally have problems sleeping but sleeping on a cruise is delicious and perfect. Having your person beside you makes it even better.
posted by Morrigan at 4:35 PM on March 2, 2015
I'd suggest a signal you agree on beforehand that means "I'm not sure I want to hang out with the group tonight." We used to use removing one earring and putting it back in.
If you like, you can use the excuse that one of you is feeling a bit seasick. Personally, I generally have problems sleeping but sleeping on a cruise is delicious and perfect. Having your person beside you makes it even better.
posted by Morrigan at 4:35 PM on March 2, 2015
General cruise tips:
posted by bluejayway at 4:58 PM on March 2, 2015
- Bring a power strip. Even modern cruise ships were not designed for you to easily power your entire electronic arsenal.
- Ships allow each person to bring 2 bottles of booze or wine aboard for personal use. This is way cheaper, albeit less exciting, than paying for wine and/or cocktails as you go.
- Wear a watch. Cell phones are nearly useless while at sea, so you'll be tempted to leave them in your room. Which is fine, but that might leave you without a convenient way to tell time.
- Go nuts at dinner! While the dinner menus themselves are limited, we've always been amazed at how flexible the kitchens can be with your order. Plus, they won't bat an eye if you order 4 entrees. Seriously. If you can't decide between the lobster and the steak, get both. Same price.
- As flexible as the main dining room is, consider going to one of the specialty restaurants for at least one meal. There's a cost (anywhere from $15-50 per person, depending on the restaurant NOT what you order), but the atmosphere is generally nicer, quieter, and the food can be leaps and bounds better.
posted by bluejayway at 4:58 PM on March 2, 2015
Bring small cross-body bags or wallets with caribeeners, to hold your room key card. That way everyone can carry their own card (vacation clothes don't always have pockets!). Carrying your own card means freedom to go back to the room whenever you want. Bring along a travel mug so that you can make a tea or coffee and take it back to your room. Also, pack books that you know you will be excited to sit and read. Have fun! Yes cruises are loud and busy,but I also was pleasantly surprised at the sense of community you feel!
posted by leslievictoria at 7:34 PM on March 2, 2015
posted by leslievictoria at 7:34 PM on March 2, 2015
This thread is closed to new comments.
Your cruise experience will depend on your cruise line and vessel -- and you are more likely to find your answers in the cruise line specific forum than here.
posted by prk60091 at 10:29 AM on March 2, 2015 [2 favorites]