Meeting people in a big city

November 21, 2005 3:01 PM

How do I meet friends in San Francisco?

I'm a 1+ year San Francisco resident who is having trouble meeting male and female friends. Unfortunately I don't work where I live so that avenue is closed. Is there anywhere young (under 35?) professionals meet? Any ideas in general?

posted by vaportrail to human relations (19 comments total)

What are your hobbies? What do you do for fun?
posted by Rothko at 3:07 PM on November 21, 2005

get some hobbies. take classes at SFCC or SFSU or something - dance, photography, martial arts; whatever floats your boat - friendships often materialize out of shared interests.

it also helps to spend your time learning something interesting - it makes you a more interesting person, which is a lot more attractive to people than someone who merely wants a friend.

also, you may have to stick your neck out some. i'm not sure what the comment in the question about "working where you live" means, but if you know people at work who you think are nice or cool or whatever, start by asking if they want to go get a beer or something after work. you'd be surprised how many potential friendships never happen because nobody bothered to show any interest.
posted by sergeant sandwich at 3:10 PM on November 21, 2005

try Tribe or Bay Area link up both have events that force you to go out and meet people.
posted by culberjo at 3:11 PM on November 21, 2005

I met some nice folks at the Metafilter meetups.
posted by ikkyu2 at 3:22 PM on November 21, 2005

Take an improv class (loads to choose from), or an SFCC class like Sgt. Sandwich suggested, or on arts class, or whatever. Subscribe to the laughing squid event list and look for events on Craigslist; go to various weird events; talk to people there. Volunteer for something you care about (for some activity where you work with others.) Join a bike group (or otherwise some group physical activity.) Take a San Francisco Bike Coalition bike tour of the city.

There's a whole hell of a lot going on all the time in the City (and surround.) Meeting people's really no more difficult than you want to make it.
posted by Zed_Lopez at 3:25 PM on November 21, 2005

Rothko-

As far as hobbies go: Running/ Dirt Bikes/ Snowboarding/ etc. I have interest in photography so maybe that would be a great class to take.

By "working where I live" I mean I do not have the usual resource of grabbing a beer after work with coworkers. Seems the few people I do know in the city use work for social networking.

I'm also considering volunteer work but need to take the plunge.

Great ideas here, please keep them coming.
posted by vaportrail at 3:28 PM on November 21, 2005

I second all the suggestions above. You can also subscribe to flavorpill's SF newsletter for some ideas for interesting music/arts/cultural events.
posted by trip and a half at 3:30 PM on November 21, 2005

You can also subscribe to flavorpill's SF newsletter for some ideas for interesting music/arts/cultural events.

Can you easily meet people at such things? (serious question)
posted by grouse at 3:46 PM on November 21, 2005

grouse, I would imagine that would depend somewhat on the nature of the particular event, but the list often includes things like gallery openings, fund-raising mixers, etc., where there is more of a 'social' atmosphere. For example, they listed a friend's trailer premier/fundraiser for a film he produced about the history of surfing in SF -- and the atmosphere there was very conducive to meeting other folks with a similar interest. (BTW I have absolutely no connection with flavorpill... it was just something that occurred to me.)
posted by trip and a half at 4:06 PM on November 21, 2005

Learn to play pool. The good thing about pool is the worse you are at it, the more people enjoy playing you.
posted by AmbroseChapel at 4:08 PM on November 21, 2005

seconding the above suggestion for the laughing squid's squidlist which is chock-full of weird and interesting events.
posted by sergeant sandwich at 4:15 PM on November 21, 2005

I'm in your boat (live in SF, work in the south bay). I just joined www.urbandiversions.com, and while pricey, seems promising. I've only been to one event, but the people were late 20s-early 30s and friendly.

Bay Area Linkup is ok, but the people skew older. I've gone on many events with them and never had better than a mediocre time. I'm not much of a people person, so YMMV. Also, I rarely see the same people, so it's difficult to form friendships. I hear that if you're into hiking that group has formed a fairly tight circle. I don't much care for hiking, so no luck there.

I've made a few friends who were tennis partners I picked up on craigslist. Tennis is good because it's two people, and if you find a good match (in terms of ability and personality) then you'll keep seeing one another. Once you have a few connections, your social world grows exponentially.

Good luck! Come to the next MeFi meetup in the city.
posted by jewzilla at 4:22 PM on November 21, 2005

i have no idea what kind of activities you're looking for, and i'm a bit afraid my suggestion is going to be a bit off considering how you want to socialize with "young professionals" (and here i imagine - those with tie-wearing professionals??) but anyway...assuming you just want to make friends around your age, i suggest you join some (drunk) sporting events. there are many groups in sf that do that type of things - some a pick-up game, others a league. league is great in that you'll have plenty of time to get to know your team members, but you have to wait until the season opener. pick-up games are better in that you can start pretty much whenever.
there are competitive ones as well as "we just want to drink and have fun" type of things.

google search for sf bay area sporting stuff, particularly in the field of: jogging, biking/cycling, kickball, softball, soccer, volleyball, basket ball, etc. it's a good way to get out, have fun, and get drunk.
posted by grafholic at 4:32 PM on November 21, 2005

Was just looking at the Fine Arts Museums website, thinking about becoming a member (happens I'm a relatively young professional myself), and found this:

I'm a young professional and I'm new in town and I'm looking for a way to meet other young professionals with similar interests. Do the museums have anything to offer me?

Yes! ArtPoint is the young professionals organization associated with the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco. ArtPoint emphasizes educational, social and networking opportunities. It can be added onto your Participating or higher membership for as little as $25. For more information, visit the ArtPoint website at , call the ArtPoint Hotline, 415.750.7607, or call the Membership Department, 415.750.3636

So you might want to give that a try. Presuming you're into supporting the arts, that is, which a lot of young professionals are.
posted by ikkyu2 at 4:51 PM on November 21, 2005

Er, sorry about that broke link. It's ArtPoint.
posted by ikkyu2 at 4:52 PM on November 21, 2005

Bay Area Hoopers!
http://bayareahoopers.tribe.net/
http://bah.hooping.org
posted by arielmeadow at 5:21 PM on November 21, 2005

How 'bout checking out the flickr groups that are in the Bay Area, for example the main SF group? There are occasional discussion threads about meetups. (Or find a group with interesting photos and posters, and suggest a get-together yourself.)
posted by rob511 at 5:37 PM on November 21, 2005

I was in your exact position when I moved here in February. I met my friends here by basically just chipping away at it (and the MeFi meetups, naturally!) I looked at all the online event listings (including squidlist, upcoming.org, the Guardian, etc.), found things that interested me and then just started showing up. After a couple times on the fringes of events I started seeing the same people, which gave me the opportunity to say, "Hey, didn't I see you at...?" It's a good introduction and also gives you a shared experience to talk about. If you sign up at upcoming.org you can even see who's planning to attend an event, and what other events those same people are into.

The real key though is to get up the guts to talk to strangers, which takes a while. But once I did I realized everybody wants to meet new people, they just need someone to take the initiative. A friend asked me recently, "How did you meet so many people?" and I said, "I looked them in the eye, smiled, extended my hand and said 'Hi, I'm Cali.'"
posted by cali at 8:52 PM on November 21, 2005

You can post on Craig's List to meet people for lunch - I did that before and met some interesting people.
posted by teleskiving at 11:55 PM on November 21, 2005